J U N E /J U LY 2 0 2 2

Contents
Learning self-love
Page 80

play 9 glow 19 move
29 style 41 a late
person reforms
(kinda) 53 natalia
dyer 58 dating irl 68
our gambling crisis 74
this is my body 80 do
we all need therapy?
90 summer beauty
awards 96 beach to
bar style 106 love 115
solo travel 123
the last page 130

Summer trends
Page 41

Period-proof
swimwear
Page 29
COVE R PH OTO G R A PH BY J OS E F I N A SA NTOS
C O V E R FA S H I O N B Y C A S S I E A N D E R S O N

On Natalia: Blazer, Casablanca, casablancaparis.com (for similar styles); ring, Sidney Garber, sidneygarber.com.
Hair: Gonn Kinoshita for The Wall Group. Make-up: Carolina Dali for The Wall Group. Manicure: Kayo Higuchi for Bryan Bantry

C o s m o p o l i ta n

3

Perfect summer
algebra
The only maths I can
get on board with

A REALLY GOOD BOOK
Read Conversations With
Friends before you watch it.

–

PHOTOGRAPHY: JOSEFINA SANTOS. ON NATALIA: BLAZER, VINTAGE JOSEPH, JOSEPH-FASHION.COM; TIGHTS, FOGAL, FOGAL.COM; CHOKER,
LANA JEWELRY, LANAJEWELRY.COM; BRACELETS, RAMONA ALBERT, RAMONAALBERT.SHOP. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES; ALAMY

From the editor
Roll up, roll up, and welcome to our new-look Cosmopolitan! Much
like that new poolside wardrobe, or hot-weather haircut, we just
felt like it was time for a bit of a refresh. So you might notice a few
changes here and there. But don’t worry, we’re still the Cosmopolitan
you know and love (and we’re better than ever, imo. Full disclosure:
there’s a chance I may be slightly biased).
Look, when you’re reading this, it might be absolutely pelting it
down outside while you stare longingly at that £45 pair of strappy
mules you treated yourself to but are yet to wear due to adverse
weather conditions. Because that is the beauty of our beloved
British ‘summer’. But crack open a
lukewarm gin in a tin and sit there
in a god-damn swimsuit if you want
because, well, other people are just
to, because we’re leaning into it,
a bit much at times, you know?
sunshine or no.
S ummer can b e a lot of fun .
Cover star Natalia Dyer spills
Pints in the park, devouring a pile of
all about our rainy-day saviour,
page-turners, complaining about
the return of Stranger Things, on
the price of a 99... But it can also be
p58. We’ve rated and ranked the
a delicate time for our self-esteem.
very best melt-proof make-up and
So, on p80, we invited six women
skincare saviours on p96, for our
to pose nude and open up about
annual Summer Beauty Awards. If
their complicated relationships with
you feel like giving your overused
their bodies. They were captured
swiping finger a vacation (fyi: she’s
beautifully by portrait artist Alex
headed to Mexico), we’ve roadCameron and I hope their stories
tested the best ways to find love irl
can remind us all that our bodies
on p68. But we’ve also rounded up
are so much more than the size
our top solo travel advice on p123
on a bikini label. The road to selfacceptance can be rocky, but at least
we’ve got company in each other.

Claire Hodgson
EDITOR-IN- CHIEF

THE INCORRECT RATIO
OF APEROL SPRITZ
INGREDIENTS
Yes, I see you overpouring the
soda, and I do not approve.

+

EATING A FAB LAYER
BY LAYER
I will bite the choc, nibble the
middle, then suck the icy bit.

–

SKY-HIGH HEELS
Kitten heels are back. Comfort
and style. Mango, £49.99.

+

AT LEAST ONE DAY OF
RAIN PER FORTNIGHT
Sometimes it’s nice for the
weather to cancel my plans.

+

+
A GOOD MASCARA
There’s a reason we’ve
given MacStack (£26)
a Summer Beauty Award.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

5

Besides working
for Cosmopolitan
(obviously), what
would be your
dream job?

CLAIRE HODGSON
Editor-in-Chief
Executive Editor (Digital) JESS EDWARDS
(maternity)
Acting Executive Editor (Digital) ZOE SHENTON
Creative Director DECLAN FAHY
Workflow Director CARLY LEVY

Entertainment
Does ‘lottery winner’
count as a job?

Matron at a posh Wild
Child-style boarding
school, baking birthday
cakes and giving outof-touch dating advice

Acting Entertainment Editor
DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT
Acting Senior Entertainment & Lifestyle Writer
DANIELLA SCOTT
Acting Editorial Assistant & Junior Writer
EMILY GULLA

Features
Features Director CATRIONA INNES
Features Editor JENNIFER SAVIN
Sex & Relationships Editor MEGAN WALLACE
Features Writer JADE BIGGS

Design

One day, I’ll quit the
city and flip an old
farmhouse into a cute
hotel in Tuscany

Probably a lighthouse
keeper in the Outer
Hebrides, so I can read
in peace with minimal
contact from the
outside world

Art Director WILL JACK
Art Editor NATHALIE BATES (maternity)
Art Editor REBECCA BRIDLE
Acting Art Editor PETRA MANLEY-LEACH
Art Editor JESSICA WEBB
Designer FLORENCE OGRAM

Pictures
Photographic Director RACHAEL CLARK
Photographic Director EMILY MURPHY
Picture Editor SARAH ANDERSON
Picture Editor SHANA LYNCH
Picture Researcher SALLY PRICE

Production
Group Chief Sub/Production Editor
VICTORIA RUDLAND
Deputy Chief Sub Editor MATT BLACKWELL
Deputy Chief Sub Editor JAMES BROWN
Sub Editor RHIANNON JENKINS
Sub Editor KIRTEY VERMA

Beauty
It’s a toss-up between
a cinematographer or
being paid to be myself
online. Let’s face it, who
wouldn’t want that?

I’d run a bookshop
that’s also a cosy bar.
Imagine: cocktails
surrounded by walls of
books. Floaty dresses
and huge glasses would
be my go-to uniform

Beauty Director VICTORIA JOWETT
Deputy Beauty Editor HANNA IBRAHEEM

HE ARST UK
Interim CEO, Hearst UK | President, Hearst Europe
SIMON HORNE
Finance Director JULIEN LITZELMANN
Chief People Officer SURINDER SIMMONS
Director of Operations SOPHIE WILKINSON
Chief International Brand Officer MATT HAYES
Group Brand Director STEVEN MILES
Interim Director of PR & Communications ALISON FORTH
Editorial Business Director CONNIE OSBORNE
Business Strategy Director ROMAIN METRAS
Editorial Business Manager STACEY TOMLIN
Digital Development Director MATT HILL

Hearst Solutions
Chief Commercial Officer JANE WOLFSON
Head of Partnerships MARK MCCAFFERTY
Head of Clients OLLIE LLOYD
Head of Digital Sales RYAN BUCKLEY
Head of Fashion, Beauty & Luxury SARAH TSIRKAS
Head of Travel DENISE DEGROOT
Head of Entertainment & Technology KELLY WARNELL
Head of Food & Drink TIM ROSENBERG
Head of Classified & Independents LEE RIMMER
Client Director, Health & Wellness NATASHA BAILEY
Client Director, Fashion CHRIS HEALY (maternity cover)
Client Director, Beauty LEE BAILEY
Watches & Jewellery Manager OLIVIA HORROCKS-BURNS
Director of Commercial Production WILL VILLE
Art Director, Branded Content MAIREAD GLEESON
Head of Media Planning LUCY PORTER
Media Planning Manager BETH RONAN

Communications & PR
Head of PR & Communications BEN BOLTON
PR & Communications Manager CALUM FORBES

Shows & Events
Head of Events, Ops & Delivery MADOLYN GROVE
Events Partnership Director MICHELLE PAGLIARULO
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Consumer Sales & Marketing
Chief Consumer Revenue Officer REID HOLLAND
Circulation & Subscriptions Director JAMES HILL
Head of Subscriptions, Marketing & Circulation
JUSTINE BOUCHER
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Hearst Magazines International

Fashion
Fashion Director SASKIA QUIRKE
Fashion Editor NATASHA HARDING
Bookings Editor SOPHIE LEEN
Shopping Editor MADDY ALFORD
Fashion Assistant COURTNEY SMITH

Social & Video
Head of Social SOPHIE BOYDEN
Video Lead ALEX HERING
Deputy Social Media Manager KIERA SPRONK
Junior Video Editor/Producer TYRA CHUCK

President, Hearst Magazines International
JONATHAN WRIGHT
Senior Vice President/Global Editorial & Brand Director
KIM ST CLAIR BODDEN
Global Editorial & Brand Director CHLOE O’BRIEN
Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan (1965-1997)
HELEN GURLEY BROWN

International Editions
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Contributors
LOTTIE LUMSDEN (Group Talent Director)
AMANDA STATHAM (Travel) KEEKS REID (Beauty)
LAUREN NICOLE COPPIN CAMPBELL (Fashion)
ALICE SNAPE (Features)
HOLLIE-ANNE BROOKS (Features)

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play
There’s SO
much good
stuff coming
out right now
Ten non-negotiable
updates to your queue
B Y E M I LY G U L L A

C o s m o p o l i ta n

9

P L AY

Playlist

Conversations
With Friends
Premiering 15 May,
BBC Three

Follow student Frances
and her ex-gf (now best
friend) Bobbi – as they get
entangled with Melissa
and her husband Nick.
Starring Joe Alwyn ( The
Favourite), Jemima Kirke
(Girls) and Sasha Lane
( American Honey), plus
newcomer Alison Oliver.

Stranger Things season four

Umbrella
Academy season
three
Premiering 22 June, Netflix

The platform’s biggest
superhero show is back.
After stopping doomsday
in 1963, the Hargreeves
siblings are in the present
with a new enemy and a
new apocalypse. Robert
Sheehan and Elliot Page
are joined by a host of new
faces, including Cazzie
David and Jake Epstein.

10

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Love Island
Premiering early
June, ITV

Summer is approaching,
which means one thing:
get your water bottles and
pool floats ready, because
it’s time to head to the
villa. The dating show is
back for an eighth series,
which means more eggs
in baskets, more types on
paper and a new group
of singles looking for love.
We’re ready to be invested.

Finally, it’s here. Head to
the Upside Down with
all your favourite cast
members – Millie Bobby
Brown, Finn Wolfhard,
Natalia Dyer and Joe
Keery. With the Byers
family and Eleven now
in Cali, are we saying
bye to Hawkins for
good? And just
in time for spring
break; what could
go wrong?

PHOTOGRAPHY: BBC; NETFLIX; SHUTTERSTOCK;
GETTY IMAGES; MOVIESTILLS DB; HELENE PAMBRUN

Volume 1 premiering 27 May, Volume 2 on 1 July, Netflix

P L AY

Playlist

George Ezra Gold Rush Kid

Thor: Love
And Thunder

Harry Styles –
Harry’s House

Released 10 June

In cinemas 8 July

Released 20 May

The angelic tones of
George Ezra are back,
as the singer-songwriter
releases his third album
this June. We already got
a taste of what’s to come
back in January, when
Ezra dropped the first
single from the record,
Anyone For You . Summer
soundtrack = sorted.

Big names and powers fill
the latest MCU offering.
Chris Hemsworth returns
as Thor, Natalie Portman
as Jane Foster and Tessa
Thompson as Valkyrie,
with Christian Bale as Gorr
the God Butcher. Expect
action, comedy, romance
– and a Guardians Of The
Galaxy crossover to boot.

If Watermelon Sugar is
still your summer anthem,
we’ve got good news.
The ex-1D singer’s third
album is out in May and
is full of catchy melodies
and nostalgic lyrics, just
like his first single As It Was,
released in April. Perfect
for long evenings in the
garden, we say.

Senior Year

Abba Voyage
concerts

Everything I
Know About Love
Premiering June, BBC One

The adaptation of Dolly
Alderton’s much-loved
memoir is here, with Emma
Appleton and Bel Powley
playing the loveable BFFs
Maggie and Birdy. After
moving to London, Birdy
gets a boyfriend and their
friendship is tested. Like Sex
And The City, with more
pints, less impressive digs
and the same bad dates.

Premiering 13 May,
Netflix

Rebel Wilson and Alicia
Silverstone join forces in
this comedy. A high school
cheerleader falls off a
pyramid and gets stuck
in a 20-year coma, before
waking up as a 37-yearold woman keen to return
to senior year – and to
reclaim her prom queen
status. The summer high
school movie we need.

Starting 27 May

Is any act more iconic?
This concert is ‘40 years
in the making’ and will
see Abba’s digital avatars
perform with a live band
in a custom-built arena
in the Queen Elizabeth
Olympic Park. Dates
range from 27 May
to 4 December. Visit
abbavoyage.com for
more details.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

11

P L AY

TV

An unofficial ranking
of the best and worst
dating shows ever
There’s a whole world beyond the
Love Island villa...

1

BY DAN I E LL A SCOTT

The Worst
1. Date My Mom
2004 - 2006
Remind me: The series followed
one person who went on dates
with three mums who each tried
to convince them to date their
son or daughter.
Success or flop: It has an IMDb
score of 2.2, so what do you think?
Memorable moment: The bit
where contestants got real, actual
tattoos. We hope it was worth it.

2. I Wanna Marry

‘Harry’
2014
Remind me: This US dating show
followed 12 women who came to
the UK to compete for the heart of
‘Prince Harry’. If the speech marks
didn’t already give it away, that
man was not Prince Harry…
Success or flop: In terms of
so-bad-it’s-good comedy value,
the show was a hit. In terms of
being an actual TV show? It was
cancelled after just four episodes.
Memorable moment: The idea
that anyone would believe this man,
who was clearly not Prince Harry,
was Prince Harry. The impersonator
himself, Matthew Hicks, has since
said in interviews that he didn’t think
any of the women believed it at all.

3. Room Raiders
2003 - 2009
Remind me: The contestant
would investigate the bedrooms
of three singles looking for love
and, based on what they found,
they’d decide who to date.
Success or flop: Growing up, you
probably loved this show. But just

12

C o s m o p o l i ta n

step back for a second. The dates
were ‘kidnapped’ and shoved into
a van where they watched a screen
showing a stranger going through
their stuff. This isn’t TV, this is chaos.
Memorable moment: The
contestants were always given
a black light to use in prospective
dates’ rooms. The stains were
harrowing and no more needs
to be said on the matter.

2

4. Dating In

The Dark
2009 - 2016
Remind me: It’s pretty selfexplanatory. A load of single people
are set up on blind dates that take
place in complete darkness. The
idea being that they get to know
each other’s personalities first.
Basically an early Love Is Blind.
Success or flop: At first, people
liked the premise, but it’s
impressive how quickly strangers
meeting in the dark gets a little dry.
Memorable moment: Painfully
and honestly? Every scene when
the lights go on. People can’t hide
their reactions.

3

5. Beauty

And The Geek
2005 - 2008
Remind me: The show followed
a group of ‘beauties’ and a group
of ‘geeks’ competing in challenges
and looking for love. And the
$250,000 prize money, of course.
Success or flop: The show got
a fairly big viewership, but after
two seasons it started losing its
charm and was swiftly cancelled.
Memorable moment: The
outrageous descriptions producers
created for the contestants, eg,
‘Lives with parents’ and ‘Sweater
vest enthusiast’.

4

5

P L AY

1

The Best
1. Blind Date
1985 - 2019

2

3

Remind me: Future generations
will never know the joy of settling
in on a Saturday night to see
Scouse royalty Cilla Black set
up blind dates through a series
of saucy, wink-wink questions.
Success or flop: The show ran
for a solid 34 years so, yes, you
could say it was a success.
Memorable moment: The
episode where Cilla rumbled
an undercover Cosmopolitan
journalist who was on the show
to write a feature about it. Iconic.

2. First Dates
2013 - now
Remind me: It’s the dating show
that never fails to warm our hearts.
The show takes place in a restaurant
where everyone is on a blind date,

TV

Success or flop: Love Island
is probably the biggest dating
show around, boasting millions
of viewers, huge cultural influence
and practically its own language
#coupledup #pied.
Memorable moment: Entire
volumes could be written on this,
but if we had to pick one it’s got
to be that awkward moment from
self-proclaimed villa barista
Curtis: ‘I want to be the person
that gets up and makes everyone
a coffee so everyone’s ready
for the morning.’

4. Too Hot To Handle
2020 - now
Remind me: A group of
outrageously attractive people
spend the summer in a house
together, wearing skimpy
swimwear and coupling up.
Except they’re not allowed any
sexual contact whatsoever; if
they do, they lose prize money.
Success or flop: No one knew if
Netflix’s answer to Love
Island would be a hit or
not, but it turns out that
the drama involved in not
having sex might actually
be better than the drama
involved in having it.
Memorable moment:
When Georgia from
series three managed to hold it
together while Patrick sang her
a song on his acoustic guitar,
then ended with an ‘I love you’.
They were just two days in.

‘Future generations
will never know
the joy of Cilla’

PHOTOGRAPHY: ITV/SHUTTERSTOCK; ALAMY; GETTY IMAGES; WENN; MTV; CHANNEL 4

4

5

and at the end they have to say
if they want to see each other
again or not. Their backstories
are basically always tear-jerking.
Success or flop: This show has
been a massive hit, has won
multiple awards and set up lots
of happy couples in the process.
Memorable moment: Without
a doubt the date between Aaron
and Ibiba who met on series five.
They’re now happily married and
have an adorable little girl. Cute!

3. Love Island
2015 - now
Remind me: As if you need
reminding. It actually began in
2005 with a celebrity special,
but didn’t really become the
show we know now until 2015.
You know the drill: stereotypically
‘sexy singles’ head into a villa and
couple up with each other in a
bid to win the ultimate prizes: cash
and love (neither guaranteed).

5. The Undateables
2012 - now
Remind me: The series follows
the dates and romances of
single people with disabilities
who signed up to a dating agency.
Success or flop: In the decade
since the award-winning show
first aired, it’s gained a huge,
loyal fanbase. While the name
attracted some criticism,
audiences love the heart-warming
romances and the important
stories told by participants.
Memorable moment: The
2018 Christmas special when
Daniel proposed to Lily. She
said yes and as they danced
together afterwards, she told
him, ‘I’m so happy.’ Sob.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

13

P L AY

Celeb

Joe Keery
The Stranger Things star is tired
of talking about his hair. So we
decided to ask him about his
kick-ass girlfriend instead

You’re in a long-term
relationship with
Villains actress Maika
Monroe. Any tips?
‘Understanding yourself
will make any relationship
better. Like, take some
time and focus on
yourself. And listening is
so important. Listening
and selflessness, those
are two things we
practise. There shouldn’t
be big-time drama.
Big-time drama is terrible.’

We’ve noticed that
it seems like you
borrow her style…
‘I take some of the looks
she has and interpret
them. She has a good
sense of cut and fit, and
she likes great belts and
shoes. She has a semirock ’n’ roll look going on,
and I like that. So I’ll steal it
as much as I can… until
she tells me to stop.’
So, about your hair.
You’re probs sick of
people asking...
‘Totally.’

14

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Sorry…
‘No, it’s okay. I think
you kind of have to ask
at this point.’
Are you
excited to cut it
off some day?
‘Yeah, for sure.’
You have experimented
with a moustache in the
meantime…
‘Just for fun, you know?
I wanted to mix things
up. It turns out I can’t
really grow too much of a
moustache. I just wanted
to see how having one
would feel.’

We heard you
and Maika go
kiteboarding?!
‘She’s way better than
I am. I’ve gone with
her and her dad, and I’m
more or less out there
sinking, but I’m learning.
I can at least ride it now
instead of just wiping out.
It’s cool that she’s got
another interest and skill
that is so high-calibre.
That’s a whole other
career she had, and
it’s something I’ve
always found really
admirable about her.’

PHOTOGRAPHY: AARON FEAVER/THE LICENSING PROJECT, ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY: GETTY IMAGES. WATCH STRANGER THINGS SEASON 4 PART 1 ON NETFLIX FROM 27 MAY

B Y M O L LY S T O U T

P L AY

The total beginner’s
guide to Marvel
Because, wow, there are
a lot of these films!

GLOSSARY WORDS: CLAIRE HODGSON. PHOTOGRAPHY: ALAMY; MOVIESTILLS DB; GETTY IMAGES. *OPINION DIVIDED OVER WHETHER HE’S A HERO OR VILLAIN

BY E LIZ AB ETH E NTE N MAN

The ones
played by
the Chrises

Welcome to the
Marvel Cinematic
Universe, aka the
MCU, aka the home
of almost every
superhero you’ve
seen in spandex
heard of, including
the Avengers. And
if you’ve been just
half-watching for the
muscly Thor scenes
(no judgement), you
should probably
give a damn about
the details, now that
Doctor Strange In
The Multiverse Of
Madness is out.
Is there a ridiculous
number of big
characters (some
human, some –
most? – not)? Sure.
But nearly all the
movies are tied
together, so learn
’em at once (read:
right now) and you’ll
suddenly be able to
get every nefarious
threat and inside
joke. So let’s start
with the basics – and
also accept the fact
that you’ll probably
spend your first few
Marvels googling
questions. It’s fine.

1. Captain
America:
Chris Evans .
A 1940s supersoldier who
wakes up in
2011, midcentury charm
still intact.

glossary
The heroes
and heroines

Thanos
A really bad dude.
Pretty much just
wanted total control
of everything.

More people you want by your
side when shit gets real.

Did I mention this would get
confusing?

4 . Captain
Marvel: Brie
Larson. A
badass US
Air Force pilot
(with powers,
obvs).

3 . Star-Lord:
aka Peter
Quill. Chris
Pratt.
Part human,
part sort-ofalien. A little
full of himself,
but somehow
it works.

5 . Black
Panther:
Chadwick
Boseman.
The king of
Wakanda
and also our
hearts.

2 . Thor: Chris
Hemswor th.
God of
thunder. Has
a (very heavy)
hammer and
knows how
to use it.

6 . SpiderMan: Tom
Holland.
You know the

2

M ov i e s

Th e B l ip

basics. He’s
just a kid but
really wants to
be an Avenger.

In Avengers: Infinity
War, Thanos
vanished half of all
life in the universe
(rude). In Avengers:
Endgame, the
remaining Avengers
brought them all back
via some time-travel
cleverness. This
period is ‘The Blip’.

7. Black
Widow:
Scarlett
Johansson.
A scary-smart
former Russian
super-spy.

West view

8 . Doctor
Strange:
Benedict
Cumberbatch.
A former
neurosurgeon
pulled into the
world of the
mystic arts*.

An alternate-reality
neighbourhood
Wanda Maximoff
magicked-up for
herself and her
super-android boyf
Vision in TV series
WandaVision.

5

The Multiverse
Alternative universes
that make basically
anything possible.
See Spider-Man: No
Way Home for proof.
6

3

Loki
Thor’s sometimes
bad, sometimes
good, always
entertaining,
adopted bro.
Also had his own
TV show.

8

1
7

4
C o s m o p o l i ta n

15

P L AY

B o o ks

Match your book
to your holiday
We’ve got a new release for each and every summer vibe.
Or pack them all, you know, just in case…
COM PI LE D BY ALICE S NAPE

Picking out a holiday read is one of life’s great pleasures. Whether it’s
choosing what will suit the type of trip you’re taking, looking for a plot
that reflects your location or just matching the cover with your summer
wardrobe, there’s no judgement here. So we’ve rounded up the best new
releases and paired them with a perfect reading scenario. You’re welcome.

BE ACH
H O LI DAY

FIRST SOLO TRIP/HOLIDAY WITH
YOU R M AT E S A F TER A B RE AK- UP

LON G WE E KE N D I N A CI T Y
OF YO U R C H O IC E

F I RST HOL I DAY
W IT H YO U R PA RT NE R

ONE LAST SECRET

NOTES ON HEARTBREAK

WHAT TIME IS LOVE?

by Adele Parks

by Annie Lord

WALKING ON
COWRIE SHELLS

Out 7 July

Out 23 June

by Nana Nkweti

Page-turning thrillers are the
ultimate beach read and this one
serves up the perfect dose of
escapism laced with tension and
darkness. Dora is a sex worker who
decides to take on one last job
before she quits the profession
to get married. It’s seemingly
straightforward – a week at a
luxurious French chateau with a
regular, posing as his girlfriend. But
when she arrives, she’s confronted
by a man she’s sure she knows, and
as her past unravels, she begins to
question everything – including her
own mind. You’ll read it in one
greedy gulp and come up gasping
for a glass of wine as the sun sets.

A love story told in reverse, this
relatable memoir starts with a
devastating break-up that writer
Annie Lord never saw coming.
It then revisits key moments from
Annie’s past, from the first spark
when she knew she’d fallen head
over heels, to the months that saw
the erosion of a bond she once
thought was forever. There are
relatable tales of being ghosted,
messy rebound sex and stalking an
ex’s new partner on Insta that will
make you realise you’re not the
only one. Pack a pen for furious
underlining – and don’t forget
plenty of tissues for all the lolz
and those drippy-mascara sobs.

16

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Out now

A sophisticated short story
collection is perfect for dipping into
as you watch the world go by –
especially if you can’t always finish
a novel in the space of a couple of
days. Our fave story, It Takes A
Village Some Say, explores racial
prejudice, international adoption
and financial domination. The first
half of the story is written from
the viewpoint of white adoptive
parents, then switches to that of the
adopted teen girl who comes to
the USA from Cameroon. The
writing is delicious and compelling,
with lingering sentences you’ll want
to read over and over again.

by Holly W illiams
Out 26 May

How do you know if you’re meant
to be? This debut could help you
answer that question. Imagining
what might happen if one couple
met at different points in time –
1947, 1967 and 1987 – it offers
serious food for thought on what
makes a relationship work. Each
time they meet, Violet and Albert
are 20 years old – but how they
fall in love is shaped by the
changing times they’re living in,
as the couple navigate huge
differences in class, gender,
privilege and opportunity. It’ll make
for lively discussions over dinner,
too – would you still fall in love if
you met in a different decade?

P L AY

TV

Just a list of things about Gilmore
Girls that still don’t make any sense
It’s been 15 years since the finale, and we’re not over it yet…
B Y E M M A B AT Y

1. The layout of
Stars Hollow
This town is so small,
and yet Rory and
Lorelai approach the
square from a different
angle every single time
they go. Geographically
impossible!

PHOTOGRAPHY: ALAMY, MOVIESTILLS DB, © WARNER BROS/EVERETT COLLECTION. GILMORE GIRLS IS AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX

2. Town hall meeting
attendance

5. The sex-negative
attitude
Rory is shamed for
losing her virginity as
Dean’s ‘other woman’
– Paris loses hers and
then doesn’t get into
Harvard (what?!).
But the worst of the
show’s anti-sex
messaging has
to be…

I’m sorry, but the exact
same group of people
would never show up

6. Lane’s pregnancy

anywhere on a regular
schedule unless it’s their

teenage girls like a
main character getting

job. My group chat
can’t even coordinate

pregnant – with twins!
– after having sex one

a Friday night wine.

whole time. Was this
show secretly an

3. Rory and Lorelai’s
spending habits
They complain about
being broke but hit up
Luke’s for almost every
meal, so I guess their
burger budget is
actually massive? Also,
I doubt anyone’s body
could cope with the
amount of coffee
they consume.

4. Max and Lorelai
They get engaged after
dating on and off for
just a few months,
spending more
time apart than
they do together.
I’ve had cups in my
room for longer.

Nothing freaks out

abstinence PSA?

7. The existence of
April Nardini
That’s it.
That’s the issue.

8. Lorelai being mad
about Rory’s book
Ah, the reboot. Why
would Lorelai not
want Rory to write the
Gilmore Girls book?
It’s selfish, icky, and
totally uncharacteristic.
Lorelai: Do! Better!

