fabindia.com

contents

On the Cover
82 Covergirl Sobhita
Dhulipala
The 29-year-old actor on what it
is like being an Indian woman,
questioning norms, and her views
on gender and sexuality.

Upfront
18 Your Comprehensive Guide to All
the Remakes Happening Right Now
20 The Beginnner’s Guide to Upcycling
22 Tip Your Hat
24 Get Grillin’
28 Here’s An All Encompassing Guide
to Using Gender-Neutral Pronouns

Fast Glam
33
42
46
48

50
52
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54
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56
58
62
68

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76

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6

Autumn/Winter Trend Report 21-22
For the Love of Local
Après Swim...Hell Yeah, Right?
Your Current #OOTD is Missing a
Baguette Bag, Just Thought You
Should Know
Brown Actually *is* Your Colour
My Precious...
Lingerie... On the Outside
Can a Bra Change Your Look?
Rectangular Sunglasses are Better
Than Every Other Glass Shape
Street Style
Style News
Fresh and Breezy
Did Drag Queens Teach Us
Everything We Know About
Make-Up Today?
How to Turn Regular Make-Up
Product Into Multitaskers
Role Reversal
A Derm’s Guide to Getting
Rid of Blackheads
Hello Brunettes, Pls Allow Us to
Introduce You to the Magic
That is Blue Shampoo
Look On the Bright Side
Beauty Scoop

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

26

Actor Bhumi
Pednekar shares
her views on
beauty and
sustainability.

138 A Guide to Financial Abuse: From
Spotting the Signs to Getting Help
142 Has the Pandemic Screwed Our
Relationship with Food?

Only in Cosmo

AugSep

148 Pride List

170

Razzle-dazzle in
the season’s most
sparkling finds.

2021

Cosmo Interview
92 Unlearning at Every Step: Sonal
Giani
94 Fluid Duality: Durga Gawde
96 Overcoming Barriers:
Aroh Akunth
98 Propelling Change:
Gazal Dhaliwal
100 Universal Acceptance:
Vasu Primlani
102 Anchored in Love: Porus
and Prayag
104 The Three Musketeers

Love & Lust
122 Don’t Feel Present During Sex?
You’re Not Alone...
124 What Does Non-Binary Mean?
128 How to Know If You Are
Bisexual?

13

Meet the trans
models creating
waves in the
world of fashion.

You, You, You
130 Gender and Sexuality-Related
Terms You Need to Know
136 A Letter to Straight People
from the ‘Gay Best Friend’
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

Fashion & Beauty
180 Street Style 2.0
188 Mani Time
196 Ru Paul
220 Beauty Expert
204 Lust List

Lifestylist
206 Baby Got Blues

In Every Issue
10 From the Editor
146 Quiz
208 Astro
210 Last Word

The Cover Look!
Styling: Zunaili Malik;
Photographs: Aman
Makkar; Hair and
Make-Up: Kiran
Denzongpa at Feat.
Artists; Location
Courtesy: Andaz
Delhi; Fashion
Assistants: Humaira
Lakdawala and
Jaishree Chhabra
On Sobhita Dhulipala: Trench coat, United Colours
of Benetton; earrings, Tanzire
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

7

Editor-in-Chief Aroon Purie
Group Editorial Director Raj Chengappa
Publisher Karen Wilson Kumar
Editor Nandini Bhalla
Editorial Co-Ordinator Akansha Bahadur
Associate Editor Meghna Sharma

FEATURES

Writers Aanchal Kataria, Shambhavi Dutta

FASHION

Editor Zunaili Malik
Contributing Junior Stylist Sneham Choudhary

ART

Chief Designers Satender Sharma, Mandeep Singh
Senior Designer Vineet Singh
Digital Video Editor Nitin Singh, Sanyam Purohit

DIGITAL

Deputy Editor Chirag Mohanty Samal
Assistant Features Editor Aprita Kala
Features Writer Diya Verma

TEAM

Senior General Manager (North) Mary Mehrunnisa

SALES AND OPERATIONS

Senior General Manager (National Sales) Deepak Bhatt
General Manager (Operations) Vipin Bagga
Deputy General Manager (North) Rajeev Gandhi
Deputy Regional Sales Manager (South) S Paramasivam
Senior Sales Manager (East) Piyush Ranjan Das

CONSUMER MARKETING SERVICES

Deputy General Manager (Operations) G L Ravik Kumar

VOLUME 25 NUMBER 297
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8

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

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HEARST MAGAZINES
INTERNATIONAL

INTERNATIONAL EDITORS

HEARST MAGAZINES INTERNATIONAL
SVP, MANAGING DIRECTOR ASIA PACIFIC &
RUSSIA: SIMON HORNE
DIRECTOR OF INTERNATIONAL LICENSING &
BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT:
RICHARD BEAN
SVP/EDITORIAL & BRAND DIRECTOR:
KIM ST. CLAIR BODDEN
DEPUTY BRANDS DIRECTOR:
CHLOE O’BRIEN
INTERNATIONAL BRANDS EDITOR:
ROBERTA PACHT

ARGENTINA, AUSTRALIA: LORNA GRAY, BRITAIN: FARRAH STORR,
BULGARIA, CHILE, CHINA: YVONNE LIU, CROATIA: ALEKSANDRA ORLIC ,
CZECH REPUBLIC: SABRINA KARASOVA, FINLAND: STINA MANTYNIEMI,
FRANCE: MARIE LA FONTA, GERMANY: ANJA DELASTIK, HONG KONG:
RUQIYAH LAW KAM YING, HUNGARY: JOHANNA SABJÁN, INDONESIA:
FILISYA THUNGGAWAN, ITALY: FRANCESCA DELOGU, KAZAKHSTAN:
ANEL ABDUALIYEVA, KOREA: HYE SOO PARK, LATIN AMERICA: LUCÍA
SOTELO SANTOS, LITHUANIA: VIOLETA KALIKAUSKIENE, MALAYSIA: NISA
HALID, MIDDLE EAST: KAVITA SRINIVASAN, NETHERLANDS: JOSEPHINE
KAY, POLAND, ROMANIA: DIANA COLCER, RUSSIA: ALIONA PENEVA,
SERBIA: NASJA VELJKOVIC, SLOVENIA: MANCA ČAMPA PAVLIN, SOUTH
AFRICA: HOLLY MEADOWS, SPAIN: CECILIA MUZQUIZ HERRERO, SRI
LANKA, TURKEY: OZLEM KOTAN, UKRAINE: OLEKSANDRA BURYNSKA,
USA: JESSICA PELS

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF, COSMOPOLITAN (1965-1997):
HELEN GURLEY BROWN

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AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

9

Editor’s Letter
WELCOME TO THE
GENDER AND
SEXUALITY ISSUE, A
COSMOPOLITAN
INDIA ENDEAVOUR
TO HELP RAISE
AWARENESS ABOUT
A VERY IMPORTANT
SUBJECT—THAT OF
CREATING A MORE
INCLUSIVE WORLD.
There’s a lot to learn and take in
from the pages that follow, especially if
you are unfamiliar with the concepts
of sex, sexuality, gender, and gender
expression. Or if you are still in the
process of understanding what it
means to be cisgender, non-binary,
genderqueer, agender, bigender, or
gender non-conforming.
And that, really, is the point of this
issue. To embark on a journey that will
make you more informed. To help you
learn about identities and expressions
and romantic preferences and genderneutral languages. To propel you to
discover and respect those around
you...and yourself.
sexuality. And I hope you will amplify
To absorb the stories of our brilliant
what you learn to influence friends and
coverstars, and the trailblazers in
Cosmo’s Pride List, and be inspired by family, and encourage them to become
and better educated through their
more inclusive. And I truly hope that
diverse narratives.
from this day on, you
“There’s
a
lot
to
But most
will do your bit to
learn,
especially
if
importantly, the point
help end stereotypes
you are unfamiliar and stigmas, and
of this special edition is
with the concepts of work towards
to become a better ally
to those who don’t fit
building a safer,
sex, sexuality,
society’s stereotypes
gender, and gender kinder, more equal
and who can’t sit inside
space for every single
expression.”
neat, little boxes.
human, without any
Through this issue—which is, in
exceptions.
many ways, merely a starting point—I
Because the world is more than just
hope you will be motivated to explore
‘male’ or ‘female’ or ‘heterosexual’, and
and educate yourself about the
each one of us deserves to be honoured
nuanced, limitless world of gender and for who we really are.

10

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

Until next month,

Nandini Bhalla,
Editor
nandini.bhalla@intoday.com
Follow me on Instagram: nandinibhalla

.IN

Follow www.cosmopolitan.in for
the latest in fashion,
beauty and celebrity news.

UPFRONT

THE TOOLS AND INFO YOU NEED TO LIVE LIFE, VERSION 2.0

Trans Models
to Know

Using roadblocks as stepping stones, this invincible army is taking on the
world of fashion—and gender stereotypes—one breakthrough at a time.
By Zunaili Malik; Interviews By: Humra Afroz Khan

upfront

N ITI N
BARAN WAL
“When I was a child, I used to
secretly watch Fashion TV, and then
drape my mother’s saris, put on
music, and strut around the house,
imitating the models. I was born and
raised in Dharavi, Mumbai—the
country’s biggest slum—where there
isn’t a lot of sensitivity towards
alternate sexualities. So I was
hectored, abused, even molested.
Everyone wanted to shape me in
their own way, and I’d get no say in
it. Thankfully, my mother stood by
me through it all. She encouraged
me to explore myself, and accepted
me as I was. And that made me
confident, as well as rebellious...to
be me. I believe fashion has no
gender. As a model, I want to fit in
both male and female binary
categories, and create more
awareness about non-binary
identities. Fortunately, I have not
experienced any kind of hate or
discrimination so far. There are some
challenges, though, like finding the
right fit, especially for clothes made
for female bodies; or the right
innerwear (I am still searching!).
And I often get misgendered, or
mistaken for a cis woman...but
I have learnt to live with it, and
even have a little fun with it.”

14

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

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MO NA V ERONI CA
CA MPBELL
“Since childhood, I have always been treated like a girl,
just like my elder sister. There were never any issues at
home regarding my identity. When I was about 15,
I decided to undergo Hormone Replacement Therapy.
And luckily, my family, friends, and teachers were very
supportive of that, too. Throughout my journey, there
have always been people who encouraged me. But I am
acutely aware that a lot of families are not okay with the
idea of their children being part of the LGBTQIA+
community. And that it can be exhausting for one to live
under this ‘category’ in India. In fact, I sometimes regret
coming out as a trans woman. I am India’s first Plus-Size
Trans Supermodel, and have numerous other titles and
awards to my name. I have opened and closed shows for
Lakmé Fashion Week for three seasons. So many
people tell me I inspire them. But despite all that, I still
struggle because of my identity. You don’t get jobs
easily...even if you are really deserving. And people
don’t realise we need work throughout the year, too,
not just around Pride month. Also, the LGBTQIA+
community needs to stand up for each other more,
and rise above petty jealousy and competition.”

ANJAL I LAM A
“I grew up in a small village in Nepal, and disclosed my
transgender identity in 2005, after I shifted to
Kathmandu for higher education. I went on to participate
in Miss Pink, a trans beauty pageant, in 2007. From then
to now, the fashion industry has definitely made a lot of
progress. Trans models are now getting visibility
worldwide. When I began, I had to face numerous
rejections because of my identity. In fact, I have now
shifted to India, and I am still struggling to find a house
here, because of my identity! I have had to endure similar
experiences all through my childhood. I was constantly
harassed, because of my ‘feminine’ behaviour. Family,
friends, school teachers...everyone would mock me and
pass remarks like, ‘Why are you acting like a girl?’. But
with time, I have become more confident, and don’t need
anyone’s validation anymore...my achievements reinstate
my belief in myself. Being the first transgender model to
be selected for Lakmé Fashion Week, getting an
international breakthrough with a Calvin Klein
campaign, representing many elite brands here in India,
winning numerous awards, etc...these milestones
encourage me to go from strength to strength.”
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

15

SANDR A N AN D EIBAM
“I am from Manipur, and spotting a transgender
women in feminine outfits is no big deal there.
However, I was the first to attend an educational
institution wearing those clothes, and that really
helped me embrace and establish my identity.
I was in the second grade when I realised I wanted
to be a girl. My parents are supportive now, but
they were livid then! Social exclusion, prejudice,
and ridicule soon became common for me, from
most people. My father would even lock me out of
the house on cold winter nights, for cross-dressing.
He thought it would work, and that things would
change when I grow up. But conversion therapy
doesn’t exist, you know. In my fight against genderdysphoria, and to earn a respectful place in society
as a trans woman, everything fell into place, and
here I am! While I do think the world is becoming
more inclusive now, it needs to give more work to
trans people, and stop their misrepresentation.
Don’t remember the queer community only
during Pride Month or on Valentine’s Day.”

TARUN PANWAR
“I often face two problems: one, casual bodyshaming, where people nonchalantly tell me, ‘You’re
too skinny’, or ‘You should eat more’. And two,
being mistaken for a female. I honestly don’t know
how to deal with these stereotypes—they happen on
the daily, and you soon realise you can’t fight each
one of them, or try to educate everyone. When I was
younger, I was an introvert who lived in his own
world. Life as a transgender isn’t easy, and I was
often bullied—still am, actually—for being me.
Even by my own friends and family. When I began
modelling, I had no idea about the industry. It was
quite overwhelming in the beginning to see how
things work here. But with the help of my agents
and others who supported me, I learnt the ropes
soon. And I got to meet some amazing creative
geniuses, who motivated me to deliver and give
more. I cherish working with Gaurav Gupta and
Studio Renn—I still remember how comfortable
they made me feel about being myself. Some global
icons I seek inspiration from are Rihanna, Miuccia
Prada, and Alexander McQueen.”

16

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

N ITASHA B IS WAS
“My life changed when I became India’s first Miss
Trans Queen in 2017. It opened up a world of
opportunities for me, and gave me access to
global platforms. I went on to represent India at
Miss International Queen, in Thailand, and even
participated in Miss Trans Australia 2019. That’s
when I realised that the world is full of positivity
and of people who mean well. You just need to
believe in yourself and work hard. In India, I feel
the majority of LGBTQIA+ community finds
solace in the fashion industry...there’s more
acceptance here than anywhere else. Initially,
things were not easy for me, either, but I’d say the
experience has still only been moderately tough.
It was nothing compared to the harshness I had
experienced earlier. I was regularly bullied at
school, and had no friends...those were some
tough years! I think it’s the mindsets that need to
evolve. When society has black-and-white
demarcations, it makes things even more difficult
for anyone not fitting in. We all need to learn to
co-exist and respect each other for our choices.”

V EEGENT
“Growing up, I was like any other cisgender, heterosexual kid. I didn’t really understand
who I was, but would invariably have this feeling of not ‘belonging’ when I was seen as a
female. That, and the confusion as to why I wasn’t like ‘other girls’ made me treat myself
differently, more than others treating me differently. And being an outcast to yourself is
worse. Initially, I began identifying as a lesbian, as I didn’t have much information, and
realised my true being only later...I had to break many gender-stereotypes within myself.
Like, I always thought I could only be man enough if I looked like a quintessential
cis-het male. But today, I am not scared of my femininity—I love being a transgender
person, and also identify as a man...just as I am. My dysphoria, and the lack of transrepresentation in the Indian media, kept me away from the fashion industry for a
long time. I was nervous about people’s reactions. Thankfully, it has been great so far.
I think, with time, people warm up to changes, and we are certainly more inclusive of
genders and sexualities now, than, say, in the ’90s.”

ARCHIE
SI NGH
“I had realised I was a woman
inside a man’s body fairly early
in life. And it means a lot to be
accepted for what you are. The
fashion industry really helps
you, in that sense. You don’t
feel judged here, or treated
differently. If only more people
would see us as humans first,
without bracketing what gender
we belong to. To be honest,
there is a lack of awareness, and
too many misconceptions about
the LGBTQIA+ community.
I love to perform, and used to
be a theatre artist. But as soon
as my gender-transition began,
I was dropped from most plays,
and, eventually, not even cast.
So I decided to pursue
modelling, and, earlier this year,
became the first Indian to be
crowned the second runner-up
at the Miss International Trans
beauty pageant. There are so
many talented people among
us, but they don’t get their due.
So the onus is on those of us
who have a platform, to
empower the rest. I mentor
young trans people who want to
work in fashion, and have also
collaborated with some NGOs
to provide free courses in
various other fields. Because if
we don’t help ourselves, nobody
is going to think about us.” Q
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

17

upfront

The Matrix 4
December 22

Because it feels like
everything we are
about to see, we have
actually seen before?
By Emma Baty

T

here is a reason that Hollywood
seemingly has no new ideas. And
that reason is money. It is a lot safer
financially to iterate on a cultural
artefact that audiences know and love than to
take a chance on something totally fresh. TBH,
this is often great for you as a movie-goer,
who will probably enjoy round two (or three or
four) if you enjoyed the original. It is kind of like
how you keep buying V-neck tees from your
favourite brand in slightly different colours than
the ones you already own. But movie studios
can’t just entirely reuse old material—remakes
have to be bigger, with higher budgets, and
more celebrities, so they can outperform
whatever came first. Sometimes this works,
and sometimes...well, here are all the new
films and musicals based on old films and
musicals, ranked by just how awesome (or not)
we are predicting they will be.

18

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

Details are
v hard to come
by and the title
hasn’t even been
announced yet, so
the plot is...? But
the enigma that is
Keanu Reeves will
be there, and you
already know that’s
the only thing
you care about.
How badly you
need to see it:

5/10

October 8

The 25th film in the
James Bond series,
this one stars
Daniel Craig for the
fifth time. Get ready
for Daniel to fight
a power-packed
villan stocked with
latest technology
to wreak havoc.
How badly you
need to see it:

6/10

Ghostbusters:
Afterlife
N o v e m b e r 11

Not to be
confused with the
2016 offshoot,
this is the third
film in the original
lineage, and it
follows two kids
who realise they
are the next gen
of Busters.
How badly you
need to see it:

5/10
Images Courtesy: INSTAGRAM AND GETTY IMAGES

Your
Comprehensive
Guide to All
the Remakes
Happening
Right Now

No Time To Die

The Guilty

S e p t e m b e r 11

Jake Gyllenhaal features in the
remake of the 2018 Danish Film
The Guilty. Give this a shot if you
missed watching Jake in a good
ol‘ thriller film.

Dear Evan Hansen
September 24

This is the cinematic
adaptation of the
Broadway musical
about a teenager
with social anxiety
who, at the request of
his therapist, starts
writing letters to
himself. Ben Platt,
who had left the
Broadway show after
originating the role,
will reprise it here.
How badly you
need to see it:

7/10

How badly you
need to see it:

8/10

Spider-Man:
No Way Home
D e c e m b e r 17

Yep, you guessed it,
Another Spider-Man
film is in the works,
with Tom Holland
returning as the webslinging superhero.
No Way Home sees
Peter Parker’s true
identity at risk,
while he’s also being
held responsible
for Mysterio’s
destruction. HRH
Zendaya also stars.
How badly you
need to see it:

7/10

Get ready
to blow up
your mind and
the last three
months of
the year!

Top Gun:
Maverick

N o v e m b e r 19

Do you feel the
need? The need for
a reboot? Thanks
to a stacked cast
(Tom Cruise, Miles
Teller, Glen Powell,
Jon Hamm), you
and your dad will
love it.
How badly you
need to see it:

7/10

West Side Story
D e c e m b e r 10

This is basically
the ultimate
Venn diagram of
reboots—it’s based
on a 1957 musical,
which itself was
sort of based on
Romeo And Juliet,
and the musical was
then adapted into a
1961 film version.
A magical trifecta.
Ansel Elgort and
Rachel Zegler play
the leads in this
new film—we can’t
wait to see Elgort
attempt to dance.
How badly you
need to see it:

8/10

The
Beginner’s
Guide to
Upcycling
It is the planet and purse-friendly
way to give your furniture a
glow-up, but how can you avoid any
DIY disasters? Read on...
By Charlotte Thompson

“UPCYLING IS
NOT AS SIMPLE
AS IT LOOKS—
DIVING IN
WITHOUT DOING
YOUR PREP
LEAVES YOU OPEN
TO MAKING A
MESS OF IT.”

Photograph: ANUSHKA MENON

upfront

WHAT IS IT?
Upcycling is all about taking
something old, restoring it, and
giving it a good glow-up, so it looks as
good as new—or even better. You
can do it with pretty much anything,
including old clothes, but the
practice is having a real ‘moment’ in
the world of interiors. A lot of the
vintage-style furniture you see on
your favourite influencers’ accounts
is likely to be the result of an
upcycling project.

NAIL THE BASICS
Upcyling is not as simple as it
looks—diving in without doing your
prep leaves you open to making a
mess of it. So do your research
first—with a bit of knowledge and a
few tools in your tank, you will be
turning your tat into treasure
easy-peasy.

PICK YOUR PROJECT
You can upcycle literally anything.
Chairs can be reupholstered with
fresh fabrics, and furniture can be
painted in modern colours, or even
have pieces cut off to create
something new entirely. The key
with furniture is to choose pieces
that still have a sturdy structure.
UK-based DIY influencer and
YouTube’s queen of upcycling,
Hermione Chantal, says her current
favourite things to restore feature
smooth lines and an interesting
structure. “Think large vases and
lamps that may look a little ugly on
the surface, but can be easily made
over with a few coats of spray paint,”
she says.

house for interesting pieces they no
longer want,” she suggests.
“If a piece of furniture has got
sentimental value, it becomes more
of a talking point in your home, and
you will want to hold onto it for
longer.” Just make sure the person
you are sourcing your wares from
knows what you are going to do with
the item. You could also try
Facebook Marketplace, Zefo,
Quickr, and IndiaMart. If this is your
first foray into upcycling, hunt out
pieces that cost little to no money.
That way, if your project does not
turn out how you hoped, it is not a
huge loss—and if it sums out great,
then it is an even better win. Having
said that, Hermoine advises
checking what the item could be
worth before you go too crazy with
the paint brush. “I have painted a
charity shop-sourced side table and
later found out it was worth a small
fortune,” she laughs. “If something is
a solid wood antique, or in great
condition, see if you can make it
work in your home first!”

GET INSPIRED
Hermoine’s advice is to remember
that paint can always be covered up
with another shade as trends change.
“I have noticed more colour
creeping back into people’s homes,
as well as woven cane popping up in
furniture stores,” she says. “The
latter is such an easy hack to
replicate on drawer fronts, on
headboards, and in cabinet doors.”
When revamping a chest of drawers,
try changing the handles. Check out
Pepperfry, Urban Ladder, or
Furlenco for some inspiration. “If
you decide later that you are bored
of them, you can easily replace
Q
them,” concludes Hermoine.

START YOUR SEARCH
Hermoine suggests the best place to
start hunting for old trinkets is by
tapping up your family members.
“See if your relatives are giving
anything away, or ask to browse their

GETTING STARTED
STEP 1
Preparation is key when it
comes to doing a good job
with any upcycling project.
Have an end goal in mind—
what do you want your piece to
look like once it is finished?—
and work out what steps you will
need to complete to get there.
Although you will be excited to
get started, do not rush,
because you are more likely to
run into problems.

STEP 2
Yes, it is not the fun part, but
getting a cobweb tangled up in
your paint is never going to end
well. Give your piece a quick
wipe with a wet cloth, then sand
it down to encourage new paint
to stick properly, and to stop
any new paint reacting with the
old and causing discolouration.

STEP 3
Use enough layers of paint—
and be patient. Waiting for each
new layer to dry can be
frustrating, but follow the
instructions on the tin of paint
that you are using—if it needs
four hours between layers, wait
four hours! For a kaleidoscope
of colour choices and great
coverage, try Immix, CrafTreat,
or Rust-Oleum paints.

STEP 4
Do not underestimate the
importance of varnish. When
you are happy with the paint
and have left it to dry as per the
instructions, use a varnish
spray or glaze—that way, it will
be protected and look
professionally finished.
Et voilà! A brand new look for
your home without breaking
the bank.

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

21

upfront

Tip
Your
Hat

You know an accessory is headlining the trends when it
is endorsed by celebrities. And given the number of
sightings we have had in the recent past, bucket hats
are definitely an A-list favourite.
By Aanchal Kataria

THE PERFECT
M AT C H
No matter where you
are, co-ords are chic
in all universes! On
days you don’t feel
like making an effort,
co-ord pieces will help
save the day, and make
you look hella cool, too.