C o s m o p o l i ta n

17

g l ow

The rise of
waterless beauty
From powder shampoos to solid-form
moisturisers, beauty products sans water are
the latest trend to trickle in from South Korea.
Here’s why you’re about to be a convert…
BY HAN NA I B R AH E E M

M AY/J U N E 2 02 2

C o s m o p o l i ta n

19

Wa te r l e s s b e a u t y

Fun fact: a standard bottle
of shampoo contains around
70% water. For conditioners,
that number bumps up to around
90%, leaving little room for the
valuable stuff. And it isn’t just
hair products, either. Grab any
skincare product and more
often than not, you’ll notice
‘aqua/water’ sitting firmly at
the top of its ingredients list.
‘This means it makes up the
greatest part of the volume
compared with other ingredients,’
explains Brianne West, founder
and CEO of sustainable beauty
brand Ethique. ‘The majority of
the water in liquid shampoo,
conditioner or face wash is just
creating the illusion of value by
filling a big bottle.’ Basically,
it’s filler – sort of like when you’d
pad out essays at university with
‘thus’ or ‘it’s important to note’
to hit the word count.
However, it is important to
note that water scarcity is a real
concern. According to Unicef,
four billion people (almost twothirds of the world’s population)
experience water scarcity at
least one month each year. It
also predicts that half of the
world’s population could be
living in areas facing water
scarcity by as early as 2025,
which, frankly, is pretty terrifying.
In an industry that pumps
out products filled with H₂O,
more and more beauty brands
are (thankfully) beginning to see
the light at the end of the tap.
Enter: a new wave (sorry) of
waterless beauty products.
‘Alternatives are emerging in
the form of waterless beauty,
from solid formulas to alternative
natural oils, and products that

20

C o s m o p o l i ta n

don’t require water to work,’ says
Clare Varga, director of beauty
at trend forecaster WGSN.
Larger companies are doing
their bit as well. L’Oréal has
pledged to test all its formulas to
guarantee they are respectful of
all aquatic ecosystems by 2030,
and P&G is reducing its water use
by 20% by 2030. Additionally, a
slew of waterless beauty brands
have emerged over the years.
It goes without saying that
water-filled products can have
a detrimental impact on the
environment. ‘Water is heavy
and cosmetic products including
water are heavier than those that

don’t,’ explains Varga. ‘Creating
formulas in dry, powder forms,
or using innovative technologies,
will help reduce shipping costs
as well as the carbon footprint
of each shipment: the heavier
the cargo, the more energy is
required to move it.’
We’re beginning to tackle the
issue in our own bathrooms, too.
According to Mintel, 13% of UK
consumers are interested in
switching to dry-use soap, bath
and shower products. ‘To me,
it seems absurd that traditional
beauty products are made and
shipped with 70% to 95% water,
then they’re used in a room

PHOTOGRAPHY: STOCKSY

G LOW

G LOW

Wa te r l e s s b e a u t y

Waterless beauty products to
upgrade your routine
BY L AU RE N BAL SAMO AN D HAN NA I B R AH E E M

where water is literally on tap,’
says West. ‘Why not just buy
the stuff that makes a product
and lessen your consumer
waste and your carbon
footprint at the same time?’
Aside from making airport
security a breeze (powder
and solid formulas means byebye see-through liquids bags),
waterless products have
skincare benefits, too. ‘Replacing
water – which tends to actually
dehydrate skin – with botanical
butters and oils will increase
the efficacy of the product,
allowing for more moisturised,
glowing skin,’ says Linda Treska,
founder of waterless beauty
brand Pinch Of Colour.

‘Why not just buy
the stuff that makes
a product and lessen
your consumer
waste and your
carbon footprint
at the same time?’
Plus, water in a product equals
more preservatives. ‘Once you
introduce water into a formula,
you risk bacteria growth, so
preservatives are necessary
and often harsh on sensitive skin,’
says Treska. Not ideal. Varga
adds that it’s likely consumers
see water as aiding hydration
or glow and calls for the industry
to set this misconception straight.
Interested in waterless
products but not sure where to
start? Let us show you how to
follow a skincare routine with
less H₂O, while maintaining
maximum glow…

1. SHAMPOO
One Ethique shampoo
bar equals around three
bottles of liquid shampoo.
Glide it over wet hair and
rub in to create a fluffy
foam that’s also safe for
colour-treated hair (it’s
great for shaving, too).
Ethique Tip To Toe Shampoo
& Shaving Bar, £12

2. FACE SERUM
This bar (it’ll last for
about six to eight weeks)
is infused with a superconcentrated blend of
brightening vitamin C,
nourishing rosehip oil
and skin-healing sea
buckthorn oil.
Sbtrct Vitamin C Booster, £30

3. MOISTURISER
Yes, friends, face lotion
does come in solid
form. At least until you
swipe it on and the heat
from your skin melts its
botanical oils, creating
a long-lasting, nourishing
effect. Tri-Balm even
contains pumpkin
enzymes to exfoliate
skin and makes for a
brilliant cleanser, too.

1

Frances Prescott Tri-Balm, £49

4. BODY WASH
Welcome to the exact
opposite of most regular
body washes. Plus Body
Wash is waterless, made
with biodegradable
ingredients and free
from single-use plastics.
Tear open a sachet and
activate the sheet with
water, then let the
packaging dissolve
down the drain. Magic.

2

3

4

5

Plus Body Wash in Cloud,
£12 for 16 sachets

5. LIPSTICK
Yep, waterless technology
is even making its way into
cosmetics, and Pinch Of
Colour is at the forefront.
Its matte lipsticks deliver
a punch of colour without
drying out lips.
Pinch Of Colour Matte Velvet
Waterless Lip Colour, £20

C o s m o p o l i ta n

21

G LOW

B o d y c a re

A reminder:
body care is
just as important
as skincare
No, this isn’t another
story about scrubs
BY VICTO RIA JOWETT AN D CH LO E M ETZGE R

22

C o s m o p o l i ta n

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARC BORDONS/STOCKSY UNITED

H

ands up if your
skincare stash is
full of powerful
creams, clever
actives and the
latest hi-tech
serums. Thought so. Now, can
you tell me what’s in your bodycare routine? Let me guess… a
budget shower gel and a nofrills lotion? Well, consider this
an intervention, because your
body deserves more. Sure, we
get it, your face is on show a
heck of a lot more than your
bod (thanks to the UK weather),
but using the correct products,
ingredients and formulas can
help treat – and, in some cases,
even prevent – a whole host
of skin issues, from body acne
(aka bacne) to keratosis pilaris.
Not sure where to start? We
got you. Consider this your
five-step guide to caring for
your body (the correct way),
plus a 101 on how to manage
if sh*t hits the fan.

G LOW

B o d y c a re

1

BRUSH UP
ON THE FACTS
Allow us to
introduce you to
dry body brushing.
Before hopping in
the shower or bath,
sweep a natural
fibre brush over
your limbs in long,
upwards motions.
Not only is it great
for exfoliating dead
skin, but it also aids
blood circulation,
which can improve
the tone and texture
of your skin.
1.

Legology Lymph-Lite
Boom Brush for Body, £16

GOOGLE
TRANSLATE
(FOR YOUR
SKIN)
Here’s where you
need to listen to
what your body is
saying: if your skin
is feeling dry and
looking ashy, add
an oil-based gentle
scrub to your shower
routine twice a week.
Prone to blemishes?
Use a smoothing
lotion with AHAs
to declog pores.

2.

Mirror Water Buff Body
Exfoliator, £32
Tropic Perfect Skin
Resurfacing Body
Lotion, £28

2

4. PROTECT,
DON’T NEGLECT
We know we’re not
sunning it up in Bali
(British weather can
be unreliable at
best), but even here
in cloudy Blighty,
you need to protect
your skin against
UVA or UVB rays.
Easily forgotten
spots like the neck,
decolletage and
the backs of hands
are some of the
first places to show
signs of ageing due
to sun damage, so
do yourself a favour,
load up on SPF.

3

5

Garnier Ambre
Solaire Invisible Protect
Glow Sun Protection
Spray SPF30, £14
5. THE

COCKTAILING
YOUR BODY CARE
Just like with your
face, skincare
cocktailing for your
body is absolutely
a thing. Layering
a hydrating body
serum, formulated
with hyaluronic acid
and ceramides,
under a rich cream
or oil will ensure
moisture is locked in
and help strengthen
the skin’s barrier.
3.

Nécessaire The Body
Serum, £45
Liha Idan Oil, £16

CORRECT
WAY TO
CLEANSE
No, we’re not talking
about the moisturezapping shower
gel that’ll leave
your skin feeling
dry and tight. You
need to opt for a
low-foam formula
that’s packed
with hydrating
ingredients that
will remove sweat
and cleanse,
without stripping
the skin.

4

Frank Body A Clearing
Body Wash, £9.95

C o s m o p o l i ta n

23

G LOW

B o d y c a re

Decode the
flare-ups
Something not quite
right? Don’t panic,
here’s what you
need to know

BUTT BUMPS
Please explain?
Folliculitis – a fancy
name for inflamed
hair follicles. These
pimple-like bumps
are fuelled by sweat,
friction and tight
clothes that seal in
bacteria or cause
irritation. Make ’em
mad enough and
they can even turn
into cysts. Fun!
Cool, now what?
Once a day, hop
in the shower and
give your bum a
rub-down with
a cleanser spiked
with probiotics and
a little tea tree (try
ZitSticka Silkshake
Probiotic Cleanser
For Barrier Balance,
£23) to neutralise
bump-causing
bacteria. Let it sit
for a couple of
minutes before
washing it off, then
spot-treat painful
areas with a
targeted benzoyl
peroxide gel (such
as Acnecide 5%
w/w Gel, £10.49).

1
1. ZitSticka Silkshake
Probiotic Cleanser For
Barrier Balance, £23
2. Acnecide 5% w/w
Gel, £10.49

24

C o s m o p o l i ta n

2

KERATOSIS
PILARIS
Please explain?
Sometimes referred
to as ‘chicken skin’,
a condition caused
by keratin (one of
the main proteins in
your skin) building
up in your hair
follicles. These
rough little bumps
are very common.
Cool, now what?
KP is genetic and
there’s no cure
(ugh), but you can
help dissolve bumps
by massaging your
arms with a
lactic- or glycolicacid-based lotion
three times a week
(we love Drunk
Elephant T.L.C.
Glycolic Body
Lotion, £21), then
slathering on a
rich moisturiser
such as Dizziak
Body Conditioner,
£20, whenever
you get out of the
shower. Oh, and
please stop picking
– it’ll only make
things worse.

1
1. Drunk Elephant
T.L.C. Glycolic
Body Lotion, £21.
2. Dizziak Body
Conditioner £20

2

B o d y c a re

G LOW

BACNE
Please explain?
Basically, classic
blemishes, often
from hormones or
hair products. Or if
you live in moisturetrapping athleisure
wear, it could be
fungal acne – itchy,
red or pus-filled
bumps caused by
an overgrowth of
yeast in your hair
follicles (don’t freak,
everyone’s skin
has yeast – sweaty
environments just
cause more of it
to grow).
Cool, now what?
Because hormonal
and fungal acne
can look similar,
you’ve got to treat
both. So (1) get
some dandruff
shampoo, such
as Nizoral AntiDandruff Shampoo,
£7.49, which uses
ketoconazole to
kill/prevent yeast
growth (also the
cause of dandruff).
Rub the shampoo
on your back in the
shower, wait three
minutes, then rinse.
And (2), after drying
off, wipe the bumps
with a salicylic acid
pad (try Nip+Fab
Salicylic Fix Night
Pads, £14.95) to
keep pores clear.

1

2

1. Nizoral Anti-Dandruff
Shampoo, £7.49
2. Nip+Fab Salicylic
Fix Night Pads, £14.95

FLAKY PATCHES
Please explain?
Scaly, ashy skin?
Leg dandruff when
you peel off those
skinny jeans? Yep,
we’ve been there.
It can be triggered
by anything from
weather changes
to hair removal –
and usually means
the skin barrier has
been compromised
and you’re now
losing moisture
by the minute.
Cool, now what?
Repairing the
barrier is key, so
avoid any harsh
cleansers, acids,
exfoliators or overly
tight clothing that
may irritate the
skin further. Look
for a repairing body
cream with shea
butter to nourish
and add moisture
back in (try La
Roche-Posay Lipikar
Moisturising Balm
AP+M, £20).
Persistent dryness,
cracked skin or
sore patches may
be an indication
of a more serious
skin condition,
such as eczema
or psoriasis. If in
doubt, go see your
GP or book an
appointment with
a dermatologist.

1
1. La Roche-Posay
Lipikar Moisturising
Balm AP+M, £20

C o s m o p o l i ta n

25

G LOW

M a ke - u p

BEST
MASCARAS
FOR

1. INTENSE VOLUME
Revolution Big Lash
Waterproof Volume
Mascara, £6

Why risk
sweating
off this total
masterpiece?

2. DRAMATIC LIFT
Lancôme Lash Idôle
Waterproof Mascara, £24

3. NEXT-LEVEL LENGTH

‘Waterproof mascara
is bad for your lashes’

Maybelline Lash Sensational
Sky High Waterproof
Mascara, £11.49

BEST MAKE-UP
REMOVERS
FOR

Or is it? Allow us to enlighten you…

PHOTOGRAPHY: ANGELA MARKLEW / THE LICENSING PROJECT

BY RU BY B U DDE M E YE R

Somewhere along the way, someone
started spreading this not-so-cute rumour
about my favourite beauty product. It goes
a little something like this: waterproof
mascara is super harsh and unless you
hate your eyelashes or you’re, IDK, cool
with them breaking off and falling out,
you shouldn’t be using it at all.
Yeah, scary. Except not true at all. The
stuff itself isn’t bad for your lashes – it’s
pretty much exactly like regular mascara,
with one key difference. ‘It’s anhydrous,
meaning that it doesn’t contain water,’ says
cosmetic chemist Ron Robinson, founder of
BeautyStat. Formulas made with water are
much less likely to cling to your lashes when
they come into contact with rain, sweat or
tears. Instead, waterproof mascara is made
with a combination of waxes, silicones, and/
or polymers, all of which are perfectly safe,
lash-friendly ingredients, insists Robinson.

So how did this technically harmless
product get such a bad rep? Because of
the way that some people try to take it off.
‘Scrubbing and tugging is best for getting
gum off your shoe – not mascara off your
face,’ says dermatologist Mona Gohara.
Not only can rough mascara removal mess
with your lash health, she explains, but it
can ‘traumatise your already thin eye skin,
break capillaries and worsen wrinkling’.
Also, there’s a very simple solution: an
oil-based make-up remover or cleanser,
which will easily dissolve your waterproof
mascara. Just dab a little bit on a reusable
cotton pad and – keyword – gently slide
it down your lashes until they’re nice and
clean. Follow with your regular face wash
and your mascara will be totally gone.
And that concludes this myth-busting
lesson. Thanks for listening – now, resume
living your best waterproofed lash life.

4. QUICK, RINSE-FREE
REMOVAL
Mac Lightful C³
Hydrating Micellar Water
Make-up Remover, £22

5. SENSITIVE EYES
La Roche-Posay Respectissime
Eye Waterproof Make-up
Remover, £11

6. LIGHT FACIAL
CLEANSING
Evolve Beauty Kalahari
Dream Cleansing Oil, £20

C o s m o p o l i ta n

27

ADVERTISEMENT FEATURE

Meet your

new skin
saviours
Want the ultimate dewy
glow? Nip + Fab has the
hydration hit you need

N

ip + Fab’s
effective and
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ranges have long been
favourites of beauty
editors and influencers
alike. So when the
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have it on your radar.
Enter Hyaluronic
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This unique blend
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and, if you layer the
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cruelty-free products
reported an incredible
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So bye-bye parched
skin, hello glow!

You can find the
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nipandfab.com

Hyaluronic Fix

Hyaluronic Fix

Hyaluronic Fix

Hyaluronic Fix

Hyaluronic Fix

Hyaluronic Fix

Extreme4 Cleansing
Cream, £12.95

Extreme4 Micellar
Pads, £14.95

Extreme4 Concentrate
2%, £24.95

Extreme4 Hydrating
Serum, £22.95

Extreme4 Hybrid Gel
Cream, £24.95

Extreme4 Jelly Eye
Patches, £19.95

Removing dirt and
impurities doesn’t
have to be abrasive
– this nourishing
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Want an even speedier
solution for removing
make-up? Grab a pack
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This lightweight
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Like a big glass
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There’s something
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Late night? Simply
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*WITH TWICE-DAILY USE. CLINICAL MOISTURISATION STUDY CARRIED OUT ON
21 PARTICIPANTS ON HYALURONIC FIX EXTREME4 CONCENTRATE AND SERUM

THE LINE-UP

m ove

So, does period-proof
swimwear work?
Hitting the pool or beach while on your
period can be far from ideal. Here, three
writers, with high standards and a fear of
becoming a legend down at the local leisure
centre (for all the wrong reasons), put the
latest cossie innovations to the test

PHOTOGRAPHY: MODIBODI

C O M P I L E D B Y J E N N I F E R S AV I N

M OV E

Pe r i o d s w i mwe a r

1

It seems that, somehow,
periods just innately know
the worst possible time to
kick in – usually on the first
day of your long-awaited
trip to Greece. But, luckily,
clever tech could make
things so much easier.
Several leading brands,
which have already got the
fine art of period-proof
underwear down, have now
turned their attentions to
swimwear, which they’re
so confident about they say
you’ll supposedly not need
any other sort of flow
protector in place while
wearing. But, do the resulting
bikinis and one-pieces
actually work?

1. CHEEKY WIPES
PERIOD SWIMSUIT
Price: £39.99 (from size 4 to 24)

Flow type: Cheeky Wipes
says its swimming costume
can hold up to two tampons’
worth of blood, making it
‘perfect for a light period’.
Verdict: I’ve been wearing
period pants and reusable
pads for a while now, so I was
keen to try Cheeky Wipes’
period swimsuit (side note:
yes, the name is a bit ick and
mismatched – the brand
started out making reusable
baby wipes). While I sadly
didn’t quite get to the Maldives
to test this costume, I did
head to my local pool. I loved
that the swimsuit was true to
size, with adjustable straps
to cater for bust size (I’m on
the larger end of the breast
scale), and I loved the design.
I genuinely felt good about
the way I looked in it, too,
which isn’t always the case
in swimwear, and I liked the
increased coverage with the
lower cut around the thighs.
As for the absorbency,
I felt incredibly comfortable
30

C o s m o p o l i ta n

during even my most
vigorous front crawl. There
were no leaks during my
swim, with my flow actually
being on the heavier side the
day I put it to the test. The
only downside? My crotch
felt quite heavy and loaded
with water as I headed to
the shower and I was
reluctant to wring out the
costume in the way that
I typically would do with
other swimwear, because
of the blood. Overall, though,
I loved this piece and will
definitely be packing it for
my summer break.
Isabella Silvers

2

M OV E

3

Pe r i o d s w i mwe a r

2. MODIBODI
RECYCLED SWIMWEAR
BRAZILIAN BRIEF

3. WUKA SWIM
BIKINI BRIEF
(LIGHT FLOW)

Price: £28 (from size 8 to 18;
a high-waisted option (pictured)

Price: £21.99 (from size XS to 6XL)

and a matching top are also available)

Flow type: Wuka’s light-flow
option claims to be able to
hold two small tampons’
worth of blood.
Verdict: I take beach days
very seriously. As in, they
have to be all day (that’s first
on the beach, last to leave,
people) and these briefs, I’m
pleased to say, lived up to the
challenge. Why? Both the
inner and outer materials are
super soft, making them ideal
to wear for extended periods
of time. They’re also cleverly
designed so that they offer
plenty of coverage at the
back – ideal for peace of
mind and comfort – but have
a high-leg cut at the front,
so they still look cute. No
one wants to feel like they’re
swimming in a nappy…
Equally, if you prefer your
own swimsuit or bikini, the
Wuka briefs are made from
a thin material and could
be worn underneath.
Aesthetics aside, the
briefs also more than held
their own when I put them
to the water test: I didn’t
see a single drop of blood
escape. The elastic trim
was tight without being
uncomfortable and the fit
was snug and supportive,
giving me confidence that
there was no chance of
leakage. As a big fan of
period pants already, I’ll
definitely be packing this
swim-proof pair in my
suitcase for any light-flow
days on my next holiday.

Flow type: Light to moderate
(two teaspoons of blood).
Verdict: As a ModiBodi fan,
I was excited about these briefs
– the designs feel elevated
in comparison with other
brands (which only seem to
have black options). Prior to
getting in the water, I wore
them around the house for
a couple of hours to check if
they could withstand leakage
on dry land, too – and I’m
happy to confirm they did.
But things took a turn when
I submerged myself into bath
water. It instantly turned a
yellowy-brown colour as it
mixed with the fresh and
dried blood (soz, tmi, but
we’re all friends here, right?).
However, the swimwear
likely wasn’t to blame. Since
getting the copper IUD fitted,
my periods have become a
lot heavier and I probably
underestimated what I was
working with on trial day.
Also, when it comes to sizing,
I’m usually between a 10 and
a 12 and, on this occasion,
I opted for a ‘medium’ brief,
which was a tad baggy.
When ModiBodi sent me a
smaller size to re-trial, things
went a lot smoother (and
my period wasn’t as heavy).
Plus, I found out post-test that
you should wash the briefs
first to ‘activate the gusset
technology’ (which I hadn’t
done originally). So, all in
all: enjoy the great designs,
check the sizing and follow
the instructions and you’ll
be a-okay (there are tons
of glowing reviews on the
ModiBodi site that outweigh
my experience, too).

Emily Gulla
For more period-proof reviews, head
to cosmopolitan.com/uk/periodpants

Jennifer Savin

C o s m o p o l i ta n

31

Your guide to
getting really
good LGBTQIA+
healthcare
It’s tough and we can’t change the
entire system, but there are steps
you can take to make healthcare
appointments easier…
WORDS JAKE HALL

32

C o s m o p o l i ta n

M OV E

F

orget the supposedly soothing (but actually
immensely irritating) holding music, your
GP surgery may as well play the Gladiators
or Hunger Games soundtrack, as it would
more accurately reflect the 8.30am
scramble to land a doctor’s appointment these days.
May the odds forever be in your favour… But seriously,
healthcare professionals are now being stretched
to their limits by the brutal combination of chronic
underfunding and overwhelming demand, and it has
had a real knock-on effect on how – and when – we
can receive the treatment we need.
And while everyone
has been hit by this,
the lack of access to
healthcare can be
particularly tough for the
LGBTQIA+ community.
of trans
And even if we can
people
said they
jump the hurdles and
were refused
access the care we need,
GP care
we’re still sometimes
confronted with illinformed stereotypes,
a lack of education and
excessive gatekeeping, especially when it comes to
trans healthcare. We might luck out and find a GP that
fully understands our needs, but we could also get
stuck with someone who misgenders us repeatedly.
This can all result in a distrust of health services
within the queer community, which can lead to
skipping much-needed appointments. This has
(among other factors) led to an LGBTQIA+ health
gap. Systemic inequalities can’t be eroded overnight
– and it’s not the responsibility
of queer people to fix the system
– but knowledge is power,
and healthcare is essential.
That’s why we’ve rounded up
everything you need to know
about navigating mental illness,
sexual wellness and genderaffirming healthcare for those
within the LGBTQIA+ community.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MATTHEW ROHARIK/GALLERY STOCK; STOCKSY. *SOURCE: TRANSACTUAL.ORG.UK

14%

Health

for Trans Health also keep regularly updated, crowd-sourced
Google Sheets of trans-friendly GPs. Sites like Reddit and Facebook
are full of queer discussion groups, so even googling your local
area plus the term ‘trans-friendly GP’ will often lead to honest,
no-frills reviews from other queer people in your local area – though
these will not have been
reviewed for accuracy and
will vary in credibility, so
exercise caution.
It can also really
help to just scope out
your prospective GP’s
website. As a first port of
call, check if they have an
LGBTQIA+ information
area on their site. Want
to go a step further?
You can check their
credentials: some GPs
and healthcare services
will have a Pride in
Practice gold certificate,
which shows that they
were part of a quality
assurance programme
dedicated to helping
them meet the needs
of their queer patients.
‘Pride in Practice is a
programme run by a
charity called the LGBT
Foundation that looks
to upskill staff across
general practice and
covers training in aspects of LGBTQIA+
healthcare and encourages sexual orientation
and trans status monitoring [at registration],’
explains Alison May Berner, specialty doctor
in adult gender identity medicine. While this
isn’t available in all of the UK, there are other
things to keep an eye out for. ‘Looking at GP
practices that have been involved with any kind
of LGBT activism can be helpful. It might be that
they don’t have Pride in Practice in their area, but they’re clearly
involved with the community in other ways,’ Dr Berner continues.

Finding a GP you feel
comfortable with is
absolutely vital – it
shouldn’t be a luxury

The search for a GP
Mental health support

Finding a GP you feel comfortable with is absolutely
vital – and shouldn’t be a luxury. You can visit sites like
gp-patient.co.uk, which collates patients’ ratings, for
a ranking of the most trustworthy NHS practitioners
across England. Trans-led organisations such as Action

In July last year, NHS Digital compiled its first LGB report, which
showed that 16% of LGB people live with a ‘mental, behavioural
or neurodevelopmental disorder,’ compared with 6% of straight
people. It might feel daunting, but speaking to a GP about

C o s m o p o l i ta n

33

Speaking to a GP
about your struggles
and being honest can
yield positive results

34

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Trans healthcare

There’s no one way to be trans.
Some people don’t ever require
gender-affirming healthcare in the
form of hormones and surgeries,
but for those who do, the first step
is to discuss gender with your GP.
Usually, this initial chat will result in a referral to
a gender identity clinic (GIC) or a gender identity
development service (GIDS) if you’re under 16 years
old. If a GP refuses, patients are entitled to request
an appointment with another practitioner, as they
would in any other scenario. The General Medical
Council also released in-depth guidelines outlining
ethical standards of competent trans healthcare,
which you can refer to if you feel you’ve been failed.
GICs and GIDS are the go-to hubs for genderaffirming healthcare across the UK. According to
NHS guidelines, there should be a maximum wait of
18 weeks between referral and first appointment. In
reality, the waiting times vary significantly between
clinics, with information compiled by Gender
Construction Kit in April 2022 suggesting that they
can range between three and 68 months long.
According to GenderGP, you can now self-refer
to some GICs and their
website has a template
letter on how to do
so. Please check if the
GIC nearest you will
accept a self-referral
and note that this is
of LGB adults report a
intended to speed up
mental, behavioural or
the process. However,
neurodevelopmental
you’re still required to
disorder
be registered with a GP
and may still require
their involvement in
helping with the medical assessment. While you wait
for your appointment, there are steps you can take.
Clinicians will often ask for proof that you’ve socially
transitioned (that you’ve come out to people and
taken steps to live in your ‘true’ gender), so work
references or a name change document can be useful
evidence to gather in advance and bring along when
the time comes. At your appointment, you’ll meet
with medical professionals to decide whether or not a
diagnosis of gender dysphoria, described by the NHS as
a ‘sense of unease that a person may have a mismatch
between their biological sex and their gender identity’,
is applicable. Not all trans people experience this,

16%

*VISIT NHS.UK/SERVICE-SEARCH/MENTAL-HEALTH/FIND-A-PSYCHOLOGICAL-THERAPIES-SERVICE/FIND-YOUR-GP

your struggles and being honest about
their root causes – which may be tied to
LGBTQIA+ discrimination, such as your
experience of hate crime or prejudice in
the workplace – can yield positive results.
What comes next? Well, some will
prescribe medication, whereas others
will refer you to NHS counselling
services known as IAPT (improving access to psychological
therapies), although you can also self-refer online* .
At the bare minimum, you should feel listened to and cared
for. If you don’t, you’re well within your rights to complain (more
on this later) and switch surgeries or GPs. NHS guidelines state
a maximum waiting time of 18 weeks to access support, but this
can stretch out longer due to high demand.
While it can be
difficult for the NHS
to provide counselling
that is targeted towards
LGBTQIA+ individuals,
there are other options
out there. ‘There are
charity provisions
for counselling for
LGBTQIA+ people, such
as Spectra, which has a
number of providers
[for trans and nonbinary individuals],’
reassures Dr Berner.
The NHS website is
also packed full of
recommendations, from
specialist hotlines such
as Mindline Trans+ to
organisations such as
Akt and Stonewall,
which both offer mental
health support among
other services.
Some organisations
are more specific, such
as mental health charity
London Friend’s free counselling for LGBTQIA+ victims of
domestic abuse, or Antidote, an organisation that offers support
to LGBTQIA+ people who find themselves struggling to deal with
drug and alcohol dependency. And finally, while not everyone is in
a position to afford private therapy, services such as PinkTherapy
– which offers a list of queer-friendly therapists, many of whom
offer sliding-scale rates – can help to narrow the search fields
for those who are able to pay for sessions.

M OV E

Health

*FROM 25 TO 49, YOU SHOULD BE OFFERED A CERVICAL SCREENING EVERY THREE YEARS

How to complain

but you’ll need a diagnosis in order
to access hormones or, later down
the line, gender-affirming surgeries.
As for hormones, the changes
depend on what you want and what
dosage you need. If you’re a trans
guy, it’s likely you’ll start taking
testosterone, which redistributes
body fat, causes body-hair growth,
and deepens your voice, among
other changes. Trans women are
generally prescribed a testosterone
blocker and oestrogen. After you
start taking them, you may notice
redistribution of body fat, softening
of your body hair and breast growth.
It’s likely your sex drive will decrease,
and your penis will soften, too.
Non-binary people might want
to use hormones, but this looks
different for everyone. If this does
apply to you, think about what
physical changes would alleviate
your dysphoria, or bring your gender
presentation closer to your gender
identity. You can, for example, ask
to microdose hormones, which will
provide more gradual changes.
Accessing these services might
sound like a daunting process, but it
can be helpful for trans individuals
in broader ways, especially as an
official gender dysphoria diagnosis
is one of the steps in the standard
route towards obtaining a Gender
Recognition Certificate, which
will help your gender be legally
recognised and can help you
get documents and ID (such as a
passport) that reflect who you are.
And remember, the trans community
– and all of the trans charities and
advocacy groups that serve it – have
your back and are tirelessly pushing
to improve the system.

Remember: the 2010 Equality Act
makes it illegal to discriminate
against someone for any
protected characteristic, gender
and sexuality included.

queer-friendly they are. Does the website
use inclusive language? Is there awareness of
HIV prevention or any mention of the HIV
prevention drug PrEP?
If an in-person appointment sounds
If you wish to lodge a complaint
intimidating, you can order an at-home STI
against a GP, you can find details
test. Tests provided for free for over-16s by
of the GP practice manager and
Sh.UK are simple and effective – but if you’d
complain to them directly.
prefer to speak to someone face-to-face or
Sh.UK isn’t in your area (you can check at sh.uk/
where), sexual health clinics are your best bet.
Use the NHS website to find
HIV education has come on leaps and
a PALS – a Patient and Liaison
bounds thanks to the tireless work of activists
Service – who will talk you
worldwide and now, in the UK, PrEP is available
through the process and help
on the NHS to anyone who wants it. All you
you complain.
need to do is book a sexual health check-up
and mention you’re interested in it and,
theoretically, it should be given to you without
The General Medical Council’s
any intrusive questions asked.
(GMC) LGBT+ healthcare
The myth that you’re not at risk of
standards are a brilliant resource,
contracting sexually transmitted HPV (human
and you can also complain
papillomavirus) if you don’t have sex with cis
directly to the GMC using the
men is just that – a myth. HPV is a virus that can
‘Concerns’ page of its website.
lead to genital warts and cell changes that can
cause cancer, and is linked to cervical cancer
in particular. While it’s on the decline thanks
For wider, institutional issues,
to vaccinations in schools, LGB women should
such as access inequality and
consider getting cervical screening tests and,
inadequate training, your best
according to the LGBT Foundation, you can
bet is to find out which clinical
request a smaller speculum if you’ve never
commissioning group (CCG)
had penetrative sex before. According to the
oversees your area by searching
Vaginismus Network, pain relief medication
the CCG Directory online.
such as diazepam and longer appointment
times are available to those with a vaginismus
diagnosis, so call ahead to let GPs know exactly
Groups like Action for Trans
what you need.
Health and TransActual can offer
Trans men registered as male with their
invaluable advice on how
GP won’t be automatically called for cervical
to phrase your complaint.
screening tests, but they’re still entitled to
them* if they haven’t undergone a hysterectomy,
as are non-binary, transmasculine people. Call
your GP to get booked in – and if you’re worried
about what to say, there are plenty of experienceled groups, such as the Facebook group Trans Masculine
Support and Advice UK, and trans subreddits that can help.
Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust also has an in-depth, experience-led
Sexual health
guide for transmasculine people navigating the world of cervical
screening, created in partnership with the LGBT Foundation.
All it takes is a quick online search of ‘NHS find a sexual
The LGBTQIA+ health gap can feel overwhelming, but once
health clinic’ to find your local sexual health clinic,
you have the facts and know where to look for help, it begins to
and it’s worth having a scan through the services
feel a bit more manageable – especially when there are charities
offered at your prospective clinic to figure out how
and advocacy groups looking to change the system for the better.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

35

M OV E

Fitness goals... that
have absolutely F-all
to do with weight
Keen to set yourself a summer challenge that’ll leave
you feeling good? Same. Here, three top PTs share the
targets they encourage their clients to get stuck into…
B Y J E N N I F E R S AV I N

FALL IN LOVE
WITH EXERCISE
‘I ask people to move
away from weight-loss
goals and to focus on
developing a positive
relationship with exercise
instead,’ explains Hollie
Grant, founder of The
Pilates PT Method. ‘This
can initially be challenging
as they’re so used to
having numbers to hit
and something physical to
work towards.’ So many of
us exercise to lose weight,
punish ourselves for
overeating or as a control
method, she says, whereas
really, exercise ought to
have a much greater,
emotional purpose. ‘Ask
yourself if you truly enjoy
the fitness classes you
attend, or whether you’re
just going to them for the
“results” that have been
promised – if you don’t
have fun in your classes,
why on earth are you
attending them?’
GO FOR IT: Try a new
type of exercise each week
until you find The One. ‘If
you hate spin classes, stop
spinning. Find a regime
that gets you excited,’
Grant adds. ‘You might
have to think outside of
the box – for me, I love
bouldering. It challenges
my mind as much as my
body, it’s sociable and
welcomes bodies of all
shapes and sizes. I crave
it when I’m not doing it,
so I know it’s right for me.’

PHOTOGRAPHY: STOCKSY

MOVE YOUR
BODY EVERY DAY
While it’s important not
to overdo things and risk
injury (eg, by undertaking
a hardcore HIIT session
every morning), aiming to
do some physical activity
each day will boost not
only your general fitness
levels, but likely your
mood, too. ‘Use a health
app such as Strava,
MyFitnessPal or Apple
Health to track your daily
movement and exercise
to become accountable

Fi t n e s s g o a l s

for yourself,’ suggests
James Stark, a personal
trainer and co-founder
of Starks Fitness gyms.
GO FOR IT: Challenge
yourself to a ‘month of
movement’, or pledge to
avoid being a total couch
potato on your rest days.
‘Reduce the lull days,
where you usually wouldn’t
move much at all, by
setting a notification
encouraging you to get
up and move about,’ says
Stark. Going for a short
walk, having a dance
around your bedroom or
taking a bike ride all count
– your bod and your mind
will thank you for it.

PLAY WITH
YOUR RUN TIMES
‘Non-aesthetic goals
have the potential to
be more rewarding and
longer lasting than purely
aesthetic-focused ones,’
says Hannah Lewin, a
women-focused PT and
founder of Mind+Motion.
‘To run your 5K and 10K in
a faster time, running the
distance once a week or so
will help your body adapt
to the mileage and build
up endurance levels.’ If
you’re a total newbie, don’t
focus on speed initially,
just get the hang of
breathing (in through the
nose, out through the
mouth) and keeping your
shoulders back and down.
GO FOR IT: Aim to beat
your 5K time every five
to six weeks, by 20 to
40 seconds per go, says
Lewin. ‘While it may not
seem a lot, 40 seconds off
a best-effort run is a great
achievement!’ If focusing
on the timing feels like too
much pressure – or just
plain dull – you could also
experiment with pushing
out of your comfort zone
by running a longer
distance each time. Even
an extra 100 metres will
feel mighty fine.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

37

M OV E

Nutrition

Become a protein bar pro
They look tasty, but what are protein bars actually made of? And when’s the
best time to munch one? We asked registered nutritionist Clarissa Lenherr to
debunk the myths surrounding your favourite gym vending-machine snack
B Y J E N N I F E R S AV I N

IF I EAT A PROTEIN BAR
EVERY DAY, WILL I GET
BULGING BICEPS?

WHEN EXACTLY SHOULD
YOU EAT A PROTEIN BAR?
Ever heard that you need to eat
protein immediately after your
workout, otherwise it won’t ‘count’?
That’s not strictly true, but there is
an optimal window, as Lenherr
reveals. ‘There’s a timeframe of
around four hours post-working out
in which our muscles are most
receptive to protein,’ she explains.
‘Aim to eat your protein bar one
to two hours post-exercise.’
Scoffing one prior to exercising can
be beneficial. ‘Make sure to give
yourself an hour to digest, more if
it’s a high-fibre protein bar. Fibre
takes longer to break down; no one
wants a protein bar sat in their
stomach while they’re working out.’

Not exactly, says Lenherr. She
advises against eating them daily,
but adds that protein is needed for
building muscle (alongside strength
training workouts). ‘Our diets
should be as diverse as possible,
with macronutrients coming from
a variety of food sources,’ she notes,
stressing the importance of whole
foods (such as eggs, vegetables,
fruits, nuts, grains and legumes).
‘But if protein bars are one of the
only ways you can fit in a protein
source, they can be a good
addition to your daily intake.’ Don’t
overdo it: Lenherr advises that
high amounts of protein can put
stress on the kidneys. ‘Aim for
roughly 0.8g to 1g of protein per
day, per kg of body weight.’

KNOW YOUR
INGREDIENTS
It’s a good idea to understand
what’s in your food. Here are some
common additions, decoded.

PHOTOGRAPHY: LUCKY IF SHARP

CAN A PROTEIN BAR
REPLACE A MEAL?
It’s always preferable to eat a
healthy, balanced diet when you
can, rather than regularly relying on
substitute snacks. Plus, there are so
many types of bars that it can get
confusing. Energy bars contain
high-calorie ingredients that
deliver fuel to keep you going
through the day; protein bars are
intended as a pre- or post-workout
supplement to offer additional
protein; and meal replacement
bars are a combination of both (not
intended as a substitute for regular
meals but used if you’re time poor).
Back to protein bars: Lenherr says
it’s actually better to eat little bits of
protein throughout the day, rather
than bulking up via one meal alone
(top tip: chicken, yoghurt, lentils and
fish are all great sources, if you are
getting your cook on!). But a protein
bar can be a great way to get
a little boost in, especially if
you’re out and about.

INULIN
A type of soluble fibre that works
to support gut health, it’s added to
bars to act as a binder and natural
sweetener. But be mindful that too
much can cause an upset stomach.
XYLITOL, SORBITOL, MALTITOL
Avoid bars with too many of these
sugar alcohols, aka polyols. They
can upset your stomach and cause
a laxative effect. This is especially
important to note if you have IBS.
CARRAGEENAN
This seaweed derivative, used as
an emulsifier, has been known to
cause intestinal irritation. Always
check the label for it if you suspect
that it’s a problem for you.

!
TIP

Still flummoxed? Look for a bar with whey
and pea proteins, with at least 3g fibre per
serving. Avoid if sugar, high-fructose corn
syrup or sucrose is the main ingredient.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

39

style

The only trends that
matter this season
Prepare yourself for a pattern,
texture and colour revolution

C o s m o p o l i ta n

41

ST Y L E

S u m m e r t re n d s

Dress
£49.99, Mango

Dress
£79, House of Sunny

Ring
£49, Sandralexandra

BRANDON
MAXWELL

Shirt
£229, Baum und
Pferdgarten

Bikini top, £10,
bottoms, £10,
both Monki

PHILOSOPHY

Skirt
£19.99, Pull&Bear

T H E TR EN D

Waves
Trousers
£16, George at Asda

42

C o s m o p o l i ta n

A sea of designs that belong in both
a museum and your wardrobe

Top
£18, Hollister

ST Y L E

S u m m e r t re n d s

STELLA
MCCARTNEY

Sunglasses
£17.99, Mango

Sports bra
£25, Gilly Hicks

Earrings
£5.99, Pull&Bear

Top
£89, Whistles

ACNE
STUDIOS

Necklace
£24, Free People

Bag
£79, Arket

REJINA PYO

T H E TR EN D

T-shirt
£32, The North Face

Go green
Shoes
£30, Monki

From citrus-y lime to pistachio, this is the
sweetest shade of the summer

Top, £210,
skirt, £135,
both Rezek Studio

C o s m o p o l i ta n

43

ST Y L E

S u m m e r t re n d s

KORS

Hat
£45, Loeffler Randall

Top
£19, Hollister

Top, £119,
skirt, £179,
both Baum und
Pferdgarten

MSGM

Top
£275, Shrimps

Shoes
£75, Vans

Shoes
£390, Loeffler Randall
Skirt
£35.99, Mango

PRABAL
GURUNG

T H E TR EN D

Gingham
Playsuit
£29.99, Bershka

44

C o s m o p o l i ta n

2022’s take is just a wee bit louder than
your typical picnic

Trousers
£35, Hollister

ST Y L E

S u m m e r t re n d s

REJINA PYO

Top
£95, Ganni

Dress
£295, Shrimps

WORDS: MEGAN UY; CHLOE MEYZGER; ANDREA ZENDEJAS; SOPHIE LEEN. PHOTOGRAPHY: KEIRNAN MONAGHAN; THEO VAMVOUNAKIS. STYLING: REBECCA
BARTOSHESKY AT HELLO ARTISTS. MANICURE: HONEY AT EXPOSURE NY. MODEL: MEISHA AT PARTS MODELS. RUNWAY IMAGES: IMAXTREE; GETTY IMAGES

ERDEM

Skirt
£30, Weekday

Trousers
£180, Holzweiler

Bag
£38, Wolf & Gypsy
Vintage
BRANDON
MAXWELL

T H E TR EN D

Top
£205, Pleats Please
Issey Miyake at
matchesfashion.com

Pleats
Skirt
£118, Rails

This season is all about pressed fabrics. Whether
it’s a Y2K miniskirt or a structured top, pleat it

Skirt
£29, Hollister

C o s m o p o l i ta n

45

Just a list of cute
new jewellery
brands that
should 100% be
on your radar
1.

LA MANSO

A treasure trove of on-trend
Y2K-inspired resin rings of joy.
@la_manso
2.

BONDEYE JEWELRY

Dig a thick statement ring?
Us, too. Major big ring energy.
@bondeyejewelry
6.
3.

MARGAUX STUDIOS

Lots of stunning handmade
pearly creations.
@margauxstudios

7.
4.

FRY POWERS

Just try to resist any of these
rainbow cuties. (You can’t.)
@frypowers

SANDRALEXANDRA

Taking risks = wearing
incredible glass rings.
@sandralexandra_studio

OMA THE LABEL

Chunky gold chains and
timeless hoops galore.
@omathelabel

VANESSA
SCHINDLER

ISA.COLLECTION

Pretty pieces perfect for
your inner mermaid.
@isacollection__

You’ll heart her shoulderdusting chain earrings.
@vanessa_schindler
9.

ISSHĪ

Big ol’ shells for summer?
Yes, pls. (Pictured right)
@isshi.us

46

C o s m o p o l i ta n

WORDS: SOPHIE LEEN. PHOTO COURTESY OF ISSHI

8.
5.

ST Y L E

So are we here for the
practically-no-buttcoverage swimwear
trend or no?
Much like your cheeks may be, these
Cosmopolitan staffers are divided

PHOTOGRAPHY: COURTESY OF KAYLA DELGADO

Psst: a lot of suits
these days skew
thong-y. Peep one
on a model before
buying to see
exactly what kind of
coverage you’ll get

D e b a te

I’M
SCEPTICAL

I’M
SOLD

I am 100% here
for any trend that
makes people feel
gorge – we all
deserve to wear
whatever makes
us feel confident,
especially when
it comes to
swimwear. But
something about
even looking at
this style makes
the mum-friend
in me pop out.
The second-hand
discomfort alone I
get from imagining
there’s only a
piece of dental
floss between my
sphincter and the
rest of the world
is very, very real.
And don’t get
me started on
what happens
when you sit
down – have we
learned nothing
over the past two
years about
keeping public
surfaces sanitary?
So, yeah, in case
it wasn’t already
clear, I’m sticking
to swimwear that
requires a lot less
upkeep in the
waxing/shaving
department
and has the
surface area
for a lot more
cute designs.

I joined team
#FreeYourCheeks
on a trip to Rio
a few years back.
Everyone on
Copacabana
Beach was
thriving in a bootyout environment,
and it was inspo
enough for me to
give the trend a
try. ‘Twas then that
I understood what
the entirety of
Brazil already
knows: less fabric
= less bikini
sagging, less
drying time and
less sand youknow-where.
(I mean, it does
get in, but with
barely any fabric,
not as much gets
trapped.) Less
wedgie potential,
too. Okay, yes, the
style is in itself a
wedgie, but you’re
not constantly
pulling it out. This
all means I end up
not paying much
attention to my
suit, which boosts
my confidence.
That’s why it’s
minimal coverage
for me this
summer – and
every summer
from now on.
Lauren Balsamo

Katie Czerwinski

C o s m o p o l i ta n

47

Finding pride in our style
No one harnesses the unique power of self-expression through style quite like the
queer community. One scroll through TikTok reveals an array of boundary-pushing
fashion that is deeply personal to each wearer’s story. This Pride Month, we speak to
six people from the UK’s LGBTQIA+ community about style, self-expression and identity
A S T O L D T O M A D DY A L F O R D

48

C o s m o p o l i ta n

ST Y L E

A

Pride

s a fashion writer, I’ve always marvelled at how personal style can communicate wordlessly on our behalf. Think about
it: anyone could scope out the popular kids or the indie crowd at school, thanks to a tiny logo on a shirt, or a certain pair
of trainers. But in the queer community, style is a silent form of social coding that can express (or repress) one’s identity.
Some people embrace or reject historical stereotypes, while others forge new paths not yet explored. Here, some of
the UK’s most prominent queer voices talk about how style has intertwined with their sense of self over the years.

‘I realised there was a
femme side I had repressed’

‘There are so many “trending”
queer style markers on TikTok’

Artist and creator Darkwah Kyei-Darkwah believes that
self-expression helps us connect with each other more easily.
@hausofdarkwah

Simone Murphy, a DJ and model from Edinburgh who rose
to fame on Britain’s Next Top Model, came out as bisexual
to her 185,000+ social media followers during the pandemic.
She describes her style as a mix of charity-shop finds and
classic staples, influenced by subcultures around the world.
@sim0ne

‘I grew up queer in a traditional Ghanaian family and learned
to experiment with clothing in very subtle ways at first. I identify
as non-binary, with they/ them pronouns, and so I just flow very
freely between the binaries. My parents were both into fashion, so
I could get away with wearing pink, lavender and mint green, even
though they were on more masculine garments. It felt like a way
to express myself when people didn’t necessarily understand me.
When I was 19, I worked at a luxury store and had to wear a
black suit. To feel more me, I’d wear a pink tie and pink silk socks.
Back then, I had a more masculine look: a shaved head, a beard
and trousers with a nicely polished shoe. But I began to see that
self-expression is your truth. If I’m not expressing myself, I’m
lying. If you’re being yourself, it’s easier to connect with others;
you don’t have to break down any walls. I realised when I started
growing my hair that there was a side of me that I had repressed,
like this… femme side. I’ve grown my nails long, and now I feel like
my arms are complete. And the longer the hair, the more articulate
the movement – you feel like you’re moving through water. That’s
how I want to feel all the time. I want to feel like I’m floating.’

‘I felt I could be a lot more queer-presenting after I came out.
So I did that thing where I went and got the gayest haircut you
could possibly have… the mullet. I feel like the beauty of being
queer in your twenties is that you almost feel like a teenager again,
because you’re getting to fully explore that part of yourself that
maybe you weren’t so comfortable with before.
On TikTok, you see so many “trending” queer-style identifiers
– ugly jumpers, Dr. Martens boots, silver hardware jewellery and
even cuffed jeans from a couple of years ago. But I still often
dress in a very feminine way. I’ll wear a really girly dress, just
with chunky shoes.
If I’m in big platforms and my big jacket, I don’t find that
as many men harass me inappropriately. But then, when I go to
a gay bar in London, I’m like, “Oh, let me do bimbocore for the
night,” and I’ll dress up in an ultra-femme way, knowing that I’m
not being hypersexualised in that space.’

C o s m o p o l i ta n

49

Pride

‘Wearing pink as a
lesbian feels powerful’

‘At what point are you
going to choose yourself?’

Eleanor Medhurst runs a lesbian fashion history blog called
Dressing Dykes. Her outfits always involve pink – she even
wrote her undergraduate thesis on the colour.
@elliemedhurst

Tanya Compas is a youth worker, content creator and
founder of Exist Loudly. She describes her style as ‘a mix
between a lad and a hun’, and has been embracing a more
masculine approach to dressing lately.
@tanyacompas

‘Pink is tied up with ideas of gender roles and heterosexuality,
and in capitalism as well, with things such as children’s toys and
women’s products. That was a push from marketing forces to try
to sell more things, because they could sell a different product to
a woman than to a man. As a lesbian or queer woman, taking on
this colour parodies those ideas and gender roles. In the queer
community, if pink is associated with anyone, it’s with gay men.
So, for me, I think that it’s powerful to wear it as a lesbian instead.
As a historian, I always look at how others in my community
dress to reflect themselves. Clothing is a way for us to speak
when we’re not able to use our voices. That’s particularly true
in historical contexts where you couldn’t safely be out as gay, but
in modern ones, too. Gay women in the 1920s often wore violet
pins, as a nod to the [6th-century, presumed queer] poet Sappho.
Small symbols like that acted as a little wink to others in the
know but flew under the radar of their heteronormative peers.
Queer style isn’t always about signalling, though. Sometimes,
it’s about dressing for your authentic self, rather than trying to
be read by other people.’

50

C o s m o p o l i ta n

‘I’ve always been a tomboy. My mum used to buy me boxers
when I was a kid, and until I was 11 years old, I only wore boy’s
clothing. But as my teen years arrived, I began to feel ashamed of
dressing that way. I started to feminise myself. I started to wear
make-up, because I thought, “that’s what women do”.
My masculine side soon became reserved only for sport, and
outside of that, I felt as though I had to be feminine. I used to
watch what everyone else was wearing, rather than ask, “what
do I feel comfortable in?” Back then, a lot of my validation was
through the approval of men. And then, when I came out as
gay, I started dressing even more feminine, because I didn’t want
to make it obvious I was gay. Looking back, I felt shame and I
wanted to hold on to the privilege that came with still being read
as straight by strangers.
It’s only in the past three years that I’ve gradually become
more confident in expressing my masculinity. Now, my default
is men’s clothing, but I’ll still wear a crop top or make-up if I feel
like it – and not because I feel pressured to.’

PHOTOGRAPHY: (DARKWAH) JACK NEWMAN; (TANYA) TOLU ELUSADÉ; ALL OTHER PHOTOS COURTESY OF SUBJECTS

ST Y L E

ST Y L E

Pride

‘Self-expression is a
beautiful and powerful gift’

‘There’s not a single skirt
or dress in my wardrobe’

Ben Pechey, a writer, consultant and digital creator, describes
their style as a ‘1990s British children’s TV presenter on acid’.
Their latest project, The Book Of Non-Binary Joy, aims to give
younger generations the language to express themselves.
@benpechey

Laura Kirwan-Ashman, a writer and film director in London,
describes their style as being ‘on the masculine end of the
spectrum’. Laura is inspired by 1970s Bruce Springsteen,
Americana workwear and the K-pop band BTS.
@laurak_a

‘Growing up as a queer person in a small village, I was bullied
from age 10 to 16, every single day. You see other people out in the
world wearing stuff you’d die for, but you just can’t yet. Then I went
to a fashion uni and there was a large pocket of queer kids. I felt
free, and so my exploration of self-expression began. You’re finally
in control of your life, and suddenly, the way you dress says
everything about your gender, sexuality and stance on the world.
And it’s exciting. You can take 50% of who a person is from how
they dress when they do it in a way that expresses their queerness.
‘I’m all about being colourful, with lots of layers, pattern
clashes and just joy for dressing. One day I’ll be wearing an amazing
trouser suit, and the next, a huge frilly dress. From an outside
perspective, that would probably be classed as feminine, but for
me, my body exists outside of gender. It’s fun, like code-switching
my identity through the silly bits of fabric I put on my body.
Difference is a good part of society – it makes all of us more
successful. It makes being a human a little bit easier. Even if you
don’t understand it, just allow people to be who they are.’