Emily
Ratajkowski

Winnie
Harlow

CLASSIC
MONOCHROMES
With blacks and whites
being wardrobe staples,
there is certainly
no debating that
monochrome bucket
hats can lend themselves
beautifully to a wide
range of sartorial picks—
from swimwear to crops
tops and jackets.

Compiled By: SNEHAM CHOUDHARY

Kaia
Gerber

Kiara
Advani
Rihanna

ANIMAL
PRI NTS?
Y E S, P L E A S E !

Irina
Shayk

If you don’t
fancy a full-blown
cheetah outfit, but
secretly love the
print, then let your
headgear take
over. Accessories
are a great way to
test waters with
a new trend, and
they give you the
creative freedom
to construct a
truly unique look.

Dua
Lipa

Bella
Hadid
Gigi
Hadid

Ananya
Panday

M U S T- H AV E
MONOGRAM
In case you
missed the memo,
monogrammed
iterations of the
bucket hat have
been making the
rounds since last
year, turning them
into a must-have
piece... All thanks
to their biggest
ambassador, Billie!

Kylie
Jenner
Vanessa
Hudgens

POP OF
COLOUR
If you ever find
yourself wondering
about ways to break
the monotony of your
tonal outfits or how
to colour-block a
look, just reach out
for a bucket hat in a
vibrant hue. Exhibit A:
Kylie Jenner.

Billie
Eilish

upfront

Katy
Perry

A long, long time ago...well, in the
’80s, rappers like Flava Flav and
Big Daddy Kane kickstarted the
trend of dressing up one’s teeth
with grills dipped in diamonds
and gold. And to no-one’s suprise,
grills quickly became the It
accessory to represent the cuttingedge hip-hop culture at the time.
The painful-looking teeth jewels
briefly made a comeback in the
noughties, with sightings on
popstars like Katy Perry, Beyoncé,
Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, and more.
However, they managed to
achieve ‘mainstream’ status only
in the past year-and-a-half—you
know a trend has peaked when
Kim K sports it!
Now we know that all you
maximalists are rejoicing at the
thought of an iced smile, but
minimalists can get in on the
trend, too, by commiting to a
relatively cleaner pattern, or a
tiny gem attached to a tooth. To
paraphrase Beyoncé, ‘If you like it
then you shoulda put a grill on it’.

ou

ld

Lizzo

It

?

w
ks hella hot, but
d
en
r
t
are to tr y this
u d
o
y
o
lo

Rihanna
(Main
image and
right) Kim
Kardashian
West

Get Grillin‘
By: MEGHNA SHARMA

Meet the most thug beauty trend
of the moment: teeth grills.

Miley
Cyrus

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

upfront

5 Minutes with
Bhumi Pednekar

Cosmo: What sparked your love
affair with beauty?
Bhumi Pednekar: “I have always
been intrigued by the world of
beauty. I feel very fortunate to be
born in a family where I saw my
mom, aunts, and cousins change

26

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

their appearance as per their mood
with the help of make-up. And
growing up, I had access to all the
products they used—they never told
me not to wear make-up or touch
anything because my parents were of
the view that children should
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

experiment and have fun.
And now, beauty is therapeutic for
me. The time I spend in front of the
mirror—whether for my daily
skincare ritual, or to wear make-up—
feels so healthy and positive. It is like
self-care for me, you know, where I

Photographs: LAKSHETA MODGIL

The 32-year-old actor on caring for the environment, using make-up as a
tool to express herself, and her new role as Boddess.com’s first Brand
Ambassador and Collaborator. By Meghna Sharma

am appreciating myself and not
looking at my flaws. I don’t treat
make-up as a crutch to hide my flaws,
I use it to celebrate myself.”

C: Has your definition of beauty
changed over the years?
BP: “Oh absolutely, you evolve with
every experience. Beauty, for me, was
very ‘external’ earlier...because I
didn’t know better. But as I have
grown older, I have realised that
internal happiness is what actually
makes you feel beautiful. And it is not
about how someone else looks at you,
it is the way you feel about yourself.
Today, beauty is a holistic balance of
my mental and physical states, and I
give both equal importance.”
C: Do you have a go-to look, or
do you like to experiment?
BP: “I am constantly experimenting
with my look. I use a kohl and lipstick
pretty much every day, but I love,
love a full face of glamorous
make-up. It is something that I really
enjoy doing because it allows one to
be creative.”
C: Tell us about your association
with Boddess.com, as the
e-commerce platform’s first
Beauty Ambassador.
BP: “I think it comes with a lot of
responsibility. I have been using the
platform, and I am so impressed with
how immersive it is. Boddess is about
celebrating the person that you are,
supporting our community, having
fun, and finding one’s inner Goddess.
And I love this about the brand...it is
such an empowering message.”
C: Do the brand’s ethos resonate
with your personal beliefs?
BP: “I like to live life on my own
terms. And you can probably gauge
that through my work, which has been
very diverse. I consciously try not to
stick to any social code or orthodox
practices, and Boddess is trying to do
exactly that. As women, we wear so
many hats, and we don’t really
appreciate ourselves very often for

doing so. Boddess’ aim is to celebrate
every aspect of womanhood...to
empower women so that they can
start loving themselves. I feel selfappreciation and self-love are the first
steps towards living a happier life. If
you don’t appreciate yourself, you
can’t really spread the kind of joy that
you intend to. That’s why this
collaboration is very special.”

“If you don’t
appreciate
yourself, you
can’t really
spread the kind
of joy that you
intend to.”
C: Who are your beauty icons?
BT: “I love Lady Gaga—not only is
she a powerhouse performer, but she
is also unapologetically herself. It’s
something that I really
appreciate. Then there is
Rekhaji...who is just
flawless. And finally, RuPaul
[Charles]...again, such a
breakthrough artist.”
C: What is your skincare
philosophy—do you lean
towards clean beauty
products or swear by
science-backed formulas?
BP: “This is a tough one to
answer, because beauty is so
personal. I do believe in
science-backed skincare as
that has worked wonders for
me. But when it comes to
natural remedies, I haven’t
had much luck. And clean
beauty is great, you know,
but the definition of clean
beauty also varies from
brand to brand. I strongly
believe in being sustainable,

and that we must consume
responsibly to save the environment.”

C: Why do you think it is
important for us to be more
mindful of our impact on the
environment?
BP: “The answer is actually all
around us. If you have been watching
the news over the past few months,
there have been forest fires, flash
floods, mass migration along with
other climate change-related crisis.
When I was young, we used to read
about the adverse effects of climate
change, but I don’t think any of us
ever understood it till we
experienced it. I have lived in
Mumbai my entire life and I had
never seen a cyclone. And we have
had two in the last 18 months—and
they were traumatising.
I just feel like we, as a race, are
extremely selfish. We do not realise
that this planet is not just ours. Every
species that exists here has an equal
right to every resource available on
the planet. I feel human beings lack
compassion, and this conversation
needs to be at the forefront now
Q
more than ever.”

upfront

Here’s an AllEncompassing
Guide to
Using GenderNeutral
Pronouns
Because yes,
respecting
someone’s
pronouns is
important.
By Rachel Varina and
Michelle Stansbury

Photographs: ASHISH SHAH

Ramkali from Cosmo
April 2017 feature
titled We’re Treated
Less Like People,
More Like ‘Things’...”

28

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

Now before we dive deeper into the
subject and what gender-neutral
pronouns are like, it is important to
know that learning, using, and
respecting someone’s pronouns are a
necessary part of daily interaction.
So, whether you personally have
gender-neutral pronouns, are trying to
figure out which pronoun(s) are best
for you, or are looking to be a better
ally, you have come to the right place.
With the help of some experts, we are
breaking down everything you need to
know about gender-neutral pronouns.

WHAT ARE THE
GENDER-NEUTRAL
PRONOUNS?
New uses of language are constantly
evolving to encompass the diverse
experiences of gender. Here are some
of the most common gender-neutral
pronouns you should know:

A

s people are evolving—
both individually and as a
society—language, too,
continues to evolve. And
one of the most-exciting ways
language has progressed is through
the use and understanding of
gender-neutral pronouns.
According to the LGBTQIA+
Resource Center at University of
Wisconsin-Milwaukee, genderneutral pronouns are “inclusive
pronouns that do not associate any
gender with the individual being
discussed.” These are different than
he/his and she/hers pronouns, which
are specifically gendered pronouns.

1. They/Them/Their
The most frequently-used genderneutral pronouns are they/them/their.
“They/them are widely used among
those who do not identify with she/her
or he/him pronouns and are becoming
increasingly accepted into mainstream
culture,” says US-based Iris Gottlieb,
author and illustrator of the book,
Seeing Gender: An Illustrated Guide
To Identity And Expression.
The main misconception
surrounding the pronouns they/them is
that they are grammatically incorrect
because they are plural pronouns.
However, we use they/them/their in
singular ways often, such as: ‘Someone
left their phone’. One of the reasons
they/them/their is widely used is
because the words are familiar, making
them easier and quicker to adopt than
some of the less familiar pronouns.

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

2. Ze/Zir/Zirs (pronounced zee/
here/heres)
If you are wondering why there are
additional pronoun options when
‘they’ is already available, US-based
therapist Stefanie Juliano, a licensed
clinical professional counsellor,
explains that something like ze/zir/
zirs offers a sense of identity instead
of the absence of one. “Ze feels like it
is associated with the presence of
another gender besides male/female
rather than just the neutrality of
gender. It is sort of like having the
options on a gender list saying male,
female, non-binary, or genderqueer
instead of listing only male, female,
or ‘other’.”

Takshi from
Cosmo April
2017 feature
titled We’re
Treated Less
Like People,
More Like
‘Things’...”

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

29

upfront

THE HISTORY OF
GENDER-NEUTRAL
PRONOUNS
The 2019 Merriam-Webster word of
the year was ‘they’, showing how
widely relevant and important it has
become to understand genderneutral pronouns. But 2019 was not
the start of gender-neutral pronouns.
In fact, linguist and Founder of
Meridian Linguistics, China-based

30

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

Samaira from
Cosmo April 2017
feature titled
“We’re Treated
Less Like People,
More Like
‘Things’...”

Sara Maria Hasbun says genderless
pronouns are actually as old as time.
“Many languages, including Korean
and Turkish, use genderless pronouns
exclusively,” she explains. “Chinese
only specifies the gender when
writing but not when speaking.”
As for English, it is not quite as
clear when genderless pronouns first
appeared, but Sara says they’ve been
around pretty much since English
started sounding like the language we
use today (which was around the
1500s, FYI). “It is very possible
genderless pronouns were used
earlier than that and just didn’t make
it into writing,” she explains.

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

HOW TO USE
GENDER-NEUTRAL
PRONOUNS
If you are new to using genderneutral pronouns, you might be
wondering how to form a sentence
with words like ‘they’ replacing words
like ‘he’ or ‘she’. Sara says in
traditional American English dialect,
it is standard to follow the prescribed
verb agreement. For example: you
would say, ‘They like to go to the
store’ (as opposed to ‘they likes’ to go
to the store), even when talking about
a singular person. If that sounds
strange, Sara says to keep in mind
verb-agreement rules are pretty
much gibberish in any language. “In

*Name has been changed

3. Ey/Em/Eirs (pronounced ay/em/
airs)
Ey/em/eirs are shortened versions of
they/them/their that began use in
1975, when Christine Elverson from
Skokie, Illinois entered and won a
contest by the Chicago Association of
Business Communicators to find
neutral pronouns.
4. Mx. (pronounced miks)
Mx. is the non-binary version of Ms/
Mrs/Miss/Mr, terms referred to as
honorifics. So for example, you could
address a formal invitation or letter to
Mx. [last name].
5. Proper Name Only
Debi Jackson, Founder and diversity
trainer of US-based Gender Inc, a
consulting services for gender
inclusivity, and also mother of a
transgender daughter, shares that not
everyone has pronouns that work for
them. “Language is vast and can
encompass a lot of ideas, but it still
has its limitations. I know several
non-binary, trans folks who do not
feel comfortable with any pronoun
options out there. In that case, it
takes some effort to structure
sentences without the use of a
pronoun, but it can be done. For
example, ‘Mehr* has an upcoming
appointment with Dr Brown. Please
remind Mehr to arrive 15 minutes
early and to fill out Mehr’s insurance
information before arriving. Mehr
can check in online or at the front
desk once Mehr arrives’. The person’s
name is used a lot, but that is better
than attaching language on that
person that does not feel comfortable
or safe.”

HOW TO KNOW
WHAT PRONOUNS
ARE BEST FOR YOU
It can feel a little confusing if you
are not sure what pronoun(s) to
use or which ones are best for
you. The trick is to just try them
out to see what works. “It’s kind
of like trying on a new shade of
lipstick,” explains Australia-based
lived experience educator and
advocate Sonny Jane. “You might
need to wear it for a while to see
if it’s your shade or not (and
sometimes our ‘shade’ might
change too, and that’s okay!)”.
They recommends asking your
friends or inner circle to call you
the pronouns you are interested
in to test out how they feel.
Also, it is okay if your pronouns
evolve and change over time.
This isn’t a one-size-fits-allforever kind of thing, so give
yourself grace and be open to
evolving your language usage and
identity.

HOW TO SHARE
YOUR PRONOUNS
WITH OTHERS
If you feel ready to share your
pronouns, there are a few ways
you can do it. “Share with your
most educated and supportive
friends and community first,”
advises licensed US-based

“We have to trust that people
will use the pronouns that feel
best for them and not question it.”

Spanish, you use third-person
verb endings when speaking to a
formal ‘you’,” she says. “Why?
Because language. There’s no use
fighting it.”
And Sara strongly encourages
everyone to adapt their language
usage. “It’s worth putting your
best efforts into accommodating
pronoun requests as part of
being a respectful human being,”
she explains.

marriage and family therapist
Adrienne Michelle. This way,
you won’t be faced with the
dual task of sharing your
identity and having to educate.
When/if you want to expand
the convo, Sonny notes it can
be helpful to simply explain
what pronouns are and why
they are an important part of
your identity. “That makes it
easier when you explain how
changing your pronouns is
important for your well-being,”
they explain.
Just to be clear though, it is
not your job to educate anyone
on the importance of pronouns
or defend why you are using
them. So whether you tell
family, social media followers,
or friends, Sonny says you are
“allowed to share your
pronouns in a way that’s
comfortable and safe for you”.
Do what feels best.

HOW TO ASK FOR
SOMEONE’S
PRONOUNS
The best way to learn
someone’s pronouns is by
simply stating yours. “Introduce
yourself first with your
pronouns,” advises New Jerseybased relationship therapist
Darcy Sterling, PhD, and host
of E!’s television series,
Famously Single. “Stay away
from using specific pronouns
like she/her and he/him if you
do not know someone’s
pronouns yet.”
Iris says understanding
proper use of gender-neutral
pronouns extends beyond just
asking people and points out
that someone “might prefer
‘he/him’ in a business context
and ‘they/them’ around
friends.” “Ultimately, we have
to trust that people will use the
pronouns that feel best for
them and not question it,” Iris
adds. “And if later, those
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

pronouns change, then the new
pronouns should be adopted. We
all want people to respect our
gender identities and
expressions, and asking for
pronouns is a simple way to gain
information to better understand
one another and ensure we
address each other in a way that
feels good.”

WHAT TO DO IF
YOU ARE
MISGENDERED
First off, so sorry that happened.
Second off, you may want to
practise how you will react so you
can be better prepared if it
happens again. “Practising may
sound silly, but it can help you
feel comfortable for the situation
when it arises,” says Darcy.
Also, you should correct
someone only if you feel
comfortable, but as Sonny wisely
notes, “your gender is valid and
who you are deserves to be
respected”. They suggest simply
pointing out that you use *(insert
your pronouns here)* and
moving on, like you would
correct someone for pronouncing
your name incorrectly.
Adrienne adds that if someone
continues to confuse your
pronouns—whether accidentally
or intentionally—ask a pal to
back you up in correcting them.
This is the perfect time to get
your support system involved,
and the next thing you know,
everyone will be shouting your
correct pronouns the next time
Q
someone gets them wrong.

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

31

FAST GL AM
HOT FASHION, HOT BEAUTY, IT’S ALL HERE

Autumn/Winter

Trend
Report

21-22

Walk into the season armed with the
most buzzworthy silhouettes and
styles that will make you look
smokin‘ hot on cold winter days.
By Sneham Choudhary;
Text by: Meghna Sharma

COLOUR CRUSH
Shaking up the colour wheel,
red has made a surprise entry
into the season to spruce up
your winter wardrobe. It might
be a bold hue, but one that
mingles well with other shades
to create an eye-pleasing effect.
While designers mostly served
monotone looks—a smattering
of evening gowns, pantsuits,
and luxe loungewear—invest
in a layering piece (like a
blazer, cape or a jacket) to get
maximum ‘wear’ out of it. Also,
opting for lighter fabrics will
ensure you can wear the hue all
year-round.

OHEMIAN SPIRIT
This season’s boho-chic pieces are
the epitome of easy glamour. Rich
fabrics, embroidered patterns,
eclectic prints, and happy hues...
whether you opt for a co-ordinated
look or mix ’n‘ match separates to
channel your unique personality,
there are options galore. We are
especially kicked about boho
loungewear, à la Payal Singhal,
and printed-blouse-and-flaredpants looks, seen at Anna Sui and
Zimmermann that work for both day
and night.

LIMERICK BY ABIRR N’ NANKI

VALENTINO

M

PANKAJ & NIDHI

PÉRO BY ANEETH ARORA

CHANEL

TISHARTH BY SHIVANI

DURAN LANTINK

FENDI

NIRMOOHA

SAINT LAURENT

fast glam

DOLCE & GABBANA

It is time to show off those
shapely pins...and nothing
can do it better than an ittybitty mini. The short dresses
served up at the AW runways
ranged from day-time chic to
night-time glamorous, while
skirts offer more versatility.
Pastel, printed, textured,
embroidered...all versions are
a go this season, and will help
you score major style points.

ELIE SAAB

ETRO

INI MASTERPIECES

FALL IN LINE
Countless iterations
of the striped pattern
made an appearance
on the runways this
season—horizontal,
vertical, thin,
thick, two-toned,
monotoned, printed,
and sparkly, among
others. We are
especially digging the
matchy-matchy vibe at
Chloé, subtle glamour
at Missoni, clash
culture at Stella Jean,
and lines in gradation
at Burberry. While
other casual-meetsstriking versions at
Paul Smith, Chola,
and Maje are perfect
for those who love
easy silhouettes.

BURBERRY
THOM BROWNE

ALBERTA FERRETTI

OUTRYT

ELISABETTA FRANCHI

CELINE

H

GUCCI

Hats are perhaps the most
underrated accessory in your
closet. Just like the perfect pair of
shoes, a hat can lend that ‘finished
look’ to an ensemble. This season’s
glorious roster includes styles like
wide-brim, bowler and bucket hats,
baseball caps, and berets, that hold
the power to transform a regular
look into très chic, instantly. If you
are new to the world of hats, pick
neutral shades, while others looking
to expand their collection can go
wild and pick standout prints.

CHANEL

ETRO

NIRMOOHA

OT HEADED

FOR FLORALS
The blooming bouquet of styles
at the Autumn/Winter runways is
making our hearts flutter. Designers
capitalised on the versatilty and yearround appeal of this pattern to create
a host of minimalist and OTT pieces.
From no-fuss maxi dresses and skirts
to co-ord sets with exaggerated
sleeves, and quilted jackets to
dreamy, embroidered outerwear...
there is nary a silhouette florals did
not grace this year.

THE GLITTERATI
The grown-up glitter theme was adopted by many
a designer across the globe. While Chanel, Dolce &
Gabbana, and Tisharth by Shivani rolled out partyappropriate numbers in the form of co-ord sets and
cut-out dresses, many conservative silhouettes like midi
dresses, overcoats, and trenches received a sparkling
makeover this season. Models at Prada, Valentino,
Bloni, Payal Pratap, and Elie Saab among many others
proved that risqué styles are not the only way you can
be loud and proud—OOTD-wise.

fast glam

For the
Love of
Local
Some of our
favourite fashion
enthusiasts let us in
on their mosttreasured pieces by
Indian designers, and
what makes these
picks so special.
By Manveen Guliani

R IYA JAI N ,
FAS HI ON BL OG G ER
“I have been crushing over whites
lately and this monochrome combo
impeccably complements the summer
season. Striking a perfect balance
between minimalism and glamour, this
ivory dress by Cuin is my absolute
favourite, and makes for one of the
most-versatile pieces in my wardrobe.
I often style it in multiple ways, without
anybody realising that I am wearing the
same outfit. I admire the aesthetics
of Cuin—they mindfully curate their
looks and their silhouettes are simple
yet elegant. During the day, I like to
pair this dress with a white blazer and
boots (as seen here), and for the night,
I add a black belt with some dainty
accessories to the mix.”

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AYESHA KANGA, MODEL

Photograph: AKSHAY PAWAR; Photography Assistant: TRISHA KANGA

“I couldn’t pick just one thing,
so I opted for an ensemble cast
comprising a chanderi dress by Péro,
and a silk shirt and contrasting corset
belt from a thrift store called Bombay
Closet Cleanse. The dress perfectly
highlights the originality of Indian
fashion and its splendid ethnicity. I like
to accessorise it with contemporary
jewellery to glam it up as per the
occasion. I like playing around with
different sartorial elements whenever
I am putting together a look, and
often switch these platform heels with
chunky boots and fishnet stockings to
create an entirely fresh outfit.”

AYES HA CHEN OY,
AUTH OR AND
EN TREPR EN EU R
B EN AFS HA S OONAWALL A ,
DIG ITA L CO NT ENT C REATO R
“Taking power dressing to a whole new level is this sleek skirtsuit from KAYB. Burgundy is my go-to colour as I feel it emits
sheer elegance and grace, and it also seamlessly complements
the clean and well-tailored silhouette of this suit. I feel nothing
short of royalty every time I wear it—plus the deep neckline
adds sublime sexiness. A fan of all things bodycon, I like the way
it fits me like a glove and elevates my work game during the
day...at night, it keep the vibe fun and sensual.”

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

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“This cool co-ord set (including
a dress and a pair of pants), by
Ashray Gujral’s high-street label
dash and dot, is one of the most
versatile pieces I own. Whenever I
wear it, I feel like I am dressed in
a sexy piece of art. The cheery,
multi-hued duo has helped me
beat the lockdown blues, and I
love that it can be dressed up or
down, depending on the occasion.
I usually wear just the dress with
flip flops for casual brunches,
and pair both the pieces with high
heels for a night-out.”

SONALI BATRA,
CO-FOUNDER AND CURATOR, GREAT BANYAN
ART AND MI CASA COLLECTIVE
“With work-from-home being the norm this past year, I have only been
wearing loungewear and kaftans. So, when it came to showcasing Indian
designers, I immediately knew I wanted to wear this beautiful mango-floral
print kaftan by Aprita Mehta. Besides its vibrant, ochre hue and floral print
that are reminiscent of the tropics, I love its delicate detailing of cowrie
shells and mirrors. What makes this kaftan an especially meaningful
purchase for me is the fact that I had bought it as a part of Arpita Mehta’s
COVID-19 relief fundraiser in May 2021, where 100% proceeds from the
sales were donated to charity. I wear this piece with just a pair of slides
during daytime, and add golden hoops and a clutch for a night-out.”

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

45

fast glam

Après
Swim...
Hell
Yeah,
Right?
With the whole world
headed to the
Maldives, these
gorge finds will help
you get that postpool aesthetic.
By Lauren Adhav

must!

Sunglasses,
Cutler & Gross
at The
Collective,
`19,200

Compiled By: SNEHAM CHOUDHARY; Fashion Intern: AMISHA ZALANI

sa
si

A versa

THE
TRICK
Invest in sneaky
underthings like nip
covers or sticky
bras so no straps
distract from your
final look.

pair of
sha
tile
de

SHIVAN & NARRESH

Galibi High Bikini
Top, `3,502, and
matching bottom,
`1,854, both
Hunkemöller

Lyocell-blend
crop top, `1,299,
and shorts,
`1,400, both
H&M

Barocco
patchwork print
beach kaftan,
Versace,
`1,04,700

Gulaab Mini
Tassel Dress, Ash
and Eden, `2,499

Sun hat,
Forever
New, `1,364

IT’S
A LIFESTYLE
And just like après-ski, swap
the sipping-cabernet-by-thefire-in-your-chicest-sweater for
a fun swimsuit or a breezy
dress along with a chilled glass
of rosé. Oh, and replace the
fireplace with actual sun and
welcome them tan lines!