‘I definitely dressed in a more feminine way when I was younger,
but that gradually changed throughout my late twenties. I was
single for the first time, and becoming part of this DIY and film
collective scene in London. There were a lot of Black women,
people of colour and queer people who were doing really cool
and interesting things. The shift in my social circles organically
led to a gradual examination of my identity.
Now, there’s not a single skirt or dress in my wardrobe, and
I can’t imagine ever wearing those things again. For me, selfexpression can partly be about signalling to other people – a way
of saying “I’m queer” or “I’m into this kind of thing”. You can scan
a crowd and notice someone with a certain haircut, or a certain
pair of shoes, and think that that might be a “safe” or interesting
person to befriend. I think it’s a really useful and human thing
that we do – it’s like finding your tribe.’
IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IN THE LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY NEED SUPPORT,
HELP OR ADVICE, VISIT STONEWALL.ORG.UK OR CALL 0800 050 2020

C o s m o p o l i ta n

51

re l a x
Help – I’m
always late!
What happens when you try
to turn yourself into an early
person? One writer, who is
never on time, tried it out…
BY ALICE S NAPE

M AY/J U N E 2 02 2

C o s m o p o l i ta n

53

I ’m a l wa y s l a te

‘OMG sooooo sorry, on my way now, I promise.’
If you have ever received this message from me, I’m
sorry. I was lying. Yep, I’m that person, messaging you
while you’re already where we’d planned to meet. As
for me? I’m most likely WhatsApping, knickers round
my ankles as I sit on the loo putting my lippie on.
I have every intention of leaving. Although, I just need
to find my keys. And pack my bag. And get changed,
as – FFS – I suddenly hate what I’m wearing…
I’ve missed the beginning of a friend’s wedding,
trailing in at the back as she walked down the aisle.
Sweat pooling in my armpits, mouthing ‘sorry’ at
anyone daring to look at me and not the bride. Every
time I’m at the airport they will call my name over
the tannoy while I’m idly sniffing random perfumes
at Duty Free. I’ve watched infinite numbers of trains
pull away from me as I scream into the empty void
of a platform: Why am I like this?
I don’t mean to be late. I always allow myself lots
of time. It’s just that somehow, I manage to fill it –
and then some. I fill my hours like I fill my flat, with
all the stuff. I love the stuff. And more, it’s not that
I don’t believe in time – I know that it rules our worlds –
but I can’t fully grasp it. Why is it that hours sometimes
slip by in seconds, and why does a week sometimes
feel like a year? But I can no longer fight it. My lateness
may have been charming at university (perhaps I was
kidding myself), but now it’s costing me money (so
much rebooked transport!) and relationships (my
punctual friends have stopped inviting me places and
my husband is threatening divorce – okay, that may
be a slight dramatisation), so I decided to set myself
a challenge: could I change? And become… gasp…
an early person? I set myself (with an expert’s help)
some tasks to find out.
Task one: Find out your late style

It turns out the chronically late (aka me) are late for
a reason (no – we’re not blaming our late buses). It’s
because we all have a late trait – for example, those
who think they’re superior, those who’re struggling,
some who get caught in the drama – which all link
back to something deeper; it's an unconscious way of
trying to speak. There are those who are late because
they simply don’t want to be there (more on this later)
and then those, like me, who have an ‘anxious late
style’. Or so says Jodie Cariss, therapist and founder
of Self Space, who explains that my constant lateness
and the distress it causes me (I’m always in a flap
and feeling guilty) is a form of self-sabotage. Cariss
says that to truly succeed in my experiment I should
trial various tactics for two weeks – but for myself,
rather than for others. ‘Experience being in charge,’
she advises. ‘It’s mastery over your own life.’ I do want
to be in control, and not feel like I’m spiralling every
single time I leave the house. It sounds appealing.
But figuring that out is the easy part…

54

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Task two: Put your essentials in one place

I can never find my keys. Cariss tells me I
might be deflecting my anxiety on to those
elusive little f***ers. ‘If you’re worrying
about where your keys are,’ says Cariss,
‘you’re not tuning into the anxiety you’re
feeling about leaving the house.’ What it
always seems to come back to is that I’m a
total homebody who hates leaving the safe,
snuggly cocoon of my bedroom and my
dog. Cariss tells me I’m colluding with the
drama, and actually creating it to distract
myself from my worry about leaving my
bubble. She tells me that I need to employ
the simplest of tactics to minimise this
drama… essentially, I need to find places
to put all my stuff.
Listen, when you put stuff in one place,
that’s always where you’ll find it. I know,
I know. Mind-blowing, isn’t it? People (my
husband) have told me this before. ‘Yeah,
yeah, yeah,’ I’ll say, as he picks up my keys

My lateness may
have been charming
at university, but now
it’s costing me money
and relationships
from inside the fridge. But it works. For
the past two weeks, I have been putting
my keys in a pot in the kitchen when I get
home. I have to concentrate really hard
when I come in and not just put them down
on the bed, in the bathroom, by the kitchen
sink or wherever else they land. And it’s
starting to become a habit. The old me
would get home and shove her bag in a
corner, contents and all. Now I carefully
empty it out, putting all my stuff in one
place. Without the drama of finding all my
belongings, my anxiety about leaving the
house has actually minimised.
Task three: Choose outfits the night before

Surely, every single one of us has found
ourselves standing over a pile of discarded
outfits, frantically searching for that pair
of earrings that will complete the look.
Right? I do this all the time and end up
settling on something I still don’t like. ‘It’s
so stressful, because we know we haven’t

GUTTER CREDIT

RELAX

got enough time to fully decide what we
want, so that pressures us into wearing
something we don’t feel comfy in,’ explains
Cariss. ‘Simplify your wardrobe. Get rid
of everything you don’t like. Every little
decision you make will save you decisiontime later.’ So I spend an evening trying on
combinations of outfits. Figuring out what
I want to keep and which items work with
each other. Then I won’t have to do that
in the space of 15 minutes before I need
to leave the house.
I also carve out some dedicated time
the night before I have to be somewhere to
pick out an entire outfit. I try it on, imagine
how I will do my hair and consider what
earrings work with it. I think about all the
things I have to do that day. And imagine
myself doing all those things wearing the
outfit that I’ve just picked out. It’s actually
made me start to enjoy my clothes again
– and it means I no longer lose an hour of
time to my indecisiveness.
Task four: No more doomscrolling

Most mornings pre-experiment, I’d log on to
Insta, with the intention of having a quick
scroll. In what feels like 10 minutes, I’ve lost
an hour to someone’s timeline. I lose grip
on my own reality, transported from my
sofa, I’m in Mexico on holiday with some
influencer I don’t even really like. So for
the duration of this experiment, I’m not
using social media when I have places to
be. ‘Take the apps off your phone,’ advises
Cariss, explaining that this way you avoid
temptation. ‘And you can only look at them
when sat down at your computer.’
Okay, so I do cheat a bit on this one. I
don’t remove all my apps, but I do move
them to a different part of my phone. I have
also banned myself from going anywhere
near Insta when I have somewhere to be.
Look, you probably don’t need me to tell
you this, but this one totally works. And if
I do manage to arrive somewhere early, I
can have some uninterrupted Insta time.
Something, I learn, that’s a technique many
early people actually adopt…
Task five: Make a pre-date with yourself
Looking into the
pillow to avoid my
morning doomscroll
– which, FYI, always
adds to lateness

I always thought getting to places early
would be pretty lonesome. But Cariss tells
me I need to flip my thinking. ‘Pick a treat
you can have for arriving early,’ says Cariss.
‘But make sure you plan your route.’ What

C o s m o p o l i ta n

55

RELAX

I ’m a l wa y s l a te

she means by this is add at least 20 minutes
to that, because no route is ever going to
go exactly to plan. Now, before I meet a
friend for dinner or at a gallery or whatever
we have planned, I plan in some time for
myself. It’s like free time. Time I can sit and
have a coffee and read my book. A simple
pleasure just for being early. It’s glorious.
Task six: Never ever do that ‘one more thing’

I tell Cariss that often, as I’m about to leave
the house, I might just decide to make
the bed or tidy something away before
I go out. But I need to ask myself, do I
really need to do it? Cariss tells me that
this is again linked to my anxiety about

leaving the house. ‘A friend of mine’s mum
used to wash the curtains before going on
holiday,’ Cariss chuckles. I can relate. ‘But
if you can’t leave something, you may be
controlling your distressed feelings with
order. It might feel distressing to leave it,
but can you do it when you get home? And
make the choice not to be late.’ I’d never
really looked at it like that before. I can
leave that one last thing and not worry
about it all day. What’s the worst that’s
going to happen if I don’t make the bed
properly? Or tidy away my coffee cup?
These days, I’d rather choose to be early.
As I’ve realised, the anxiety of leaving
a dirty plate in the kitchen isn’t as anxietyinducing as actually being late.

What works…
The 20-minute rule
I used to allow an hour to walk
my dog, but it always took longer.
When planning your time, add
20 mins to every single activity.
It also allows a buffer for any
train or bus mishaps.

Lie down
If you’re like me and find that
you’re spiralling, and it’s eating
into your time, Cariss advises
lying on the floor to ground
yourself. And it works: it forces
you to reassess and bring
your mind back to your body.
Although, I would not advise this
move if you’re out in public or
already really late. Take a pause,
close your eyes and try some
deep breathing instead.

Make the most important
choices the day before
Plan your route and what
you’re going to wear to take
all the drama out of the day.
Even if you think you thrive
on it, I promise you, you don’t.

W H AT I L E A R N E D
I don’t know if I’ll ever call myself an early person. I might always exist on
a tightrope of vast extremes – but I know I will sometimes be early now.
Because I have learned I enjoy it. Although I never want to be the first in a
Zoom call, as that might be the most terrifying place to be alone of all time.

56

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Before anything, you need to ask
yourself, do you actually want to
go? ‘One reason for being late is
that you don’t want to go. That’s a
classic one,’ explains Cariss. ‘We
say yes, but we don’t want to go.
Then we procrastinate. We sort
of want to say I really don’t want
to come, but we show up – albeit
in a way that shows we actually
don’t want to be there.’ Try to
be as honest as possible with
yourself about your future plans
and cancel anything you don’t
fancy (of course not work things,
important meetings and medical
appointments, but social stuff).
As it turns out: you can’t be
late for something you’re
no longer going to.

PHOTOGRAPHY: DUET POSTSCRIPTUM/STOCKSY UNITED

Most importantly, ask
yourself this question

RELAX

How to turn fruit
into a thing
that holds
your cocktail
Glasses are for quitters

B o oze

CAN WE INTEREST
YOU AT ALL IN
A PINEAPPLE
CHALICE?
Cut off the top, then
run a long kitchen knife
vertically around the
inside edge, about an inch
from the sides. Chop the
middle into pieces and
take them out with a spoon.
Add booze, fruit and any
other random (but cute)
home-crafted decoration.

BY AN NAB E L IWEGB U E

MAKE A
WATERMELON
PUNCH BOWL
Slice off the bottom halfinch of a watermelon and
stand it up straight. Then
lop off the top third and
hollow out what’s left with
an ice-cream scoop (btw,
you can puree the melon
balls into your dancing
juice). Fill your fruit basin
to the brim and top with
lots of mint sprigs, sliced
lemons, edible glitter,
Timothée Chalamet’s
tears etc.

TRY SOME LIME
SHOT GLASSES

PHOTOGRAPHY: CHELSIE CRAIG. FOOD STYL ING: JUDY KIM

Cut off both ends of your
lime, chop it in half at
the equator, and stand
each half on its flat part.
Remove the insides with
a spoon, add a salted rim
and fill with iced tequila.

We’ll be
neck-deep
in this beaut
until further
notice

C o s m o p o l i ta n

57

Natalia
Dyer is

turning
Hollywood
Up close and personal with Stranger Things ’ most reluctant star
WO RDS BY DU ST Y BA X TE R-WRI GHT

58

C o s m o p o l i ta n

PH OTOGR APHY BY JOS E FI NA SANTOS

FA S H I O N B Y C A S S I E A N D E R S O N

S EC T I O N

GUTTER CREDIT

down

upside

Fra n c h i s e

T h e c ove r i nte r v i ew

T

here’s an apartment
somewhere in New
York with Natalia
Dyer’s name on it. Well,
not literally - the American
equivalent of a small, blue
commemorative plaque
hasn’t been installed. But
when we speak over Zoom
one bright afternoon, the
actor is days away from
buying and moving into
her own place. ‘I’ve been
travelling around a lot, but
New York is home for me,’
she says, relaxed in a navy
sweatshirt and little-to-no
make-up, gesturing with
red nails to the hotel room
she’s currently living in.
The deal ‘should close
next week. It’s going to
be me and my cat Mona’.

It’s a Monday in early spring, when the name ‘Natty’ pops up on
video call. In what is an increasingly rare occurrence for celebrity
interviews, there are no agents or reps on the line, and no time
limit to our chat together. Instead, Dyer, who appears to be sitting
on the hotel room floor, is thoughtful and measured with her
answers, using her hands a lot when animated in conversation.
A brunette wispy fringe brushes her eyebrows, as she reflects on
fame, fandom and finding her feet.
Of course, it’s her role as Nancy Wheeler in the cult Netflix
show Stranger Things that Dyer’s here to talk about. Ever since
she came to our screens as the preppy girl-next-door turned
shotgun-wielding monster-killer in 2016, more than 190 million

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C o s m o p o l i ta n

households have watched at least one episode of the show, and
now, the much-anticipated fourth season is about to land. But
her love of acting started way back.
Growing up in Nashville, Tennessee, Dyer, 27, lived with an
older sister (she also has a younger sister) and had very supportive
parents. Her mum, an exercise physiologist, and her dad, a clinical
engineer, were particularly insistent that their daughters found
their ‘thing’, whether it was ‘pottery, painting or ice-skating’, and
they would drive them to and from their various commitments
until they found the one that really clicked with them. ‘I made
good grades at school, but I was always writing, drawing or doing
something creative,’ Dyer explains.
Eventually, a twisted ankle at sports camp led her to try her
hand at acting club. ‘The person in charge spoke to my mum and
said, “She’s into this. You should go to an audition for this show
nearby.”’ The role was for Scout in To Kill A Mockingbird, and it
was the beginning of her community theatre days. ‘From there,
I fell in love with it.’
It wasn’t long until Dyer made her big-screen debut. In 2009,
aged 14, she landed a speaking role in the ever-iconic Hannah
Montana: The Movie, as Clarissa Granger. ‘It was kind of crazy,
but very exciting. I played a British person. I don’t think I did the

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accent justice, but then I don’t know if I can do a great British
accent now,’ she laughs. ‘At the time it was so new to me; I was
young and my mum was on set.’ It was also Dyer’s first premiere,
where she wore a, shall we say, ‘peak 2000s’ strapless aquamarine
puffball dress with black open-toe boots. Deadpan: ‘I dressed
myself for that one, which is very obvious.’
What followed was a move to New York for college, where
Dyer attended the Gallatin School of Individualized Study; a
non-traditional interdisciplinary institute that encourages its
students to design their own course. Despite thinking that she
wanted to be a journalist, Dyer was still acting on the side, taking
lead roles in indie films and smaller productions such as I Believe
In Unicorns and After Darkness.
Eventually, the chance to play Nancy Wheeler in Stranger
Things came along. ‘I auditioned twice for the role. I thought
I bombed the initial audition, but then I got the callback, and
I thought I bombed that as well.’
Dyer had no idea how big the show, which follows a group
of friends grappling with supernatural forces in 1980s Indiana,
would be. ‘At the time, Netflix wasn’t what it is today. They had
some really cool shows such as Orange Is The New Black and
House Of Cards, but I really wasn’t aware there was a possibil-

ity of a second season. The energy was like, “I hope people like
it. We like it. We think this is cool.”’
As you probably already know, people loved it. Following its
release in July 2016, around 14 million people watched Stranger
Things season one in the first 35 days, making it the third most
successful Netflix original series at the time. A follow-up season
was announced just one month later, much to the delight of its
already thriving fan base.
Stranger Than Fiction

Part of the success of the show, and why fans are so hungry for
this fourth season, is thanks to the genuine off-screen chemistry
between the cast shining through on-screen. Dyer’s affection for
her castmates, such as Joe Keery and Millie Bobby Brown, is clear,
which she puts down to their shared journey into the spotlight.
‘It’s a bond that is hard to describe,’ she says. ‘We were all very
excited and we hadn’t done anything like it before. So to have it
become so big, literally overnight, was a very specific experience.
It really tied us all together.’
In the six years since Stranger Things first aired, many of
Dyer’s younger co-stars have turned from children to teenagers

C o s m o p o l i ta n

61

T h e c ove r i nte r v i ew

GUTTER CREDIT

BLAZER, VINTAGE
JOSEPH
TIGHTS, FOGAL
SHOES, MANOLO
BLAHNIK
BRACELETS,
RAMONA ALBERT

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C o s m o p o l i ta n

‘To have Stranger Things become so big, literally
overnight, was a very specific experience.
It really tied us all together’

C o s m o p o l i ta n

63

‘Some people are very good about being open
and sharing. Other people feel a little more
comfortable holding some things for themselves’

T h e c ove r i nte r v i ew

in front of her eyes. ‘Every time I see Finn [Wolfhard, who plays
Nancy’s younger brother, Mike], it’s like, “You’re so tall! Are you
taller?” There’s an inherent sense of protectiveness there. I’m
always impressed by them; by how they carry themselves and
how aware they are of the pressures. But it’s nerve-racking and
I don’t envy them at all. I would’ve been a complete mess if I’d
gone through that at their ages. It really is a lot.
‘Gaten [Matarazzo, who plays Dustin] is pretty hilarious in
group chats. He’s got a really funny brain, that one. We have
a fun time; a lot of it is getting to hang out with cool people and
I feel very fortunate to have it as my job.’
Dyer credits the show’s older cast, such as Winona Ryder and
David Harbour, for creating a valuable support network. ‘Winona
is quite protective,’ she says. ‘I don’t think they knew anything
either [about how big the show was going to be]. It was such
uncharted territory for everyone involved. But I think it’s just
natural when you have such young kids working with you. You
watch them grow and you grow close.
‘She’s so lovely and funny in real life and is someone who’s
worked out a balance of how to do what she likes to do, while
also maintaining her sense of self. The nice thing about coming
back to film each season is that it feels a bit like summer camp.
It’s like, “Okay, we’re all here. That happened, but let’s focus, let’s
be grounded. Let’s do it again.”’
Dyer also met British actor Charlie Heaton, 28, her real-life
and on-screen boyfriend, who plays Jonathan Byers, on the show.
The pair are famously private about their relationship, though
Dyer is honest about how ‘special’ it is to work – and find fame –
with him by her side. ‘It’s an understanding that would be hard
to replicate. It’s an indescribable thing.’
While it might feel hard for Dyer to find the words to describe
her connection with both Heaton and the wider cast, it’s clear
from the way she speaks about them just how much they mean
to her. ‘As actors, a lot of the time you’re constantly meeting
new people and working, and I think, generally, working with
people you feel comfortable around, where the energy’s good
and you’re on the same wavelength, is really nice. It’s a really
nice opportunity to do that.’
Beyond that, Dyer doesn’t really understand the obsession
with their relationship. ‘I’m always curious as to why it comes
up. Why do people want to know about it? I think it’s a natural
instinct to want to know more about the people who are on your
screens for hours, about what they’re like in real life. [But] now
that I’ve experienced the other side of it… It sounds so cliché,
but I’m just a person, too. Some people are very good about being
open and sharing, and other people feel a little more comfortable
holding some things for themselves.’
She’s also keen to point out that, as stars of the same show,
there shouldn’t be so much pressure on whether they decide to
go ‘red-carpet official’ or do interviews together, adding, ‘We
were colleagues first. It’s a standard, natural thing that would’ve
happened either way. We work on the same show – naturally we
would do interviews together and things like that. The weirdest
thing about [our relationship] is other people’s perception and
reaction to it. Everything else just feels very human.’
When Dyer is in the UK, she loves going for afternoon tea
and watching The Great British Bake Off. ‘I love scones and tiny
sandwiches. When I was growing up, I thought that ‘high tea’ was

tea time that happened every day. I always romanticised it, so
every time I go to England, I have to get it. And I love The Great
British Bake Off. It’s such a pleasant thing to watch; something
about it just soothes the soul. I’ve seen some clips of the celebrity
one, which I think is so funny. If they let Americans on… I’m keen.’
Pandemic-related delays mean it’s been almost three years
since Stranger Things season three (which was watched by more
than 40 million households in the first four days) aired, and Dyer
is feeling the pressure. ‘It’s nerve-racking every time you put
something out. It’s been so long that I wonder what the fans are

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going to feel.’ She hopes this season will help to answer viewers’
questions about the world of The Upside Down.
‘I’m always asking the Duffer brothers [who created the show],
“How does this happen? Where is this going?” And this time we’re
going to get some more clarity. Nancy’s doing a lot of cool things,
and we have some new cast members joining us who are amazing.
Such is the nature of our show that every press round, I’m like,
“It’s darker, it’s scarier, it feels more intense.” But it really is!’
Netflix has confirmed Stranger Things will end with season
five, and Dyer stutters over the kind of conclusion she’d like for
Nancy. ‘Personally, I hope she doesn’t die. But if she does, I hope
it’s a good one. I’ve always been so curious about what her life
would be like after all of this. The most interesting thing to me

C o s m o p o l i ta n

65

T h e c ove r i nte r v i ew

protective of me, which is so valuable. It’s very grounding
to touch back into reality.
‘Sometimes it can be easy to lose sight of “Why am I here? What
am I doing?” It’s not about you – it’s about telling the story you
want to tell. I can get in my head about the fame thing. I don’t want
to think about, “Oh, how am I going to come across in this?” rather
than just trying to be there and present. It’s tricky. It’s a balance.’
The Fame Game
When it comes to choosing her roles, Dyer is determined
to not be pigeonholed. Yes, God, Yes saw her play a Catholic
The actor’s desire for privacy stretches to all aspects of her life.
schoolgirl, while Chestnut, a drama that she filmed straight after
Despite having more than six million followers on Instagram,
Stranger Things wrapped last year, placed her in the middle of
Dyer posted only three times
a queer love triangle. While
in 2021, and she considers
‘it’s amazing to get to be on
the impact of social media a
huge sets, I also really love
lot. ‘Its role in our society is
the intimacy of small films’.
evolving so much, and I don’t
But it was during filming
know if we’re evolving as fast
for Velvet Buzzsaw, a 2019
as it,’ she says. ‘In some ways,
Netflix thriller that featured
I’m very grateful to have a
Jake Gyllenhaal and John
platform and fans that care
Malkovich, that she got a
about what you have to say.
feel for asking for what you
But I also think there’s a lot
want on set. ‘It was amazing
of pressure to say things,
to work with people to see
how they carry themselves,
and in a lot of ways I feel
underqualified.’ Dyer pauses.
how they communicate with
‘I also wonder if being too
the director and what they
overexposed could limit my
ask for. Even if it’s to change
ability to do what I do well.
a line, or do this differently,
As an actor, I want to be able
or to sit here.’ And she had a
to try and fail at things. I also
small scene with Gyllenhaal.
want to be able to melt into
‘He’s got such a presence. I
characters and be someone
remember him being very
else. I have moments where
involved in how best to do
it feels right to engage and
it, saying, “Maybe we try it
talk about something, but in
like this” or “Maybe we do it
a lot of ways it’s about trying
like that.” Watching people
to absorb and listen and grow
who have done it for a long
time, especially in film, it’s a
as a human before I throw out
my ideas and opinions.’
real craft to juggle all of that
and still be in the moment.’
But there’s also a fear of
Dyer also cites Margot
saying the wrong thing and
Robbie, Reese Witherspoon
getting caught up in cancel
culture. ‘You want to choose
and Olivia Wilde as actors
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your words carefully because
who she has great respect
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PAGE:
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David
Koma;
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David
Webb;
the audience is so huge. It’s
for. ‘I love watching females
band (left), Grace Lee; ring (right), David Yurman
easy to miscommunicate. I’m
experiment with different
not a politician or an expert on foreign affairs, and I don’t want
kinds of roles and who make the transition to produce, direct
to mislead anyone or misrepresent myself. I don’t pretend to be
and write. There are so many female stories that haven’t been
anything other than a 27-year-old actor, but sometimes it can feel
told. The ethos of “Okay, no one’s giving me these parts, no one’s
making this, so I’m just going to do it.” That’s so badass.’
like there’s an expectation to say something just to say something.
We’ve all seen people say things and want to take them back.’
Is it somewhere she could see her career going? ‘Never say
Much like social media, the concept of fame is something Dyer
never. I think it’s really cool, and it does feel like a natural instinct
is wary of; constantly navigating the ever-changing landscape of
to start to make your own stories, or at least get the ones you think
what it means to be a celebrity. ‘It’s about being nice to yourself
should be out there, out there. So yeah. I wouldn’t write it off.’
and checking in with yourself about it. I think you have to learn
For now, though, her focus is on her next project, the horror
what your boundaries are. I’m lucky that my family is supportive.
film All Fun And Games, and of course, moving house. ‘My things
The whole fame thing can affect everyone in your orbit in some
are in boxes in various cities, so that will be fun to figure out.
way. I try to respect how they feel about it, but they’re fiercely
There’s a lot to be excited for.’ Indeed there is.

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HAIR: GONN KINOSHITA FOR THE WALL GROUP. MAKE-UP: CAROLINA DALI FOR THE WALL GROUP. MANICURE: KAYO HIGUCHI FOR BRYAN BANTRY

is not all of the big things, it always goes back to the characters
ending up in a place that feels like a satisfying end to it all.’
She giggles at the thought of a potential spin-off. ‘I wouldn’t
write it off, if the [Duffer] brothers were involved. I’ve always
had thoughts of Nancy becoming this detective type, cool spy,
secret monster hunting…’

Amy eyeing up
the menu (and
prospective dates)

READ Dating IRL

…you know, the ones you
can meet in real life,
rather than through a
swipe on a phone screen.
As more of us than
ever long for the
old-fashioned romance
of a spontaneous real-life
connection, we
challenged two writers
to ditch their apps…
WO R D S BY A M Y G R I E R & B I LLI E WA LK E R

PH OTOGR APHY BY SAR AH C RE S SWE LL

C o s m o p o l i ta n

69

ick of swiping to find men on apps – even when they
were standing right in front of her – Amy Grier learned
how to actually make moves herself…
‘SNACK!’ shouts my friend, loudly in my ear. It’s 11.30pm
on a Saturday night, and while she could be demanding
I turn my attention to our post-night-out feast, the snack
in question is actually the 6ft 2in cotton-clad hench man
currently trying to push in front of us at the bar. He smells
so good, I actually consider letting him.
We’re out on a reconnaissance mission. Operation:
find some fit men we can talk to without the use of
an app. This guy definitely fits the bill. But who am
I kidding – this is 2022. We do what all self-respecting
singles in their mid-thirties do – make eyes at each
other all night, take out our phones to find out if
our app’s distance settings are low enough that we
come up on each other’s profiles, and then go home
(separately), getting chips on the way, before swiping
mindlessly into the early hours of the morning.
This is what life has become for most single people,
a product of our reliance on apps and a pandemic that
suddenly rendered us all housecats by default. We can’t
lay the blame solely at Covid’s door – we were like this
before, as well. But talking to strangers is a muscle that
most of us have not flexed in so long, it has atrophied
beyond repair. I’m old enough (36, now you mention it)
to remember a time when we were better at this. When
we would go out and come home with phone numbers
scrawled on napkins or forearms. When the next day was
spent hazily wondering if they’d text. When locking eyes
with someone in a bar was a universally understood code
for ‘please come over’.

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Thursday, the new-ish dating app currently disrupting
the ‘stay at home and swipe’ market, understands this
longing for human connection. Since the app launched
last summer, it’s hosted parties across London for app
users to come and meet people IRL. Thursday’s USP is
immediacy – matches expire at midnight so, just like in
a club, if you don’t close the number swap by EOP, they
disappear into a puff of pumpkin-coloured smoke.
After an unsuccessful search for Hot Saturday Night
Guy, I decide to try a Thursday event for myself. The
atmosphere is… frantic. There are lots of girls in groups
and quite a few blokes standing on their own. Earlier
in the day I’d been messaging a guy I met on the app, so as
well as surveying my savannah, I’m scouting the door for
his arrival. The bar staff are distractingly good-looking.
Above averagely hot, if you ask me. It feels like those shops
that hire models as shop assistants, encouraging you to
buy more products so that you might possibly attain their
heady levels of attractiveness. If Thursday is pushing
merch, it’s the ‘joy’ and ‘spontaneity’ of singleness. And the
strategy appears to be working. My guy walks in. We have
a fun-but-weird date, as both of us attempt to pretend
we’re not distracted by the human meat market that’s
swirling all around us. We actually end up going out on
five dates over the next few weeks. But I am a woman on
a mission, and I will not fall for the first soldier I meet.
Next stop: beer
festival. ‘Men like beer’,
says my friend Katie,
which feels like as logical
a reason as any to rock
up to the London Craft
Beer Festival in my best
‘jeans and a nice top’ look.
Our logic is two-fold: men
like beer, which therefore means that a beer festival will
contain above-average quantities of said men, some of
whom might be single. Okay, that’s really just one-fold,
isn’t it. Well, we were not wrong.
The first beer festival we hit is in high summer at
London’s Tobacco Dock. Even the queue to get in is more
exciting than any speed-dating event I’ve ever been to.
We have found ourselves at the cultural epicentre of
lumberjack shirts and facial hair. It doesn’t take long to
strike up our first chat, with Liam and his band of merry
men. We meet at a stall serving beer slushies (delicious).
He asks what we think of them, we nod vociferously
through gobfuls of boozy foam. We chat to Liam and
his mates for half an hour before sauntering off into the
night. To start conversations and break into man-packs,

‘Talking to strangers
is a muscle that we
haven’t flexed in so
long it’s atrophied‘

READ Dating IRL

we come up with banal questions that we can’t remember
the answers to. And then we’re in!
Later, when the main room of the festival turns into
the after-hours disco of my dreams, we are adopted by a
(rather young) trio. I’d actually seen one of them earlier in
the night and told Katie, in hushed tones, that he was ‘fit
AF’ (eloquent, I know). By 11pm, to the iconic sounds of
Boom! Shake The Room, we were snogging like teenagers
[I checked, and can confirm he was not an actual teenager].
Nothing ever happened with Fit Beer Guy, as he will
forever be saved in my phone, but it was the most real
dating experience I’d had in over two years. Disclaimer:
Katie and I also hit up the Christmas offering from London
Craft Beer Festival at the Truman Brewery, and the exact
same thing happened.
Now for some more organised fun. Pre-this-featureAmy would have run a mile in heels at the mere mention
of a ‘singles mixer’, but… I decided to reserve judgement.

That’s how I found myself attending
Date In A Dash’s Friday night drinks
mixer, this time on a swanky rooftop
bar in London’s St Paul’s.
I was so sure that this wouldn’t be
my vibe that I’d already booked a late
dinner for me and my mate nearby.
Well, that reservation got cancelled.
It was so refreshing to spend time
in a nice bar full of interesting people,
who were the right age and wanted to
chat. There was no pressure to stay
too long talking to someone, everyone
moved around freely – and there were
no awkward icebreakers or enforced
‘fun’. Eventually, a few men who’d come
alone teamed up, and my friend and
I, and our new adopted wolf-pack, went
on for more drinks, then dancing, at a
couple of local bars. I ended up going
on a few dates with one of the guys
in the weeks that followed. And at the
time of writing, my friend is still dating
the one she met!
Buoyed with confidence, I book
something I’ve been thinking about
going to for most of my dating life:
Billie: crossing her
fingers for good service
a Jewish dating event. I’m culturally
(and a good date)’
Jewish, which to me means I was born
into it and brought up with some
traditions, but don’t really practise
the religious side of it any more. I love
the culture and the heritage, though, and whoever my
future partner may be (I don’t mind what religion they
are, never have), I’d want my children to know that their
mum was Jewish and what that meant.
So I head over to Camden to attend the Chabad West
Hampstead Young Professionals Friday Night Dinner. It’s
a mixer and dinner for young (most people are under 40,
but there was no age limit that I could see) Jewish people.
It’s an eclectic mix of those who are like me, and those
who are slightly more religious. Of all the things I went
to, this was the one I was most nervous about. Bars and
beer are familiar territory to me, but this? It felt personal.
It was also the only thing I went to entirely on my own.
I needn’t have worried. Lots of people had come by
themselves, and within a few minutes I was chatting to a
nice bunch of girls who then introduced me to their guy
mates. When we sat down for dinner, I shamelessly made
a beeline for the table with two of the hottest guys on it.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

71

READ Dating IRL

Before I started this ‘experiment’, I would have always
waited for people to approach me. But over the weeks
I have realised how hard that is – and how much pressure
it places on them, and on me to make myself feel like I’m
‘attractive’ enough to entice them over. Doing the ‘work’
yourself actually alleviates the pressure.
I didn’t meet anyone at the dinner, but I’m so glad
I went. I realised how much I had missed that side of my
life. I’m still not sure that religion will play a part in any
of my future relationships, but I found the conversations
I had that night moreishly authentic.
If switching up my dating habits taught me anything,
it’s how much more information you can gather about
someone, even in the first five seconds of meeting them,
than you do in five hours of chat on dating apps. We are
primed to make snap judgements about people, and that’s
okay – it has protected us in the past when our own guts
were all we had to determine friend from foe. But we
should also lean into that side of ourselves more, not just
to screen people out, but to invite them in, too. Not only
is it fun, it opens up a world of human possibility beyond
our screens and turns a train carriage, a park bench, or
your favourite local cafe into a place where you could
meet someone interesting. All you have to do is look up.

A

fter spending her twenties dating men,
Billie Walker wanted to meet other
queer people like herself…

There are two sides to me. One is happy
to continue vegetating in my living room,
expecting life to come my way; the other knows that only I
can make it happen. The problem is, thanks to a wealth of
dating apps, it has been easy to fool myself into thinking I
can change my life from my sofa. That’s why, when I decided
that I had to take action, it involved doing just one thing:
changing my Hinge profile setting to ‘all genders’.
At 27, most of my twenties has been taken up by dating
guys and I find myself questioning why I keep returning
to men who didn’t please me emotionally or sexually.
Looking back on my teen years, which were filled with
crushes, kisses and sparks with all genders, I’m not sure
how my twenties became so focused on men. But a lot of
time has passed since my last queer experience. I have faint
memories of kissing girls, under covers, fumbling over each
other’s bodies, but I am completely inexperienced, which
petrifies me. I need to get out and meet people rather
than try to orchestrate hook-ups through my phone. I
want the slow trickle of organic connection, where sparks

72

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Amy: done with waiting
for love to find her
through a phone

gradually build over time, rather than the instantaneous
short-lived life of an online match.
Why, considering how terrified I feel, I decided to jump
right in there by going to a kink night is confusing even
to myself. But I had heard from friends that Crossbreed, a
queer kink party, is such a great experience – a place where
you can be involved as little or as much as you want. Sex
is so openly discussed and part of its culture that I felt it
might make things easier. The dress code is fetish wear
and I’ve opted for a PVC corset, which cinches in my waist
and stops under my breasts. Underneath this there’s only
a fishnet dress and lace knickers standing between me
and the world. As we enter the club, I’m nervous to debut
my kink look but my fear washes away as I am surrounded
by a beautiful mixture of skin, latex, leather and lace.
I haven’t come alone; I am with a friend who’s already
well-accustomed to Crossbreed’s ways. We spend the
night as you would in most clubs, flitting between the
dancefloor, bar and smoking area. Sometimes we dance
together, sometimes we find partners. Some interactions
are sexually charged, others become outfit comparisons
or chats about other queer clubs to try. I walk round the
playroom once just to see it, to hear the exciting slaps of
leather on flesh and the symphony of moans. But I don’t

Billie: on the
lookout for IRL
connection

‘From a few nights
of putting myself out
there, I already feel
more resilient’
join in – just being here at all is a big step for me, and
I’m careful not to push myself.
In the last hour, I dance with a stunning femme. Their
latex rubs seductively against my fishnet as they ask
permission to put their hands on my body. The question
excites me and I grant them permission to fulfil their
desire. After many years in clubs where straight men
would rub their crotches against me without consent,
I wasn’t expecting to experience joy from intimacy on
the dancefloor. However, by the time we take a break,
shyness overcomes me. My friend finds us making small
talk outside. I don’t know how to make conversation
so soon after having their nipple in my mouth. All the
usual steps have been jumbled and I’m lost among them,
blinking vacantly at their stunning face. In my fluster
I fail to get their number before my friend and I leave.
For a long time, I have worried that the addition of
vocalising boundaries often during romantic encounters
would feel forced, and that it might take away from the
magic of the moment. But my experience at Crossbreed
has taught me that consent being woven into the fabric
of the night ensures everyone is having fun. It’s a turn-on
having someone ask to touch your body, and it’s also a
turn-on to be vocalising your yeses frequently.

Yet, while I definitely had some fun at Crossbreed, for
now, I prefer events where sex isn’t part of the clubbing
experience. Personally, I need more. I love meeting people
on the dancefloor, but want a date or two before exploring
our bodies and kinks. For me, it feels like a night like this
is about initial looks, in much the same way apps are.
In search of a different vibe entirely, I head across town
to Castle Cinema, for the first of its Queer Horror Nights.
But as soon as arrive I lose hope, as a sea of older gay men
fills the theatre, the only queer women in attendance
being the ones I came with.
The next night I want to experience is Queer House
Party. It began as an online event to lift the spirits of the
queer community during lockdown, and has now moved to
IRL. The club’s ceiling is covered in umbrellas with political
slogans sprayed on them, like ‘sex work is work’, and the
host chants ‘consent is sexy’ at intervals throughout the
night. I feel incredibly open to this space, its attendees
and its politics. I use the age-old tactic of approaching
people in the smoking area, striking up conversation via
open-ended questions. This results in me singing Tatu
with a femme in the bar queue, sharing Crossbreed notes
with another and gushing about the event with two more,
but nothing romantic comes of the night.
Having gone in with only the intention of having fun,
this doesn’t leave me disappointed. I feel more confident
than I have in ages, and have found I feel more myself in
the queer spaces I’ve entered in the last month than any
of the nights I spent the majority of my early twenties in.
I have even shucked the defensive look off my face that I
wore as armour in straight clubs. A sour expression worn
to keep unsolicited male attention at bay.
There is a natural ebb and flow to approaching people
and with it you need compassion. It is a lot easier to be
rejected online, and dealing with those feelings in person
is going to feel more intense in the beginning. But when
‘no’ or ‘not now’ or ‘not like that’ become part of your
own vocabulary, someone else’s rejection becomes less
personal. You can understand that it’s more about their
headspace than a reflection on you as person, and move
on from that exchange without hurt feelings.
From a few nights of putting myself out there, I already
feel more resilient. One social interaction gives me the
courage for another. One event invitation leads to the
promise of the next. I watch a social life unfurl before my
eyes, with new opportunities for connection fizzing in
the near future. An exciting life exists, one which cannot
be found in the depths of my screen. For the first time in
a long time, I can’t wait to leave my living room behind.
For more IRL dating ideas, head to cosmopolitan.com/uk

C o s m o p o l i ta n

73

Bright lights. Fun. Friendship. Clever marketing
has made everything from bingo to slots feel
more like a game than a gamble. But we are in
the midst of a crisis. Jordan Page meets the
young women who lost everything

74

C o s m o p o l i ta n

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Gambling

C o s m o p o l i ta n

75

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Gambling

S

tacey slips her credit cards out of
her purse and places them under a
pillow. Her phone, now on airplane
mode, joins them. She won’t touch
them until morning. The pillow these
prohibited items are hiding under is
her girlfriend’s. They’re about to go
to bed, and Stacey needs a physical
barrier to stop her from reaching them in the night.
She carefully follows this strict routine at the end of
every month. Why? Because tomorrow is payday,
and payday for the 29-year-old looks and feels
worlds apart from that of most women her age. She’s
addicted to gambling. The influx of money makes
her anxious and transports her back to the ‘eight
years of hell’ when gambling ruled her every move.
I’m not alone as I learn about this rigorous
routine, though. Adopting the inside of her fridge
as a makeshift ring light, Stacey also shares it with
her 83,000 TikTok followers, who know her as The
Girl Gambler. She’s using her platform to highlight a
growing problem that few outside of her following
even recognise: the UK’s female gambling crisis.
Research by GambleAware has revealed that up
to one million women in the UK could be at risk of
gambling harm – but unless you’re one of those
suffering, it’s likely you haven’t noticed it unfold.
That’s because it’s rarely found in busy betting
shops, but on mobile phones, hidden from view
until it’s too late. So what do these addictions really
look like, and why are so many women suffering?
More importantly, is there anything that can be
done to stop it?
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C o s m o p o l i ta n

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Clutching her phone underneath her desk, Sophie
scans the office before tapping a twinkling green
button, reading ‘SPIN’. Yesterday, her manager warned
that she spent too much time on her phone. A few
weeks back, a business-wide email alerted that an
employee was gambling on the company wifi when
they shouldn’t be. But for Sophie, none of that matters.
As she deposits her fourth £50 of the day on to the
online slot machine, her heart races. She needs the
cartoon leprechaun to tell her she’s won.
She’d first started gambling at 18 years old, when
her ex-boyfriend gave her an introductory code for an
online slot machine. ‘I feel awful blaming him, but that’s
how it started,’ Sophie, now 29, admits. One of the
most popular forms of online gambling, slots have the
highest average losses per player of all digital gambling
methods, according to research, while being one of
the easiest to play. From the moment she entered
that code, Sophie’s life was consumed. ‘It was easy to
deposit £100, then another, then another,’ she says.
‘I thought the higher I bet, the more I could win.’
Over the next few years, Sophie did score the
occasional win, but nothing could rival the debt her

Gambling

problem racked up. With the help of overdrafts, credit
cards (the use of which are now prohibited in gambling)
and 15 payday loans, Sophie owed nearly £20,000 –
even pawning a family ring (which she managed to get
back). ‘Traditional betting settings like bookmakers
aren’t welcoming environments for women,’ says Anna
Hemmings, CEO of GamCare, a charity providing
support to people affected by gambling harm, and
operator of the National Gambling Helpline. She
explains that online gambling accounts for a quarter
of the UK’s entire gambling market (according to the
Gambling Commission), and British women have some
of the highest participation rates in
the world. ‘Online, it’s discreet. You
can gamble anywhere, at any time,
on your phone. It’s more accessible
for women.’ As a result, the number of
female gamblers contacting GamCare
has been steadily increasing, and rose
at double the rate of men between
2014 and 2019.
The lure of online anonymity is
appealing even to those who started
gambling in more ‘traditional’
senses, like Stacey who – at 18
– got a job in her local betting
shop. Back then, she ‘didn’t have
the foggiest’ about gambling.
‘My manager had to tell me what
the Cheltenham races were,’ she
laughs. She rarely saw women in the bookies,
but Stacey dealt with men who had addictive
habits every day. Watching them gamble away
everything they had, she told herself she’d never
put money into one of the machines.
A few short weeks later, Stacey caved. In need
of change for her till, she visited a neighbouring
bookies. Innocently standing before a flashing
slot machine, curiosity took over and Stacey
put a pound coin into the slot. Suddenly, coins
poured out. It was the hook of that first win
that she says led her to gamble whenever she
had change – she’d never gamble with a note.
‘But after I brought in £25 worth of coins and
lost it all, I broke that promise,’ she admits.
Retrospectively shocked at how quickly her
addiction developed, Stacey began spending
£500 a day, taking buses to betting shops in
nearby towns to avoid being seen. Soon she
was enticed into the lair of online gambling,
tempted by anonymity. ‘No one could stare at
me online,’ Stacey tells me. ‘I was just a username
that no one knew.’

‘Online, it’s
discreet. You
can gamble
anywhere, at
any time, on
your phone. It’s
more accessible
for women’

C o s m o p o l i ta n

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Gambling

Numb the pain away
‘When I was gambling, I didn’t feel anything else. I
couldn’t hear anything. I was like a zombie,’ Stacey
explains, thinking back to how she was lulled into an
almost-soothing state of detachment by the apps.
This is one of the key differences between male
and female gambling, according to Liz Karter MBE.
A female gambling expert and therapist, Karter has 22
years of experience treating women with addictions.
For everyone, there’s the dopamine release (which,
science has shown, is released for a win and a loss),
but men, she says, are more attracted to the burst
of adrenaline that fast-paced gambling (like sport
and horse betting) offers, whereas women prefer
repetitive games like slots and bingo. ‘The appeal
is that it’s a form of self-medication,’ Karter states.
Hemmings agrees and adds that GamCare helps
women who gamble dangerously to
escape from problems in their lives.
Past trauma, poor mental health (it’s
estimated that one in five women in
England live with a mental health
problem, compared with one in eight
men – and that’s before the pandemic
hit) or simply the daily stresses and
expectations of being a woman today
are enough to coax thousands into
gambling. ‘Women feel overstimulated
by everything that’s going on in their
lives – gambling provides the numbing
sensation that can put those negative
emotions to sleep,’ explains Karter.
When Stacey put that first coin into
the machine, she was in recovery for
an eating disorder, and the soothing
nature of gambling provided a distraction from her
intrusive thoughts. ‘My hatred for myself stopped for
a bit when I gambled,’ she says. ‘It would be grounding
for me to go into that place of not feeling anything.’
As with all unhealthy distractions, gambling may
mask pain momentarily, but it doesn’t solve the true
problems, it only exacerbates them. After playing slot
games for three years, Sophie realised the severity of
her situation when she broke up with her ex and moved
back in with her mum. ‘My mental health spiralled and
I began suffering from anxiety… The pressure to win
back that money became overwhelming.’ As calls from
debt collectors escalated and the burden of hiding
her addiction from loved ones intensified, Sophie’s
panic culminated with a Google search. ‘I searched,
“What happens to your debt if you kill yourself?”’ she
recalls, her voice breaking. ‘I was at rock bottom. I felt
like the only girl this was happening to.’

‘When I was
gambling,
I didn’t feel
anything else.
I couldn’t
hear anything.
I was like a
zombie’

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C o s m o p o l i ta n

Stacey’s life revolved around gambling for eight
years. Each pay cheque vanished into the depths of
an app, even the £50,000 jackpot she won didn’t
last a week. She gambled her girlfriend’s mortgage
payments away and isolated herself from family and
friends, making up ‘the most ridiculous lies’ to hide
her problem. ‘It was the loneliest place in the world,’
she exhales. Similarly to Sophie, Stacey’s addiction
cornered her into believing that suicide was the only
escape. At her lowest, she attempted to take her own
life. In a study published last year by City University,
14.5% of young women who had attempted suicide
in the past year showed survey results indicative
of problem gambling. ‘A lot of women feel there’s
no other way out of their situation than their own
death,’ explains Karter. As well as depression, panic
attacks and suicidal thoughts, women she’s treated
have suffered from an array of physical symptoms
because of gambling-induced stress, from stomach
ulcers to hair loss. And even though so many women
suffer from these devastating repercussions, many feel
like they have nowhere or no one to turn to for help.

Sharing the burden
Sitting in a stuffy church hall, Stacey’s eyes darted
around the circle searching for a face like hers. Even
if she couldn’t recognise someone her age, meeting
another woman at her first Gamblers Anonymous (GA)
meeting would have helped her feel less alone. But
when she first sought help back in 2014, the 22-yearold found herself in a room surrounded by middle-

READ

aged men. Feeling self-conscious, she never went back.
Support groups specifically for women now exist
(albeit only two, in Manchester and London), but it
wasn’t until Stacey – five years after that initial GA
meeting – stayed at a Gordon Moody retreat that she
finally felt seen. The charity offers a range of treatment
options, having worked with gambling addicts for
50 years, including a women-only retreat. ‘I listened
to these women talk about their experiences and I
burst into tears,’ she recalls. ‘It was the first time that
I didn’t feel alone.’ It was the turning point she needed.
Stacey is now two and a half years gamble-free and,
along with the TikTok community she’s created, she’s
also written a book about her experiences. For Sophie,
it was her Google search, terrified that death was the
only way she could escape her debt, that became the
catalyst that spurred her to get help. On the results
page, she found an advert for StepChange, a charity
that helps people manage and repay their debt. With
its support, she paid off her debt over five years and –
apart from a blip in lockdown – hasn’t gambled since.
As we talk, it’s difficult to ignore how frequently
Sophie and Stacey refer to the shame their addictions
made them feel because of their gender. GambleAware
notes that this feeling prevents a quarter of women
from seeking help. ‘Gambling is too often perceived
as a male issue,’ says Hemmings. She argues that
stereotyping gambling reinforces stigma, ultimately
telling women that their addictions should remain
hidden. This is also true of the myth that addictions
only affect those who are working class. ‘If I had a
pound for every time a woman walked into my practice
and said, “You won’t believe what I do for a living,” I’d be
very wealthy,’ says Karter. She asserts that at least half
of the women she treats are middle-class professionals
with no financial motivation to gamble. Even now when
Sophie, who works as a demand planner, mentions her
addiction, she’s repeatedly met with the response, ‘You
don’t seem like the type.’ ‘It’s that kind of reaction that
made me feel ashamed in the first place.’
In April 2019, Sweden made headlines when a survey
revealed that the majority of the country’s gambling
addicts were women. Problematic gambling needs
to be tackled regardless of gender, age or class, but
how can we prevent Sweden’s present from becoming
our future? How do we remove the smog of stigma
surrounding women with addictions, empower them
to speak about their experiences and prevent more
from falling victim to gambling harm? First, we must
acknowledge that not everyone who gambles does
so dangerously. In 2020, the Gambling Commission
found that 47% of UK adults surveyed had gambled in
the past four weeks, and initiatives and software like

Gamstop and Gamban have been in place for years to
help users self-exclude and ban sites from their devices.
Both women I’ve spoken to insist that more needs
to be done by online gambling companies (which
made almost £7 billion last year, by the way). Stacey
is calling for frequent prompts to drag users out of
autopilot mode, while Sophie argues gamblers should
be monitored for their first months using a site, being
alerted when they spend too much money (and time)
gambling. ‘And I don’t mean a pop-up you can dismiss
with a click,’ she says. ‘If an actual human reached out
and someone had no choice but to have a conversation,
they’d reassess what they were doing.’ She goes further
to suggest that sites should require proof of a user’s
salary and outgoings to determine whether they can
afford what they’re spending.
With over two decades of experience in the field,
Karter has seen huge advances in the industry to prevent
users from developing addictions, but still sees room
for improvement – particularly in advertising. In a 2021
poll, YouGov found that nearly two-thirds of UK citizens
supported a ban on gambling adverts online, on social
media platforms and on TV before 9pm. Karter wants to
see their frequency reduce, and stresses that the nature
of advertisements needs to shift from portraying
gambling as a joyous activity to something more
honest. ‘It’s common to see adverts of women playing
bingo together, laughing at a summer barbecue. This
idea of community is attractive for women dealing
with loneliness,’ she says. But as we’ve discovered, this
isn’t accurate. ‘Gambling is done in isolation, and that
false sense of community can be misleading.’
It’s this aspect I find most staggering. To stop us
plummeting further into this crisis, the root of the
problem needs to be addressed. The NHS received a
record 4.3 million referrals for anxiety and depression
last year, but even before the pandemic, many years of
research suggest that women are especially likely to
be affected by loneliness, depression and anxiety, and
it’s time that something is done about it. While we wait
to discover the long-term impact the past few years
have had on mental health, for now, Stacey and Sophie
are living proof that life exists beyond addiction,
with Stacey herself becoming the very example she so
desperately needed in her darkest hours. Hopefully,
she can now inspire many more women to break free.

Gambling

Five warning
signs that your
gambling has
gone too far
1.

You’re losing track
of time when you
gamble
2.

You’re gambling
more than you
can afford
3.

You’re keeping it a
secret from others
around you
4.

You’re
preoccupied
with gambling
5.

Your gambling
is causing you
to grow distant
from your loved
ones, and you’re
missing out on
opportunities

BEHIND THE SCENES IT WASN’T JUST SOPHIE AND STACEY’S
BRAVERY THAT STRUCK ME, BUT THEIR OPENNESS, TOO. BOTH
WANTED TO SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES TO MAKE MORE WOMEN
AWARE OF GAMBLING’S DANGERS, AND TO HELP OTHERS
RECOGNISE WHEN IT’S TIME TO SEEK HELP. BY TELLING THEIR
STORIES, I HOPE SOMEONE READING THIS – EVEN IF IT’S JUST
ONE PERSON – CAN FREE THEMSELVES FROM GAMBLING’S GRIP.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

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Body

How we feel about our bodies is constantly evolving. Here, Malin Andersson
is joined by five other incredible women to discuss body image and how
their individual journeys have impacted what they see in the mirror
WO RDS BY ALI C E S NAPE & JADE B I GGS

PH OTOGR APHY BY ALE X AN DR A CAM E RO N

hat do you see when you look
at yourself? Do you pick your
image apart? Wish you could
– with a swipe of your finger – smooth
your skin, erase or add a curve? We live in
a world of online optical illusions, so it’s
easy to compare ourselves with a filter.
Or maybe there are precious days you
think, ‘I look good!’ The body confidence
movement has, thankfully, made us aware
of the myths we’re sold and championed
the tremendous power of self-love. But
the truth is, loving yourself isn’t always
easy, and how you feel about your body
will change. Month by month, day by day,
hour by hour. We all go through journeys
with our bodies. Childbirth and operations.
We age. We lose weight, we gain it. How
we look on the outside can be the exact
opposite of how we feel on the inside,
with our mental health and happiness
playing a huge part in our body image.
It’s an internal tug of war, one exacerbated
by the conflicting #hotgirlsummer and
#loveyourself messaging we’re bombarded
with, particularly during the summer. So
here is our antidote. It’s not a lecture. It
won’t tell you to gain weight, lose weight,
love your flaws-that-aren’t-flaws. It’s an
honest conversation about the evolution
of our body image, and a reminder that
however you’re feeling about your body
today – that’s okay. You’re not alone on your
journey, and these six women are proof.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

81

Before Malin, 29, appeared on season two of Love Island, she worked as
an air hostess. Now she’s a body positivity advocate and the author of
Positivity Is Our Superpower. In January she gave birth to baby Xaya, who
was born through the same C-section scar that Malin’s first daughter,
Consy, was in December 2018. Consy was born seven weeks premature and
tragically died less than a month later. Both pregnancies changed Malin’s
relationship with her body and allowed her to let go of years of self-hate.
Hairy vulva. Saggy stomach. Standing in the bathroom, naked and bleeding,
my knickers around my ankles. My C-section scar pinching at my stomach.
My partner bends down to change my pad for me. But I feel no shame.
This version of me is a world away from who I used to be, especially on
Love Island. I feel sad for her. I look back at photos and she looks dead behind
the eyes. It’s incredible how much history sits in our camera rolls. All these
old versions of myself. I used to pick myself apart, examine each part of me
with a desire to change it. When I was a child, my mum called me chubby, put
pressure on me to diet – it stuck. During my teens, I lost myself. Bulimia meant
I was stuck in a cycle of binge eating and purging. I remember wondering if
the number on the scales would consume me forever. When I was cabin crew,

82

C o s m o p o l i ta n

MALIN’S HAIR AND MAKE-UP: JAKE OAKLEY. MALIN’S JEWELLERY, HER OWN
SOPHIE WEARS: BRA, SAVAGE X FENTY; UNDERWEAR, DORA LARSEN

Malin Andersson

I even packed scales in my
suitcase. I’d take naked
photos, posing to make
myself look skinnier,
sucking in my stomach.
When I got out of the
villa, I was viciously trolled.
I was called the ‘fat one’. I
was already insecure, so
when I was offered free
cosmetic surgery, I took
it. I thought it would make
me happier, but my mind
wasn’t healed by my fat
being sucked away. I’d never tell anyone not to get
surgery, but it didn’t change how I felt on the inside.
Being pregnant with Consy changed everything.
When you see your baby, their eyes staring back at
you, everything else falls into irrelevance. Growing
her cancelled out those years of battling with food.
When I was pregnant for the second time with Xaya, I
could feel the presence of my angel Consy. But it wasn’t
just that. My body was different, too. I was heavier,
but when my midwife asked to
weigh me, I said no – unless it
Malin’s part memoir,
part self-help book
was a medical issue. As long as
Positivity Is Our
my baby was healthy, that’s all
Superpower is out
I needed to know. I have a scar
now (Hay House,
£12.99)
that sits across my stomach;
it’s raw from the birth of my baby daughter Xaya. She
was born through the same scar as Consy. Now I only
need to look at my healthy baby to know that scar tells
a huge story. How could I hate a part of my body that
has such a beautiful meaning?
Still, particularly after birth, the weight-loss
narrative consumes so many of us. As soon as
I gave birth, people were commenting on how my
stomach had gone down. Why do people jump to
comment on how we look? There’s this stereotype
that you have the baby, then you lose the weight.
And we’re conditioned to believe that we should.
But our bodies change, that’s the point of them.
My body is never going to go back to how it was – I
shouldn’t expect it to, I don’t want it to. The other day,
I put on a pair of jeans; they’re a couple of sizes up from
what I used to wear, but I was like, ‘I’m looking good!’
There’s a peace that comes from accepting yourself.
So, when people look at these photos of me, I want
them to see a body that has lost a child. A body that
has gained a child. A body that has gone through
brutal beatings from an abusive ex. I want my body
– and my voice – to be as raw as possible. Look. I’ve
got cellulite. I’ve got rolls. I’ve got C-section scars.
I’ve gone through all this pain. It’s part of who I am,
and it shows on my body. As my daughter grows up,
I want her to see me prancing around in my underwear
with my cellulite and a belly, and I want her to see me
oozing confidence. That’s what I want to pass down.