Wrap top,
Scotch &
Soda, `5,330

Quilted
slides, CAI
Store,
`1,399

Bequela
Halter Gown,
Deme by
Gabriella,
`16,500

Dress, Ted
Baker, `8,000

Compiled By: SNEHAM CHOUDHARY; Fashion Intern: Amisha Zalani

to
dy

make
a

Playsuit,
Zara, `1,990

s

Hoops,
Isharya, `3,499

sh!
pla

Get r
ea

Basket bag, The
Pink City Edit,
`3,500

The Sunset
Weave Square
Bucket Bag,
Rara Avis,
`25,648

Padded bandeau
swimsuit, Marks &
Spencer, `2,008

Dress,
Missoni,
`1,410
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

47

fast glam

Your Current #OOTD is Missing a

Baguette Bag,

Just Thought You Should Know
Sure, she’s small, but she’s
mighty chic.

Rafia Candy
Armsling Bag,
Mio Borsa,
`3,000
Pillow Tabby
26 Leather
Shoulder Bag,
Coach,
`39,690

Style these
delish bbs with a
halter neck and bright,
flared pants...and oh,
you know what’s gonna
look good? Candy
jewellery and
chunky rings!

Sasha Baguette
Bag,
Accessorize,
`3,845

Interwoven
Baguette Bag,
Michael Kors,
`47,434

Th

Irene Soft
Gathered
Shoulder Bag,
Miraggio,
`3,499

48

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

ulean b
lue is
cer
s
i
ed!
prov
r
P
p
i
e
a
s
a
t
l
y
d
n
a
Mir

Compiled By: ZUNAILI MALIK; Text By: KIM DUONG

Baguette bag
with
detachable
sling strap,
Replay,
`12,999

fast glam

Brown Actually *is*
Your Colour
And it is the easiest way to look like the most stylish person in
the room. Here are some options to get you rolling...
Sunglasses,
Burberry,
price on
request

Bucket
bag,
Charles &
Keith,
`8,499

Trousers,
Freakins,
price on
request

Kourtney
Kardashian

Top, Zara,
`2,490

Skirt,
H&M,
`1,499

Belt,
Louis
Vuitton,
price on
request

Bella
Hadid

Tote bag,
Michael
Kors,
`78,000

Sandals,
Mango,
`4,590

50

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

Tank top,
Ted Baker,
`7,000
approx

Trousers,
United
Colors of
Benetton,
`5,000

Midi dress,
Forever
New,
`8,000

Belt,
American
Eagle,
`2,499
Sunglasses,
Vogue
Eyewear, price
on request

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

Text By: LAUREN ADHAV; Compiled By: MANVEEN GULIANI; Images: GETTYIMAGES.COM

Deepika
Padukone

Sandals,
Chini
Chouhan,
`1,790

ADVERTORIAL
Cosmo: What inspired you to launch your own jewellery brand?
Ritika Ravi: “I have always loved jewellery. I realised my true
passion for it while studying in London, where I explored different
aspects of fashion, and discovered that my ability to think and
design were always more inclined towards jewellery. As Indians,
we generally consider jewellery as an investment. We buy
beautiful pieces and then keep them locked up in a safe. I wanted
to create the kind of jewellery that was not only beautiful but also
wearable, something that can be used and enjoyed often.”

The 10.18
Zero 2 Ring

C: Tell us about your design aesthetics.
RR: “My design aesthetic has always been about elegance and
minimalism. In my collections, I have always highlighted Indian
craftsmanship and heritage in a contemporary style, and I think
that has resulted in the kind of jewellery that can be worn on
any occasion.”
C: Where do you draw inspiration from?
RR: “My first two collections—The 10.18 and Troubadour—are
inspired by the pristine beauty of the Maldives. While The 10.18
explores the various hues of the sparkling sand and blue waters,
Troubadour is inspired by the organic shapes that the island has
to offer. My third collection, Charu, is an ode to my mother, who
has influenced and inspired so much of who I am.”
C: How would you describe the quintessential ‘IVAR’ woman?
RR: “The IVAR woman is someone who is confident, elegant, and
has a laid-back yet sophisticated style. I aim to add to her inner
strength and beauty through my jewel pieces.”

Ritika Ravi
The 10.18 Zero 3
Ring

C: Which are some of your personal favourites and why?
RR: “The polki earrings—Zero 1 Earrings—from The 10.18 collection
are a must-have as they are truly iconic and representative of our
brand. I also am partial to the array of rings from the Charu
collection that are traditional but with a modern twist.”
Log on to www.ivarjewelry.com to shop the collections, and
follow on Instagram: @ivarbyritikaravi, and Facebook:
IVARbyRitikaRavi

SOPHISTICATED
SPARKLES

Charu Zero
1 Ring

Looking for contemporary jewel pieces that work for all
occasions? Consider IVAR Fine Jewelry by Ritika Ravi,
that offers luxurious, dainty designs, perfect for the
modern woman.

A

s we all look forward to stepping out and travelling more,
our sartorial aspirations desire minimalistic jewels to
accent our daily wardrobe. IVAR Fine Jewelry, founded
by Ritika Ravi, was conceived with a similar thought.
Drawing inspiration from beautiful landscapes, the young luxury
brand offers an international appeal—fusing together Indian
antiquity and clean, concurrent designs. Read on to learn more
about the brand and what keeps Ritika inspired.

Charu Zero
2 Ring

The 10.18
Zero 5
Earrings

Lingerie...
On the Outside

fast glam

You paid for this slip!
Ppl need to see it!

2

But showing
off is the
point
Sheer blouses,
open cardigans,
and tops with low
necklines will let
your—very bright,
very colourful,
please!—
underthings shine.

3
1

Care is also
ver y imp

Outerwear
makes i t
work

Lingerie is fussy
as hell, and you
can’t just throw it
in the wash willynilly. If you want
your delicates to
last (and, you
know, be able to
transition back to
the bedroom), it’s
handwashing or
dry cleaning
for you.

Adding a coat to
the mix helps
turn visible
skivvies into ~An
Intentional
Look~. No coat
can turn it into
’Got Locked Out
of My Apt at
3am. Have You
Seen My Keys?!’,
if not done right.
Priyanka
Chopra Jonas
Top, Gucci,
`87,724

Bralette,
Hunkemöller,
`3,702

Corset,
Victoria’s
Secret,
`10,015

Slip dress,
Burberry,
price on
request
W

52

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

cal
re
’
e

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

ling

n
i t : 2 0 2 1’ s b e s t t r e n d . B c y o u c a

Bodysuit,
Zara,
`1,590

it.

Some
undergarment
suggest ions to
g r a b l ’a t t e n t i o n
If you’re gonna up
your underwear
game, you might as
well get the credit.

Bralette,
H&M,
`1,499

e
sle

p

in

By: LAUREN ADHAV; Compiled By: AARUSHI GARG; Lead Photograph: GETTYIMAGES.COM

Bustier,
Dior, price
on request

R
Shine
Bright...

S

vski, `27,900

Lucent Co
ck
ta
il

Max
i

alism at
m

best!
its

Amber
Bouquet Ring,
Outhouse,
`4,800

g,
in

ro
wa

Double

fin

ge

rr
ing
, Ro

ckkRagaa, `5
, 50
0

Crystal ring,
Tsara, `7,500

Transcend Ring
Amethyst, Eina
Ahluwalia, `7,950

Entwine
Ring,
Prerto,
`4,300

My
Precious...

Whether or not you are a fan of Lord Of
The Rings, you can’t deny that these
bold beauties hold the power to spruce
up any outfit and light up any room.
Party

Pr
inc
e
ss

Co

ck

isman, `2
ing, Tal
, 29
9

By: SNEHAM CHOUDHARY; Lead image: GETTYIMAGES.COM

R
tail

Evil Eye
Statement
Ring, Valliyan
by Nitya Arora,
`5,562

Partners
In Stone
Ring,
Zariin,
`2,815

Floral crystal ring,
Esme by Aashna
Dalmia, `5,700
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

53

fast glam

Rectangular Sunglasses
are Better Than Every Other Sunglass Shape
The boxier, the better!
2

1

3

ICYMI, retro fashun is
def here, folks. Embrace
it by wearing these shades
with a fuzzy top and some
butterfly clips. Or make it
modern by donning a pair
as part of a
monochromatic
outfit.

4

Billie
Eilish

6

7

1. B Motif
bio-acetate
sunglasses,
Burberry, price
on request.
2. Polarized
Caribbean
Rectangular
Sunglasses,
Ray-Ban,
`12,190.
3. Mustard
sunglasses, Post
Malone X
Arnette, `8,490.
4. Retro-style
sunglasses,
Mango, `1,790.
5. Colourful
sunglasses with
matching frame,
Zara, `1,890.
6. Rectangular,
unisex
sunglasses,
Diesel, `11,700.
7. Pink
sunglasses,
Vogue Eyewear,
`7,290.

Compiled By: SNEHAM CHOUDHARY; Text By: MEGAN UY

5

Can a Bra Change
Your Look?
Of course! As long as it is
comfortable, versatile, and...invisible.
R
SUPE OOOT
H

Compiled By: SNEHAM CHOUDHARY; Text By: MEGHNA SHARMA

Deepika
Padukone

BALCONETTE BR A

BACKLESS BR A

The wide-set straps and
demi cups in this style offer
less coverage for an
emphasis on your natural
cleavage, allowing you to
flaunt your curves.

Perfect for clothes with a
low, low back—à la Deepika
Padukone—this stick-on
bra stays hidden while
offering the necessary
‘push’ and support.

Sumptuously Soft
Padded Strapless Bra,
Marks & Spencer, `2,499

Adhesive Push-Up
Bra, Hunkemöller,
`3,091

TRIANGLE BR A

FULL CUP BR A

Flaunt plunging necklines
with ease as this style—
available in both padded and
non-padded variants—offers
support to your breasts
without you worrying about it
playing peek-a-boo.

If you have a bigger cup size
and are uncomfortable with
the idea of detachable straps
that may snap, this style can
help keep everything in place
along with offering a decent
push-up effect to your
décolletage.

Triangle Bra, Calvin
Klein, `3,047

One Cup
Reversible
Tulle Bra,
Mango, `2,390

The Comfort Edit Lightly
Lined Bra, La Senza,
`5,803

NIPPLE
CONCEALER
On days you don’t want
anything holding you
back (even your bra!),
these lightweight nipple
pasties will set you free.
No-Show Nipple
Concealers,
Amante, `495

STR APLESS BR A
This functional, versatile bra
goes with literally
everything, and will hold you
in good stead. Padded,
strapless styles come with
boned side beams that lends
a gravity-defying effect.
B.tempt’d Future Foundation
Wire Free Strapless Bra,
Wacoal, `3,270

INCLUSIVITY AT ITS BEST
In a bid to help women who have undergone a breast mastectomy, highstreet brand Mango has just launched a new version of ‘Lola’, the first
single-cup bra created in a craft workshop, with the aim of providing
more underwear options for women with a single breast.
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

55

fast glam

Street Style

We took the battle of the best-dressed to
people’s homes (hello, social distancing!),
and were so impressed by your style
picks and outfit choices.

NAVDEEP KAUR, 30
“I love pantsuits an d the
checkered pattern...and
this look combines the two
in a way that it is striking
without being over-the-top.”

56

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

ZAINAB
SHAKIR, 22
“Multitasking
printed
scarves are
one of my
favourite
accessories.
I have styled
mine as a
headgear
and kept the
rest of the
look simple
to allow it to
be the focal
point.”

By: MANVEEN GULIANI

SHIVANI
RAJANI, 23
“I decided to
dress up my
basic, oversized
blazer with a
harness belt to
add definition,
while the heartprint stockings
add a dose of fun
to the look.”

RIDDHI
AGRAWAL,
21
“This is my
version of
tonal dressing
featuring a
pair of comfy
trousers, a
snug camisole,
and an
oversized shirt,
all in different
shades of
dusty rose.”

NICOLE
MEHTA, 29
“Can you ever
go wrong with
an all-white
look? This
easy-breezy
silhouette
makes me feel
comfortable
and
empowered at
the same time.”

TANGA HAGA,
27
“This slate-grey
pantsuit is a quirky
juxtaposition of
playful and formal
elements, which
I love. A pair
of classic, black
boots is the only
accessory I needed
to complement this
unique suit with
an asymmetric
hemline.”

MUSKAN
RAWAT, 19
“This leopardprint blouse
instantly adds
a chic touch to
the crop topand-cycling
shorts combo,
while the gold
necklaces add
to the plush
vibe.”

SHIVANI
RAKESH
RAITHTHA, 24
“This look
showcases my love
for earthy hues in
all its glory. The
star of the show,
however, is this
pair of combat
boots that add
an edge to the
ensemble.”
ANDREA
KURIAN, 25
“The black
and while
combination is
a classic, and I
have given it a
twist by playing
with different
textures to add
depth to my
#OOTD.”

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

57

fast glam
COORDINATED MUCH?

Artists
Sumir
Tagra
and
Jiten
Thukral

MOSCHINO

TREND
OF THE
MONTH

JACQUEMUS

BALMAIN

MAX MARA

Since most of us have been living in our matching
loungewear sets, designers used that as a cue to bring
back happy hues for the dreary winter days ahead.
Monotone head-to-toe looks at the Autumn-Winter 21
runways (shoes and accessories included) were spotted
in a host of shades, including pretty pastels, bright pinks,
vivid yellows, and rich greens and reds. And there are
options galore for all style personalities. Check out Balmain
to satiate your love for futuristic silhouettes, Jacquemus to
nail the cazjh-cool vibe, Moschino if you can’t get enough
of retro glamour, and Max Mara for snug-meets-chic pieces
that have the power to turn into classics.

THE ART OF TIME

Rado recently collaborated with artist duo Thukral and Tagra to add a new
timepiece to the True Square Collection—fourth in a series of the luxury
watchmaker’s collaboration with artists and designers the world over. Inspired
by the temporality of being, the True Square “Over the Abyss” highlights the
power and importance of human connection. The matte blue piece’s lacquer dial
features 37 ‘rays’—designed by Thukral and Tagra—representing 37 timezones,
along with a colour gradation that starts from blue and ends in pink. What we love
about this piece is that the local time is superimposed on these 37 hands, legible
via two SuperLuminovas that rest at the end of both the hour and minute hands.

Style
News

GET
THIS!

THE NEWEST, LATEST, AND
MOST TALKED-ABOUT
FASHION STUFF
By Meghna Sharma

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

True Square “Over
The Abyss” Watch,
Rado, price on
request

ENDLESS
SUMMER

White
starfish
studs,
Summer
Somewhere
x Kira,
`5,600

Shell with pearl
earrings, `4,600, and
pearl rings bundle,
`7,100 (set of 3)

High-street brand Summer
Somewhere has collaborated
with homegrown jewellery label
Kira to create the perfect trinkets
to go with their easy-breezy
silhouettes. Amalgamating the
aesthetics of both the brands, this
collaboration features handcrafted
pieces created from 80 percent
recycled materials. Capturing the
essence of a dreamy summer, the
collection comprises a selection of
gold-tone necklaces, earrings, and
rings in travel-inspired designs,
encompassing shells, pearls,
starfish, and palm trees.

A FOLK TALE

Luxury label Saundh is known for their unique blend
of contemporary silhouettes and striking designs.
And with the festive season just around the corner,
Saundh has unveiled their latest campaign, Kalp
Haat, a collection of five mini-capsules inspired
by different regions of India. The brand’s new
collection reinterprets the lesser-explored heritage
art forms of the subcontinent—like ganjifa, saura,
thangka, and sohrai khovar—through traditional
embroideries, classic motifs, surface ornamentation,
and handcrafted embellishments on rich fabrics.
The brand’s aim is to make these art forms more
relevant for the modern woman by shifting focus on
the rich legacy of India through their creations.

WATCH
OUT
FOR

All images from Saundh’s Kalp Haat campaign
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

59

fast glam
TRAVEL BACK
IN TIME

Ekaya Banaras, India’s first
handloom luxury brand, has been
studying old heirloom saris of
their patrons for adaptation and
revival for years now. And inspired
by this exercise, the brand has
launched The Revival Project—
Ekaya’s private collaboration
with each client where they will
examine old woven heirlooms
to help preserve, restore, and
revive the delicate pieces and the
memories they hold. The project
aims at protecting the expressions
of the weaving culture of India by
revitalising old textiles, allowing
future generations to wear and
cherish these treasured pieces.

All
images
from
Ekaya’s
The
Revival
Project

CONVERSATION STARTERS

If you are on a hunt for quirky jewel pieces, then Kichu
Dandiya’s eponymous label fits the bill perfectly. Kichu
studied jewellery design at Central Saint Martins, London,
and returned to Jaipur to get first-hand experience of working
with local artisans before she launched her brand in 2014.
The designer draws inspiration from various ethnicities to
create visually-modern pieces seeped in tradition.

OLD IS
GOLD

Green
resort
collar coord shirt,
`2,299

Pink top,
`1,499
Printed
T-shirt,
`1,999
Mid-rise
slouchy fit
jeans,
`3,999
Blue denim
co-ord top,
`2,299

Graphic
print co-ord
shorts,
`1,999

COOL COLLAB ALERT

EDITOR’S
PICK

ONLY’s latest drop in collaboration with Flabjacks is just what
you need to add some fun to your wardrobe. The limitededition collection brings to life chubby, odd folks and quirky,
inanimate things, illustrated by artist Ton Mak, in street
style-worthy silhouettes. The featured characters have been
designed to resonate with everyday life and pair perfectly with
ONLY’s ethos, resulting in an understated-yet-strong collection
that can be dressed up or down as per one’s mood.

Dextera Hoop
Earrings,
Swarovski,
price on
request

SPARKLING FINDS

Gemma Stud
Earrings,
Swarovski,
price on
request

Chroma
Pendant,
Swarovski,
price on
request

LUST
LIST

Cocktail
ring,
Swarovski,
price on
request

Dextera Ear
Cuffs,
Swarovski,
price on
request

Dextera Hoop
Earrings,
Swarovski,
price on
request

PAUSE FOR A STYLISH MOMENT

For the second installment of
Swarovski’s Wonderlab collection, the
brand’s new Creative Director Giovanna
Engelbert seeked inspiration from
the brand’s rich Austrian heritage.
Giovanna investigated the design
principles of crystal, cut, colour, and
geometry to create pieces that strike
a balance between playfulness and
glamour. Speaking about the same,
Giovanna says, “I wanted to dive
deeper into a love affair with Austrian
arts and crafts, notably the influences
of the Wiener Werkstätte [design
movement] and Gustav Klimt, while
bringing in a modernity to the organic
ways [in which] shape and form can
be represented.” The collection,
comprising earrings, cocktail rings,
and necklaces—featuring bold gems in
silver and gold tones—is now available
in Swarovski stores across the country.

Made-to-measure service is often associated with menswear, however, young, homegrown label
Pause is all set to change that. Launched in 2016, Pause’s USP is that they custom-create
easy-to-wear, comfortable clothes for women of every shape, age, and size. The label suffered
a temporary setback due to the pandemic, but soon joined Tomorrowland Apparels Pvt. Ltd
(the parent of Bombay Shirt Company), to bring back personalised, inclusive, responsibly-made
garments for women who want to look stylish, while feeling comfortable and also caring for the
environment. The brand offers stylish co-ord sets, dresses, skirts, tees, and more in sombre
hues and on-trend prints and patterns like stripes, tie-dye, florals, etc.

LABEL
OF THE
MONTH

fast glam

Fresh and Breezy
Meet the sparkling new fragrances that will keep the spirit of
summer alive long after the season’s gone.
Photographs: Yoon Songyi; Beauty Director: Ha Yun Jin

(From left to right)
On Joo-Ah: Dress, H&M;
earrings, Primote;
Givenchy Trouble-Fête de
Givenchy EDP
On Hye-Won: Dress,
stylist’s own; earrings, Rita
Monica; Dior Miss Dior
Rose N’Roses EDT
On Hee-Sun: Top and skirt,
both All Romantic;
earrings, Rita Monica; Jo
Malone London Yellow
Hibiscus Cologne

fast glam
Top, And
Other
Stories;
YSL Libre
EDT

Top, Mango;
straw hat,
stylist’s own;
D.S. & Durga
Debaser EDP

fast glam

(Clockwise)
Aerin Rose de
Grasse EDP;
Giorgio Armani
My Way EDP;
Ex Nihilo
Cologne 352

Dolce &
Gabbana
Dolce Rose
EDT and Dolce
Peony EDP

Models: Yeo HyeWon, Choi Joo-Ah,
and Kim Hee-Sun;
Hair: Young-Eun
Kwon; Make-Up: Lee
Young; Stylist: Park
Mi-Kyung; Assistant:
Jiyoon Park and
Park Min-Soo

fast glam

Hash Brownie
featured in
the June 2019
issue Cosmo

Did Drag Queens Teach
Us Everything We Know
About Make-Up Today?
The roots of the most crucial moments in beauty can be traced back to the
drag culture. We decode how the community has shaped trends over the
years by lending us key techniques for a flawless face. By Meghna Sharma
68

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

Photograph: HORMIS ANTONY THARAKAN

If you have watched
one too many drag
queen transformation
videos, you would know
that they have some
mean make-up skills up
their sleeve. The way
drag queens created
their personas with
the help of make-up is
awe-inspiring. But drag
culture isn't a recent
phenomenon...historians
have documented
that men have been
dressing up as female
impersonators (aka
drag) since the 1700s.
It is no wonder their
skills are so good...they
have had hundreds of
years of practice! We
looked up some of the
most trending make-up
trends and techniques
of recent times and,
unsurprisingly, many
have been borrowed
from the queens.

Sasha
Velour

Kim
Kardashian
West

|||

Drag queens are known for their
no-holds-barred make-up. And their
creativity truly knows no bounds,
especially when it comes to decking up
their lids. We have seen some stunning
glitter-packed action come our way
on the runways in the past few years,
courtesy the backstage pros. However,
we now know that their main source of
inspiration comes from drag queens,
who are known to mix a variety of glitter
flecks (big and small) to create eyecatching looks—these queens sure know
how to use the power of glitter to their
advantage. And may we add that their
eyes look nothing short of works of art.

||

GLITTER-PACKED EYES

|||

The multimillion dollar
KKW Beauty empire
was literally born
because this selfie
went #viral.

|

Sorry Kim K, you did NOT invent contouring. But
she did do a helluva job marketing it. [Hello, her
multi-million dollar brand—KKW Beauty—was
literally born because of this trend!] When Kim
shared a photo of her face marked with sharp
lines to clear up alleged rumours that she had
gotten plastic surgery, it went viral across the
globe within hours. While we hailed the reality TV
star for sharing the secret behind her chiselled
face, it wasn't long before the world found out
that it was an old technique used by queens to
create sharper features. Can we get a hallelujah?!

|||||||

THE MEGA CONTOUR

Priyanka
Chopra
Jonas

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

69

fast glam

XXL LASHES
Can you really pull off an amazingly elaborate
eye look without adding on a layer of lashes? And
we can thank drag culture for amplifying that.
While experimental souls like Lady Gaga have
truly done justice to this trend, make-up junkies
don't shy away from sporting extra-long lashes
paired with white kohl on the waterline—a trend
which made its way into mainstream beauty after
being seen on the runways in parts, season after
season. Remember Twiggy-like lashes? Then the
white kohl phenomenon? Yep, amazing.

Kylie
Jenner

Lady
Gaga

Huda
Kattan

OVER-LINING LIPS
Although, overdrawn lips were
first spotted in the 1920s,
drag artists added their own
touch to this technique by
including concealer in the
mix—it helps blur the natural
lip line to create a fuller effect.
Kylie Jenner is a big fan of this
technique, and often posts
videos of herself showing how
it is done. Given that this trend
has stuck around for decades,
we have a feeling it ain't going
nowhere for a couple more.

MAJOR BAKING
We are sure you are no strangers to this
term and have seen videos aplenty on how
to bake your face to perfection. However,
drag queens had perfected this technique
long before it took over our Instagram
feeds. The reason they douse their undereye area and the high points of their faces
in generous amounts of loose powder is to
seal in the product that could possibly melt
when they perform under bright lights. It is
no surprise that baking is now considered
one of the most-important steps in order to
achieve a flawless face.

||||||||

|
|||

||||

Rihanna

BOLD BROWS
This one is a no-brainer, really.
We have seen drag performers
flawlessly draw on perfect, full
arches. And somewhere (we
are guessing after the '90s
hangover of thin-AF caterpillars),
the backstage pros decided
it was time to bring back the
bush, albeit shaped neatly this
time...and it just stuck.

Zendaya

Patrick
Starrr

Fun
fact: the
'Instagram filter'
make-up look is
known as Baby Drag
as it draws heavily
from drag culture.