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Body

Sophie Potter
Sophie, 32, from Hull, has Down’s
syndrome and is a Myth Buster for
learning disability charity Mencap.
She hates it when people call her cute.
She’s a woman, not a child. And she
never compares herself – or her body, for
that matter – to other people.
Dancing in my underwear, having my
photo taken for this feature, I felt
confident. I felt stylish. I don’t like
it when people call me pretty. I’d rather be
beautiful or gorgeous. I want to be seen
as sexy, too. Definitely sexy, but don’t call
me cute. Never cute. It’s babyish. And I’m
not a child. I’m a 32-year-old woman –
and that’s what I want people to see in
this photo. People always think I’m a lot
younger than I actually am.
When I look in the mirror, I say
nice things to myself out loud. Maybe
I look classy in what I’m wearing. So I say,
‘Oh darling, you look gorgeous!’ I like what
I see when I look in the mirror. And I never,
ever get jealous of other people. Someone
else can be beautiful, but I don’t want to
be like them. I want to be me. Why would I
want to be anyone else? But personality is
always more important than looks. Well, it
should be. Sense of humour is important
– I love people who can make me laugh.
My grandma Olive passed lots of things
down to me. She taught me to always carry
perfume in my handbag. When I started
my period, she gave me a little bag to
carry my pads in and said that I should
always keep them with me, just in case. She
taught me how to look after my skin. I put
moisturiser on every day. I like having a
laugh, so I put music on in the background
and dance most mornings.
My favourite part of my body is my
shoulders, they get me moving when
I dance. I love my hair. I like wearing tights
and a short skirt. I love my legs, especially
in my Dr. Martens boots. When I go to a
disco, I love having some cleavage out, too.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

83

Body

I’ve got great boobs. My sister, mum and me
giggle about me having the biggest boobs.
Sparkles are my fave because I’m a party
girl at heart. I love having a drink. I go on
nights out with my sister and her mates all
the time. I’m always the last one standing.
I like a lager and lime, that’s my pub drink.
Or maybe a G&T. People are surprised
when they know that I like a drink. There
are loads of things
people get wrong Sophie’s sister Emily
about people with runs creative workshops
Down’s syndrome. I for people who have
learning disabilities
want to show that @_down.the.lens_
people like me can
go out and dance. I can party as much as
anyone else. Once on a night out, this guy
was staring at me rudely. I hated it. No one
should do that. I’m allowed to be there.
I love wearing a swimming costume
on the beach – I don’t get shy. I don’t need
to cover myself up. I love being naked; I
love dancing naked in my bedroom. My
family are important to me. Before my
mum met my stepdad, I grew up in a house
of all women – me, my sister and my mum
– so it was quite a naked house. There was
no shame. We were open about what our
bodies looked like. I love my body. I never
wake up hating how I look. No one should.

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C o s m o p o l i ta n

Dee Avorkliyah
Dee, 31, from London, was diagnosed
with breast cancer in her twenties and
is waiting for breast reconstruction,
which has been delayed as a result of
the pandemic. She’s now learning that
you can’t wait for change in order to
accept the skin you’re in.
It was just a normal Sunday afternoon,
and I was in the shower. Standing under
the water, I moved my fingers over my
breasts, pressing them into my skin.
I wasn’t paying much attention, but
that’s when I felt it – a hard lump the
size of a grape hidden in the softness.
For a split second, time stopped.
Just the day before, a breast cancer
awareness programme came on TV. I
was 28 at the time and I’d never even
thought about checking my breasts.
I often wonder what would have
happened if I hadn’t stumbled across
that programme. I wasn’t frightened
though, thinking it was nothing more
than a cyst. But I rang 111. From then on,
things moved quickly. After meeting
with a GP, I was sent to hospital to see a
breast cancer specialist for an ultrasound and biopsy.
Hear more stories
Two weeks later, I heard three words no one wants to like Dee’s on
hear. ‘You’ve got cancer.’ I’d been so convinced I didn’t Macmillan’s weekly
have it, that I couldn’t even process it. The weeks went Talking Cancer
podcast
by in a blur, and within a month I’d started treatment
– not before undergoing egg harvesting though, because chemotherapy
can cause infertility. I already have a son, but I want more children.
I barely thought about what I looked like, I was just trying to survive. I’d
been told I’d need a mastectomy, but because I responded well to treatment,
doctors opted for a lumpectomy, which removed the lump in my breast. I
loved the way my boobs looked before, but when I peeled away the bandages
after the procedure, I was disappointed. My breasts were uneven, with
scarring where the lump was removed. I’d also put on a lot of weight due to
the steroids I was taking. Whenever I caught a glimpse of my body, I was so
overwhelmed by the reminder of what I was up against that I couldn’t look
at myself in the mirror – the woman looking back wasn’t Dee.
I didn’t want to be consumed by the way I looked – after all, I was up against
cancer – so I spoke to a surgeon about having reconstructive surgery. I was
excited to have the procedure, desperate to rediscover my confidence and
have breasts that looked the same size, but due to the pandemic my operation
has been pushed back. Now I’m not sure when – or if – it’ll go ahead. Because
of that, I’ve had time to reprogramme the way I see myself. If the surgery gets
done, it gets done. But if it doesn’t, it’s not the end of the world.
I don’t think it’s realistic to be in love with your appearance all the time,
but three years on from my diagnosis, I’m coming to accept that this is my
body now. It’s taken some time, but I’m at a point where I’m confident in my
own skin and, more importantly, grateful that I’m still here. I’m thankful to my
body that’s carried me through this journey, and is still carrying me through.

DEE WEARS: BRA AND UNDERWEAR, BOTH PARADE; JEWELLERY, HER OWN

READ

LUCY WEARS: BRA AND UNDERWEAR, BOTH SAVAGE X FENTY.
CAPRICE-KWAI WEARS: BRA AND UNDERWEAR, BOTH SAVAGE X FENTY; EARRINGS, @BYCAPRICEKWAI ON INSTAGRAM

READ

Body

Lucy Beall

Caprice-Kwai Ambersley

Lucy, 23, a master’s student living in London, has recessive dystrophic
epidermolysis bullosa, a genetic condition that causes skin to become
very fragile, resulting in open wounds and constrictive scar tissue.

Caprice-Kwai, 20, from London, has osteoarthritis,
a degenerative joint condition that causes pain,
swelling and difficulty moving, meaning she relies
on a mobility aid – her crutch – on a daily basis.

Lying on a hospital bed, my mum held my hand as the nurses put the
anaesthetic mask over my face. I was just 12 years old, yet I could feel
the weight of what I – and my body – would have to go through. At
the time, the skin on my body (usually covered in painful sores and
blisters) was the least of my concerns because a build-up of aggressive
scar tissue – a common side effect of my condition – meant that my
throat was closing up and I was struggling to swallow. I was terrified,
worried that it could close up entirely. Conditions like mine are so
apparent on the outside that people often forget the damage that’s
being done on the inside.
I was diagnosed with
recessive dystrophic
epidermolysis bullosa
(RDEB) at the age of two
and I grew up with a family
who were honest about the
implications of having
a visible disability. I had
a great childhood and I was
rarely teased for the way
I looked, but that meant I
didn’t really understand
what was to come when
I hit puberty. Being a
teenager sucks anyway,
but being a teenage
girl who looks different
poses its own unique set
of challenges, especially
because RDEB means
my appearance can change. Right now, I’ve
got about ten open wounds on my body – For more information
about RDEB, visit
sometimes they can be as small as a 10p coin, debra.org.uk
or so large and sore that I can barely
function because of the pain – next month, though, I might have
fewer. This means the outside world’s perception of me is always
changing. One day I look like me, and the next day I could fall and
graze the skin on my face, meaning that within 24 hours I can go
from being ‘conventionally attractive’ to having people stare and
point at me in the street. I’ve noticed I’m treated so much better when
I don’t have wounds on my face, or if I cover up the scars on my body.
I try not to let other people’s views change the way I feel about my
body, because if I did, I’d never be happy. But it’s not just everyone
else’s opinion I’ve had to work on. I’ve had to challenge my own view,
too. There was a time when I’d cry for hours, dreaming of how much
kinder society would be without my RDEB. Then, one day, I had the
realisation that resenting my body wasn’t going to change it. I’d spent
the afternoon sobbing to my mum, asking her why I didn’t look like
other girls. ‘You’ll never look like them,’ she said, ‘but you don’t need
to look like them to be beautiful.’ From then on, I literally accepted
the skin I’m in: I’m disabled. I have RDEB. It can be devastating, but it
does not define me. My body may be limited, but my mind never is.

That day started like all the days before it. Wake up,
wash my face, brush my teeth. But that day – one
moment, really – changed my life. I was just at home,
when I tripped over. An excruciating pain ripped
through my leg. Looking down, my kneecap had
dislocated. The image is still vivid in my mind.
After that, my leg was strapped up for months.
I was waiting to get physiotherapy, but still every day
my leg kept feeling stiffer – until eventually I couldn’t
bend my knee. I was only 10, yet I’d lost control of my
body. To try to regain mobility, I spent weeks at a time
hooked up to a machine that kept my leg in motion.
When I wasn’t, I relied on a crutch to get around.
I resented it. Looking at myself in the mirror with the
crutch by my side, I hated it. I hated how the girl I was
before the accident was gone.
The next few years were disrupted by tests, scans
and surgeries. I was poked and prodded as doctors
tried to work out what was wrong with my leg. Finally,
I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis, a condition that
causes joints to become painful and stiff. That trip,
that seemingly insignificant fall, had been the trigger.
At 12 years old, osteoarthritis wasn’t a condition
I knew anything about. That’s just something old
people get, right? It’s a stigma I’ve faced every single
day since being diagnosed. Strangers come up to me
in the street and ask why I’m using a crutch. When
I tell them I have arthritis, they don’t believe me.
Or worse, they tell me that I’m ‘too young’ so I must
be mistaken. Honestly, I really wish I was.

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STYLING: MADDY ALFORD. HAIR: LAURA CHADWICK. MAKE-UP: THEMBI MKANDLA.
MAKE-UP ASSISTANT: MOLLY PAYNE. ADDITIONAL ITEMS: NIPPLE PETALS WORN
THROUGHOUT, BOUX AVENUE; NUDE THONGS WORN THROUGHOUT, WACOAL

Not only is there a stigma around arthritis, but also when it comes to being
disabled at my age. Arthritis is a somewhat invisible condition, so my pain is often
minimised by those who don’t understand. People question whether I’m really in as
much pain as I say I am, but they don’t realise that I can’t walk long distances, that
I haven’t been able to run in a decade, that my pain means I’ve lost the freedom to
be the 20-year-old that I am. Whenever I sit in a disabled space on the bus, I can feel
the eyes of the other passengers staring. I can hear the questions swirling in their
heads. They’re judging me. ‘Why is she sitting there?’ As soon as I stand up and use
my crutch, that perspective shifts instantly. I wish people realised that there’s no
one-size-fits-all image when it comes to what disability looks like.
Although my disability causes me pain, I’ve learned to accept that this shouldn’t
change how I feel about myself. It’s easy to get caught up with comparing my body
to others – especially with social media pushing the narrative that we all need to
look a certain way. It’s why I’m so passionate about sharing my story – being the
role model that I needed when I was a young girl staring at myself in the mirror and
hating who I saw looking back at me. I used to be so embarrassed by my crutch, but
now I embrace it. I realise that I wouldn’t be the person I am without it.

READ

EDEN-JAMES WEARS: BRA AND UNDERWEAR, BOTH SAVAGE X FENTY;
BRIEFS (WORN UNDERNEATH, JUST SEEN), TUCK IT UP

Eden-James Vickerman
Eden-James, 26, from Manchester, has had three lots of gender-affirming
surgery over three years, helping her to understand herself so much more.
Long blonde waves were flowing down my back. The feeling of hair tickling
my exposed shoulders was a new sensation and I relished it, enjoying
how my cheeks looked contoured and shimmery, my eyelids slicked with
shades of creamy brown. I was looking at the female version of myself for
the very first time. I smoothed down my tiny black dress, taking in every
inch. I knew then what I needed to do and who I needed to be.
I grew up in Preston, a northern city with no queer scene and no space
to explore my feelings about femininity. When I moved to London to study
fashion at 18, I was surrounded by gay guys but still I couldn’t relate. I started
to question, ‘Am I trans? A drag queen?’ I now know they aren’t the same, but
at the time, I didn’t. For the past five years I’d been questioning everything

Body

about my gender. Then, aged 23, I went out with a
friend who’s trans, dressed in a black dress, heels and
wig. We picked a weeknight in the Gay Village, an area
in Manchester, so it’d be quiet. I didn’t want to stand
out in case I felt awkward. I just wanted to see how I felt.
It came as a shock how much clicked into place that
night. It’s not that I’d felt uncomfortable presenting
as male, but I wasn’t fully living life. I’d finally figured
out what being trans could mean. There’s a narrative
about trans people feeling
like we’re born in the ‘wrong’
body. But for me, I’ve always
felt this is my body, I’ve never
had another one. I don’t know
what that would even feel like.
That moment set in motion
the next part of my journey.
I started taking hormones on
30 September 2019, at the
age of 24. Mentally, I felt the
effects almost instantly –
the typical characteristics of
oestrogen: more emotional,
mood swings. But at the same
time, I felt more balanced.
Eden-James started
To look at, I wasn’t female or
hormone therapy at
London Transgender
femme-presenting, so I still
Clinic, where she’s
wasn’t being seen how I felt.
now an ambassador
But I knew I was doing what
I needed to do for me.
In the following year, I had facial feminisation
surgery. Before it, my face was very masculine. The
year after it, my face changed so much. People started
addressing me as ‘miss’. Three weeks before this shoot
I had my first body surgery: breast augmentations
and liposuction. You can see some of the fresh scars in
the photos. I had fat taken from my flanks, my stomach
and inside my thighs, then my surgeon transferred
that into my hips to make me look more curvy.
After that night in Manchester, I wrote a letter to
my parents – nine sides of A4 paper, telling them how
I felt. When I gave it to them, they said they’d always
known. When I was three, I sat on my grandma’s knee
and asked her why I wasn’t a girl. I didn’t remember,
but my parents did. It’s always been there, this feeling.
I’m trans, I’m not afraid of that any more. I’m not
embarrassed when people can tell. I can’t change my
height, my shoe size or how deep my voice is. Yeah,
I’ve had surgery and take hormones, which has
changed things. But I’m still me. This is who I am,
it’s a moment in time. My body transitions with me.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

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T h e ra py

Do we
really
all need
therapy?
B Y C AT R I O N A I N N E S

I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y M A I LY D E G N A N

The importance of
looking after our
mental health has
finally become not
only accepted, but
championed. Yet, while
conversations around the
benefits of therapy have
reached the mainstream,
have we come to view
it as a catch-all ‘fix’ for
our problems? And is
it really? Catriona
Innes investigates

C o s m o p o l i ta n

91

A

ll the signs were out to get
me. The capital letters and
exclamation marks, in lurid
eye-grabbing colours, on
each billboard I passed
felt threatening. Like the
words themselves were
about to jump out of the
images and grab me. I’d
be suffocated by the loop
of a Y, the soft circle of an O.
I crouched down on the cold concrete kerb, hiding
between two parked cars. I was gasping for breath,
terrified of the rush of panic suddenly pulsing through
my body. I thought I’d just sit there for a while, until
I felt ‘safe’ again. Then, once I did, I’d push through,
and keep walking to my weekly therapy appointment
– after all, I had to. I’d been on a downward spiral for
weeks. And now this. Surely all signs I needed therapy.
Except… prior to that moment, I’d never had a panic
attack. I’d always considered myself pretty ‘well’ when
it comes to mental health. So why, I questioned later,
once home and feeling back inside my body, was
I putting myself through this? The answer: because I felt
that it was my obligation. That if I gave up, I’d have failed
somehow. After all, everyone could
benefit from therapy, right? Right…?
‘Why even happy people need
therapy’; ‘Six reasons why everyone
should go to therapy’; ‘Even if you
think you’re “normal”… you need
therapy’. It took just a simple Google
search to find pages and pages of
articles, all of this ilk and all touting
pretty much the same message. Over
on Twitter, it seems (according to
many, many tweets) everyone from
Ted Lasso to Trump supporters need
therapy. On Instagram there are memes (‘Get in, loser,
we’re going to therapy’) casually shared by your best
friend alongside therapy accounts (often run – though
not always – by real therapists) that digest everything
from ‘attachment styles’ to ‘the stages of grief’ into an
assortment of pastel-shaded infographics.
I’d absorbed all of this, alongside hearing the rave
reviews from people I knew who had, or were currently
having, therapy. I always told myself that, eventually, I’d
go. When I did, I felt a strange thrill telling people. As if
I was slurping on a green juice, or posting a gym-mirror
selfie. Look how well I can take care of myself, how
great I am. It felt – almost – like it gave me some level
of status. Only much later did I begin to consider how
f*cked up this way of thinking was, that somehow I’d
been lured into believing the act of going to therapy
alone would make me a better, more desirable person.
I’m scared to admit this. I know how many people
out there are desperately seeking help, how extremely

lucky I am that I was able to afford to see someone and
not have to battle with my GP and NHS waiting lists for
access. I’ve spoken to multiple mental health experts
(for this feature, and for others) and am painfully aware
that many people, due to a variety of factors, from their
culture to their workplace, feel forced into silence. One
that eats away at them, where they feel they cannot
voice the black and dark-grey feelings inside to anyone,
never mind a professional that they’ve never even met.
So yep, I can see it’s grossly privileged of me to say
I viewed my therapy sessions this way. Yet, this ‘halo
effect’ of what therapy could and (in my mind) most
definitely would do for me didn’t come from nowhere.
Alongside the aforementioned ultra-feminine targeted
Instagram accounts, celebrities have also added a
level of ‘glamour’ to going to therapy by spouting its
benefits in almost every celebrity profile going. The
influx of ‘therapy speak’ amid our daily conversations
(‘sounds like your boss is gaslighting you’, ‘you really
need to be better at setting boundaries’) can leave
those of us who don’t know the meaning of these words,
or how to put them into action, feeling left out. My idea
of ‘setting boundaries’ is saying no once, then being
unable to do it again for at least four days. I don’t have
a ‘self-care routine’ and I’ve watched the many, many

83% of UK Hinge users said
they’d prefer to date someone
who has gone to therapy

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C o s m o p o l i ta n

TikToks around ‘trauma dumping’ and still feel entirely
baffled as to when listening to my friend’s problems
(and yes, sometimes feeling upset by them) becomes
harmful to my own mental health.
I’ve often felt my lack of knowledge around myself
and the unexplored, buried parts of my past means I
am ‘less than’ those I see online who have seemingly
created lives where they have a good grip on their
mental health and what makes them tick. They seem
able to say ‘no’ freely and recognise the right time to cut
‘toxic’ people or behaviours out of their lives. Therapy
is hugely beneficial for many (something every expert
I spoke to for this feature agreed on), but why have I
(and it seems others – recent research from Hinge
discovered that 83% of UK users would prefer to date
someone who has gone to therapy) decided that it’s
not just beneficial, but the equivalent of the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow? That it has the ability to
transform our trauma into treasure?

READ

Recent Google search trends have shown that no
other country is searching about therapy more than
the UK. But is what we find online actually helpful?
Are our conversations glossing over the reality of
what undergoing therapy actually entails, the vast
differences in therapies and therapists and how
accessible (read: not at all) it is to everyone? As more
people than ever begin to seek it out, I was intrigued to
discover what our obsession with therapy is doing to us.

Did I delve too deep?
It felt like I was drowning in my past. Flailing and
flapping about within my deepest and darkest
memories, gripping at everything – and anything –
that could make sense. But none of it did. I couldn’t see
why I was inflicting buried pain on myself, scarring my
present day with things (I thought) I’d long left behind.
This was how I described my experience of therapy
with Professor Glenys Parry, a chartered clinical
psychologist, accredited psychotherapist and health

T h e ra py

services researcher, who –
along with a team of others –
has spent years researching
the impact of so-called ‘bad’
therapy and what can be
done to prevent it. I told her,
as she quietly listened to me
– every so often murmuring
in a comforting manner –
that I kept going, despite the
panic attack; despite finding
myself unable to pull myself
out of bed some mornings
and despite (for me, the
worst outcome of all) how
previously happy relationships
with people I loved now felt
unmanageable and tainted.
I just had to push through,
I told myself. Everyone goes
through this and then they
all emerge on the other side,
happier, calmer, shiny and
new. When I eventually did
stop going (after multiple
missed appointments), I
didn’t tell anyone. I was so
ashamed, I obviously wasn’t
‘strong’ enough to ‘fix’ myself.
I even felt a bit worried to
admit this to Professor Parry,
as if she’d tell me I had to go
back and try again, harder
this time. Thankfully, she didn’t.
‘What you’re describing isn’t
uncommon. When you start
exploring personal matters,
they can bring up some very
painful things. And, as a therapist, we’re trying to judge
what’s the appropriate type of therapy, and how to
keep someone safe within so it isn’t going to push
them into something unbearable,’ she explains. ‘A lot of
therapists mean well, but what happens is they get out
of their depth, so they don’t really understand what’s
happening or they choose an inappropriate method
for the person they’re working with.’
She explains that it’s not that I should expect to
go to therapy and it all be simple. It does dredge up
stuff and that is incredibly hard. So the conversations
I discovered online, when I looked to see whether others
had gone through similar, that discuss how it can be an
ordeal but that’s just part of the process, are – in some
ways – right. But in my case (and it turns out others), the
problem was more the lack of control and structure with
what I was discussing and dealing with. I felt like my
head had been wrenched open, everything spilling out,
but I had no idea how to deal with what had emerged.
‘You’re pulling into focus things that you have warded

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T h e ra py

Our mixed-up minds

off – but it’s your therapist’s job to make it possible for
you to [process those things],’ says Professor Parry,
who went on to explain that I was right to stop and
that for therapy to have the desired outcome, there
needs to be a ‘strong, therapeutic alliance’ between
both therapist and patient.
This involves an agreement on the goals of your
therapy, why you’re doing it and what you want to
achieve. Whereas I just googled ‘cheap therapy in
my area’ and hoped for the best. ‘There are lots of
reasons why therapy can go wrong. Everyone focuses
on abusive therapists – where it’s downright wrong and
unprofessional – and that does need to be addressed.
But a lot of the time [when therapy goes wrong], it
doesn’t cause long-term harm.’ She was keen to
stress that ‘most people do benefit from therapy’ and
I shouldn’t let what happened frighten me off – it’s
about finding the right person, format and structure. It
was comforting and affirmed my decision to stop those
particular sessions. Yet, I was beginning to realise that –
despite my experience – the societal pressure to seek
support (in the form of therapy) could’ve been what I,
and so many others, needed all along…

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Usually, when I’m writing a
feature on one topic, familiar
patterns will begin to emerge
that I can investigate, shape
into a strong discussion and
then (hopefully) find some
form of solution or conclusion
to the most common themes.
When it comes to therapy, this
hasn’t been the case. At all.
Every person I spoke to for this
feature had a different story to
tell. There was the woman with
a chronic pain condition who,
with a lack of options, turned
to a popular online therapy
service, only to discover (thanks
to some suspiciously hidden
small print) that her discounted
rate due to her lower income
would only last three months.
They’d automatically deducted
the full amount from her bank
account, causing her a huge
amount of anguish at an
already tough time. Then there
was the woman who found
herself back at her GP, being
offered CBT for the sixth time
despite knowing unequivocally
that, while it worked for others,
it didn’t work for her. There
were a few who told me that
‘shopping around’ for a suitable
therapist was too exhausting, that they’d tried a few,
found it horrendous having to start all over again
when someone wasn’t right for them, and that ended
up halting them before they even began. There was the
woman who confessed that, while she tells her friends to
go to therapy, she’s never been. As for those who seek
out advice online, there was one who discovered that
as soon as she stopped following all the infographic
therapy accounts, she immediately felt better, as she
didn’t feel that constant pressure to examine each
individual feeling that passed her way. But then there
was the person who discovered and managed to push
for their diagnosis after seeing an influencer on social
media discuss theirs. And countless others who had
overwhelmingly positive experiences with therapy.
It’s this that makes discussing therapy so damn
slippery. There are so many reasons and circumstances
driving each of us to feel we need it. ‘I know a lot
of people are interested in therapy for personal
development rather than “needing” it for their mental
health,’ explains Professor Parry. ‘There are some
people who want therapy but don’t need it, but by
the same token others, who could be said to “need”

therapy, don’t want it. Some people’s mental health
issues are so severe and complex that, for example,
while in a psychotic or manic episode, they find it
impossible to tolerate any formal psychotherapy.’
Then there’s the access problem. When I spoke
to Rosie Weatherley, mental health charity Mind’s
information content manager, about this, she
discussed what change they’d like to see in the system
and how difficult that can actually be in practice.
‘We want people to have more choice in treatment
options as a whole – from therapy [to] medication,’
she says. ‘[But] there are many barriers you might
experience while finding a therapist. On the NHS, there
are often long waiting lists for treatment and you might
be very limited in the choices over the type you get, the
length of time, which therapist you see and how you
receive it. Some therapy offered might not be flexible

So despite our feeds painting this picture that we’re
all delighted to share our mental health journeys, this
just isn’t the case. A recent study, based on a survey of
more than 17,000 people across the UK, found that one
in five of us won’t seek professional care for six months,
if ever. The reasons for this varied from being afraid of
what workplaces could think to believing they could
deal with it alone. Every expert I spoke to agreed that
talking about what helps us, and being more open, has
a direct impact on those who really do need support,
as they feel more able to go out and seek it.
So yes, the commodification of therapy online often
glosses over the reality of it. It could cause us to seek it
out in the wrong places, from the wrong people, at the
wrong time. We also have to be careful when following
therapists on social media. (Mind warned that there’s
a lot of misinformation surrounding mental health
online.) But this all makes
it even more necessary
to share our open and
honest accounts of what
therapy is really like, with
the conversation moving
from ‘everyone needs
therapy’ to ‘everyone
needs to find the right
mental health support
for them’. Sharing what
works for one person
and knowing it might look
different for someone
else. After all, our experiences and the support we will
need for them is as unique as our fingerprints.
I don’t regret going to therapy. I still think fondly of
my therapist and miss her sometimes. There are useful
insights I learned about myself that I still carry with me
and which help. I just wish I hadn’t gone into the process
so unaware of the impact it might have on me. Most of
all, I wish I hadn’t gone into therapy thinking it would ‘fix’
me. As that implies that I was broken in the first place.
In an ideal world, not only would the necessary
mental health support be available to us – be it
therapy, medication or something else entirely
– but the messaging surrounding that support
would be more nuanced. That it isn’t a cure,
simply a tool to carry with us. When it comes to the
tangled, complex workings of our minds, we aren’t
a project to be made perfect and completed. We
are simply on a journey – where nothing is linear.

The commodification of
therapy that we see online
often glosses over the reality
in terms of the hours it operates, with many people in
full-time work or with caring responsibilities not able
to access it. Even if the therapy is right, it might have
other gaps. You might find that a therapist is not trained
to consider your culture, background or trauma.’
With so many considerations and barriers in place,
is it any wonder that we seek out and spout simplistic
answers? That we try to absorb our information
on mental health from three-minute TikToks and
infographics? For many of us, the techniques may
be bite-size, but we simply don’t have access to the
full meal. The average private therapy session can
cost anything from £40 to £120 per hour. The official
waiting list for NHS mental health care stands at 1.6
million people, including 374,000 under 18s. Those
living in households in the lowest 20% income bracket
are two to three times more likely to develop mental
health problems than those in the highest. The Royal
College of Psychiatrists says that the pandemic has
led to unprecedented demand and backlog, with
services struggling to keep up. That’s not even taking
into account the endless news cycle, our doomscrolls
now filled with war, the increased cost of living, stories
of horrific racism and antisemitism, transphobia and
violence against women – all of which will affect us
differently, depending on how directly impacted we
are by these circumstances.

BEHIND THE SCENES I WAS ALWAYS INTERESTED IN WHETHER
THE FACT THAT MY THERAPIST REMINDED ME OF MY MUM (WHO
DIED WHEN I WAS 19) WAS AN UNCONSCIOUS REASON WHY I
CHOSE HER. PROFESSOR PARRY EXPLAINED THAT PEOPLE DO
CHOOSE THERAPISTS, OR DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR
THERAPISTS, THAT CAN RE-ENACT ISSUES WITH THEIR PARENTS.
THIS IS KNOWN AS ‘TRANSFERENCE’ AND CAN BE, WITH THE
RIGHT THERAPIST, USED VERY EFFECTIVELY TO HELP YOU
UNDERSTAND YOUR PAST AND WHY YOU’RE DRAWN TO
PEOPLE WITH THESE CHARACTERISTICS AND BEHAVIOURS.

How to find
the right
therapist
Mind shares
its advice…

Research the
right type
If you’re seeking
help from the NHS
or a charity, you
might not have
much choice. But
if you’re going
private, you
might have more
available to you.
Look into
qualifications
It’s a good idea
to look for a
therapist who is
registered with a
professional body
such as the British
Association for
Counselling and
Psychotherapy
(BACP).
Therapy
environment
This could be
online, over the
phone, in person
or even outside.
Think about what
environment you
feel comfortable
in. Consider if you
want a therapist of
a certain gender
or similar religious
background,
or one you can
get to via public
transport.
FOR MORE INFO, VISIT
MIND.ORG.UK

C o s m o p o l i ta n

95

The change in season calls for a change in our beauty routines,
from sweat-proof formulas to soothing heat protectors. The
Cosmopolitan team have been busy swatching and swiping
the latest product launches to bring you the very best beauty
products that’ll see you through the warmer months
W O R D S B Y V I C T O R I A J O W E T T, K E E K S R E I D & H A N N A I B R A H E E M

PHOTOGR APHY BY DE N N I S PE DE RS E N

B e a u t y Awa rd s

Body

SUN CREAM

From smoothing scrubs to glowy skin-enhancers

Holland & Barrett
Mineral Sunscreen
SPF30, £9.99
This non-ashy SPF gives
long-lasting protection
against UV rays. Its gentle
mineral formula makes it
ideal for sensitive skin.

LIGHTWEIGHT
BODY
MOISTURISER

AFTERSUN TAN
PROLONGER

Caudalie Vinotherapist
Hyaluronic Nourishing
Body Lotion, £17.50
We’ve finally found it:
the perfect body lotion.
Non-greasy and fast
absorbing, yet deeply
hydrating and nourishing
on dry skin. Grab it now.

Garnier Ambre Solaire
Soothing After Sun 24H
Hydrating Lotion, £10
Nothing calms sunburned
skin quite like this aloe
vera lotion. It cools and
rehydrates prickly burns,
leaving limbs silky soft.

BODY OIL

GRADUAL
FAKE TAN

SHOWER OIL

Crazy Angel Gradual
Self-Tan, £12
This tan gives pale
winter skin a realistic
glow. Top up regularly to
maintain your bronze.

CeraVe Hydrating
Foaming Oil
Cleanser, £12.50
Calling all fans of
CeraVe’s cult cleansers:
this oil formula lathers
into a foaming gel to
clean and hydrate even
the most sensitive skin.

EVERYTHING
BALM

INSTANT TAN

Mirror Water Rub
Solid Balm, £25
Melt this balm with the
warmth of your hands
and slather it on to dry
elbows and knees for
intense hydration
without any stickiness.

St Tropez Instant
Glow Body
Bronzer Light, £15
A hybrid foundation
and bronzer for the body,
this cream-to-powder
formula gives skin an
immediate glow, while
blurring and perfecting.

LONG-LASTING
FAKE TAN

BODY WASH

BODY SCRUB

RAZOR

DEODORANT

Isle of Paradise
Self-Tanning Oil, £21.95
A bi-phase tanning oil
mist with hyaluronic acid,
squalane and oils to lock
in your tan and hydration.

Soapsmith Hackney
Marsh Body Wash, £28
With notes of bergamot,
sandalwood and
geranium, this smells of a
balmy summer afternoon.

Keys Soulcare Body
Polish, £25
Gritty enough to scrub
skin and packed with
lactic acid for chemical
exfoliation. It’s a 10/10.

Gillette Venus Pubic
Hair & Skin Razor, £10
This razor has a defence
bar to ensure the blades
barely touch the skin, so
no more post-shaving
bumps or ingrown hairs.

Pacifica Coconut
Cream Clean, £13
A natural deodorant
made with baking soda
and enzymes to fight
odour, and arrowroot
powder to absorb sweat.

Mutha Body Oil, £80
Applying this product
when you step out of
the shower results in
unrivalled suppleness,
thanks to the concoction
of essential vitamins
that aid with both skin
elasticity and firmness.

RICH BODY
CREAM

Dizziak Body
Conditioner, £20
Hydration heavyweights
such as shea butter and
inca inchi provide an
instant dose of moisture.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

97

B e a u t y Awa rd s

LONG-WEAR
PRIMER

e-

HIGH-END LONGWEAR MASCARA

c
s,
te y
and cherry
Exa Jump Start
Smoothing Primer, £32
This semi-matte primer
blurs pores and evens out
texture pre-foundation. It’s
so smooth and melts into
the skin, keeping make-up
locked down all day.

LIGHTWEIGHT
SKIN TINT

Rose Inc Skin Enhance
Tinted Serum, £36
Bridging the gap
between skincare and
make-up, this tinted serum
provides a sheer, glowy
coverage wrapped up in
hyaluronic acid to plump
and nourish the skin.

MATTE
FOUNDATION

LIP LINER

d
s,

NYX Professional
Makeup Line Loud
Lip Liner, £8
The liner’s pigment lasts all
day, even through meals.
Use to define your lips or
apply all over and finish
with a gloss. Sublime.

Mac Macstack
Mascara, £26
Pigmented, buildable
and clump-resistant, this
mascara is a make-up
bag staple and comes
with two brush options.

HIGH-STREET
LONG-WEAR
MASCARA

FALSE LASHES

LONG-WEAR
BROW SETTER

SHEER LIP
COLOUR

Maybelline New York
Colossal Curl Bounce
Mascara, £10.99
If you want 24 hours of
curl, length and definition,
this vegan mascara is your
new best pal. It even lifts
straight, stubborn lashes.

Flicker Naked
Lash, £18
Flicker’s invisible band
and soft, wispy, faux-minx
lashes look so natural that
everyone will think you’ve
just been blessed with
Bambi-like length.

NYX Professional
Make-up Thick It. Stick
It! Brow Mascara, £11
We’ve never met a NYX
brow gel we didn’t love.
The all-new vegan one
tames and thickens brows,
staying put for 16 hours.

Typology Tinted
Lip Oil, £15.90
This formula can be worn
alone for a subtle wash of
colour or layered on top
of your lipstick to amp
up the finish. Plus, it isn’t
a sticky hair magnet.

BRIGHT EYELINER

EYESHADOW
PALETTE

BRONZER

NAIL INNOVATION

SHINESTOPPING FACE
POWDER
E.l.f. Cosmetics
Camo Powder, £11
Velvety soft and
smooth (no, we’re not
on about your fave
cashmere jumper),
this creamy powder
foundation blitzes
shine and blurs skin.

SATIN
FOUNDATION
Nars Light Reflecting
Foundation, £37.50
A make-up-skincare
hybrid, this foundation
suits all skin types.
If you’re oily, it won’t
leave you overly dewy;
if you’re dry, it feels
like a nourishing
skincare serum.

BOLD LIP
COLOUR
Fenty Beauty
Icon Semi-Matte
Lipstick, £18
A bad matte lipstick
can put you off mattes
forever, but this Fenty
drop will convert you
back. The pigment is
unrivalled, application
is flawless and lasting
power is impressive.

GLOWY BLUSH

Estée Lauder
Double Wear Sheer
Foundation, £35.50
The lightweight version
of the cult favourite.
Summer skin: sorted.

Anastasia Beverly
Hills Norvina
Chroma Stix, £13
Available in 16 colourful
shades, this waterproof
eyeliner gives us all the
Euphoria make-up vibes.

Urban Decay Wild
Greens Palette, £39.50
Sure, go wild with the
palette’s green hues, but
it has a great selection
of neutral shades, too.

CONCEALER

WATERPROOF
LIQUID LINER

CREASEFREE CREAM
EYESHADOW

Rare Beauty Warm
Wishes Effortless
Bronzer, £22
Available in five shades,
from sandy brown to
deep terracotta bronze,
this cream-to-powder
stick glides on effortlessly.

Mylee Magic Gel
Polish Remover, £10
Removing gel polish is the
worst, but this has made
at-home nail care so much
easier. Swipe on and your
gels dissolve in 6 minutes.

GLOW CHEATER

CHIP-FREE
NAIL POLISH

Seeds of Colour
Natural Make-up
Balm, £21
A smooth natural
pigment that is the
perfect all-over colour
hit for those lazy
no-make-up-make-up
days. The pigment
is great, but the best
part is how nourishing
it feels on the eyes,
cheeks and lips.

SETTING SPRAY

Kvd Beauty Good
Apple Concealer, £23
A high-coverage formula
that doesn’t go cakey. Our
tip? Let it sit on skin for 30
seconds before blending.

98

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Lancôme Idôle Ultra
Precise Waterproof
Eyeliner, £19.50
The ultra-thin 0.1mm tip
and inky-black formula
means this liner gives the
perfect wing every time.

Bobbi Brown Cream
Shadow Stick, £25
The iconic product is now
available in new shades,
just in time for fun summer
looks. It’s blendable but
doesn’t budge once set.

Saie Glowy
Super Gel, £22
Apply as a primer, mix
with your foundation or
blend into cheekbones.
You’ll glow whichever way.

Rimmel Kind & Free
Clean Nail Polish, £5.99
The plant-based nail
polish is available in all
the best shades, from
poppy red to milky pink.

Ciate Watermelon
Burst Spray, £18
With watermelon
fruit extract and
niacinamide, this
setting spray is as
good for your skin
as it is for the staying
power of your make-up.
It gives a natural
dewy finish, too.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

99

100

C o s m o p o l i ta n

B e a u t y Awa rd s

DETOX
SHAMPOO

BLOW-DRY
BOOSTER

Redken
Amino-Mint
Shampoo, £19.50
If you take one
product on holiday,
make it this one. The
formula helps blitz
build-up from the
roots and balances
the scalp’s pH.

ROOT
REFRESHER
Batiste Naturally
Dry Shampoo, £4.25
Batiste’s newest
formula uses
natural rice starch
to absorb excess oils
without stripping
the hair’s moisture.

Arkive The New Form
Blow Dry Spray, £13
Give limp strands a bit
of backbone with this
lightweight mist. It gives
your hair a flexible and
accumulative hold,
which makes it easier to
manage, while ensuring
that your styles stay put.

Hair
Sun-parched
strands? Not on
our watch. Condition,
protect and nourish
your tresses with
these gloss-giving
essentials

HYDRATING HAIR
SERUM

CURL-BOOSTING
GEL

JVN Complete Instant
Recovery Serum, £24
This nourishing and
protecting serum for
all hair types gives
a super-smooth finish.
Work it through the
lengths of your hair and
watch the tangles
disappear immediately.

Bumble & Bumble Bb.
Curl Gel Pomade, £25
You can use this
versatile, silicone-free
jelly on damp curls for
a wash-and-go style or
on any frizz that crops
up between washes.
It gives an excellent,
bouncy hold – with
no flakes in sight.

HAIRSPRAY

CURL-DEFINING
CREAM

HAIR-SMOOTHING
GLOSS

DRY SCALP
SOOTHER

LEAVE-IN
CONDITIONER

Schwarzkopf Ceramide
Hairspray, £4.50
The ceramide-rich
formula helps the hair’s
cuticle to lie flat, which
ensures a silky-smooth
result. Oh, and did we
mention it gives strands
48 hours of hold? Totally
amazing and so easy
to brush out, too.

It’s A 10 Coily Miracle
Curl Cream, £23
Soft definition is the
vibe with this non-greasy
and non-hardening curl
cream. It moisturises and
gives coils a fresh, frizzfree feel. Whether your
coils are fine or thick, if
they’re thirsty, they’ll
truly love this cream.

OGX Frizz-Free+
Keratin Smoothing Oil
Miracle Gloss, £7.50
When misted on to damp
or dry hair, this clever
spray does everything
its name suggests: it
smooths those pesky
flyaways and gives
strands a lasting,
mirror-like gloss.

Head & Shoulders
DermaXPro Soothing
Relief With Aloe, £9.99
As the weather heats up,
flake-prone scalps may
flare-up. But fear not: this
soothing balm infused
with aloe, vitamin E and
cactus extract will help
to calm things down in
a matter of minutes.

Garnier No-Rinse
Conditioner, £6.99
A conditioner that you
don’t rinse off? We know,
it sounds weird. But stay
with us. The genius vegan
product (made from 98%
natural-origin ingredients)
leaves your hair soft and
shiny, saving up to 100
litres of water per tube.

REPAIRING
SHAMPOO &
CONDITIONER

RICH REPAIR
MASK

DRY VOLUME
SPRAY

SCALP
SCRUB

HAIR COLOUR
REFRESHER

GLOSSY HAIR OIL

L’Oréal Paris Elvive
Hydra [Hyaluronic]
Shampoo and
Conditioner, £5.99
If your hair struggles
to retain moisture, this
weightless duo infuses
your locks with added
hyaluronic acid to
hydrate and improve
bounciness and shine
until your next hair wash.

Andrew Fitzsimons
Virgin Repair Moisture
Mask, £13
With Megan Fox and
Khloé Kardashian as
regular clients, Andrew
Fitzsimons sees what
hair can go through.
Made from strengthening
ceramides and castor oil,
it detangles and revives
dry, damaged lengths.

Living Proof Full Dry
Volume & Texture
Spray, £28
Shake the bottle, spritz
the product on to dry
hair and massage it in.
Voilà: your second-day
hair has instant volume
and salon-worthy texture
in just a few seconds. It
also works to help lightly
absorb oil, too.

Noughty Detox Dynamo
Clarifying Scalp
Scrub, £8.99
Healthy hair starts with
a healthy scalp. Massage
this vegan pre-shampoo
scrub into your roots once
a week to help shift any
follicle-clogging sebum,
pollution and dead skin
cells. Your scalp will
thank you for it.

Glaze Super Colour
Conditioning Gloss,
£12.99
Summer can be a killer
for colour, but this gloss
revives dull-looking hues
in just 10 minutes, leaving
your locks luminous and
super-soft. It’s available
in nine natural shades,
from honey blonde to
sleek espresso.

Sol de Janeiro Glossy
Nourishing Hair Oil, £33
The iconic tropical Sol de
Janeiro scent is infused
into this frizz-calming
finishing product. Apply
it to your hair for a glossy
look and you’ll smell like
summer until your next
hair wash. Plus, it
provides up to 230°C
heat protection.

HYDRATING
SHAMPOO &
CONDITIONER
The Ordinary 4%
Sulphate Cleanser
& Behentrimonium
Chloride 2%
Conditioner,
£6.80 each
The Ordinary has
concocted our
dream everyday
shampoo and
conditioner: gentle,
scalp-friendly
formulas with
an affordable
price tag.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

101

MAKE-UP
BRUSH KIT
Vieve The Edit
Make-up Brush
Set, £100
Jamie Genevieve’s
synthetic brushes
mimic natural bristles
to ensure perfect
make-up application.
The set contains
our five faves to
cover all bases.

SKIN INNOVATION

CurrentBody LED
Eye Perfector,
£199
Our eye areas are more
prone to premature
ageing than anywhere
else (due to the skin
being thinner), but this
LED eye mask helps
to target all signs.

CURLING TONG

GHD Curve Thin
Wand, £139
Measuring just
14mm, this is GHD’s
thinnest barrel to date.
It reaches an optimum
temperature of 185°C,
heats up in 30 seconds
and creates bouncy
curls with all hair types.

1 02

C o s m o p o l i ta n

B e a u t y Awa rd s

Tools
&
kit

DETANGLING
HAIRBRUSH

Beauty
pros, we’ve
got you
WetBrush Go Green
Detangler, £14.99
This biodegradable
brush has flexible bristles,
which unravel knots
without tugging.

BLOW-DRY BRUSH

BEACHY WAVER

Fragrance
Sunshine scents for beach to cocktail bar

FLORAL
FRAGRANCE

T3 Airebrush
Duo, £170
Blow-dry brushes are
all over socials – with
good reason. Attach
the round brush for a
J-Lo-style blow-out or
use the standard brush
for a liquid hair finish
à la Kim Kardashian.

BaByliss 9000
Cordless Wand,
£180
How annoying is it when
you’re trying to wave the
back of your head and
the cord keeps hitting
your face? You don’t
have to worry about that
with this new waver.

MULTI-STYLING
TOOL

SMOOTHING
STRAIGHTENER

Dyson AirWrap
Multi-Styler, £479.99
The AirWrap has
had an intelligent
upgrade with several
new attachments,
including curling barrels
that switch direction so
you don’t have to change
them over. Result.

Cloud Nine The Wide
Iron Pro, £249
All the power
of the Cloud Nine
technology with bigger
plates for quicker
styling. The ceramic
plates stop snags and
keep hair smooth
and flyaway-free.

Miss Dior Rose
Essence Eau
de Parfum,
£136 for 100ml
Close your eyes and
you could truly be in
a sunny, rose-filled field
in Grasse after misting
this scent. Divine.

FRESH
FRAGRANCE
Byredo De Los
Santos Eau de Parfum,
£182 for 100ml
Unlike any other summer
scent we’ve smelt, there’s
a light touch of musk
mixed with warm woody
cedar and herby sage
in this one. There’s a soft
yet airy sweetness to
every drop, like clean
skin on a summer day.

AROMATIC
FRAGRANCE

Guerlain Aqua
Allegoria Nerolia
Vetiver, from £83
Uplifting neroli, warm
fig, crisp basil and
heady vetiver give this
balmy fragrance its
freshness. It smells like
a summer garden.

SWEET
FRAGRANCE

WOODY
FRAGRANCE

Chloé Nomade Eau
de Parfum Naturelle,
from £82
A 100% natural scent.
Sweet notes of vanilla
and dates team with
soft sandalwood, rich
jasmine and oakmoss.

Leighton Denny
Encourage Eau De
Parfum, £29.99
Top notes of creamy
vanilla and delicate
lemon balm meet
warm amber and
patchouli at the base.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

1 03

B e a u t y Awa rd s

Skincare

SOOTHING FACE
MIST

LIGHT
CLEANSER

Fresh Rose Instant
Hydration Mist, £20
For a post-facial glow
without setting foot in
a spa, this mist is the
one. It refines pores and
brightens the skin in
a matter of seconds.

Byoma Creamy
Jelly Cleanser,
£9.99
As three wise women
once sang, ‘I don’t
think you’re ready for
this jelly.’ Lather two
pumps on to damp
skin and watch
as it breaks your
make-up down,
without that tight
feeling you get
with slightly more
industrial cleansers.

Glow from sunrise
to sunset with
these complexion
caretakers
L’Oréal Paris Revitalift
Laser Retinol +
Niacinamide
Night Cream, £28
This clever tub hits the
sweet spot of effective
ingredients and
affordable price.

DEPUFFING EYE
CREAM

104

DARK SPOT
TREATMENT

MOISTURISING
FACE MASK

LASH SERUM
LIGHTWEIGHT
MOISTURISER

Dermalogica
Awaken Peptide
Eye Gel, £55
This gel formula feels
refreshing on tired eyes
while rosemary leaf
extract makes you look
well-rested – even if
you’re not really.

Garnier Vitamin C
Anti-Dark Spot
Serum, £11.99
Vitamin C, salicylic
acid and niacinamide
work to improve
the appearance
of dark spots and
enhance glow.

Pai Skincare
Resurrection
Girl Hydrating
Mask, £44
This balmy thick mask
is a comfort blanket for
aggravated skin. Blue
tansy oil soothes while
hyaluronic acid hydrates.

Tatti Lashes The
Ultimate Enhancing
Lash Serum,
£36.95
Sure, we love our falsies,
but after a few weeks
of use, this conditioning
serum gives natural
length and curl.

HYDRATING
SERUM

FACE SPF

NOURISHING LIP
BALM

FACE TAN

Face Gym Liftwear
Vitamin C +
Bioferment GelCream, £50
With a triple
brightening complex
of Vitamin C,
niacinamide and
amber microalgae
this light, dewy
moisturiser gives
skin a muchappreciated, lifted,
hydrated glow.

REPAIRING
MOISTURISER
Scientia Ceramide
Skin Rescue
Moisture Barrier
Balm, £28
Gone overboard
with your acids? Don’t
fret, we’ve all been
there. This formula
is packed with
five ceramides to
help rebuild the
skin barrier. Consider
it a hug in a tube.

Perricone MD High
Potency Hyaluronic
Intensive Hydrating
Serum, £79
This melts into skin and
ups hydration to no end.
Tightness is nowhere
to be seen.

La Roche-Posay
Anthelios UVmune
400 Invisible Fluid
SPF50, £18
This genius new SPF
protects skin from UVA
rays linked with premature
skin ageing.

Ultra Violette Sheen
Screen Hydrating Lip
Balm SPF50, £16
With shea butter to soften
lips and cacao seed
butter to seal in moisture,
this balm is pretty
and practical.

Tan-Luxe
The Crème, £39
Everything from the
chic packaging to the
formula’s nourishing
golden glow makes
this gradual face
tanner our new fave.

SMOOTHING
SERUM

DETOX FACE MASK

RICH CLEANSER

SPF INNOVATION

GLOW-BOOSTING
SERUM

Simple Booster Serum
10% Niacinamide
Vitamin B3,
£7.99
A skincare hero that
smooths and protects
the skin barrier.

Green People
Purifying Face
Mask, £22
A cleansing mask with
activated charcoal and
bentonite clay to draw
toxins out of pores.

Evolve Kalahari
Dream Cleansing
Oil, £20
Loaded with squalane,
this oil works as an
anti-inflammatory to
reduce any redness.

Supergoop! (Re)setting
Powder, £28
A mattifying mineral face
powder with SPF35 =
total genius. Oh, it
has a built-in brush for
on-the-go top-ups, too.

Beauty Pie
Youth Bomb 360°
Serum, £22.75
(members’ price)
Formulated by derms,
this serum provides that
I-just-got-a-facial glow.

C o s m o p o l i ta n

GUTTER CREDIT

OVERNIGHT SKIN
TREATMENT

C o s m o p o l i ta n

105

Sunshine
P H O T O G R A P H Y B Y B E N W AT T S

FA S H I O N B Y K R I S T E N I N G E R S O L L

Vacay fashio
on
is b ack and
we’rre here for
it. From bikiniss
and bucket hats
to crochet and
cute cover-ups,
the go o d vib es
start here
e…

THIS PAGE:
Alessandra wears:
swimsuit, £49.99, Mango;
handkerchief, £18, and
earrings, £12, both
Urban Outfitters
OPPOSITE PAGE:
Fo wears: swimsuit,
£145, Ganni; hat, £9.99,
H&M; bracelets, from
£55, and rings, from
£20, all Pandora

Calling
106

C o s m o p o l i ta n

THIS PAGE: Alessandra wears: bikini top, £88, and bikini bottoms, £88, both Solid & Striped. Fo wears: bikini top,
£88, and bikini bottoms, £88, both Solid & Striped. Both wear: rings, £3.99, H&M; earrings, Mignonne Gavigan
OPPOSITE PAGE: Alessandra wears: bikini top, £35.99, and bikini bottoms,
£19.99, both Mango; hat, £3.99, necklace, £6.99, and rings, £3.99, all H&M

108

C o s m o p o l i ta n

THIS PAGE: Fo wears: bikini top, £92, and bikini bottoms, £92, both Solid & Striped; necklace, £6.99, H&M
OPPOSITE PAGE: Fo wears: top, £12.99, bikini top, £9.99, bikini bottoms, £9.99, and necklace, £6.99, all H&M.
Alessandra wears: dress, around £175, Solid & Striped; hat, £22, Urban Outfitters; necklace, £85,
Veronique Gabai at Liberty London; bracelets, £6.99, H&M

C o s m o p o l i ta n

111

OPPOSITE PAGE: Fo wears: swimsuit, £205, and hat, £80, both Frankies Bikinis; bracelets, £6.99, and rings, £3.99, both H&M.
Alessandra wears: bikini top, £105, and bikini bottoms, £96, both Frankies Bikinis; necklace, £9.99, H&M; rings, from £20, all Pandora

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C o s m o p o l i ta n

HAIR: EURI MARTIN AT CREATIVE MANAGEMENT. MAKE-UP: GINA SIMONE AT CREATIVE MANAGEMENT. MODELS: ALESSANDRA GARCIA AT IMG;
FO PORTER AT JAG MODELS. GLOBAL EDITORIAL & BRAND DIRECTOR: CHLOE O’BRIEN. LOCATION: THE MOORINGS VILLAGE, ISLAMORADA

THIS PAGE: Alessandra wears: bikini top, £22, and bikini bottoms, £14, both ASOS; bag, £39, Urban Outfitters;
rings, from £20, all Pandora

o
t
e
b
i
r
c
s
b
u
S

COSMOPOLITAN
DIGITAL EDITION

AVAILABLE ON THESE DEVICES:

HEARSTMAGAZINES.CO.UK
OR VISIT ANY OF THESE STORES

l ove

Inclusive sex toys
are taking over…
…and they’re very, very effective
B Y M E G A N W A L L A C E A N D J I L L H A M I LT O N
C o s m o p o l i ta n

115

LOV E

S ex toy s

W

hether it’s a
wand with all
the bells and
whistles or a
pocket-sized,
trusty bullet vibrator, it’s no
secret that the world loves sex
toys. Sales are booming, too,
with the global sexual wellness
market expected to be worth
around £29 billion by 2024
– talk about good vibrations.
But that’s not to say that sex
toys appeal to everyone just
yet: it’s still quite common for
marketing and packaging to
make divisions between ‘male’
and ‘female’ toys, erasing the
experiences of trans and nonbinary people. And then there’s
the fact that the majority of
sex toys aren’t designed with
people of all abilities in mind:
for example, they might not
work hands-free, or they don’t
have any adaptable options for
disabled users. Luckily, all this
looks like it’s about to change
for the better. The industry is
waking up to the needs of its
increasingly diverse audience.
Many companies – such as the
female-founded Dame and the
tech-turbocharged Lelo – are
giving sexual wellness a muchneeded makeover, one toy at a
time. Welcome to a new world
of inclusive sex positivity.

Hands-free
vibration

116

C o s m o p o l i ta n

There are endless ways to use hands-free toys – and
getting creative is highly encouraged. We-Vibe’s
Sync couples vibrator is the perfect place to begin,
offering up app-controlled bliss as well as dreamy
clitoral stimulation that extends to the other person,
too, during partnered sex. It has flexible ‘wings’ that
tuck under your labia and hold the toy in place, so it
vibrates on your clitoris. For people with penises, Hot
Octopuss’s Pulse Solo Essential is a solid choice: just put
your member inside and let the vibrating central plate
do its thing, with or without an erection. And, finally,
You2Toys has come out with an ingenious ‘vibe pad’: pull
up a chair, pop it under your bum and catch a vibe.

Sync Vibrator, £119,
We-Vibe, amazon.co.uk

Pulse Solo Essential,
£89.95, Hot Octopuss,
hotoctopuss.com

Eva II Hands-Free
Rechargeable Clitoral
Vibrator, £139.99, Dame,
lovehoney.co.uk

Vibe Pad, £101.99, You2Toys,
feelgoodstore.co.uk

LOV E

Sex
furniture

Wedges,
ramps and
holders

Nongendered
gadgets

Toys
that suck

PHOTOGRAPHY: BETH SACCA

(in the best
possible way)

Much more fun than your average IKEA flat-pack, these
sex swings and chairs are perfect for getting into just the
right position. Start with Sportsheets’ Sex Swing Door Jam
Kit: pop it over the top of a closed door frame and open up
a world of suspended sex positions… just make sure you
read the instructions first. You can also make your more
ambitious fantasies a reality with Lovehoney’s Bondage
Boutique sex position-enhancing chair. Thanks to its extra
support and bounce, you’ll be sitting pretty, having the
sex of your dreams. Or are you looking for a piece of kit
that puts your needs first? Admittedly, it’s a bit spendy,
but IntimateRider’s Sex Chair legit does the thrusting
for you, with minimal upper-torso movement needed.