OVER-THE-TOP HIGHLIGHTER
Cheekbones that can be spotted from space? Hell, yes! Drag queens'
affinity towards extra-sparkly highlighter ties in well with glitter-loaded
lids. But the backstage pros used this technique as an isolated trend, and
before long, it was all the rage. While celebrities like Rihanna have been
known to experiment with unorthodox, iridescent shades like violet, this
look transcended products, and was rejigged with blush that extends to
the temples—a look we see very often on runways today.

Jennifer
Lopez

HIGH HAIR
Dolly Parton might have
just seen a drag queen
in action when she said:
"The higher the hair, the
closer to God". Drag dolls'
gravity-defying locks are
enviable, and very few
people have been able to
recreate this glamorous
'do—of course, JLo is part
of the elite group. If you
are planning to work this
look, we'd like to caution
you that it involves a tonne
of hair products, which can
be a nightmare to wash
off. But that's the price you
pay to look this good. Q

RuPaul
Charles

fast glam

How to Turn Regular
Make-Up Products Into

Multitaskers
The cheat sheet to get more
out of every single essential in
your beauty bag.

LIPSTICK

Nykaa So Creme!
Creamy Matte
Lipstick in Bon Appetit
Baby, `299
MASCARA

LIP BALM

If you have run out of
brow gel, or are unsure
about investing in one,
your reg mascara can
double up as a brow
product to fill in and lift
your arches. Tip: use
a waterproof formula
as it helps set
eyebrows better.

A clear balm can also
multi-task as a
highlighter—swipe it on
the high points of your
face for a dewy glow.
Bonus: a balm can also
help deflate under-eye
bags as it hydrates the
area, thereby reducing
puffiness and the
appearance of fine lines.

Benefit Cosmetics
Theyre Real! Beyond
Mascara, `2,510

BRONZER

A bronzer doesn’t just
help you fake that sexy
I-Just-Got-Back-Fromthe-Maldives glow...a
creamy, slightly
shimmery formula can
also be used on the lids
to create a brown/
copper smokey eye.

Nivea Lip Balm, `140

Wet n Wild Color Icon
Bronzer in Ticket To
Brazil, `650

72

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

BROW PENCIL

A softer formula compared
to an eyeliner, using a
brow pencil along the
contours of your lids gently
outlines your eyes. And the
blurred effect looks
effortlessly sexy.
IsaDora Waterproof Eye
Brow Pencil, `760

EYESHADOW

Can’t find the right lipstick
shade to match your lids?
Well, you can scoop out a
bit of the same shadow and
dab it on your lips for a
lived-in effect. If you want a
creamy finish, then mix the
powder with a clear balm
and use a lip brush to apply.
Or, if you have a liquid
shadow, it can replace your
long-wear lip product.
Miss Claire Single
Eyeshadow in 0146,
nykaa.com, `140

By: MEGHNA SHARMA

You have probably
read about this hack
in Cosmo, before, but
allow us to refresh
your memory: dabbing
on the same lipstick
on your cheeks lends
a seamless effect.
This nifty tweak looks
bomb in photos.

L’Oréal Paris
Voluminous
Lash Paradise
Mascara, `799

Th

i

a lesson in how
is
u
s o have all e
yes on yo
t
Lakme Eyeconic
Curling Mascara,
`375

START WITH
A MASCARA
Yes, we are in the upsidedown. And to get with the
programme, you need to start
with a curling, volumising
mascara to, well, get you in
the mood. Use two to three
coats to create va-va-volume.
Oh, did we mention, use it
only on the top lashes, and
leave the bottom ones bare.

Benefit
BADgal
Bang!
Mascara,
`2,510

BRING OUT YOUR
FAVOURITE PALETTE

BLUMARINE

We want all the colours in the
rainbow, and then s’more.
Now you don’t have to stick to
the reference, aka Blumarine’s
SS21 lewk on the left. You
can choose any shade of your
liking. Beginners might want
to stick to pastels, or if you
like to go bright, diffuse the
NYX Professional intensity. Use a fluffy shadow
Ultimate Shadow brush to blend the shadow on
Palette, `1,725 your bottom lids and make a
‘tick mark’, taking the shadow
to your temples. Sharpen the
reverse wing with the help of
a Q-tip, and voilà.

Benefit
Watt’s Up!
Cream
Highlighter,
`3,100

Role Reversal
Remember reverse cat-eye? Yeah, that trend
has taken over vivid eyeshadows, and it looks
B-O-M-B. Here’s how to nail it.

Make Up
For Ever
Artist
Color
Pencil in
Lava And
So On,
`1,400

GA M E, S E T, M ATC H

GO HEAVY ON THE
HIGHLIGHTER
Skip the foundation for once
(use a concealer to blur
imperfections) and swipe on
a creamy highlighter on the
high points of the face to add
more shine.

IT’S TIME TO MAKE IT POP

Sephora
Contour
Eye Pencil
12Hr Wear
Waterproof
in Aloha,
`890

Whatever shade you choose,
make sure you have an
eyeliner pencil in the same
hue to line the lower lid. You
can even use a liquid liner—
not on the waterline, but right
under it—to make your lower
lids pop.

By: MEGHNA SHARMA

NOW FOR THE LIPS

(L-R) Smashbox Photo Finish Weightless Setting Spray, `1,990; L’Oréal
Paris Infallible Pro-Spray & Set Makeup Extender, `800; M.A.C Fix+ Awaken
Setting Spray, `1,200; Huda Beauty Glow Coco Hydrating Mist, `2,900;
Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Setting Spray, `3,000; Too Faced
Hangover 3 in 1 Replenishing Primer & Setting Spray, `2,400

M.A.C
Matte
Lipstick in
Russian
Red,
`2,100

Don’t worry we haven’t
forgotten your pucker.
You can choose to work
with barely-there nudes to
make your eyes shine, or
match your mouth to your
Colorbar shadow and dab on some
Matte
lipstick, then blur it out
Touch
using your fingers.

Lipstick
Mini in
Fall In
Luv, `399

“W

e have all dealt with blackheads
at some point or other—and
as a long-time sufferer myself,
I know how frustrating they can
be. Most of the time, I live my life without giving
them a second thought. I mean, who really cares
about a couple of tiny clogged pores on my
nose, right? But every now and then, I’ll be in the
midst of my evening skincare routine and end up
lingering a little too long over my T-zone. That’s
when it happens—I start to consider doing the
unthinkable, and squeezing the tiny spots.
Of course, I know better. I have been told
by countless skincare experts about the perils
of picking and popping blackheads, but I can’t
deny, the temptation remains. So, in an attempt
to (literally) save my skin, I spoke to consultant
dermatologist Dr Anjali Mahto, to find out how to
declog my pores for good.”

74

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

BAC K TO BA S I CS

You can’t tackle the issue until you understand the
cause, right? So let’s break this down...
Why do we get blackheads?
“We all have pores, and when those pores become blocked with
debris, oil, or dead skin cells, that’s when you get a blackhead,” says
Dr Anjali. “The reason they look black is because all the oil in them
become oxidised. It is not the dirt that is black, it is just oxidised oil.”
Okay, but how are blackheads different from whiteheads?
“When it comes to blackheads, the pore remains open, whereas when you
get a whitehead, the pore becomes blocked over—and then you get a
little pustule.” Nice, eh?
And why are they so damn hard to get rid of?
“The underlying problem is the excess oil being produced,” says
Dr Anjali. “So whatever you do, blackheads will always
naturally reform every 20 to 40 days. This means doing
a one-off treatment won’t permanently get rid of
them—they will come back. Tackling them
needs to be an ongoing process.”

THE
BLACKHEADBUSTING
CHECKLIST

1

Buff it Out

“Exfoliation removes that upper
layer of dead skin cells,” says Dr Anjali.
“You are effectively preventing everything
from old cells to dirt and make-up getting
blocked inside the top layer of pores. There
are two ways you can do this—mechanical
exfoliation, such as a face scrub, and
chemical exfoliation, using skincare acids
to dissolve the dead skin cells.”
TRY: Forest Essentials Revitalising
Kashmiri Walnut Gel Scrub,
`1,295

2

Ace Your Acids
Not a fan of scrubs? Then it is time
to work with the acids in your arsenal,
instead. “AHAs, or alpha-hydroxy acids, are
really good for treating blackheads—they
are your glycolic acids and your lactic acids,”
explains Dr Anjali. “Then you have BHAs, or
beta-hydroxy acids, such as salicylic acid.
They cause a chemical disintegration of the
top layer of the skin cells, so they dissolve
everything that unblocks the pores.”
TRY: COSRX BHA Blackhead
Power Liquid, `1,590

3

Mask Up
“If you have acne-prone skin,
using a clay mask once a week can
be really beneficial. They are supereffective when it comes to drawing
impurities out of the skin and reducing
oil production,” says Dr Anjali. “Exfoliate
before applying the mask, as this will
allow it to really penetrate the skin.”
TRY: Mamaearth C3 Face Mask
With Charcoal, Coffee &
Clay, `599

4

Photograph: ANEEV RAO

Rely on Retinoids
“Retinoids are great if you
have blackhead-type acne, or a
predisposition to blackheads,” explains
Dr Anjali. “They are Vitamin A-based
formulas, and cause an accelerated
exfoliation, helping to de-clog stubborn
pores. You have to be patient, though, as
they take about 12 weeks to kick in.”
TRY: Dr. Sheth’s Rosehip and
Retinoid Power Emulsion,
`1,200

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

75

fast glam

Hello Brunettes, Pls Allow
Us to Introduce You to
the Magic That is

Blue Shampoo

1. FOR DULL HAIR

John Frieda BlueCrush
for Brunettes Blue
Shampoo, amazon.com,
`1,400 approx

Aka the reason you
are about to have IG-worthy colour.

If you are struggling with
brassiness and blahness,
go for this bb that is
spiked with tonecorrecting pigments and
lactic acid to lock in
moisture and shine.

1
2
4

2. FOR DAMAGED HAIR

DpHue Cool Brunette
Shampoo, amazon.com,
`1,960 approx

3

Give your over-styled,
straw-like strands some
love with this suphatefree blue shampoo that
strengthens with silk
proteins and hibiscusflower extract.

3. FOR CURLS

Bouclème Color Toning
Drops, boucleme.us,
`2,670 approx

as you wash. Using
a blue shampoo
once or twice a
week (any more than
that could give your
hair a dark-ish cast)
will refresh your
colour and amplify
its cool tones, just
like a professionallyapplied salon toner
would. Like we
mentioned, magic.
And because we
love you, heres a list
of the best blue
shampoos to try
right now.

O ka y , f u l l
t ran s p aren c y:
this (stillver y-worth-it)
s ha m poo can
be a lo w ke y
mess in the
s h o wer.
Ri n s e your
tub and tiles
immediately
af ter u si ng t o
p rev e nt any
s t ain in g and/
o r ro o m -mate
dra m a.

4. FOR NATURAL
BRUNETTES

Redken Color Extend
Brownlights Blue Toning
Sulfate-Free Shampoo,
amazon.com, `1,670
approx

The combination of blue
pigments and mild
surfactants helps
enhance your natural
colour and cleanse your
hair without drying it out.

By: SAMI ROBERTS; Photograph: COREY MAYWALT

You probs don’t
need us to tell you
that brown hair—
totally natural or
dyed—can get hella
brassy, developing a
weird orangey-red
tint after exposure to
things like UV rays
and chlorine or just
from fading over
time. Up until
recently, there hasn’t
been much—outside
of a salon—that we
could easily do about

it (all those antibrassiness purple
shampoos = for fake
blondes only). But
now, friends, we have
our own at-home
solution in blue
shampoo, the secret
sauce for making
brown hair look
freaking excellent,
like, all the time. It
uses colourcorrecting pigments
(blue is across
orange on the colour
wheel) that bond to
your strands and
cancel out brassiness

Already in a committed
relationship with your
shampoo or co-wash?
Just mix in a few blue
drops to tone your hair
without having to switch
to something new.

Look On the Bright Side
Try one of these beautifully vivid lip products to spark some joy in your life.

Shiseido
InkDuo Prime
+ Line Lip Liner
in Poppy,
`1,930 approx

Shiseido
VisionAiry Gel
Lipstick in
Sleeping
Dragon,
`2,500

Almay Color
& Care Lip
Oil-in-Stick
in Sweet
Escape,
`600
approx

Avon True
Color
Matte
Lipstick,
`499

NARS Oil
Infused Lip
Tint, price on
request

Avon True
Color Gold
Shine
Lipstick in
Golden
Plum,
`649

Le PhytoGloss in N°6
Paradise,
price on
request

Fashion Intern: ANANYA BANERJEE; Text By: HUMRA AFROZ KHAN

Dior Dior Addict Lip
Maximizer Gloss in
Coral, `3,400
Shiseido
Shimmer Gel
Lip Gloss,
price on
request

Estée Lauder
Pure Color
Desire Rouge
Excess Lipstick,
`3,600

Dior Rouge
Dior Ultra
Rouge
Lipstick in
Ultra Crave,
`3,500

Mary Kay
At Play
Lipstick,
price on
request

fast glam
(Clockwise from top) Charlotte Tilbury Invisible UV Flawless Poreless
Primer, `3,850; Caudalie S.O.S Thirst-Quenching Sérum, `1,710
approx; Essie Gel Couture Nail Polish in Polished And Poised, `840
approx; NUXE Body Rêve de Thé Revitalising Moisturising Lotion, price
on request; Bio Oil Dry Skin Gel, `700; Avène Hydrance Aqua-Gel,
price on request; Rituals The Rituals of Sakura Dry Body Oil, price on
request; Hermès Rose Hermès Silky Blush in Rose Plume, price on
request; Diptyque Eau Rose Hand Cream, price on request; Kèrastase
Fresh Affair Dry Shampoo, price on request

ACTIVE BEAUTY

Beauty
Scoop

WE BRING YOU THE LATEST
GOSSIP, TRENDS, AND TIPS
FROM THE WORLD OF BEAUTY!

By: MEGHNA SHARMA

If you love being out and about in the sun, then consider adding
these products to your beauty arsenal as they are designed to
protect your skin and hair from the harsh rays.

Kiehl's Limited
Edition Heritage
Collection
Midnight
Recovery
Concentrate,
`5,300, and Ultra
Facial Cream,
`2,550

Bianca
Louzado

170 YEARS OF
EXCELLENCE

Kiehl's is celebrating a special milestone this
year. The brand has completed 170 years
and to commemorate it, it has launched a
limited-edition Heritage Collection,
comprising three special formulas inspired by
the archives—Calendula Herbal-Extract
Toner, Ultra Facial Cream, and Midnight
Recovery Oil. This range of Kiehl’s classics
comes in a new white and gold glass
packaging, in sync with the brand's
commitment to a more sustainable future.

DIY LIP GLOSS IN A
MATTER OF MINUTES
If you'd like to match your lips to your lids or
cheeks, we have an easy hack to achieve the
look. All you need is your trusted, clear lip balm
and a favourite shade of eyeshadow or blush.
Take a pea-sized amount of balm on the back
of your hand (or a make-up pan if you're fancy
like that), scrape a little bit of the eyeshadow or
blush, mix the two well and voilà, you have a
custom, tinted lip balm. You can use your finger
or a lip brush to apply it, and store the leftover
in a clear pot for future use.

Beauty H

ack

HELLO,
GERM-FREE
TOOLS

If you wear make-up on the
daily, then the one thing you can't
skip on is sanitising your brushes and
sponges regularly. And celebrity make-up
Code
Beauty Antiartist Bianca Louzado’s brand, Code
Bacterial
Beauty, is perfect for those who are
Cosmetic
looking for an easy solution to keep
Disinfectant,
their tools bacteria-free. Specialising
`799
in cleansing balms and disinfectants,
Code Beauty’s roster includes antibacterial sprays, wipes, and
balms, and ecofriendly mascara
and lip wands
that ensure
your tools stay
as fresh as
they make
Code Beauty
you look.
‘La Vie En Rose’
Apothecary Brush &
Sponge Cleansing
Balm, `899

Jennifer
Aniston

# Tr e n d in g

BLING IT ON

This season's most-covetable
hairstyles—sleek, straight hair,
Hollywood waves, polished bobs,
and chic updos—feature a common
element: a striking headband. This
accessory has been around forever,
but its 2021 iterations feature a
fantasy element, one that seems to
blend well with all kinds of styles.
From contrasting headbands with
pantsuits at Dolce & Gabbana to
delicate, jewelled ones with lacey
dresses at Alice + Olivia, and crystaland pearl-encrusted versions at
Giambattista Valli and Dsquared2,
headbands proved be to be a
versatile, must-have accessory.

JENNIFER ANISTON'S
BRAND IS HERE

Who isn't a fan of Jennifer Aniston's iconic look
from F.R.I.E.N.D.S?! And the actor has finally added
beauty entrepreneur to her list with the launch of
her brand LolaVie. The 52-year-old's haircare range
has been in the pipeline for years, and features
plant-based, naturally-derived ingredients. LolaVie's
first product, Glossing Detangler, is a multitasking,
lightweight spray that helps detangle and prime
hair, while enhancing shine and protecting your
locks against damage.

ADVERTORIAL

GIVE
YOUR
MANE
INSTANT
GLASSLIKE
SHINE
After being vowed by the
K-beauty inspired ‘glass
skin’ trend, it’s now time
to make way for super
shiny and silky-smooth
‘glass hair’. Here’s how
you can achieve instant
glass-like sheen with the
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cosmo interview

SOBHITA

Dhulipala
a
straight
talker

What is it like being a woman in India? Honest and
uncontrived, 29-year-old Sobhita Dhulipala chats with
Cosmo Editor Nandini Bhalla about the issues that
surround gender, the importance of questioning norms,
and how we can create a more inclusive world.
Styling: Zunaili Malik; Photographs: Aman Makkar

82

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

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Corset,
Rocky
Star; pants,
Staple;
belt, United
Colors Of
Benetton;
link chain
necklaces,
both Ineze;
earrings,
Isharya;
shoes,
Fendi

cosmo interview

Corset and
pants, both
Polite Society;
hoop earrings,
Isharya

Corset,
Rocky
Star; pants,
Staple;
belt, United
Colors Of
Benetton;
link chain
necklaces,
both Ineze;
earrings,
Isharya;
sunglasses,
Bottega
Veneta

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

85

cosmo interview

Corset, Rocky S; pants,
Ura; belt, United Colors
Of Benetton; link chain
necklaces, both Ineze;
earrings, Isharya

86

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

Corset
and pants,
both Polite
Society;
pumps,
Christian
Louboutin;
hoop
earrings
and rings,
all Isharya

cosmo interview

Trench coat, United
Colors of Benetton;
earrings, Tanzire;
boots, Steve Madden

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

89

cosmo interview
Nandini Bhalla: What is it like being a
woman in India?
Sobhita Dhulipala: “It is almost like
Stockholm syndrome...which is interesting.
I feel in India, women are still living by
patriarchal rules. I have met women who
judge other women who are trying to break
out of the box. They are not able to take that
journey to fight issues, and sometimes it
becomes easier to pull down another
person. We hear stories from rooms of
ambition, where women have curtailed the
growth of another woman. And we have
heard of difficult mother-in-laws... I feel like
we need better ‘relationship education’ in
the country, because I don’t think the rules
we have followed are applicable anymore.”
NB: How can women be better allies to
other women?
SD: “Women don’t always support other
women. This is something I have witnessed
often and wish to change.
I am making an effort to be a better
sister, especially since the past year, because
change begins at home. It is when I
discovered my mother outside of my
relationship with her as a daughter and
tried understanding her as a human being is
when I was able to foster a healthier
relationship with her. I stopped burdening
her with my expectations of how she should
be or demanding that she accept every fault
of mine with love and care. In the process,
we were able to become teammates and
grow as human beings. Without growth, we
wouldn’t be where we are, and anyone who
says that’s not correct, is anti-life.”
NB: What led to this shift in your
approach?
SD: “The time I spent alone during the
past year allowed me to explore my
relationships better, which I had not paid
much attention to previously. But suddenly,
my focus fell upon my inner circle and I felt
immense love for them—I was like a heavy
cloud just bursting to rain. I think
questioning my relationships helped me see
the true value of constructive criticism and
love. I want to extend these learnings and
build a happy community around me. At
the end of the day, everyone must feel
included, including queer and other
marginalised communities.”

90

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

NB: How have your dating
experiences been as an Indian
woman ?
SD: “It is still not easily accepted... It
might be okay in some families, but in
most parts of the country, it is not. I am
lucky that I have the kind of relationship
with my parents and family where I can
discuss my love life, and through those
discussions, figure out if the person is
right for me. But for most Indian
women, dating is, at best, seen as a
prelude to marriage.”
NB: What about Indian women and
sex?
SD: “I feel like the rural gentry is having a
blast! It is the middle-class section of our
society that is tied to conditioning, like
they are being shepherded. For Indian
women, because sex is a taboo and
forbidden, there is a lot of suppressed
energy... Someone once said, ‘Your fears
become your fantasies’, and I thought that
is so interesting. I feel like because of all
this oppression, India is a fertile land for
erotic fantasies.”
NB: Do you think Indian women are
allowed to have desires?
SD: “Of course Indian women have
desires, probably many because there’s no
room to express them or have a
conversation about them. Even a female
friend will judge you because maybe you
have the space to act on your desires, but
they don’t. We are like inmates in a jail,
where if one person gets a chance to leave,
others will say, ‘I want to be happy for you
but I want out, too’. So I think in this
process, everyone’s united in suffering.”
NB: What is it being like an Indian
woman with regards to safety?
SD: “I don’t step out after a certain time
because I don’t feel safe. When I was
younger, I was brash and reckless, and
thought that nothing could go wrong. But
now I know better. I wonder if being older
is the reason for this change, but the truth
is that the more you see, the better you
understand the reality of the situation. I
freak out when my friends are out at night
getting a drink, and I get concerned
because I don’t take anything for granted.
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

I cannot afford to in India, but where in the
world is a woman truly safe?”
NB: Safety is also a gender issue, isn’t
it? I think women are the ones who
tend to feel most unsafe and they are
the ones who are told to not go out or
dress in a certain manner...
SD: “Certainly. As a woman you are told
things like, 'Take your younger brother
along,' who is probably just 11 and cannot
even protect you, or to dress conservatively.
I am glad I live in a certain city, but I
cannot enjoy living in it to the fullest. Safety
is not just physical, it is also emotional...
there is always judgement involved.”

"We hear stories
from rooms
of ambition,
where women
have curtailed
the growth
of another
woman.”
NB: Talking about judgement Sobhita,
in terms of gender, sexuality, what we
wear, or eat...do you think society
needs to judge less?
SD: “I don’t think a judgemental person is
even aware that they are being
judgemental. They think they are the
custodians of the ‘right’ values and
opinions, which is why I think you should
just do whatever you want to, follow your
heart, be happy and at peace with your
decision. Being unapologetically happy
with your decision will make the
judgmental person look at themselves and
understand that they are just being
negative. Some people judged me for
entering the entertainment industry. They
were thinking, ‘What is she doing?’; ‘She is
a good student, what a waste!’. But more
than anything, I took the responsibility for

my choices. Even in difficult moments,
I would take complete accountability and
in my courage, they found respect. Then
they thought, ‘I don’t understand it, but
she is happy and I guess it is okay.’”
NB: Talking about choices, what are
your views on women and their
careers, specifically in the Indian
context?
SD: “I think every single human being,
irrespective of their gender, should be
able to provide for themselves
financially—whether they choose to do
so or not is entirely up to them. But they
must be able to acquire the acumen to do
so, in terms of education and social
knowledge, because only then can we ask
for equality. If one knows so little about
how the world works, it becomes almost
impossible to demand to be treated with
respect within a patriarchal household.
You are seen as a weakling in your circle
because you are not the breadwinner.”
NB: What about women and their
bodies?
SD: “This is a tricky subject because just
today, I was looking at pictures from my
childhood and I clearly remember feeling
back then, ‘Oh my God, I am so not cool
or pretty...so let me be the smart kid
instead'. Now that I look back, I know I
wasn't ugly, I was alright. But my
understanding of myself was defined by
the fact that maybe all the boys in the
class liked light-skinned girls. So, I always
felt like I needed to have an edge over
other women in some other department
beyond looks. But this thinking regarding
our appearance is also so capitalism
driven. There is always somebody trying
to sell a product by telling you that you
are not good enough. We can't hate
capitalism as it runs our lives—I don’t
even know if we should fight it. This
reminds me of a line from a short film I
had written: ‘Prosperity does not mean
the elimination of evil but the awareness
of it.’ By prosperity, I don't just mean
materialistic wealth, but also enriching
our minds. Fooling ourselves into
consuming products blindly, thinking that
they are good for us is akin to dishonesty
and cowardice.”

NB: Do you think that women are
the true owners of their own bodies?
SD: “Of course, they are. Women are
extremely powerful and making them
dependent on others is society's way to
establish control over them.”
NB: Why do you think it is important
to question norms?
SD: “Human beings are inquisitive, and
questioning comes naturally to us. There
can be no progress without questions...or
room for improvement and growth.
There is a need to maintain status quo in
societal or power structures, and they
avoid being questioned as they feel
threatened. But we would certainly fail
as a society or nation if we allow our
fellow beings to live with grief and
shame. We must work together to
resolve their pain.”
NB: How can we build a more
inclusive world?
SD: “I think our education system must
include subjects that allow us to question
reality as we know it. Young people have
such impressionable minds, they should
have at least one subject where they
study about real-life issues, compassion,
and inclusivity. If I was a teacher, I would
hold a compulsory art class or behaviour
studies.”
NB: What does gender mean to you?
SD: “My definition of gender was fairly
conventional. It’s almost like there was no
questioning...nobody ever asked, ‘What
do you think of gender?’. It was simply,
‘Female’, and the conversation never
expanded beyond that. It never occurred
to me that gender is something that can
be fluid and can be questioned. It’s only
recently, when I saw and met people
from the queer community, or through
conversations on social media, that I
realised: ‘Oh wait, there are people who
aren’t cookie-cutter!’. I started reading
up and understanding more. And that
also made me think about their
difficulties and the disparities. It is a bit
like going to a place where I am not with
the majority, and feeling terribly
underrepresented and also
misunderstood. I would probably be
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

filled with angst, maybe even bitterness.
Social media and the people around me
have triggered my curiosity, and made me
question beliefs. My understanding of
gender is still at a nascent stage, but I am
learning and educating myself.
I am a firm believer in ‘pro-choice’,
whatever that choice may be. It is nature’s
language really, and I don’t think everyone’s
meant to be defined. So I think that gender
being fluid is actually the most normal thing
and that we are on the cusp of a revolution
of sorts. Even in terms of orientation and
identity, we are being exposed to more
information, and suddenly, certain images
are becoming ‘normal’, because they’re not
so shocking anymore. In the first season of
Made In Heaven, gay sex was openly
portrayed. And one might have thought
that this won’t fly, or that people would be
thrown off, but the show was accepted and
appreciated. This meant that people were
not shocked anymore...and maybe that’s
just the beginning.”
NB: How do you identify, both in terms
of gender as well as sexuality?
SD: “For a very long time, I didn’t feel
particularly female or male. No thoughts,
I just was...full stop. I think it is only when
I am conversing with a man who I am
interested in or attracted to, do I realise
I am female. Otherwise, when I am talking
to you, I am a person. I feel genderless at
times. And when I sleep, I sleep as a human
being, as a living being...”
NB: And why do you think we need to
have more conversations around
gender and sexuality?
SD: “At the end of the day we are all
humans...and in some ways, we are all
conditioned to think of things in a certain
way. In order to break the box,
conversations will always be a trigger. And
the shock of having that conversation might
turn into confusion and the confusion
needs to become acceptance. It is only then
Q
that we can co-exist peacefully.”
Hair and Make-Up: Kiran Denzongpa
at Feat. Artists; Location Courtesy:
Andaz Hotel, Delhi; Fashion
Assistants: Humaira Lakdawala and
Jaishree Chhabra

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

91

cosmo interview

Unlearning
at Every
Step:

Sonal
Giani

(She/Her)

LGBTQIA+ activist
and filmmaker
Sonal Giani
speaks about
discarding
prejudice to rise
above
homophobia, the
importance of
finding a
supportive
community, and
self-empowerment.

Trench
coat,
Kshitij
Jalori

Hair and Make-up: YIN AIEN

Interview by: Simar
Malhotra; Styling:
Zunaili Malik;
Photographs:
Adil Hasan

“I

identify as a cisour bodies and its desires. The
woman, who is
leadership—whether it be in
bisexual and
government or private organisations,
polyamorous.
lawmakers or religious heads,
When I was 13
support structures for others like me.
especially people who hold powerful
years old, I
I co-founded two LGBTQIA+
positions in public office—needs to
realised that I am attracted to people
initiatives—Yaariyan (youth
be vocal about their support to the
of my own and other genders. When
initiative) and Umang (support group
community and its rights. This vocal
I spoke to my twin sister about it, she
for LGBTQIA+ people). These
support should be reinforced by
asked me if I was a lesbian, and since
provide a safe space for communities
action. And through this, I hope that
I didn’t relate to that identity and was
to network and build their capacities,
people understand that sex, gender,
not ready to handle the prejudice
offer health support as well as legal
and sexuality are all spectrums that
associated with being queer, I denied
aid. As an Advocacy Manager at The
are diverse, and so are identities. By
it. At the time I had no language to
Humsafar Trust previously, I have
denying this reality and diversity, we
express what I was feeling because
also worked with managing crisis
are taking away from the richness of
there were no conversations
situations faced by LGBTQIA+
humankind.
regarding gender or sexuality. But
community members across the
Empowering myself with
I did see the intrinsic homophobia
country. Even in my creative work as
knowledge about my rights has
and transphobia that existed in the
a filmmaker, I have made films that
helped me rise above the prejudice
form of bullying kids who were
are queer-centric and capture issues
I experienced. Besides this, I have a
different. This made it even more
central to the Indian queer
very strong community network
difficult for me to accept my reality.
community, sensitising stakeholders
around me that has been the
I came out to myself after being
across different fields to amplify
backbone for all my groundwork. It
outed without my consent. Up until
unheard voices.
has given me a lot of professional
then I was in denial of my own
After I came out publicly in
confidence as well. That is what
sexuality. A classmate from college
mainstream media as a bisexual
I would recommend anyone else
anonymously put up a post with my
woman, I recognised that I could
struggling with mental-health issues
photograph on a
or coming out as well—
public platform,
connect with the
“Empowering
myself
with
knowledge
asking people to vote
community and support
about
my
rights
has
helped
me
rise
if they thought I was
spaces, and get in touch
a lesbian. This
with queer affirmative
above the prejudice I experienced.”
experience was
counsellors. It is
extremely
important to be
challenging, as I faced the brunt of
affect change; that it is very
surrounded by people who are
homophobia from isolation, sexual
important that queer people occupy
positive and life-affirming.
overtures, and discrimination even
public spaces, and challenge
For those outside the community
before I could come to terms with
overriding stereotypes and
wanting to contribute to our journey
being queer. This led to an early
assumptions. Even today, there is
and become true allies, I would say
onset of depression, which went
denial by many family members that
start by simply acknowledge your
undiagnosed for many years and
LGBTQIA+ identities exist. This
privilege. Then go on to learn about
affected my job performance and
denial translates into familial violence
the community, use correct
overall confidence. Finding a
and a general feeling of unsafety.
pronouns, provide platforms to
community, affirmative mental
Added to this is the taboo around sex
amplify the voices of queer people,
health counsellors, and role models
that forces us to feel embarrassed
call out homophobia and transphobia
helped me overcome difficulties.
about our real-life experiences.
when you see it happen in your
But every cloud has a silver lining.
LGBTQIA+ individuals, both young
circles, push for non-discrimination
Experiencing discrimination pushed
and old, develop an inferiority
policies at your workplace, and
me into accessing community spaces
complex due to their feelings and
advocate for the legal rights of the
as support structures. The support
actions, which are completely
LGBTQIA+ community or donate
Q
I received drove me to creating
natural. Conversations around
towards the cause.”
gender, sexuality, and love need to be
normalised and not reserved only for
sensitisation programmes. We need
to remove shame by talking about
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AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

93

“I

define myself as the
winning sperm and I am
proud of not just who
I am, but what I am—a
wonderful, strong human
with so much love to give.
As a child, I was fearless, in complete control
of how I saw myself, and knew undoubtedly
who I was. I just lacked the vocabulary to
articulate it. But with puberty and the
imposed gendered rules of society came
about a dysphoria—what I felt and what I was
expected to feel were different. For almost a
decade after that, I couldn’t recognise the
figure I saw in the mirror.
I have been coming out to myself gradually
since I was a child, but it was only after
studying abroad that I got some perspective
on gender fluidity. Studying art in the US
propelled me to gauge how I thought,
functioned, and what my gut told me.
I allowed myself the space to explore and

Fluid
Duality:

Durga
Gawde
(Them/They)

Artist, activist, and India’s first
performing drag king, Durga
Gawde talks about being
inspired from their younger
self, exploring fluidity, and
the need for self-acceptance.
Interview by: Simar Malhotra;
Styling: Zunaili Malik;
Photographs: Adil Hasan

94

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

understand what it meant to be an artist.
I searched within myself, to find my unique
voice and in turn create something that only
I could create. With this independence and
exposure, I started to question almost
everything about my existence.
Despite that, this time was a special period
in my life because I was treated and valued
only on the basis of my talent, and not my
gender. In some ways, that set the precedent
for the rest of my life. As a sculptor, initially
my art came from an understanding of the
scientific exterior—genetics and biology. But
after I came out, my work increasingly
became more about my psyche, fused with
science, to express how I saw myself and how
I wished to be seen in the world in a more
wholesome manner. The more I started
owning myself, the more I became the art,
with my body being the canvas.
My work today fundamentally stems from a
need to tell my story. From sculpture to drag,
my activism and art have been about being
seen and taking up spaces in the world that
have excluded trans and queer people. Since
I was 11 years old, I have been writing love
letters to myself, so that I could be my own
best friend and support myself through my
struggles. I take a lot of inspiration from my
younger self for their ferocity. Through my
work and my visibility, I am trying hard to be
the person that they wanted me to grow up
into and to be the person that they needed to
see around more but didn’t. True inclusivity
starts with acceptance of the self, but selfacceptance becomes much harder when
there isn’t societal acceptance. In India, the
trans community is treated like untouchables.
We are the most marginalised, with no access
to medical facilities, which are seen as
cosmetic instead of real requirements for our
bodies to be healthy.
There exists no dialogue of non-binary
identities in the world and how they exist in
the legal framework of society. Our
representation is minimal, if not non-existent
in most industries. Our celebration and

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

Hair and make-up: YIN AIEN

cosmo interview

“ True inclusivity starts with
acceptance of the self but selfacceptance becomes much harder
when there isn’t societal acceptance.”

Dress, Rahul Mishra

visibility are essential for societal acceptance.
Only when we feel safe, legally and socially, can
we even dare to claim space. Often, one hears
that people don’t comprehend gender fluidity—
how one can feel like a man and a woman, both
or none. But this is not about understanding. It
is about respecting, for which understanding is
no prerequisite. One of the easiest things
people wanting to be allies can do is simply
listen. The world is so thoroughly connected,
thanks to the Internet. All one has to do is
decide to educate themselves. Now when I look
into the mirror, I see how far I have come—
from not recognising myself to being a
trailblazer as the first performing drag king of
India—an out, proud, and change-making
member of the community. It gives me hope
that the future can’t be too grim. I cannot wait
to be 70-years-old and still kick *ss!
To those who are still in the closet, trying to
figure out and fully give form to themselves, it is
important to know that coming out is not the
most important thing. It will change your life
completely and sometimes in ways that are not
too pleasant. So, take your time. But while you
are at it, work on yourself, become financially
independent so that no one gets to have a hold
on you. Love and accept yourself, and know that
you deserve to be here in your fullest glory.” Q
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

95

cosmo interview
Writer, Curator, and
Initiator of the Dalit
Art Archive and Dalit
Queer Project, Aroh
Akunth opens up
about growing up in
a feminist space, why
the current
mechanisms do not
accommodate the
Dalit community, and
the need for a sturdy
queer movement.
Interview by: Simar
Malhotra; Styling:
Zunaili Malik;
Photographs: Adil Hasan

Aroh
Akunth

(They/Them)
96

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

Dress, Rahul
Mishra

HAIR AND MAKE-UP: YIN AIEN

Overcoming
Barriers:

“I

describe myself
as a hopeless
romantic,
because one
must be crazy
to love the
world we live in, to imagine, work,
and hope for a better tomorrow.
I identify as a Dalit-queer person
politically, since I am neither
interested in claiming any particular
gender nor a caste position to
emancipate myself. Gender and caste
have no space in any civil or
progressive society and my
identification is directly in opposition
to these systems. I was lucky enough
to be born in a family where
‘feminism’ was not a bad word, and
those around me even subscribed to
its politics. Growing up with a single
mother, I never felt that our family
was odd or missing something.
As an infant, my mother’s
comrades used to take turns to look
after me during protest. My mother
would show me photos of the pride
celebrations in newspapers, telling
me about her lesbian friends from
college. We used to dress up
together...there was no policing of
naked bodies or physical intimacy in
our family—that is how my mother
was raised by her parents too. Amma
(my maternal grandmother) would
always encourage my interests of
dressing in drag. I would wear her
and my mother’s saris as armours at
protests, to work, or just when I felt
like dressing up. For me, it was not
only a way to feel closer to them, but
also to embody the feminine as they
do. Growing up, I was called a chakka
[eunuch] by everyone in school, even
before I knew what the word queer
meant. After finishing school, I
started feeling like an impostor in
relationships with my female
partners, which I thought was
connected to my sexuality—but I am
pansexual and have loved people of
all genders for as long as I can
remember. However, it was the

dysphoria of being thought of as a
man, which led to a couple of
relationships not working out.
It was around the same time that I,
as a trans person myself, had to face
the prevalent transphobia and ask
myself as to why it stung every time
someone called me chakka. Was it
not similar to being called chamar
(Dalit, my caste) or chandaal (an
abusive term for children born to
inter-caste marriages). This
experience of my caste identity
helped me deal with my queer one.
After my mother’s death, I moved in
with her parents. I do not have a
linear timeline of when I realised
I was different from what I was
expected to be, but by the time I was

“My mother would
show me photos of
pride celebrations in
newspapers, telling
me about her lesbian
friends from college.”
done with my schooling, I sat my
grandparents down to tell them.
They ruined my moment of coming
out and rained on my parade by
telling me that they, too, have had
moments where they felt they were
queer or non-conforming, and later
just asked me to go back to sleep.
My journey is similar to those who
are a part of the Dalit community.
We continue to work in places which
do not respect us or trans folks, or
treat us the same way as cisheterosexual, upper caste individuals.
These spaces continue to be fraught
with caste and gendered violence,
and we are asked to rely on legal
mechanisms set up for us—
mechanisms that don’t have any
representation of us and only serve
the purpose of oppressing us. I do

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not think we have a very robust or
dedicated queer movement in India
to combat this. There are more queer
party organisers than there are safe
homes. This is a central characteristic
of a casteist society—only those with
language, privacy, and resources
flourish, and I refuse to be a part of
such a system. I find that our society
is a part of a fear-mongering regime.
It tells us who we can sleep with and
who we are through its own notions
of sexuality and gender. It rejects
love, intimacy, and desire, because it
is in love that we grow. Imagine the
nightmare it would be for any ruling
bureaucracy to have people from
different castes have sex, build
families, and fall in love with each
other. Not being able to determine
and predict what their voter’s gender
socialisation and interests are would
mess with their voting patterns.
Then how will they practice politics
over religion, caste, or sexuality?
Through the Dalit Queer Project
and the Dalit Art Archive, I started
interventions with Dalit friends who
are committed to feminist ideals. I
believe we have been able to make
small changes in our multi-fold
marginalised community. Previously,
there were no spaces for Dalit queer
people to reach out to, there was no
collective political voice, and we were
not even thought of as artists. I find
joy in being a community organiser—
where I can rest, make mistakes,
make love, fight, learn, and share
skills. I grew up without it. I wish noone else has to do the same. We
cannot rise above prejudice in a
country where casteist divides exist,
where people are killed for having a
beard, dressing up, sitting on a horse,
or eating beef. Those who wish to see
a change need to start by putting
their money where their mouth is
and bring marginalised communities
into the mainstream instead of
discussing them in closed rooms
Q
and networks.”
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

97

cosmo interview

“G

Gazal
Dhaliwal

ender is such
a ubiquitous,
pervasive
concept that
there isn’t any
one particular point when you learn
it. It is ingrained in the language you
speak, prescribed even to objects and
things. It was the unlearning of
gender that shook me—my tryst with
fate of being a trans child. I was fiveyears-old, playing with my mother’s
dupatta when an aunty came and
slapped me hard across the face. That
is when I realised that how I saw
myself was not how others saw me,
that gender was not fluid, and that
there were clear demarcations
between behaviours condoned for
boys and girls.
As a straight, heterosexual
transwoman, sexuality was
complicated for me because of my
gender identity. My biological sex
didn’t conform to my psychological
gender. Like any other girl, I was
attracted to boys, but anatomically
I wasn’t one. At 14, I came out to my
parents and though they didn’t quite
fully understand how a boy could feel
like a girl, they said that it didn’t take
away from the fact that I was
troubled and in pain.
A few years later when cyber cafes
opened up, the first thing
I instinctively searched on the Internet
was ‘sex change’, without even
knowing if that was possible. Finding
blogs of transwomen in the US who
had transitioned through surgery lifted
an inexplicable weight off of me.
I knew then that I wasn’t alone in the
world, feeling what I was feeling.

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

(She/Her)

Interview by: Simar
Malhotra; Styling: Zunaili
Malik; Photographs:
Adil Hasan

In 2007, I began my gender
reassignment journey at the age of
25. The whole biological, emotional,
and psychological challenge of
physically transitioning was
tremendous. During the three years
of transition, your body is
androgenous. You are a joke to the
world. People stare, laugh, and jeer
at you. But making peace with
yourself, seeking acceptance from
within first instead from others, give
you the courage to persevere. Even
today, after 15 years of transitioning,
I know that when I walk into a room,
my body is examined. At my
workplace, I am seen as a
transwoman who is a writer instead
of being a writer who happens to be
transgender.
This obsession with my gender
identity even in my professional life
has bothered me, but today I believe
that if this is what it takes to be
visible, then so be it and I don’t have
any qualms about it. I have tried to
stay ‘invisible’ all my life in the fear of
being judged, teased, or bullied for
not fitting into society’s version of
normal. But not anymore.
Growing up, I was a fan of
Bollywood’s grandiosity. Amidst the
song and dance moves, I could press
pause and not think about my life for
a while. These films made my life
easier and it is these films and
industry I wished to be a part of—

telling stories of underprivileged
minorities in entertaining formats
that give them the visibility that
I was denied.
Frankly, the film industry still has a
long way to go before being
considered ‘inclusive’, but it is
changing gradually. There are many
creative minds who want to tell
influential, change-making stories
about people that are not from the
mainstream. And it will only be with
more art, literature, and media
around the LGBTQIA+ community
that societal realisation will follow,
steering more people to be brave and
come out.
I find that a huge part of queer
oppression stems from the sexnegativity we harbour as a country.
Without conversations around
heterosexual sex and sexuality, and no
understanding of the beauty that lies
in them, they become tools of torture
and violence...especially against
women and LGBTQIA+ folks.
So, as an ally, one needs to stand up
for their queer friends, have open
and honest discussions with those
that have antagonistic opinions, and
keep educating themselves with the
help of myriad resources available
online and offline. Allyship is hard
work, and to be a true ally, one must
be dedicated to the cause genuinely
Q
and follow through.”

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

Hair and make-up: YIN AIEN

Propelling
Change:

Screenwriter Gazal
Dhaliwal opens up
about making peace
with her identity, why
sexuality was a
complicated concept
for her, and the
importance of allyship.

“Even today,
after 15 years of
transitioning,
I know that
when I walk into
a room, my body
is examined.”

Trench coat; Ura;
earrings, Outhouse
Jewellery

cosmo interview

Vasu
Primlani
(She/Her)

Vasu is
wearing:
blazer,
Staple

Interview by: Simar
Malhotra; Styling:
Zunaili Malik;
Photographs: Aman
Makkar

Hair and make-up: SONAM KAPOOR

Universal
Acceptance:

Comedian, somatic
therapist, and
environmentalist Vasu
Primlani shares why it
is imperative to
respect oneself to
accept others, how
empathy is the way to
healing, and what it
means to be truly
inclusive.

“M

y childhood was a little
confusing for me—I
found that I had an
attraction for girls, so
I thought that maybe
and I am often asked, being a survivor of child sexual
I was a boy. On top of
abuse, where I find the empathy for the perpetrators
that, in reaction to living in India where women are often
I interact with. And I always say that these offenders are in
sexually harassed, it led me to reject my femininity
fact the first victims. In the documentary India’s Daughter,
the youngest and the most brutal rapist claimed, ‘Why are
altogether. I thought, ‘If this is what it means to be a
you catching us when everyone does it?’. In the worlds and
woman, then I don’t want to be one’.
systems that they come from, this sexual violence is the
Nevertheless, I know that I am attracted to women, and
norm. It is what they know—so it is up to us, as therapists,
that biologically and emotionally I am a woman. But for so
to work with these demons that have grown inside them,
many people, gender can be a fluid concept. Globally,
and to shrink them and render them harmless. That is the
0.3% of the people don’t feel that their biological and
only way healing can occur.
emotional beings match. This is why we must ask how we
Many corporates make LGBTQIA+ diversity training
ought to address someone, because they might look like a
voluntary and I keep insisting that that’s a waste of my skills
woman, but really feel like a man inside. By calling them
in a way, since those who attend these are allies already. We
by the pronoun they choose, we honour their feelings.
need to reach out and listen to those who have been
Similarly, just how gender isn’t a stand-alone concept,
conditioned and taught to hate, and help change their
sexuality, too, has a spectrum and depends on what level of
thinking and narratives.
intimacy one allows from the same or the opposite gender.
A few years ago, I was at a training at one of the IIT
Growing up, one of my female friends and I would always
branches, and a young boy stood up and
sleep in each other’s arms, kiss all night
said, ‘If I respect all women, then who
long, write letters to each other, and just
will I marry?’. This notion that sex and
like that, we became girlfriends.
“In calling
equality cannot go together, especially in
At the time, there was no discussion of
them
by
the
the context of marriage, is terribly
gender or sexuality in society. And because
problematic—everything from
no-one spoke about it out loud, no-one told
pronouns they
reproductive rights, consent, to rape and
me that it was wrong. I did think that I was
choose,
we
violence stem from it. It is imperative for
the only person in the world who thought
honour and
us to develop a culture of open
and felt that way, but there was never any
communication, not just for better
sense of judgement or shame prescribed.
respect
their
relationships to foster but also for issues
Luckily, I have had a very strong parental
feelings.”
regarding safety. We are so enamoured
support structure. My parents have always
by sex in our society, but in all fairness, it
respected and honoured my girlfriends.
is just another activity in one’s life,
They treated them in the same way that the
another way of showcasing our affection for our partners.
son-in-law of our house was treated—with love, kindness,
With sex education removed from the Indian curriculum,
and the strict commitment of a phone call at least once
parents should play the role of educators—but only by
every week. I know that this support is not commonplace
accepting their own sexuality and discussing their
in a country like India, where prejudice is rife. And as a
relationship can they be comfortable doing the same with
therapist, I can tell you that those with homophobia, with
their children.
hostile thoughts, are people who have not experienced
In my years of practising inclusion and diversity training,
love, who like to foist their resentment onto others.
I have come to realise, all innovation has roots in diversity.
There is a saying—‘I am not who you think I am. You are
It was always that ‘one’ person who came along and
who you think I am.’ My comedy fits snugly into this
thought we needed to do things differently. Inclusion is
slightly broken societal scenario. Its aim has always been to
listening to that different opinion.
build bridges, to rectify societal issues related to gender,
To those who hope to be allies of the LGBTQIA+
sexuality, rape, and sustainability, offer a safe space for
community and accept human diversity, I want to say that
authentic conversations to usher in change in mindsets.
you cannot respect someone else if you don’t respect
Even beyond my comedy, my work as a somatic therapist
yourself. If you don’t give yourself the permission to do
revolves around rehabilitation of murderers and rapists,
things differently, you won’t have any respect to give
another. Learn to love and honour yourself. If you haven’t
done that yet, no amount of education will enable you to
Q
honour or respect the differences in others.”
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AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

101

cosmo interview

Anchored
in Love:

Porus
Vimadalal
(He/Him)

Prayag
Menon
(He/Him)

The couple shares why it is
important to start
conversations around gender
and sexuality early on in life,
why they choose to be
authentic over being
comfortable, and their hopes
for the LGBTQIA+ community.
Interview by: Simar Malhotra;
Styling: Prayag Menon;
Photographs: Porus Vimadalal