With sex wedges helping you to hit the right angles and
sex toy holders opening up a world of hands-free pleasure,
a little help goes a long way towards upgrading your sex
life. Lovehoney’s Hands-Free Sex Toy Holder is simple
but game-changing: it has two sturdy Velcro straps to
lock your vibrator in place and a super-strong suction
cup that helps your toy stay up without you holding it.
Liberator’s Sex Position Wedge is another great choice.
It’s slanted at a 27 degree angle, so whoever lies on it can
receive deeper, more targeted penetration (front or back)
from a penis or strap-on. Another Liberator gem is the
BonBon Toy Mount, which boasts a hands-free toy slot,
if you fancy adding a dildo or a vibrator into the mix.

S ex toy s

Sex Swing Door Jam
Kit, £64.99, Sportsheets,
lovehoney.co.uk
Bondage Boutique Sex
Position Enhancer Chair,
£79.99, Lovehoney,
lovehoney.co.uk

Sex Chair, £400.22,
IntimateRider, livingspinal.com

Hands-Free Sex Toy
Holder, £19.99, Lovehoney,
lovehoney.co.uk

Sex Position Wedge, £99.99,
Liberator, lovehoney.co.uk

BonBon Toy Mount, £99.99,
Liberator, lovehoney.co.uk

If your pleasure can’t be contained by labels, try Lelo’s
Transformer. It works like a piece of silicone string with
small, vibrating bits at each end that are safe to use
externally and internally. Shape-shifting is its superpower:
you can wrap it around a penis for a makeshift cock ring,
switch up partnered play as a double-ended dildo, or use
it as a rabbit vibrator. Or are you looking for something
more discreet? May we introduce Dame’s Fin: a small
vibrator worn between the fingers to give a loving touch
to your – or your lover’s – erogenous zones. Last, B-Vibe’s
Vibrating Jewel Plug is here to remind you that anal play
has always been gender-neutral, lavishing the wearer with
six vibration levels and 15 patterns.

Transformer, £99,
Lelo, lelo.com

Is nipple play the thing that tips you over the edge?
Lovehoney’s Perfect Pair Silicone Nipple Suckers are
your new BFFs. Made from velvety-smooth silicone, these
suction cups offer back-to-basics hands-free stimulation
while leaving your nips feeling extra sensitive. With an
eco-friendly upgrade (this model is biodegradable and
literally made from cornflour) there’s even more reason to
love Womanizer toys, which turn on for amazing oral sexlike vibrations. Last but not least, a suction vibe from the
geniuses behind the iconic Sona clitoral massager, Lelo’s
Sila has an even wider mouth so that those weak-at-theknees pressure waves can go the extra mile.

Perfect Pair Silicone Nipple
Suckers, £9.99, Lovehoney,
lovehoney.co.uk

Fin, £85, Dame,
cultbeauty.co.uk

Vibrating Jewel Plug,
£96.95, B-Vibe, prowler.co.uk

Womanizer Premium
Eco, £169.99, Womanizer,
lovehoney.co.uk

Sila, £159,
Lelo, lelo.com

C o s m o p o l i ta n

117

LOV E

M e nta l h e a l t h

How to protect
your mental health
when dating
It can be daunting putting yourself out there, knowing
the impact dating can have on your self-confidence.
Alice Snape seeks advice on your biggest questions...

LOV E

You’re not
the person
I thought
you’d be.’ His
eyes took in
my body. I
felt him recoil
as he took a
step back.
‘I’m just gonna leave,’ he said,
as I muttered an apology. I
hadn’t lived up to the photos
on my dating profile. I walked
away with that tight feeling
in my chest, willing it not to
turn into a panic attack.
What’s wrong with me?
Looking back, I’ve no
idea why I apologised to
him. I was desperate to find
someone, I guess. Riddled
with chronic anxiety, I took
his words as a truth I already
knew: I was not a person who
someone would want to date.
Sadly, I’m not alone. A recent
Cosmopolitan poll found that
61% of you have had an
experience on a date that has
negatively affected how you
feel about yourself. Plus,
research by Bumble reveals
that one in three people in
the UK have suffered racial
discrimination, fetishisation or
microaggressions when dating
online, making this an even
bigger concern for those from
marginalised communities.
Intimate connections we
have with people we date,
on apps and IRL, have a huge
impact on the way we feel
about ourselves and our
bodies. So we asked you for
your biggest concerns when
it comes to dating and mental
health, and here’s what the
experts have to say…

‘Online dating is so
demoralising, how do I ignore
the horrible comments?’

It can be tough. In our poll,
we discovered that flaws
(that don’t even exist) are
being pointed out and
people are being compared
to others on apps. Many
are finding that if they fall
outside of ‘conventional’
beauty standards, they are
being fetishised or rejected.
It’s important to remind
yourself that the people
typing those comments are
strangers who don’t know
you. ‘It’s them and not you,’
says life coach and mental
wellbeing expert Catri
Barrett. If a comment
oversteps the mark,
never feel like you have to
reply. ‘Make a dating doc
in the notes section of your
phone,’ suggests Barrett.
‘In it, list all your worth
and value that you can
refer back to when you
need a pep talk.’
‘Men call me exotic. How
can I deal with being fetishised
on dating apps?’

Fetishisation is a sexual
fascination with race,
gender, sexuality or body
type – things not inherently
sexual – and it’s something
no one should have to put
up with. ‘When someone
calls you “exotic”, or tells
you that they’re “really into”
Black or brown people,
that’s fetishising and often
comes from a legacy of
racial stereotypes,’ says
author of Raceless and
Bumble brand ambassador
Georgina Lawton. It’s up
to you whether you’re
comfortable engaging
with the person, but you
can use the app’s tools,
such as the block and
report system, says Lawton.
‘Then you know that they
will be dealt with.’

90

%
of you would never
tell a first date
about any mental
health issues

—
88

%
of you say dating
apps make you
feel terrible
about yourself

—
61

%
say your mental
health has
been negatively
affected after
speaking to
someone on
a dating app

M e nta l h e a l t h

‘I’m going on a first date,
should I tell them about
my mental health?’

Worried about being
judged? Here’s your
reminder that your mental
health is equal to your
physical health. ‘And
sharing information like this
can require a certain level
of intimacy,’ says Barrett.
‘You can be honest without
disclosing everything all
at once.’ Psychologist Dr
Tina Mistry believes it’s
important to reflect on
what values matter the
most to you. ‘Would you
respect someone who
shows vulnerability?’ she
says. ‘Because if they show
this, they’re reaching out
for care.’ And perhaps they
will feel the same about
your truth, too.
‘I’ve been burned in the past.
How do I mentally prepare
myself to start dating again?’

It’s scary to start dating
again after a bad
experience, but sadly it
could happen again. ‘Ask
yourself if you feel resilient
enough to handle rejection
right now,’ says Barrett. ‘If
the answer is no, take some
steps to work on your coping
skills before you dive back
in.’ You could also try
identifying any specific
anxieties and setting clear
boundaries. ‘Explain if you
have insecurities,’ says
therapist Jodie Cariss, and if
you want someone to avoid
commenting on something,
warn them before you meet.
Lastly, try to embrace the
uncertainty dating brings.
‘It’s temporary,’ says Mistry.
‘Once we accept that, we
can focus on now, here, this
moment.’ Meaning it might
be easier to appreciate
what’s in front of us – hello,
hot date – and easier to walk
away if it doesn’t work out.
C o s m o p o l i ta n

119

LOV E

H o l i d a y ro m a n c e

A novice’s
guide to
surviving your
first holiday
with your
significant
other
…So you don’t end up
ditching your partner
in baggage reclaim
BY M EGA N WA LL AC E

I

t’s holiday season: can you
feel it in the air? With every
approved request for time
off and frenzied late-night
Skyscanner search, we inch
that little bit closer to the ‘f*ck it’ pint in
the airport Wetherspoons – so close, we
can almost taste it. That giddy feeling at
take-off, followed by that blanket wave of
heat as you step out of arrivals. Whether
it’s a weekend away or a fortnight in the
sun, it’s a welcome respite from the endless
grind of our everything-all-the-time
lifestyles. The feeling of that muchdeserved break is so good that we can’t
help but want to share it with the people
we love – and for many of us, that means
our boy/girl/they-friends.
While going on holiday with a S/O is – in
theory – about having fun and deepening
your bond, it’s also a window into how you
might navigate other big life events as a
team. With all that in mind, is it really such
a surprise that so many of us view our first
holiday together as a major milestone?
According to research from Hotels.com,
nearly two-thirds of people believe that
the first couple’s holiday is make-or-break
material – so you’d better believe we’re
on hand to offer some advice on how to
survive, thrive and overcome common
missteps during your first getaway…

120

C o s m o p o l i ta n

Pitfall to avoid:
They love walking
around churches…
you love the beach
Combat it by: Planning your
middle ground. We all have
preferences – even if you
think you’re not fussed about
the destination or what to
see and do. It could be as
simple as you enjoy weird
and wonderful restaurants
and they prefer active,
sports-filled holidays. It’s
important to make your
expectations known and,
starting at the planning
stages, adopt a spirit of give
and take. Differences should
be celebrated – they’re what
make spending time with new
people so exciting – but they
also mean you’re unlikely
to get everything you want
100% of the time – and that
applies to your hols, too.
What to say: ‘Why don’t we
book somewhere with a mix
of both? Then we can go to
the beach and see sights.’
What not to say: ‘No I am
not compromising! Why
are you so boring?!’

Pitfall to avoid:
You’ve been together 24/7...
and you need space
Combat it by: Carving out
some alone time. Sometimes
going away with a partner for
the first time can feel like an
endurance test. You wake up
in the same bed, eat all your
meals together and spend
the day glued to each other’s
side. With all that in mind, it’s
perfectly okay to feel like you
need a break and it doesn’t
mean that you fancy your
partner any less. While it
can be tricky to broach the
conversation, especially if
you’re worried about hurting
their feelings, it’s important to
advocate for your own needs

– especially as spending a
few hours apart can provide
perspective and prevent
small issues from escalating
into bigger arguments. Our
advice? Try to keep things
non-confrontational and
suggest set things to do
and windows of time where
you can part ways and
then come back together
for a joint activity.
What to say: ‘I’m going to
recharge by the pool, how
about you head off to that
museum you mentioned
and I’ll meet you back at the
hotel for dinner later?’
What not to say: ‘PLEASE.
LEAVE. ME. ALONE.’

LOV E

Pitfall to avoid:
They’ve left the hotel
room in a state and you’re
suffering in silence
Combat it by: Allocate time
to check in and discuss.
We’ve all been there: your
S/O rubs you the wrong way,
but you don’t want to ruin
the vibe so you keep quiet.
While you may think this
avoids conflict, it can lead
to resentment. Don’t just grit
your teeth, make your voice
heard. Say it’d be good to talk
about how things have been
going. Make sure you’re open
to a calm and empathetic
conversation about your
quirks, as well as theirs.
What to say: ‘Let’s make
sure we’re on the same page
about how this is going – do
you fancy a quick catch-up?’
What not to say: Nothing!

Pitfall to avoid:
They’ve gone viral on
TikTok for dancing on the
bar after one too many
glasses of rioja

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARCO GOVEL/STOCKSY UNITED

Pitfall to avoid:
You’re two days in
and penniless thanks
to their taste in Michelinstarred restaurants
Combat it by: Be clear
on budgets before you go.
We all enjoy a treat. And,
not to judge, but your new
beau makes it look like an
extreme sport. The issue?
They want you to split the bill.
Differing pay cheques don’t
spell holiday doom, but you
do need a frank chat about
money – the kind that even
the bolshiest among us may
shy away from. Work out how
much you want to spend on

transport, accommodation,
meals and going out, and
present it to your partner –
complete with suggestions
of what you’d plan to do on
that budget, keeping in a few
things they’re keen on. If they
resist, work out a different
pay plan: rather than
splitting equally, see what
they’re happy to spend and
negotiate a percentage split.
Or perhaps they cover a few
boujier meals or activities
they’re passionate about.
What to say: ‘Can we talk about
budgets? We can go to that bar,
but let’s take public transport.’
What not to say: ‘Not everyone
has a trust fund, sweetie…’

Combat it by: Remembering
that in wine, there is no truth.
We like to let loose on hols,
but all-inclusive cocktails
can show a person’s wild
side. Talk about what ‘a few
drinks’ looks like to each of
you and remember that we’re
all different. If you know their
personality will do a 180 the
second prosecco passes
their lips, try a more sensitive
chat about boundaries
and potentially avoiding
things that revolve around
drinking. Alcohol can make
us act out of character, so be
compassionate and make
sure that all decisions are
made collaboratively.
What to say: ‘Let’s talk about last
night when you feel better...’
What not to say: ‘Even my 11-yearold cousin saw what you got up to!’

H o l i d a y ro m a n c e

Holiday
horror stories
to write home
about
We asked for
your worst couple
getaways ever and,
wow, you delivered
‘I was in a new
relationship and still
modest about, erm,
bodily functions.
On our first holiday,
I ended up getting
really bad food
poisoning. We were
in a tiny Airbnb and
I was pretty much
glued to the toilet. All
mystique and sex
appeal was gone.’
‘I went away with my
then-boyfriend and
paid for it all with the
promise it’d be paid
back later. When we
got home, he moved
away and ghosted
me. He did message
to say, “I hold you in
my memory every
day,” but clearly
didn’t care enough
to pay the debt!’
‘I tried a romantic
shower with my
girlfriend in Naples,
but the plumbing
got the best of us.
I was washing my
face and she tried
to turn up the heat,
but made it scalding.
I couldn’t see and
was screaming in
pain. It didn’t help
the sunburn, either…’
‘I took my girlfriend
to Norway for her
birthday, only to
test positive for
Covid upon arrival.
My girlfriend was
negative, so I had to
quarantine for eight
days, missing the
trip (and Christmas),
while she spent her
birthday – and flew
back home – alone.’

C o s m o p o l i ta n

121

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ex p l o re

Your post-isolation holiday
should be a solo one
The perks, the practicalities and a guide
to those Insta-perfect pictures
A S H L E Y O E R M A N & A S H L E Y M AT E O

C o s m o p o l i ta n

123

E X P LO R E

S o l o t ra ve l l i n g

As a grown, partnered-up,
introverted extrovert, I sort
of assumed going on holiday
by myself was something I’d
never do. What’s the point?
I’m not out here trying to eat,
pray, love (tbh, probably
just eat). Also, after months
of seeing no more than
the same four people, a
group trip would be exactly
what I needed. No. It turns
out, no, no, no. Solo travel
offers so much more than
post-break-up epiphanies
– especially for anyone
who’s been through 2020,
2021 and the rest. Allow me
to elaborate based on my
gloriously lonely trip to the
Caribbean island of Bonaire.

‘I felt more emotionally
supported by my own
brain than ever before’

THE THINGS TO LIKE
You can keep talking
to yourself all the time

In the car, navigating without
a GPS on an island where
donkeys and goats post up
in the middle of the road
(cute, but scary), I deployed
my preferred love language:
words of affirmation. ‘So,
this is a one-way and we’re
going the wrong way, but it’s
okay!’ I felt more emotionally
supported by my own brain
than ever before and, luckily,
we’re still pals.
There’s no comparison BS

Group trips with friends
inevitably lead to at least one
‘Oh my gosh, you look so chic;
I hate my outfit, hair, toenails
etc’ moment. But alone, I gave
significantly fewer f*cks. And
guess what? I even wore the
same outfit two days in a row,
because no one was around
to judge me.
1 24

C o s m o p o l i ta n

1

You’ll drink less

You set the tone

To be fair, idk about your life,
and there’s nothing wrong
with drinking alone, but I’ve
learned that navigating a
new place after downing
a few margs is a challenge.
So, on most nights, I had a
single cocktail, if that. ‘Twas
a dramatic transition, for
sure. And waking up without
hangxiety, a headache or
an overwhelming number
of Monzo notifications was
more than welcome, too.

Taking yourself on a trip
means no one’s vibe (see:
your housemate’s, your
partner’s, your parents’ or
whoever you spent decades
of lockdown with) matters
but your own. So when, on
a whim, I decided to jump
off a 20-ish-ft cliff into the
Caribbean Sea, my overly
cautious S/O couldn’t Debbie
Downer me out of it. Who
knew I could be so fun?
Love that for me.

E X P LO R E

S o l o t ra ve l l i n g

THE THINGS TO KNOW

2
1. According to
Google Maps,
this is defo the
supermarket
2. Why eat, pray,
love when you
can just eat?
3. Shoes? Don’t
know her

Solo travel is having a
moment, but lots of us still
don’t feel comfortable with
the idea. Truth is, you can –
and should – have a blast
going it alone. It’s just about
figuring out how to win at
me-time and staying smart.

area. And no matter where
you stay, pack a rubber doorstopper wedge, which you
can buy on Amazon for less
than £5. ‘There are stories
about hotel keys being
reused,’ says Anat. ‘Just stick
a stopper under the front door.’

‘Just one?’ F*ck yes

No partner, no baggage

Having to answer ‘Yep, just
me’ every time a waiter asks
is enough to make even the
most blissed-out tourist feel
lonely. ‘I usually make a joke
out of it, which breaks the
awkwardness,’ says Berna
Anat (@heyberna), a financial
influencer who travels solo.
‘I tell them, “I’m taking myself
on a date” or “I can entertain
myself ”.’ But you don’t owe
anyone an explanation. ‘Just
say “yes” proudly with a smile,’
says Queenie Mak, who runs
the travel blog Ms Travel Solo.
If a sitch feels sketchy, use
your stranger-danger skills.
‘I’ll say my “partner” is joining
me (even though they’re not),
or I’m meeting up with family,’
says Kiersten Rich of The
Blonde Abroad blog.

Being on your own means
packing light. You need a
bag you can lug around by
yourself. ‘When I started to
travel solo, I used a giant
backpack,’ says Mak. ‘It
killed my back. Now I use a
much smaller one and only
bring the necessities.’ Make
a few clothes last the trip by
bringing a stain pen and a
small bottle of travel wash.
Your must-pack item? A
dummy wallet, says Kristin
Addis of Be My Travel Muse
blog. ‘I hide the good stuff
(my credit card) in my shoe
or bra, and have a bag with
cancelled cards I can hand
over if (worst case scenario)
someone were to mug me.’

PHOTOGRAPHY: COURTESY OF ASHLEY MATEO. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY:
(P124) COURTESY OF TOURISM CORPORATION BONAIRE

King-size bed for me, thanks

3

No diva-ish travel buddies
means that you can finally
stay where you want to. When
searching for a room, trust
reviews and pay attention
to exact locations – not just
neighbourhoods. ‘I noticed
in the comments of a Cape
Town Airbnb that it was really
close to a loud nightclub,’
says Anat. ‘That means there
are going to be a bunch of
drunks around – not great if
you’re a single woman.’ The
same goes if your hotel is
in a super-secluded area.
Search a hotel using Google
Maps before you book and
make sure it’s in a central

*All* the pics, zero drama

As a party of one, there’s no
one around to rush your shot
or shame you for taking too
many selfies (there’s no such
thing). Instead, pair up with a
tripod: grab a tiny one online,
throw it in your bag and then
pop your phone into it when
inspiration strikes (use your
self-timer). If you can’t nail it,
look for someone carrying a
real camera. ‘They probably
know how to take better
photos,’ says Addis.
Embrace the #LaterGram.
‘Take photos, soak it in, then
go to a safe place and post,’
says Anat. ‘That way, you’re
not broadcasting where
you are on your own.’

C o s m o p o l i ta n

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BE AU T Y EDIT
Look good, feel great

V.R.O. – IT’S NOT A TYPICAL BEAUTY STUDIO,
AND SHE IS NOT YOUR TYPICAL BEAUTY THERAPIST.
In a desirable city where dreams do come true after lockdown
V.R.O. decided to open their doors to the public. After lockdown,
we all realised how important it is to not only look good –
obviously! But mainly give yourself the TLC and the importance
of relaxing for your mental health is underrated! So V.R.O.
created a tranquil space where it feels and looks like a salon but
without having to share your private conversations with those
sitting next to you, where you can express yourself vocally without
judgement, but feeling empowered and supported by the wisdom
of V.R.O. and her team or our favourite is to just stare at the
mesmerising view of royal wharf riverside to wander off in your
own imagination.

V.R.O. has been in the cosmetology industry for nearly 20 years
and always felt supported and motivated by other talented
passionate souls! The gratitude didn’t stop there, as a woman
that understands the struggles in the industry and in life but now
has the opportunities at her fingertips V.R.O. also collaborates
with other female-owned businesses such as:
@karenrbeauty, @krisskosmetics, @glampitbyjen,
@skin21aesthetics, @naillab.e17 and brands such as
Espérer Skin Care, Alex Cosmetics, Domowy Kosmetyk
and more.

It’s been my love in life to bring not only beauty but the pure
philosophy of what beauty really stands for. I’ve taken pride in
constantly perfecting my passion and keeping up to date with
what’s news as in
this industry you
find there’s always
something new to
learn from other
talented masters!
It’s enhanced my
creativity to keep
bringing diversity
understanding that
each individual
is unique,
and recognise
our individual
differences,
understand and
appreciate the
interdependence of
humanity, cultures,
and the natural
environment.

@__v.r.o__

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B E AU TY EDI T
Look good, feel great

HYDRATE, GLOW AND CONTOUR WITH
SEVENTY HYAL 2000
Desperately looking for a hassle-free replacement
for your six-step skincare routine? We may have
found the perfect rejuvenating treatment that goes
way beyond the surface of your skin – introducing the
Next Generation Skin Booster, Seventy Hyal 2000.
Set to become an unassuming staple in everyone’s
skincare regime – Seventy Hyal 2000 is a hydrating
Skin Booster formulated with a high molecular
weight of Hyaluronic Acid (>2000 kDa).
The skin-reviving treatment has been dubbed by
patients and practitioners as the next best thing in
injectable skincare, with industry leaders even stating
“Seventy Hyal 2000 is an exciting product that
has the potential to become a mainstay within the
aesthetics sector”.
This skin-enhancing injectable works to satisfy parched and lax skin by surcharging an intense and concentrated moisture boost deep
into the skin’s tissue. The Hyaluronic Acid treatment also provides a rehydrating and rejuvenating solution for fine lines and dull skin.
Adding radiance-enhancing elements back into the skin for a younger, fresher complexion. Furthermore, Seventy Hyal 2000 works to
add gentle volume to the skin and can provide a temporary (1- 2 weeks) contouring effect if applied specifically to facial areas that
benefit from enhancement. The injectable moisturiser also aids in the bio-stimulation of new collagen and elastin stores resulting in a
visibly vibrant visage.
Emma, 26, is one of the many patients who can vouch for Seventy Hyal’s moisture-enhancing
benefits, showcasing an impressive before and after transformation after a single Seventy Hyal
2000 treatment. Emma commented on her glowing results, saying:
“I can’t believe the difference Seventy Hyal 2000 has made to my complexion! My skin is so
much brighter and more even in texture and
tone. The redness on my skin has settled after my
Seventy treatment and now, my skin has never
looked more youthful or plump – especially my
under eyes and smile lines! I’ve had so many
compliments on my complexion, all thanks to
this injectable moisturiser and now, I’ll never go
back to not having Seventy Hyal. This treatment
Before
After
has been a miracle worker and if you ever have
the opportunity to experience a Seventy Hyal 2000 treatment – don’t hesitate to try!
Seventy Hyal 2000 is a game-changer”.
Emma’s before and after transformation was taken at baseline and at 4-weeks posttreatment – showcasing glowing and gorgeous results. However, 2 to 3 treatments
of Seventy Hyal 2000 four weeks apart will be initially required to achieve the
desired result. Depending on initial skin quality, a fourth treatment may be necessary.
Treatments will need to be topped up every 6-12 months depending on the skin’s
natural state.
Ultimately, Seventy Hyal 2000 is the perfect injectable skincare treatment for
complexions that crave moisture and luminosity. This Hyaluronic Acid Skin Booster
acts as an instant thirst quencher for thirstful skin - bringing your dehydrated skin
swiftly back from the brink. Plus, it’s the perfect treatment whether you’re
18 or 80 with incredible results every time!

Ask about Seventy Hyal 2000 in
your local clinic or find out more at
www.seventyhyal.co.uk and @SeventyHyal .

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E SSE NT IA LS E DIT
This month’s top tips

NIKKAY FASHIONS JEWELRY

NO MORE SUMMER CHAFING
Embrace the heat of the season without the discomfort of burning thighs.
The Big Bloomers Company’s Anti Chafing Slip Shorts are the ultimate summer
solution. Designed in Britain and made in Italy using seamless technology, they’re
extremely soft, lightweight and breathable – so much so, you’ll barely know you’ve got
them on. Sizes UK 8 – 36+
Call 01326 373268 or order securely online at www.thebigbloomerscompany.co.uk

LOOK YOUNGER LONGER REGENTIV SPECIALIST
SERUM (WITH RETINOL)
This delicate and oh so effective serum for lines, wrinkles, crepey
eyes and neck, vertical lip lines, sun damage and much more.
Unique formulation of retinol palmitate, aloe vera, vitamin E, SPF,
moisturiser – perfect to use twice daily. 35ml £29.95, 50ml
£44.95, 105ml £79.95, 200ml £149. To receive exclusive 15%
reader discount apply code COSMO15 when ordering.
www.regentiv.com or call 01923 212555 for advice or to order.
Please see website for full range and special offers.

Nikkay Fashions Jewelry introduces the
“it” pieces that are unlike the rest of your
collection. Designer Nikke Shanabrough
creates individual pieces that make a
statement and grab your attention.
All of the jewellery is unique and the
designs are like no other. Photographer:
Mike Hoffman. Model: Melanie Henry.
Location: Hueter’s Greenhouses.
Visit www.nikkayfashionsjewelry.com
and follow @nikkayfashionsjewelry on
Instagram

GAIA SEGATTINI KNOTWEAR
– BE YOUR OWN MOODBOARD
Gaia Segattini Knotwear is the artisanal knitwear brand founded
and directed by Gaia Segattini. Created in Italy, the brand has a
keen focus on sustainability and innovation while the pieces are
produced with excellence in Le Marche region. Using the finest
quality leftover and sustainable yarns, they create contemporary
designs with a colourful and funny attitude. Produced in limited
batches, colour combinations and finishing that create a folk-pop
style ever unique. Visit https://gaiasegattiniknotwear.it/en/
and follow @gaiasegattini.knotwear

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S TY L E EDIT
Look your best

L.DROBE CLOTHING
L.DROBE is a unisex, aesthetic leisurewear brand designed with
comfort in mind. The independent, female-led brand curates
collections that encapsulate positivity and self-care at the core,
whilst having an aspirational feel.
The comfy sweats are designed to be worn by anyone, anywhere.
The minimal designs are paired with classic colourways to help
you build a timeless wardrobe and to encourage investing in
staple items.
The brand focuses on intertwining sustainability throughout,
using all eco-conscious packaging and producing a handful of
garments made from organic cotton and recycled polyester.
Shop: www.ldrobeclothing.com
and follow on Social: @l.drobe

The last page

In my nightstand
Just some classic Charli XCX candour for you
B Y M O L LY S T O U T

What’s on top?
A bottle of water
and an empty
champagne
bottle.
What’s in there
at all times?
My birth control.
Most surprising
items?
Loads of
Playboy
magazines.
Got any
snacks?
Sometimes, if
I’m hungover.

Products I
always have…
Lip balm. I love
Dr. PawPaw.
The drawers:
organised
or beautiful
mess?
Total s***hole.
The number of
alarms I need…
Just one.
Books by
the bed?
I’m really into
David Sedaris
right now, so I’ve
got a few of his
up there.
CHARLI XCX’S UK
AND IRELAND TOUR
BEGINS 13 MAY

Step 1:
Download her
new album,
Crash. Step 2:
Become an
instant badass.

130

C o s m o p o l i ta n

PHOTOGRAPHY: EMILY LIPSON. COURTESY ATLANTIC RECORDS

My overall
nightstand vibe
Lit.