On Porus: T-shirt
and over-shirt, both
Sandro; trousers,
Paul Smith

On Prayag: T-shirt,
Cos; jacket, The
Kooples; trousers, Paul
Smith; watch, Cartier;
over-shirt, Sandro

W

hile growing up in the ’80s and
’90s, both Porus Vimadalal and
Prayag Menon did not have the
resources and access to
information the way they do
now. In spite of not having the
identities play such an important role in society. Porus
vocabulary to describe themselves, deep down, they
further adds, “It’s important that your identity is reflected
always knew that they were both attracted to men. While
in the work that you do, in ways that are organic and
Porus and Prayag were seeing each other, they never
effortless. As a photographer, I always want to depict a
explained their relationship with the narrative, ‘Oh, I am
story and present the amalgamation of different aspects of
gay and I am with a guy,’...but that they were simply
any subject. I have never projected my work through the
together. For they never approached their identities and
lens of my identity, but the latter influences my
the relationship with any boxed or compartmentalised
interactions with people, who end up being a source of
terminologies.
inspiration for my work.”
Back in the day, even homosexuality came with its own
The couple’s aim has always been to present themselves
set of stereotypes. Prayag shares, “I used to get bullied in
in the most authenic manner—in both their professional
school for not conforming to the image of a typical boy.
and personal lives, encompassing all their creative
I didn’t have any kind of support system to share this
undertakings. “The content that we create on social
reality with. Even when I told my parents that I was
media, of just two guys being together, not only lets us be
seeing Porus, they didn’t take it well. My mother still
more open about our relationship, but also helps start the
hasn’t come to terms with it.”
conversation around these sensitive topics in a fun way,”
Despite the non-acceptance of their loved ones, they
says Porus.
have been public about their relationship at every step of
Growing up, both of them did not have any role models
the way, sans any hesitation. They never felt the need to
to look up to. They were alone, navigating unchartered
accommodate other
territories. After being together
people’s discomfort and
for a decade and then getting
prejudice because people’s
married, both Porus and Prayag
“Reaching this point of
conditioning was never
have been each other’s strongest
fearlessness
has
always
been
their cross to bear.
anchors. By sharing glimpses of
a
constant
effort
to
choose
According to them both, it
their lives with others, both in
is high time the
professional or personal
authenticity over comfort.”
LGBTQIA+ community
capacities, they hope they can
received equal respect and
provide some sense of solace
status in society. Porus and Prayag feel that the first step
and grounding to their fellow LGBTQIA+ members,
should always be to learn and accept others, irrespective
something they never had before they found each other.
of their realities...and even when that does not happen,
“Struggles back then and now might differ slightly, but
they shouldn’t have to compromise with the way they
the nature of prejudice remains the same. Archaic
choose to present themselves and their relationship.
conditioning continues to dominate and restrain the
Porus unequivocally states, “Reaching this point of
Indian society at large, whether it is homophobia,
fearlessness has always been a constant effort to choose
transphobia, or even the taboo when it comes to talking
authenticity over comfort. Not everyone has the freedom
about something as natural and simple as sex. People need
and openness to tread this path. One of the ways in which
to understand that sex as an activity or who anybody
the majority can be sensitised to normalising
chooses to have sex with is never about morality or
conversations around the LGBTQIA+ folks is by starting
character. A lot needs to be done in order to undo these
conversations about gender, identity, and sexuality, earlier
patterns of conditioning and build a more inclusive
on in schools.”
society. We are not manufactures on a factory’s assembly
They emphasise that no-one should be thrust into the
line. As humans, our identities and lives are not suppose
world with no knowledge or understanding of the
to be cookie-cutter rigid and set, where we are all forced
diversity of humankind, especially when LGBTQIA+
to comply to a single standard. People live different
realities and sometimes understanding these differences
and respecting them does not come so easily. But that
cannot take away from validating another person’s truth,”
Q
concludes Prayag.
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103

cosmo interview

the

three
musketeers
IN A COSMO EXCLUSIVE, COMEDIANS SUMUKHI SURESH,
UROOJ ASHFAQ, AND ROHAN JOSHI DISCUSS THEIR
RESPECTIVE JOURNEYS, SEXISM IN THE BUSINESS, COMIC
TIMING, AND WHAT WAS IT LIKE STARRING IN NETFLIX’S
COMEDY PREMIUM LEAGUE.
Styling: Zunaili Malik; Photographs: Aman Makkar

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

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On Rohan Joshi:
Polo T-shirt, `16,950, and
trousers, `21,590, both
Shivan & Narresh; jacket,
`2,999, H&M
On Urooj Ashfaq:
Jacket, `6,590, Clarache;
necklace, `550, Kiki
Kloset; pearly neckchain,
`8,500, Misho
On Sumukhi: Dress,
`11,818, Nor Black Nor
White; hair clip, `450,
Studio Cha-Ching

cosmo interview

On Sumukhi:
Shirt, `17,500, Dhruv
Kapoor; rings, `899
(each) and heart
necklace, `799, both
Fanauraa; necklace,
`1,350, Label Graph

“I want to
change the
fact that I don’t
get a lead role
unless I write it.”

S

umukhi Suresh is unfazed
by trolls who body shame
her daily. The 33-year-old
comedian, who has
proved her mettle over
the years, has a more
pressing goal in mind...to erase years of
conditioning that plus-size women can
only play second fiddle in a show or
movie. In this interview, Sumukhi
speaks with Cosmo Associate Editor
Meghna Sharma about starring in
Netflix Comedy Premium League,
women who inspire her, and her
biggest learnings.

Cosmo: What was it like being a
part of Netflix’s Comedy Premium
League (CPL)?
Sumukhi Suresh: “Well, this is my
first proper Netflix show and I was
very excited about it. My team, which
has Tanmay [Bhat], Rohan [Joshi] and
Sumaira [Shaikh] was great, because
we are all a bunch of workaholics.
I think, on screen, we were slightly
nervous...but we all look very sweet.

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

You could tell that we all worked well
together, and I think it was the best
way to make a comeback.”

C: What was the highlight of the
show, according to you?
SS: “I would have to say the team. All
of us are friends but, I think only
Netflix could have gotten all four of us
together. On a bigger level, just how
16 of us [comedians] came together to
create a show was amazing.”
C: Tell us about your journey in
the world of comedy.
SS: “Eight years ago, if you would have
told me that I will be interviewed for
Cosmo, I would have laughed at your
face. I was working for a food lab and
I wasn’t unhappy or anything...but
comedy just happened. I was looking
for something to do in my free time—I
do not like sitting idle. I thought of
joining a theatre group, but somehow
ended up in an improv group instead.
That helped me meet other comedians

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

107

cosmo interview
like Kenny [Sebastian] and Danish
[Sait]. I did a sketch and few videos,
and as I started getting work,
I am funny, then please don’t watch
I decided to quit my job and move to
my shows... It tends to happen a lot
Mumbai to pursue comedy full-time.
during corporate shows where
I came to Mumbai with only
people don’t mind calling me
`50,000—which I had earned from
unfunny to my face. But I am okay
my stand-up gigs—and I was like,
with it.”
‘This will help me survive in Mumbai
C: Sumukhi, you have spoken
for six months while I look for work’.
about being insecure about your
I think I spent that money in two
body. Have you been subjected to
weeks after moving here. I started
body shaming or trolling because
doing improv sketches and stand-up
of this?
gigs, and eventually, Pushpavalli
happened.
SS: “I just
That show
received a
truly changed
“I think the biggest screenshot
my life... And
10 minutes ago
learning
of
my
life
now, I am
where someone
is that there is no
excited about
was like, ‘Please
CPL. I have a
don’t show your
limit
to
wanting
long list of
body’. I have
more.
It
is
okay...it
things I want
always been a big
to do...I want
girl, and I have
will come to you.”
to do
always been
everything,
bullied for it. For
and comedy gave me the courage to
me, body shaming is more than just
go after my dreams.”
tackling such trolls...I want to change
the fact that I don’t get a lead role in
C: Who is your biggest
a show unless I write it. And the only
inspiration?
time people think of casting me is
SS: “I am inspired by a lot of people
when they have a character where
and most of them are women. I really
the girl is big [or plus size]. Why does
look up to the way my mum works—
one need to attach a body frame to a
she is a hustler, an absolute
character? Like, why can’t I play a
workaholic, and I am in awe of her on
character that’s stereotypically
a daily basis. She is a huge role model
written for a thin girl? That is the
for me. In comedy, in terms of the
image we need to break. No-one
industry, I am a big fan of Amy
looks like the lead characters of
Poehler—she is the reason
shows and movies in real life. Jesus, if
I developed an interest in comedy—
we get out of the pool, cellulite really
and, of course, Tina Fey. I remember
catches up with us. I mean, that’s the
a friend of mine sent me a clip of
body shaming cycle I want to break.
theirs from the Emmys they hosted,
I also deserve a show to be written
and I was in awe of how funny both
for me. Or a lead role. And by me,
of them were.”
I mean girls who look ‘regular’.
I don’t even think I look
C: Do people still assume that
stereotypically different. I am just a
women aren’t funny?
regular looking girl.”
SS: “Totally...it happens to us almost
C: What has been your biggest
every day. And, to be honest, I don’t
learning?
even care anymore. If you don’t think
SS: “I will start with CPL: it
reminded me of the power of
collaboration. I think comics, and

108

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

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comedy, have really benefitted from
that in the past. It reminded me of
how fun it is to work with comics and
how exciting it can be to be on a set,
you know. Collaboration really is the
key to doing things well.
My biggest learning in life is that it
is okay if you want more. A few days
ago, one of my friends suggested that
we should meditate on a full moon
night for 15 minutes and write down
our manifestations. Everybody wrote
four manifestations, and I had 20!
I was like, ‘Oh my god, Sumukhi.
How much do you want to
manifest?’. So, I think the biggest
learning of my life is that there is no
limit to wanting more. It is okay...it
will come to you. Another thing is
that there is no substitute for working
hard in life. I don’t know why
hardwork’s branding is so negative.
I have now learnt that a hardworking
person is recognised a lot more than
a talented person. A hardworking
person can be trusted upon, while a
talented person may leave you
halfway through. Truly, hard work
trumps everything else.”

C: What are you looking forward
to in the future, personally and
professionally?
SS: “Professionally, I am preparing
for my Netflix special...I am very
excited about it. I am also writing for
two movies, plus I am developing a
show with Sumaira [Shaikh], which
I am hoping to close by the end of
this year—it is a very, very exciting
comedy thriller. I am also looking
forward to writing movies, and
writing roles for myself. If people are
not writing them for me, I am just
going to write them for myself.
Personally, I don’t know, I might try
scuba diving...I think that’s my dream
for the year.”

On Sumukhi:
Shirt, `17,500, Dhruv
Kapoor; sneakers, price
upon request, Vans X
Simpsons Collection;
On Urooj:
Playsuit, `4,250, Shop
Drawn; sneakers,
`5,999, Fila

cosmo interview

On Rohan:
Polo, `16,950, trousers,
`21,590, both Shivan &
Narresh; Louis Junior Spikes,
`77,900, Christian Louboutin;
On Urooj:
Jacket, `6,590, pants,
`4,590, both Clarache; heels,
`7,000, Steve Madden;
necklace, `550, Kiki Kloset;
pearly neckchain, `8,500,
Misho; Daisy ring, `540,
My Boo, `590, Pastel Heart
Queen, `390, Star ring,
`590, all Cora Label;
On Sumukhi:
Dress, `11,818, Nor Black
Nor White; sneakers, `6,999,
Sketchers; hairpin, `450,
Studio Cha-Ching

cosmo interview

On Urooj:
Jacket, `6,590, Clarache;
necklace, `550, Kiki
Kloset; pearly neckchain,
`8,500, Misho; Daisy
ring, `540, My Boo, `590,
Pastel Heart Queen,
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Cora Label

“A lot of
comedians
have a
darker side.”

B

eing a comedian is not easy, especially
when you have no control over the sexist
attitudes of an unfettered audience
online. Cosmo Editor Nandini Bhalla
speaks to the talented and innately
humorous Urooj Ashfaq about the
challenges of being an Indian female comic, her journey so
far, and more.

Nandini Bhalla: Tell us more about your Netflix
show, Comedy Premium League (CPL).
Urooj Ashfaq: “Comedy Premium League comprises
different formats of comedy—there is a PPT round, then
sketches, debates, and stand-up, so everybody tries their
hand at different things. It was a lot of fun because we got
a chance to explore so much as a team. In stand-up, we
rarely get to come together.”
NB: Tell me about the camaraderie in the comedy
world. Do you have friends in the comedy business?
UA: “Yes, very much! People are equal parts nice and
mean here. But...everyone knows when to stop taking
themselves seriously. So even if they dislike someone,
nobody holds a grudge.”
NB: Do you ever feel the urge to ask people to
lighten up or get a sense of humour?
UA: “I certainly do. The thing is everyone takes different
things seriously. Everyone has list of things that defines
their personality and values, and as long as you steer clear
of those things, you are fine as a comic. So, my thing is that
just know that what doesn’t offend you could offend
someone else, and what offends you might not offend
anyone else.”
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

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cosmo interview
NB: Has the audience for comedy
shows changed over the years?
UA: “I feel the number of people
who like stand-up has increased, but,
with that, the number of people who
might get offended has also grown.
There’s this perception that comedy
means you are poking fun at
something...which is true, but there
can sometimes be a sense of
disrespect associated with comedy.
But that’s not true. Comedy isn’t
always disrespectful, it can also have
a sense of lightness to it.”
NB: Where do you find
inspiration for your material?
UA: “From my own or even someone
else’s experiences. Of course, I always
take their permission before using it
as content. It is also observational...
when I see something happening,
I make a mental note of it.”
NB: Who do you ‘test’ your jokes
on? Is there a guinea pig, who
gets to hear them first?
UA: “When I started out, I would
share my content with friends,
I would try it on my parents or
sister...but now I just go for an open
mic—it is a great way to test really
fresh jokes, even the bad ones.”
NB: Who makes you laugh?
UA: “My best friend, Mitali, never
fails to make me laugh and she is
both hilarious and intelligent.
Comedy is also very contextual, and
since we have grown up together, she
has complete context of my life,
which cracks me up and makes me
laugh the most!”
NB: People generally assume
comedians are fun, happy-golucky individuals. Do you have
dark days too?
UA: “Of course, who doesn’t?
Comedians use humour as a coping
or defence mechanism and we do it

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about the Internet is that everyone
can find you...but this is also the worst
thing about it. There is so much
bullying online—some people take
so well that we make a profession out
out bits from our shows, reduce it to a
of it. Lots of comedians, just like
line, and call it terrible. But I have
everyone else, have a darker side and
come to an understanding that there
their own insecurities.”
is an audience that is buying tickets
for my shows and I need to pay
NB: Tell us about
attention to them.
your growing up
There are times when
“ The best
years.
even they do not
thing
UA: “I used to live in
laugh, which makes
about the
the UAE until I was
me want to work
12-years-old, then
harder on my
Internet
I moved to India. As a
material. I just try to
is
that
child, I was really
focus on my
talkative...always
ever yone can performance without
cracking jokes. I don’t
thinking of my vagina
find
you...
know if I was the class
as being a factor. Of
clown, but I
course, when you put
but that is
remember always
your performance
also
the
making others laugh.
online, it becomes a
worst thing
I would keep writing
factor, and there are
in my diary
several people just
about it.”
incessantly—I have a
waiting to tear you
tonne of diaries from my school days.
apart just because you are a woman.
I think that’s where it started.”
Unfortunately, this is the larger
mindset of the country and the world.
NB: Has it always been easy for
Sexism is as old as time. There’s
you to get on stage and be funny
nothing I can do about someone who
in front of so many people? Or do
has grown up hating women and
you get a bit nervous or anxious
might have fostered a home
at times?
environment or online community
UA: “I have not always been like this.
around it. I can’t take on so many
Being performative as a child was
people’s baggages and put it on
completely different, because at that
myself...that is just too much.”
age you don’t have any inhibitions.
Getting on stage as an adult was a
NB: Do you also feel like men can
different ball game. It was definitely
get away with saying certain
stressful; I was anxious and bad at it
things in their comedy routine,
initially. Confidence and comfort
which women can’t?
levels come from not giving up and
UA: “I would say that it is way easier
just practising on the stage, despite
for them. For men, there is less scope
bombing repeatedly.”
to fail, whereas we are judged more
harshly. They have more leeway, and
NB: Let’s talk a little bit about
the audience is more understanding
sexism in the comedy world.
and forgiving when a male comedian
Does it exist?
bombs. But when a female comedian
UA: “I cannot control who sees my
doesn’t succeed, then all women are
content...I cannot control how, where,
labelled ‘unfunny’...it is bias 101.”
and with what mindset the audience
has grown up. So, if someone has a
sexist perspective and feels women
aren’t funny, so be it. The best thing
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

On Urooj:
Playsuit, `4,250, Shop
Drawn; stackable
pebble rings,
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pebble ring, `5,250,
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necklaces, Parga Pink,
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Daisy, `5,999, all
Studio Love Letter;
sneakers, `5,999, Fila;
On Rohan:
Shirt, Jack N Jones,
`2,499; pants, price
on request, Huemn;
Vida Vi Va, `75,000,
Christian Louboutin

cosmo interview
On Rohan:
Polo, `16,950, trousers,
`21,590, both Shivan &
Narresh; Louis Junior
Spikes, `77,900, Christian
Louboutin; jacket, `2,999,
H&M;
On Urooj:
Jacket, `6,590, pants,
`4,590, both Clarache;
heels, `7,000, Steve
Madden; necklace,
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neckchain, `8,500, Misho;
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Dress, `11,818, Nor Black
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`450, and rings, `500
(each), all Studio Cha-Ching

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

117

cosmo interview
On Rohan:
Polo, `16,950, trousers,
`21,590, both Shivan &
Narresh; Louis Junior
Spikes, `77,900,
Christian Louboutin

“I have always
leaned on
humour as
a stylistic
device.”

I

n a candid chat with
Cosmo Editor Nandini
Bhalla, comedian Rohan
Joshi discusses his passion
for learning, the secret to
telling a good joke, and
his feline sidekicks that often make
a cameo in his social media posts.
Nandini Bhalla: Rohan, what
was your favourite part about
this show?
Rohan Joshi: “It is a competitive,
variety show with a bunch of
different formats and comedians.
So, the most fun thing was that after
a year of being backed up and
isolated from the community at
large, we got a chance to get on the
stage. It made me realise how much
I had missed this, and that was very
invigorating. I really enjoyed the
opportunity to write and spend time
with multiple comedians.”
NB: How much time do you
actually spend writing your
comic content, and who is your
guinea pig?
RJ: “I wish I could give you
answers like: ‘I am a very
disciplined writer’. But, like all
products of the Indian education
system, I write to deadline. As the

NB: What is the secret to telling a
good joke?
RJ: “The secret is simple. Tell it to
other people after you have enjoyed
it yourself. If you are enjoying telling
it to people, chances are they are
going to enjoy listening to it. If you
are struggling through it and just
trying to find the next sentence in
panic, they will latch on to your
panic...unless it is part of the
performance, of course.”

NB: Do you still feel a bit nervous
sometimes before getting up on
stage?
RJ: “Weirdly enough, I am not
editor of a magazine, I am sure you
nervous or worried about my
have dealt with way too many people
audience. But, I am occasionally
who do that. When I do have a project,
nervous or worried about the people
I try to be disciplined and structured
online who troll you. And I am not just
about it. During this show, I had the
talking about people who raise valid
pleasure of working with three
questions or offer genuine criticism.
extremely-strong comics—Sumaira
I am talking about trolls who come at
Shaikh, Sumukhi Suresh, and Tanmay
you just for the sake of it.
Bhat. The thing about writing in a
The important thing to remember
group is that ideas
is that most of
are challenged
them are not my
“I
feel
like
the
immediately on
audience. So, on
the spot. So, even
some level I just
latter par t of my
before it gets to
tune them out.
life
would
be
an
the audience, the
Sometimes,
exercise in just
idea has already
I get nervous
been challenged
about getting in
becoming more
and changed, and
legal trouble,
and
more
turned into
but I believe
something that at
that once you
confused.”
least, the four of
are successful to
you as professionals, know should be
some degree, you are safer as an artist.
taken as funny.”
I feel our Indian systems are not set
up to protect artists and it is what it
NB: When you meet people, do you
is...you cannot help it. We have people
ever feel the pressure to be funny
asking us do stuff like The Daily Show
all the time, but this is not the US. We
because they’d expect it?
need an equally strong first
RJ: “Five years ago, my answer to
amendment and freedom of that
that would have been yes. I was
degree to help us comedians truly fly.”
constantly terrified that someone might
say, ‘This guy is just not funny’. But
NB: Were you a confident and
now I just try to be myself. And if they
outgoing child?
want to see me being funny, they
RJ: “I had the same, if not more
should buy a ticket to my show...that is
insecurities, than any child growing
what keeps the business going.”
up, but I think in the larger scheme
of things, I was a confident child.
I was very privileged and grew up in
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

119

cosmo interview
an environment where I could
express myself confidently. At school,
my teachers encouraged it, and
I participated in everything from
dramatics to essay competitions and
elocution. My parents always
encouraged me to try new things.
I even auditioned for plays and gave
singing a shot.
I wasn’t a class clown, but I do
remember an essay I wrote in the
second or third grade, and it’s not that
great, but there’s humour in it. So,
I have always leaned on humour as a
stylistic device throughout my career
and everything I have written.”
NB: I am curious about that
drum kit I can see behind you.
Tell me more about that!
RJ: “Drumming has been a hobby
and something I have wanted to learn
my whole life. I don’t think I have
much musical ability, but it is just
something that I have always wanted
to do and I love the drums...they are
a beautiful visceral instrument.
I finally reached a place where I was
like, ‘Hey, I am at a place of success
in my life where I can invest time and
money into a hobby, so why not learn
the drums?’. I also read a book that
suggested that as you get older, the
more things you learn and master,
the sharper your brain stays. And
I lost an elder family member to
Alzheimer’s, so it is one of the things
I am deeply terrified of.
So I took up a hobby course at The
True School of Music in Mumbai. It’s
a lot of fun and I even managed to
make some new friends...This is how
you make friends in your 30s you
know, by bonding over music—often
sucking at it and then getting better
at it together.
If I can, I would like to get to a
point in life where I am financially
stable and then go back to learning.
I would like to enrol in one course
after another, and just keep growing
as a person, and it doesn’t have to be
something as difficult as astrophysics,

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

even though I do want to learn
astrophysics! But I do want to learn
the more basic things like making
dimsums or pasta, another music
instrument, or a new language, and
overcome the deficiencies of our
Indian education system, which is not
wholesome in terms of providing
knowledge that makes us wellrounded individuals. And at the age
of 38, I am never going to be in a
band or going to have a hit song, but
drumming allows me to just escape
all the pressures and hang with a few
amateurs like me who simply want to
jam and have fun.”
NB: You often feature books on
your Instagram page. What kind
of books do you generally read?
RJ: “I am big on reading, but I tend
to drop out of the habit often, and it
is horrible that I don’t end up reading
anything for a few months at times.
I feel a sense of shame when all the
books I bought just stare at me from
the shelves. But I pretty much read
everything. I am a huge science
fiction and fantasy person, just
because I love to view the world and
all its aspects in different ways...just
rethinking and re-imagining the
world completely. I think some of our
greatest, most optimistic ideas as a
culture have originated from science
fiction.
Due to my limited knowledge of
history, I also got interested in nonfiction a decade or so ago. I started
reading a little more non-fiction and
sometimes that’s just speculative nonfiction, something like Sapiens: A
Brief History Of Humankind by
Yuval Noah Harari. But who can tell
for sure what actually happened back
then? Like, for example, what’s
happening in Afghanistan currently...
So many people think they know and
understand Afghanistan well, and
then you just start reading about it
and end up going down a rabbit hole.
I never want to be arrogant to assume
that I know everything about a topic
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

and make any definitive statements
about any issue. I feel like the latter
part of my life could be an exercise in
just becoming more and more
confused. And having no certainty
about anything... I think that’s great.”
NB: We also notice your cats
acting as sidekicks on your social
media...
RJ: “My cats feature in my online
content all the time, but currently
they have abandoned me...usually
they are happy to just be somewhere
in the frame. They are both
adopted...and were supposed to stay
at my house only for a week, but
being the adorable and sneaky
creatures they are, they wormed
their way into my heart.”
NB: Talking about the heart,
would you feel intimidated if you
were with someone who was by
far funnier than you?
RJ: “My girlfriend is very funny. She
really gives it back to me and sasses
me out all the time. And I feel that it
is ideal if both the people in a
relationship can make each other
laugh, as opposed to just one person
doing so.”
NB: Is that what attracted you to
her when you met?
RJ: “One of the many things, yes!”
NB: What do you have planned
over the next couple of months,
or even the next couple of years?
RJ: “Hopefully, I will be able to spend
the next year touring for my stand-up
gigs, and also pitching fiction shows
that I’d love to make, because my end
goal in life has always been to tell cool,
Q
fun stories.”
Hair and Make-Up (For Urooj Ashfaq
and Sumukhi Suresh): Pratiksha
Nair at Inega Model Management;
Hair (For Rohan Joshi): Hrida
Advani; Make-Up (For Rohan):
Nida Farooqui; Fashion Assistants:
Jaishree Chhabra, Humaira
Lakdawala, and Sneham Choudhary;
Fashion Intern: Mahek Shah.

On Rohan:
Shirt, Jack N Jones,
`2,499; pants, price
on request, Huemn;
overshirt, `5,590, Zara;
Vida Vi Va, `75,000,
Christian Louboutin

love & lust

Don’t Feel Present
During Sex? You Are
Not Alone...
If we want more pleasure and intimacy, working
on staying present during sex is crucial.
By Paisley Gilmour

IS IT COMMON NOT TO FEEL PRESENT
DURING SEX?
Kate says it is very common.
“Women’s number-one question to

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

Photograph: NISHANTH RADHAKRISHNAN

H

ave you ever felt
distracted and not
able to focus while
having sex? Because it
is a super-common experience, yet
no-one really seems to talk about it.
New research from sexual wellness
app, Ferly, found that 30% of
women experience anxiety before,
during, and after sex, and that 92%
of women don’t feel present during
sex. How not feeling present during
sex manifests itself is different for
all of us. “It can vary from person to
person and in the level of intensity
that is felt,” explains London-based
Kate Moyle, a psychosexual therapist
at Ferly. But for most of us, she says
it feels like not being able to silence
our busy minds and “letting our
thoughts jump from things that have
happened in the past to things that
could happen in the future, rather
than tuning into the very present
moment.” Here is an expert guide
to feeling present during the act,
including advice on how to use
mindfulness techniques to focus
better (and on your pleasure).

WHY DO SO MANY WOMEN
STRUGGLE WITH FEELING PRESENT?
While distraction is an issue for people
of all genders and sexualities, Kate
explains that it is more likely to affect
women. “75% of global unpaid work
is done by women. This is often on
top of the work they do in their day
job,” she says. “Women have to think
about running a household, pushing
themselves at work, caring for their
family, and so much more. Being
incredibly busy means women also
put others’ needs before their own.
It is unsurprising that women get
distracted during sex because if they
are not thinking about their endless
to-do list, they are most likely thinking
about whether their partner is having
a good time instead of tuning into
their own pleasure.”
There are also a lot of dominant
narratives and messages about what
or how to be a sexual person, and
“particularly a sexual woman”, Kate
says. “This can impact women being
in the moment.” Men also struggle
with feeling present during sex, but
Kate explains that the combination
of being overworked and having a
responsive desire type means that
presentness plays a much larger
role in women’s pleasure. “Rather
than focusing on the experience
itself, these internalised ideas can
shape how someone perceives their
partner, or even themselves, in that
experience, and what that means
about them; and these thoughts can
be very distracting,” she continues.
“Men are also excluded from this type
of messaging, and as a psychosexual
therapist I also work with a lot of
younger, men who experience
performance anxiety. They believe
that they have to be sexual ‘as a man’,
and messaging about masculinity,
toxic masculinity, and performance
can follow them into the bedroom.”

UNDERSTANDING YOUR DESIRE TYPE
Before learning how to feel more
present during sex, it is useful to

“

“

us at Ferly is ‘Am I normal?’—and
while we hate the word ‘normal’
because generally there is no ‘normal’
when it comes to feeling distracted
during sex—well, that is normal!”

The mind-body
connection is
really important.

understand how different people
experience sexual desire. “For all
sexes, especially women, the mindbody connection is really important.
For the majority of women and
people with vulvas, we experience
what is called ‘responsive desire’.
This is different from most men and
people with penises who experience
what is called ‘spontaneous desire’,
Kate explains. “Spontaneous desire
is, as Massachusetts-based Emily
Nagoski, an expert on women’s sexual
being, describes it, a ‘lightning bolt to
the genitals’. You want some sex out of
the blue, you get aroused, and maybe
have some sex. This type of desire is
common, healthy, and unremarkable
just like responsive desire. Responsive
desire, is essentially desire (that is
your wanting/unwanting of sex), that
happens in response to stimuli—
which could simultaneously include
the ‘exciting’ stuff or the things that
tell your brain to get in the mood. For
example: a kiss, a touch of the hand, a
lingering look, the smell of perfume or
cologne, a secluded (or maybe a busy)
beach, etc. And also the ‘inhibitory’
stuff or the things that tell your brain
right now probably isn’t the best
time, like while on a Zoom call with
your parents, when you are stressed
at work, when you are worried about
getting an STI, etc.”

WHY TO WORK ON FEELING MORE
PRESENT DURING SEX?
It is easy to forget that sex is supposed
to be fun, pleasurable, and enjoyable.
Kate says learning to feel more
present during sex can:
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

• Help you discover what types of
touch you enjoy most.
• Bring you into your body, so that you
are aware of how you are feeling—
which gives you the insight to
communicate more effectively.
• Make you aware of your breath and
heart rate, which are indicators of
your pleasure, and knowing this allows
you to control the experience. You can
speed up to bring yourself to climax or
slow down to extend the pleasurable
feelings.
• Help you understand your partner
and their needs better, so that you can
become a better lover.
• Reduce self-judgement and
‘spectatoring’, which is the act of
evaluating yourself during sex and
worrying about your performance.

HOW TO FEEL MORE PRESENT
DURING SEX?
Sensate Focus is a sex therapy
technique used to increase your
intimacy and make your sexual
experiences (hopefully) more
pleasurable. It teaches mindfulness as
a way to train your brain into battling
distraction and being more present
in the moment. Mindfulness can
also teach you how to control your
thoughts, silence your mind, connect
better with your partner, and tune into
Q
your pleasure.
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love & lust

What
Does
NonBinary
Mean?
Here’s how you can
use your privilege and
be a better ally to
non-binary people.

Photographs: ASHISH SHAH

By Jamie Windust

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

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N

on-binary people are still very much
misunderstood, despite many celebrities
like Demi Lovato speaking about being nonbinary. Fortunately, through the power of
social media the landscape of sexuality and gender has
been able to reach so many more people than before. I am
non-binary, and have identified this way since 2015. My
awakening with non-binary identities and the LGBTQIA+
term in general came through Twitter. It granted me an
epiphany moment, and I was able to feel like the cogs
were fitting.

WHAT DOES NON-BINARY MEAN?
The definition from Stonewall, a UK-based
charity, describes non-binary as an “umbrella term for
people whose gender identity doesn’t sit comfortably with
‘man’ or ‘woman’”. For me, it means the ability to choose
and set your own rules and parameters of where you see
yourself in this melting pot we call society.
It is the key to being free of any expectations anyone
wants to set on you... Because, do you know what, we
don’t have time for them. But hold up, just to throw

another spanner in the works of the wonderful
mechanism that is gender, there are two really
important—and different—ways in which gender should
be discussed.
‘Gender identity’ explains the ways in which people
self-identify. That’s how we choose ourselves to identify
our gender, and what we feel personally fits us. For
example, non-binary/cisgendered (not trans).
But then there is ‘gender expression’. This is the way
in which you decide to express and live as your gender
identity (it is the fun bit). The best part about gender
expression is that it is a chance to completely tear the
rule book apart.
Anyone can express their gender identity in any way
they choose. For example, non-binary people, although
their identity is outside of the binary, they can express
that in a masculine, feminine, or androgynous way—
basically, however they see fit. They can also be both
trans and non-binary.
And, it is really important to remember that
however someone expresses their gender identity,
it does not negate their identity. That identity is
still always 100 percent valid.

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING AN
ALLY TO NON-BINARY PEOPLE
Allyship is the concept of supporting people who
may face other challenges in the world that you
yourself don’t face. It is about using your privilege
in a way that benefits others. In 2021 it is
incredibly important. See it as a little hug that
doesn’t always need to be physical.
A 2020 study conducted by psychologists Jagruti
R Wandrekar and Advaita S Nigudkar on the
LGBTQIA+ community in India showed that
many face serious mental health issues and suffer
from anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem due
to discrimination. Another study published in the
Indian Journal Of Psychological Medicine in 2016
revealed that at least 31 percent of transgender
people interviewed tried to commit suicide before
the age of 20.
For myself and many trans and non-binary
people, public prejudice is one of the main
struggles we face in day-to-day life. It is this, and
the very real fear of violence, that has resulted in
76 percent of non-binary people actively avoiding
expressing their gender identity in public. And
that is why cisgender people being proactive allies
is so important.

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

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love & lust
HOW TO BE BETTER ALLY
TO NON-BINARY PEOPLE
Smiling is such an effective tool when
it comes to boosting someone’s mood
and showing solidarity. As someone
who lives in London, I know it is not
a classic thing to do. But, if you see
someone and think they might be
feeling vulnerable or stressed, throw
them a smile and you will probably
get one back, too.

SPEAK OUT WITH US
For trans and non-binary people,
even getting transport can be a
nightmare because of public
prejudice. People can use us as a
form of entertainment for the
duration of their journey. This can
range from them taking pictures of
us, laughing, talking about us, or just
being plain rude.
If you see this happening and think
we need help, then please speak out
and call out this behaviour.
Sometimes, we don’t want to speak
out due to fear of violence. Having
someone who can help out makes us
feel more comfortable, safe, and is
really heart-warming. People usually
like to keep quiet, but it is time to
change that.

USE THE CORRECT
PRONOUNS
Pronouns—like he, she, and they—
are really important. Just like the
ways in which we self-define our
gender identity, we also get to choose
our own pronouns.
As a non-binary person, I use they/
them pronouns. Not every nonbinary person uses these pronouns. It
can be hard to explain this to some
people, so a great way you can make
it easier for us is to just ask! Not only
does it make us feel at ease and more
comfortable, it flags to us that you are
a lovely human being. It is always
lovely to find another lovely human
in this world.
Trans and non-binary people may
sometimes choose their name,
too. Research in the Journal for
Adolescent Health found trans

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

people who were allowed to use their
chosen names reported a 65 percent
decrease in suicide attempts
compared to those who were not.
They also reported 71 percent less
symptoms of severe depression. So, it
is not just a small thing—it can make
all the difference.

SUPPORT THE WORK
OF TRANS AND NONBINARY PEOPLE
There are so many trans and nonbinary people creating such amazing
work. Some of the hardest working
people I know are non-binary. People
such as Travis Alabanza, a gender
non-conforming person of colour.
Travis uses their lived experience to
create moving poetry, spoken word,
and theatre is someone we all need to
experience live. Also, Fox
Fisher and Owl are inspirational.
They use their lived experience to
inform the world of what it is like to
live as trans and non-binary, through
their YouTube
series MyGenderation, countless
talks, and workshops.

DONATE TO AND
FUNDRAISE FOR
LGBTQIA+ CHARITIES
There are so many amazing charities
doing life-saving work for trans and
non-binary people. Naz Foundation,
an Indian NGO and charity, helps
gender diverse, trans, and non-binary
young people economically. It also
helps the LGBTQIA+ community
with issues related to HIV/AIDS and
sexuality.
The Humsafar Trust helps people
in and around Mumbai with legal
counsel, mental health assistance,
along with crisis management. It also
organises advocacy workshops to
help politicians, judiciary, media,
legislators, and many others to
sensitise them on issues related to
the LGBTQIA+ community.
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AND FINALLY...
Don’t get me wrong, this is not me
sitting here telling you why you are a
bad person. So don’t get it twisted
darling, you are great. But, we can all
just do better!
It is not always easy to empathise
and even realise what is going on for
someone who has a totally different
lived experience from you. And
remember, despite our flawless looks
and killer attitude, we all need a little
Q
help sometimes.

you, you, you

Breathe Right
to Keep Anxiety
at Bay!
In this edition of Fiama Feel Good—
our monthly series on mental
health, in collaboration with ITC
FIAMA—find out more about anxiety
and the breathing techniques you
can use to tackle it, helping you
stay relaxed and perform better.
By Dr Prerna Kohli, Clinical
Psychologist and Founder, MindTribe

A

Photograph: GETTYIMAGES.COM

“

n individual experiencing anxiety
often worries about the future to
such a point that the uncertainty
can seem intimidating to one’s
survival. Therefore, when we get anxious,
our heartbeat skyrockets, we are unable to
breathe or sweat profusely, feel thirsty, etc.
These responses are very typical of the activation of
the sympathetic nervous system, which keeps us on the
edge and clouds us with a chronic feeling of impending
boom. This feeling of apprehension and worry often
results in physical symptoms that cause discomfort and
may aggravate over time.
Although, some amount of anxiety is normal and even
helps us perform better (such as the discomfort you
might feel in your stomach right before a presentation),
it can become a problem if it renders you dysfunctional
and makes you want to avoid or escape situations.
Our response to stress, fear, and anxious behaviour is
similar as it is linked to the fear centre of the brain,
the amygdala. To reduce anxiety, we need to reduce
the reactivity of the amygdala as well as activate our
parasympathetic nervous system. And one of the best
ways of doing so is by focusing on our breathing. Here
are some simple breathing exercises that you can try out
daily to reduce your anxiety:
• Belly Breathing: Also known as diaphragmatic
breathing, it helps improve pulmonary capacity,
increases awareness and feeling of relaxation, and aids
in resetting your sleep cycle. Start doing this three times

a day and gradually practice it for five-ten
minutes each day.
• Box Breathing: This exercise is known
for boosting concentration. It is also called
square breathing. Please note, that it can be
slightly difficult initially and you might feel
dizzy, so ease into it.
• Alternate Nostril Breathing: Improving cardiovascular
function and lowering blood pressure, this yoga form
is called nadi shodhana pranayama. Do this for at least
five minutes daily and finish by exhaling through the left
nostril.”
COSMO READERS HAVE SOME QUESTIONS FOR DR
PRERNA, TOO
Q. Is there a difference between anxiety and panic attacks?
“Anxiety usually has a known trigger or a perceived threat. This
means anything trigger-related could make a person anxious. But
panic attacks are random and without any triggers as they can
occur at any moment. A person experiencing a panic attack feels
a loss of momentary control, but this feeling subsides eventually.
Both anxiety and panic attacks can be extremely discomforting
and hence, require professional guidance to be dealt with.”
Q. I often wake up in the middle of the night, feeling
anxious. Please help.
“If you wake up feeling anxious, it is a sign that you go to sleep
with your worries. Keep a bottle of water handy always and take a
few deep breaths. Inhale through the nostrils and out through the
mouth. But most importantly, spend some time creating a sleep
ritual. This will improve your sleep hygiene and reduce such
incidents. For better sleep hygiene, stop using gadgets and
thinking about work at least half an hour before sleeping. Spend
time with your family or simply create a gratitude journal.”

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

127

How to Know If You
Are Bisexual
A compilation of confessions from a thread on Reddit where women
share their journey of stepping into their own and realising they are
also into other genders.

Image: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

love & lust

”I didn’t let myself use
the label until I’d actually
slept with a girl, which
happened when I was 22.
But the signs were there
early on, and I had been
actively fantasising about
it for years. I still
gravitate towards the
label ‘bi’, and don’t like
that people keep calling
that label transphobic or
exclusive of non-binary
gender identities...
Because, that’s not how
the bi community
defines it. I’m
ambivalent about calling
myself pansexual, since I

really haven’t encountered
a gender identity I can’t be
attracted to. But many pan
people describe
themselves as feeling like
gender is irrelevant to their
experience of attraction,
and that’s not true for me.”
@cosmeticsnerd.
”It started as, ‘I just like
lesbian porn’. Then it
progressed to, ‘I’m super
feminist because women
are strong and beautiful
and wonderful’. After that,
I moved to, ‘Wow some
women are just
breathtakingly beautiful
and funny and sweet’. It
was only after my own
self-image improved that
I was able to move from
‘I want to be like her’, to
‘I just want her’. I guess it
took from about age 14 to
19, but my own
insecurities still hold me
back a lot.”
@versacethepeacock
”I’m a queer cisgender
female, and I started
exploring my sexuality
when I was 31. I’m 35 now.
I honestly had no idea that
I was capable of being
sexually and romantically
attracted to people other
than cis/hetereosexual
men until I actually tried it!
My first time being
sexual with a non-male was
at a play party where
I specifically stated that
I wanted to play with
women. The organiser took
me up on it and we made
out...and got busy in front
of basically everyone. What
an amazing first time! After
that I had opportunities to
have consensual, lowpressure make-outs and sex
with queer folx [sic] and

women at other parties.
Honestly, without that
chance, I’m not sure
I would have realised I was
queer. And it was okay that
I didn’t know for my whole
life. My first romantic
realisation of queerness
was when I started dating
my (hopefully) future
spouse who is non-binary
AFAB [assigned female at
birth]. We immediately
fell hard for each other,
and I had absolutely no
doubt that my feelings
were valid and serious.
Since then I’ve also started
dating a woman (we’re all
polyamorous).”
@YetiYogurt
”I was 17. I realised I had
a crush on a co-worker
when I was feeling
disappointed after she
told me about her
husband and children.
I actually should have
realised sooner, because
when I was around 10,
there was this presenter
on TV whose cleavage
I would always check out!
But I was sexually
repressed until I was 18,
so I guess that’s why.”
@s2pd
”I’m still not sure how or
when I realised, but I was
26 before I really accepted
it. I’d kind of always liked
girls/women, but the way
I felt about them vs how
I felt about boys/men felt a
little different, so I just
brushed it off.” @redbess
“When I was a teenager
my best friend was at my
house for a sleepover, and
she told me, ‘I have a
crush on you’. My
immediate feeling was

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

something like, ‘Hey,
I think I’m into that.’
Making out commenced,
and that is how I figured
out I was bisexual.”
@Hagplanet

“Since I’m married to a man, I get t he t ypical backlash
t hat I’m ‘not really bi’, or ‘ will cheat some day’.“

B

eing bisexual
isn’t always
easy. There are
still so many
misconceptions about
bisexuality, and that can
be incredibly frustrating.
So if you are wondering,
‘Am I bisexual?’, you
need to be wary of the
BS. Despite what you
may have heard, bisexual
means being attracted to
more than one gender—
it doesn’t mean attracted
to just men and women.
Gender, like sexuality,
exists on a spectrum.
It is not binary. If you
are attracted to people
regardless of their gender,
and have the potential to
be attracted to someone
of any gender, you could
be pansexual. Other
people might use queer.
The label you use is up to
you: there is no right or
wrong when identifying
your sexuality. Here,
real-life bisexuals explain
via Reddit how they
knew they were attracted
to people of more than
one gender.

“I still question it
sometimes. I identify as
bisexual, but sometimes
I feel like I’m lying
because I haven’t been
with a woman since I was
a teen in high school. But
I find myself having
crushes on women, and
fantasising about
women, so I still identify
as bisexual when
someone asks. But
I think I just knew.”
@ anoliveanarrow
“[I have] Just always been
attracted to men and
women. My upbringing
from my mother was very
insistent that I did not
actually like women, so
I learned very early to not
talk about it. But it’s
never gone away. Since
I’m married to a man,
I get the typical backlash,
that I’m ‘not really bi’, or
‘will cheat some day’.
Which of course is very
irritating.” @ lilybeth
“I’m in my late 20s, and
only realised I’m also
into women this year.
I looked back at high
school and thought,
‘Huh, I think I acted so
crazy and jealous
because I was in love with
her.’ And also realised I
had these really specific
memories of when
friends looked especially
beautiful. Hot damn, I’ve
always been into women,
how about that?”
@throwaway10849 Q

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

129

you, you, you

45

Gender and
SexualityRelated
Terms You
Need to
Know
Here is a comprehensive look
at the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.
By Sophie Saint Thomas, Taylor
Andrews, and Rachel Varina

130

COSMOPOLITAN MARCH 2020

As we all know by now, gender, sexual
orientation, and romantic preferences
all span across a spectrum. And thanks
to language constantly evolving, this
means there are many more terms
people can use to describe themselves
that go well beyond just ‘straight’ or
‘gay’ and ‘male’ or ‘female’.
But because sexuality and gender
identity are so nuanced, it is important
to stay informed and knowledgeable
about inclusive language so you can
continue to provide a safe space for
those around you. Especially, since
LGBTQIA+ people can often times be
demonised for simply being themselves.
So, whether you are one of the
identities below or just want to be a
better ally, read on to learn more about
45 LGBTQIA+ terms that are absolutely
essential to know.

1. AROMANTIC
Aromantic is used to describe someone
who does not experience a romantic
attraction to another person. This could
look like someone who does not want to
go on dates, has no interest to ever be in a
romantic relationship, and/or does not
need to get to know someone above and
beyond a friendship.
Aromanticism is most often confused
with asexuality. The difference is (to put it
very simply): an asexual person may not
want to sleep with you, while an aromantic
person may not want a romantic
relationship with you. But they might still
decide to have one anyway.

Photographs: GETTYIMAGES.COM

2. ALLOROMANTIC
On the flip side of aromantic is
alloromantic. The term describes people
who experience romantic feelings for one
or more individuals. An alloromantic person
can experience romantic feelings with
someone from the opposite gender or the
same gender, of two genders, or of
various genders. This is a privileged
identity since it is often the (incorrectly)
assumed romantic orientation.

you, you, you
3. AGENDER
The term agender describes
someone who does not have
any particular gender. This
can include people who are
not their assigned sex or not
any gender. A tip to
remember: ‘A’ as a prefix
means the absence of
something, so when you look
at the term ‘agender’, it
refers to the absence of
gender completely.
4. ASEXUAL
Put simply, if someone is asexual, it
could mean they are not sexually
attracted to other humans, explains
Philadelphia-based sexologist Timaree
Leigh, PhD. The Trevor Project, a
California-based NGO for the queer
community, explains that asexuals have
“little interest in having sex even though
most desire emotionally intimate
relationships.”
“You may desire close relationships
with people, even romantic ones, but
the idea of touching each other’s
genitals is not particularly thrilling,”
says Timaree.
But keep in mind that asexuality is
different than celibacy, which is making
an intentional decision not to have sex
with others. “Asexual folks may still
enjoy masturbation, but they may not
fantasise about involving another
person in it.”

5. SEX-REPULSED
‘Sex-repulsed’ can describe someone
who is uninterested in sex and/or finds
sex undesirable. Chances are, they
would not want to look at, hear about,
or talk about any sexual activity. The
reason for sex repulsion can be
circumstantial, contextual,
psychological, medical, or related to
past trauma.
Oh, and while the term is commonly
used within the asexual community, it is
not actually a marker of asexuality.
Asexuality is a sexual identity, but being
sex-repulsed describes the lived-in

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

sexual experience.

6. CUPIOSEXUAL
Cupiosexuality falls under the larger
asexual spectrum as a more specific
label of asexuality. While asexuality
describes someone who feels little to
no attraction to others, cupiosexuality
describes someone who still desires a
sexual relationship despite feeling little
to no attraction. So basically, they want
to have a sexual relationship, but they
do not experience sexual attraction.

7. GREYSEXUALITY
Another orientation within the asexuality
spectrum is greysexual (or graysexual,
grey-ace, or gray-ace). This term is
used to describe people who
experience sexual attraction and sexual
feelings very rarely—whether that is a
few times in their whole lives or more.
Outside of the rare occurrences where
they feel attraction, they are virtually
identical to asexual individuals.

8. GREYROMANTIC
Greyromantic is a romantic orientation,
meaning it describes someone’s
romantic interests and patterns—not
their gender or sexual orientation. It is
kinda like a flip-flop of sexuality in the
sense that ‘greyromantic’ is used to
describe a person who rarely feels a
romantic attraction to someone. A
greyromantic individual will experience
romantic attraction more often than
someone who is aromantic, but less
often than someone who is alloromantic.

9. OMNISEXUAL
Since ‘omni’ means ‘each and every
one’, omnisexual means someone who
can find themselves attracted to all
people, regardless of their gender. It is
important to clarify that omnisexual
people are not gender blind though—
they see gender but someone’s gender
is not why they are attracted to them.

10. TRANS FEMININE
While the term trans feminine most
commonly describes someone who
was assigned male at birth (AMAB) and
is feminine, different people use the
term in different ways. Some trans
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

feminine people may be trans women
(aka someone assigned male at birth
who is a woman), whereas others may
be non-binary people, genderqueer
people, or any other gender identity.

11. TRANS MASCULINE
The term trans masculine describes
someone who was assigned female at
birth (AFAB) and is masculine. Like with
trans feminine people, some trans
masculine people may be trans men,
whereas others might be non-binary,
genderqueer, or another gender identity.

12. DEMIBOY
Demiboy is a gender identity that can
be used to describe someone who
embraces aspects of masculinity. It
does not matter whether they were
born with X or Y chromosomes—their
identity is tied in some way to the male
gender.
Keep in mind that demiboy differs
from what it means to be transgender
though, because a demiboy might still
be their assigned gender at birth.

exclusive, romantic, long-term, coupledup relationship. This discredits the
experiences of those who are asexual
and polyamorous. Amatonormativity
also suggests that romantic
relationships are more important than
other platonic relationships like with
your friends, family, and coworkers.

18. POLYSEXUALITY
Polysexuality means someone is
attracted to many genders and
identities. More often than not, those
who are polysexual ignore gender
binaries altogether—especially when
it comes to who they are and aren’t
attracted to. Being polysexual means
a person is not necessarily attracted
to all genders, but they are to many
of them.

19. PANGENDER

13. DEMIGIRL
Opposite of demiboy,
a demigirl is someone
who embraces
aspects of femininity.
Demigirl is also
different from the
identity transgender,
since a demigirl might
still be their gender
assigned at birth.
14. BIGENDER
As the name suggests, bigender
describes a person who is two
genders. People who are bigender
can alternate between being
masculine and feminine or they can
be both at the same time. They can
also be two gender identities, like
female and male, or femme and
genderqueer, or trans feminine and
agender, etc.

15. ALLOSEXUAL
Allosexual simply means you are a
person who experiences sexual
attraction but with no specific definition
for who you feel attraction towards. The
term originated from the asexual
community in order to call attention to
the power and privilege dynamics of
attraction, since being allosexual is a
privileged identity and sexual attraction is
assumed to be the ‘norm’.

16. HETERONORMATIVE
Heteronormativity is the perspective that
all relationships are between cisgender,
heterosexual people. This is problematic
because it assumed that heterosexual
relationships are the ‘norm’ and
heterosexuality is the default sexual
orientation. Essentially, it says everyone
is straight unless otherwise stated, which
discredits the experiences of those who
are not.

17. AMATONORMATIVITY
Amatonormativity describes the belief
that everyone is better off in an
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

The term pangender is used to
describes someone who feels
comfortable with different gender
labels, meaning they are cool being
labelled every gender identity known to
them all at once. A pangender person
might choose to shift between
identities over time or simply be one,
all-encompassing identity like
‘pangender’ forever.

20. COMPULSORY
HETEROSEXUALITY
Compulsory heterosexuality, also
called ‘comphet’, is the idea that
heterosexuality is the only valid
sexuality and everyone should be
straight. Typically, this looks like an
acquaintance asking you if you have a
boyfriend or your mom insinuating you
are dating your guy friend because he
is, you know, a guy. For obvious
reasons, this notion is harmful to queer,
trans, and/or non-cisgender people.

21. ABROSEXUAL
Abrosexual describes someone whose
sexuality is fluid and whose sexual
preferences, intensity, and/or attraction
may change over time. There is no
time frame as for when or how often
this person might change their sexual
orientation.
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133

you, you, you
22. GENDER
NONCONFORMING
Gender nonconforming is an umbrella
term that essentially challenges
‘accepted’ gender expectations. The
term is super-broad and can relate to
anything from how you live your life to
how you perform gender through
clothing, hairstyle, facial hair, and more.

who is demiromantic is not that it’s a
feeling that comes and goes with
different people but an actual absence
of any feeling around romanticism until
they get deeply mentally connected to
a partner,” says Courtney D’Allaird,
Assistant Director of the Gender and
Sexuality Resource Center at University
at Albany.

23. CETEROSEXUAL

25. BIROMANTIC

This term refers to someone who is
attracted to a person who is non-binary,
transgender, and in some cases,
anyone who is not cisgender. You may
hear people use the term skoliosexual
also, but this is no longer appropriate
since ‘skolio’ means ‘crooked’ in Latin.
Stick with ceterosexual.

A biromantic person is capable of
feeling a romantic connection with
people of both similar and different
genders from their own. Biromantic is
only used to describe someone’s
romantic preferences, not sexual
preferences like bisexuality would.

24. DEMIROMANTIC
Demiromantic can be used to describe
someone who feels romantic feelings
only after they build a strong bond or
connection with someone. But keep in
mind that while someone who is
demiromantic can experience romantic
attraction, they do not actively seek it.
“The major difference for someone

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COSMOPOLITAN MARCH 2020

26. AUTOSEXUAL
If you are autosexual, it could mean
you feel a sense of sexual attraction
toward yourself, says Pennsylvaniabased sex and relationship expert
Carmel Jones. And while autosexuality
is often associated with narcissism,
experts agree that is not an accurate
way of thinking of the term.
“Narcissists require admiration and

attention from others and lack
empathy,” explains US-based Megwyn
White, Director of Education for
Satisfyer, an international sexual
wellness brand. “People who are
autosexual are able to have relationships
with others, but have a preference for
sex with themselves,” Megwyn adds.

27. ORIENTATION
Orientation, or sexual orientation,
describes who you are attracted to.

28. GENDER
Although they are often misunderstood
to mean the same thing, there is a
crucial difference between gender and
sexual orientation. “Sexual orientation
is whom you are attracted to
romantically, while gender identity is
how one perceives themselves, such
as male, female, non-binary, etc,” says
Los Angeles-based sex educator and
trauma specialist Jimanekia Eborn.

29. HETEROSEXUAL
Heterosexuality means being straight.
Someone is hetero if they are attracted
to their opposite gender.

30. GAY

36. BIPHOBIA

While gay traditionally refers
to men who are attracted to
other men, it also has an
umbrella definition to
describe anyone who dates
their same gender. For
instance, many lesbians may
refer to themselves as gay.

Biphobia is fear, hatred, and stigma
toward bisexual people. It is typically
rooted in incorrect stereotypes, like the
assumptions that bi people cannot be
monogamous and further perpetuate the
gender binary by dating only cis people or
that bisexuality is just a stepping stone
away from gay or straight rather than a
legit sexual orientation (which it is).

31. LESBIAN
A lesbian is a woman who dates and is
attracted to other women.

32. QUEER
“Queer is another umbrella term that
someone might use to describe
themselves as not straight, but not
comfortable with the gendered
limitations of words like gay or lesbian,”
says Timaree.
Keep in mind that queer is a word
that was once a slur and was reclaimed
by the LGBTQIA+ community, so you
never want to call someone this word
unless they give you permission to.

33. LGBTQIA+
LGBTQIA+ is an acronym for the
broader queer community. It stands for
lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer,
and more. Sometimes the ‘Q’ also
represents ‘question’ (those
questioning their sexuality) or it is
written out as LGBTQQ or LGBTQ+.
Originally GLBT, the letters may also
appear as LGBT or LGBTQI (adding an
‘I’ for intersex).

34. BISEXUAL
Bisexuality refers to the capacity for
attraction to your own gender as well as
genders that are not your own.

35. PANSEXUAL
There is a lot of overlap between
bisexuality and pansexuality, and some
people use both to describe their
orientation. Pansexuality is defined as
attraction to people regardless of their
gender identity. For pansexuals, gender
is not a determining point in who they are
interested in.

37. GENDER BINARY
The gender binary assumes that someone
is either male or female and relies on the
gender assigned at birth based on
genitals. As the gender revolution grows
and more is understood about socialised
gender roles, the more many people
understand themselves and those around
them as not just male or female but
somewhere in between. That could mean
both male and female, trans, or both
non-binary and trans.

38. NON-BINARY
A non-binary person is someone who is
not on the gender binary (meaning male or
female). Non-binary is an umbrella term,
and the pronouns someone uses and the
way they describe their gender varies
from person to person.

39. GENDER FLUID
In general, being gender
fluid describes someone
whose gender fluctuates.
They maybe different
genders at different
times or points in their
life. Like non-binary
people, how a gender
fluid person describes
themselves and the
pronouns they use vary
from person to person.
They may be male one
day and female another.
They may be both male
and female at the same
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

time, non-binary and
female at the same
time, all at the same
time, etc.
40. TRANSGENDER
Sometimes referred to as trans, this
term refers to someone whose sex
assigned at birth does not match their
gender identity.

41. INTERSEX
Intersex is a general term used for a
variety of conditions in which someone
is born with reproductive anatomy that
does not match the traditional
definitions of female or male. This can
refer both to genitals and chromosomes
doctors use to mark gender.

42. CIS
Cis is short for cisgender and used to
describe a person whose gender
matches the sex and gender assigned
to them at birth.

43. CISHET
Cishet is an abbreviation for someone
who is both cisgender and heterosexual.
A cishet person both identifies with the
gender they were assigned at birth and
is straight.

44. HYPERSEXUAL
Hypersexuality is exactly what it
sounds like. Timaree defines it as
the ability to be attracted to someone
based on looks alone, without knowing
them personally. As long as there is
communication involved, there is
nothing wrong with being hypersexual,
just like there is nothing wrong with
being asexual.

45. DEMISEXUAL
If sexuality is a spectrum, with asexuality
at one end and hypersexuality at the
other, demisexual sits in the middle.
“Demisexuality implies that you don’t
feel attraction for other people innately
but can develop it over time with
intimacy and connectedness,”
says Timaree.
Q
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

135

you, you, you

A Letter to Straight
People from the
‘Gay Best Friend’
The concept implies and constantly reminds you that
while your straight friends are normal, you are not.
By Daniel Harding

THE
ODD ONE OUT
“I remember once
being the GBF on a
cinema trip, where all
the girls had a guy
and I had
popcorn.”

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

problems and being her comedy side queen should have been an
honour. But in reality, I realised it was not a fun title at all.

COMING OUT
Having dabbled with the thought of being straight and denying
who I was for far too long, I stopped pretending that my best
friend was a potential love interest (thank you Alex), and told my
family just before I left school.
Although it felt like I had just climbed a mountain, that was only
the beginning. My straight girl friends were supportive, and
excited to suddenly have a GBF. To them, I could be that trusty
friend to go bra shopping with, who would talk about men with

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Photograph: GETTYIMAGES.COM

S

“

ince before I can remember, I have hated hearing
someone say the word, ‘gay.’ I came out when I
was 18 years old. And to this day, it is the hardest
thing I have ever done. After I came out, I faced
bullying, rejection, and depression. But, with the lows
came the highs—one of which was when I finally became,
the holy grail, ‘gay best friend’.
Despite the gay best friend (GBF) often being thought
of as ‘the hottest accessory’, it was, and still is, a label that
weighs heavily on my mind. According to the movies, I
should have loved my unpaid position as the straight girl’s
best friend/agony aunt. Always listening to her boy

THE GBF LABEL
To the world, I was just one of ‘the girls.’ But in my heart,
that did not feel right. It felt cruel. According to the Urban
Dictionary, ‘The gay best friend is the best
friend of any hot girl you know, and the
key to getting with that girl. Behind every
hot girl is a GBF.’
And ‘behind’ them is exactly where I
stood. Forever the odd one out.
I lost count of the times I was the only
boy shopping with a group of girls. The
only lad at the girl’s sleepover, where a
father made me feel bad for being the
only boy there. An adult man who
towered over me, pulled me to one side, and said it was not
right for a boy to be friends with a group of girls. ‘You should
be out playing football,’ he said. Unaware of his homophobia, I
assumed he was right...that there was something wrong with
me. I remember once being the GBF on a cinema trip, where
all of the girls had a guy, and I had popcorn. No amount of
jokes they cracked could hide that as the awkward single gay
boy, I was not like them at all. Also without a plus one.
I got used to being the only boy in a crowded room, feeling
ignored and fighting tears. Because the reality of being the
GBF was an uncomfortable and lonely existence. As much as I
adored my friends, I knew they would never truly understand
how I felt. They were not ever cruel, and even when they
introduced me to someone new as their GBF, I knew they did
not mean to make me feel bad. But that did not matter,
because every time they did, my stomach flipped. I worried
that person had heard the word gay and now that is all they
saw me as. And as someone who struggled with being gay for
so long, having it constantly highlighted was hard. All I craved
was to be ‘normal’ and to fit in. But all I did was stand out. A
role that was meant to make me feel accepted and loved
gradually turned out to be a pretty hard gig. Still, I plastered
on a smile and channelled the happy-go-lucky GBFs I had
seen on the screen. But re-watching the romantic comedies I
had loved when I was younger, I noticed the GBF was always
a side-line character, wing man or supporting role. Damien
from Mean Girls, George from My Best Friend’s Wedding or
Brandon from Easy A, all fulfilled their role as the comedy

“

GBF perfectly. It is a role that on the surface works for the
happy ending of a rom-com, revolving around one character.
But because we rarely heard a back story for those unsung
heroes, we never got to find out who they really were.

‘THE GAY ONE’
As I got older and made friends with more LGBTQIA+ people,
I realised that there was more to life than being labelled. You
see, when you are with a group of LGBTQIA+ people, you
are never branded the ‘gay one.’ But with straight people, you
are always the ‘gay one.’ And this is where the problem lies.
Because the concept of the GBF implies—and constantly
reminds you—that while they are normal, you are not.
UK-based psychologist Dr Becky Spellman says “this popular
stereotype can be extremely damaging and hurtful to the person
involved. They are expected to fulfil a very specific role in their
(usually) female friend’s life that effectively
reduces them to a series of pastiches and
does not reveal the full complexity of their
personality. Perhaps especially when they
are young, and still coming to terms with
who they are, some gay men may feel that
pigeon-holing themselves into the
stereotypes is an acceptable price for
friendship”. And that is exactly how I felt.

“

them into the early hours, all while braiding their hair. I would
be the one guy who would not get an erection in their
presence, knew which top they should wear with ‘that’ skirt,
and have the right words to comfort them.
And at first, that was fine with me. Those friends brought
me back to life after hiding for so long. I finally felt needed
and, for the first time in my life, like I fitted in. They did not
judge me or make me feel bad. We would laugh at my
stupid jokes and it felt good to have real friends to text and
hang out with.
But the negatives that came with the GBF label gradually
started to creep in.

I craved to be
‘normal’ but all I
did was stand out.

PRESSURING MYSELF
Sure, society’s lack of acceptance, poor representation in
movies, and harsh bullies played their part in my desire to hide
my gayness and be perceived as normal. But looking back, I
realise I was guilty of putting immense pressure on myself,
too. I was scared that my voice was ‘too gay’ so I never spoke
loudly—or spoke up. I let myself play that role and leaned into
the stereotype in a world that only accepted gayness if it was at
the service of a straight girl. While that was over 10 years ago
now, it seems many people still use the term to describe their
‘different’ friend. A person who just happens to be gay. And, in
an age where we are more aware of our language and harmful
tropes, it does not sit well with me that it is still used so widely.
We have finally waved goodbye to spinster, and f*g, so why
is GBF still a thing? I know most people use it endearingly
and without thinking. I know they are not being intentionally
malicious or meaning to offend. But it is, ultimately, a constant
reminder that gay people are ‘different’.
Personally, I do not care as much now and it does not
bother me because I finally can accept who I am and wear
the label with pride. But for the teenage boys, who like me,
alone at school, are hearing it every day, I worry. I fear for the
looks they receive as they are introduced, and my heart
breaks for the nervous smile they wear as the label weighs
heavy on them. I fear for their mental health and sense of self.
So if you have a GBF, remember he is far more than the
gay friend ‘behind’ you. And he just might need reminding of
Q
that occasionally.”

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137

you, you, you

A Guide to
Financial Abuse:
From Spotting
the Signs to
Getting Help
Data shows 59% of selfemployed Indian women
take financial guidance
from their spouses.
by Marianne Eloise

‘W

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

in relationships that are not abusive,
for those under the hold of a partner
who uses household finances as a
means of control, it can get far more
complicated. Christina Govier, Head
of Specialist Team at UK-based
charity, Surviving Economic Abuse,
says that, “Without access to the
economic resources required to leave
and live independently, victims stay
with abusers for longer and
experience more harm as a result.”
Here, we break down the
complexities of financial abuse,
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economic abuse, and what women
can do to escape, speaking to
survivors and experts.

What is Financial
Abuse?
While ‘economic abuse’ and
‘financial abuse’ may be used
interchangeably, it is important to
note that they are very different.
Christina said that financial abuse
includes things like coercing a
partner into debt, whereas economic
abuse is broader, covering key

Photographs: BOA CAMPBELL

hy didn’t she
leave sooner?’ is a
question that
many people ask
when someone is in an abusive
relationship. The question reveals an
overwhelming misunderstanding
when it comes to domestic abuse and
intimate partner violence, both of
which affect women
disproportionately. While there are
many complex reasons why it takes
women attempting to leave up to
seven times before they leave for
good, one massive reason is money
and other resources.
IndiaLends, an online personal
loan platform, revealed in their 2019
#WorkingStree survey that while over
76% women made their own
investment decisions, 59% of selfemployed women relied more often
on their spouses for financial
guidance compared to 48% of
salaried women. Over a third of
women also say that they would not
cope well financially if they were to
split. While this can be the case even

“As I was the one earning, it
didn’t feel (at first) like
I wasn’t in control of it.”

economic abuse to be
recognised as domestic
abuse. A cross-sectional
survey held in Mumbai’s
informal settlements by
peer-reviewed journal, BMC
Health, reported that 23%
of women had faced at least
one form of economic abuse
by either an intimate partner
or another family member.
“Economically abusive
behaviour can include
restriction of a person’s
income, prohibiting access
to their bank accounts, or
interfering with their ability
to work, misuse of personal
or joint funds, controlling
someone’s spending, or
incurring debts on a person’s
behalf without consent,”
says Ruth Davison, the
Chief Executive Officer at
Refuge. She adds, “If you
are experiencing any
behaviour which makes you
feel you are being denied
financial independence by
your partner, then it is likely
you are experiencing
economic abuse.”

resources such as housing, food,
and employment, all of which are
intertwined.

What is Economic
Abuse?
Economic abuse is misunderstood
and its effects are often
underestimated, but many people
are working hard to change that.
UK-based charity, Refuge,
recently campaigned alongside
others in the violence against
women and girls sector for
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139

you, you, you
Has Economic Abuse
Gotten More Prevalent?
During the coronavirus pandemic,
there has been a rise in domestic
abuse worldwide. As the strain of
economic pressures has also been
placed on many households, these
issues have coalesced to create a
surge in economic abuse, too.
According to Ruth, “1.6 million
adults saw economic abuse begin
during the COVID-19 pandemic
with redundancies and furlough
putting pressure on people’s
finances. This on top of existing
issues, such as the gender pay gap,
issues around accessing universal
credit, and little support for women
with no recourse to public funds put
many in a vulnerable position.”

What Are the Signs of
Economic Abuse?
Economic abuse is complex and
multifaceted, which is part of the
reason why women might not spot it
immediately. Christina told us that,
“Economic abuse is the control of a
person’s economic resources
through restriction, exploitation, or
sabotage.” This is about more than
just money and finances, extending
to other resources such as food,
housing, and employment.
According to her, “It commonly
occurs alongside other forms of
abuse and is part of a pattern of
behaviour called coercive control,
which limits a person’s choices and
ability to access safety.”
This could mean many things,
including, “A perpetrator
controlling what money a victim can
access, how much food they have in
the fridge, or what toiletries they
are ‘allowed’ to buy. Another tactic
used by perpetrators is to force
victims into debt—an effective and
lasting trap that drains what money
a victim does have available—
reducing their space to act.”

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

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The CEO and Deputy CEO of England-based
abuse charity, Ann Craft Trust, add that it can
often be a way of forcing someone to stay in a
relationship.

*Names have been changed

What Does Economic
Abuse Look Like?
Economic abuse can take many forms. Saisha*,
34, was in an economically-abusive relationship
with a partner for five years. She was in a huge
debt due to ill health and being unable to work,
leaving her vulnerable. A man she had not known
very well coerced her into a relationship,
promising that she could move in with him while
she found a job. However, when she found a job,
he quit his and made her pay all the bills, so that
Saisha couldn’t save any money if she ever
decided to leave.
Eventually, Saisha got an inheritance and
managed to pay off her remaining debt in secret.
While she finally got out, it took her time to
realise what was happening. “People tend to
assume financial abuse is withholding money. As
I was the one earning, it didn’t feel (at first) like I
was not in control of it,” she says, adding that her
partner was able to manipulate her early on by
not working, by putting all the bills in her name,
and by telling her repeatedly that she was “living
rent free”. Saisha self-deprecatingly says that she
feels stupid for what happened, but abusers are
manipulative: it is never your fault when
someone takes advantage of your situation.
For women who have children with their
partner, leaving can become even more
complicated. Tanisha*, 32, said that it took
around five years to realise that her and her
husband’s joint savings account was dwindling
despite her depositing money in it regularly. “He
would take my cards and use them or take cash
out. When I found out about the transactions, he
denied them to the extent of even signing
statements for the banks to investigate about the
said transactions,” she shares, adding that when
Tanisha asked what was happening, he just lied.
Tanisha researched about her options and
support payments for two years before deciding
to leave for good. She and her husband had two
very young children at that point, both below two
years of age, which motivated her to leave. “I
couldn’t keep going the way we were, it was not
healthy for my kids to see this as an example of a
marriage, I had to stop the cycle,” she says.

Luckily, Tanisha’s parents were supportive, but
they did try to make her stay in order to have a
‘complete’ family, particularly as she was
pregnant with their third child.

How Does Economic Abuse
Continue to Affect Women
Even After Leaving?
As Tanisha did not want to declare bankruptcy,
she received free services from a community
legal team for her separation, but she is still
paying off the debts and hasn’t been able to
receive any child support from her ex. They
have been officially separated since March
2016 and he has made zero attempts to contact
her or their children since 2017, so the courts
hold him responsible for 75% of the debts. But
Tanisha still has another four years left of
paying, which affects her ability to get a house
loan or a credit card.
However, Tanisha says that leaving him was
the best decision she ever made, and she is
proud of having paid a great deal of the debt
off alone. “I have been able to take my kids on
holidays every year, and most importantly,
provide a happy and healthy home for them,”
she says, adding, “I am strong, I am resilient,
and my girls see that. Yes it is hard, but we
love our little family, and there is no doubt in
my mind that I made the right decision.” She
offers advice to women in all abusive
relationships, “It will not get better. Get out
before it is too late and stop the cycle.”

How Can Women Escape the
Cycle of Economic Abuse?
If you are experiencing financial or economic
abuse, you should never be ashamed of asking
for support from family or friends. In addition
to that, or in the unfortunate event that you
are cut off from your support system, there are
always other resources out there.
In India, The Prajnya Trust in Chennai
provides legal aid and counselling to victims of
economic abuse, while NGOs such as
NCR-based Hindrise Social Welfare
Foundation offer legal recourse and financial
aid. Bengaluru-based organisation Buzz
Women focuses on making women the drivers
of economic prosperity, and they often
facilitate conversations around financial
Q
literacy and management for women.

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141

body love

Has the Pandemic
Screwed Our
Relationship
with Food?

Photographs: AMAN MAKKAR

Eating disorders are on the rise, and the last year-and-ahalf of lockdowns has further increased the pressure. So
what can you do if you are one of many who feels their
food habits are on a slippery slope? Ally Head reports...

body love
Having moved out
of a flat in an area
that she loved in
March last year, Jia
Sharma* found
herself living alone
and locked down.

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COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

much easier to conceal symptoms
and behaviours when you are not
frequently seeing other people.”

A COMPLEX ISSUE
The stress of living through a
pandemic led many to develop habits
consistent with disordered eating.
“Eating disorders are fundamentally
a coping mechanism,” explains
UK-based
psychologist
and eating
disorder
specialist
Dr Rachel
Evans.
“Lockdown also left a hole in many
people’s lives, and for some it was
filled by thoughts about food, body
image, and exercise. ”This turned
out to be a dangerous combination
for many. “Clients tell me dieting

and counting calories can be a
distraction from everything else
that’s going on,” Dr Rachel adds.
For some people who had a
pre-existing or underlying ED,
lockdown brought the issue to the
fore once again. “Eating disorders
are complex mental illnesses, so
lockdown wouldn’t be the sole
reason for someone developing
one,” Jess explains.
“However, the stress and
upheaval it caused could
have triggered eatingdisorder behaviours in
those who were already
unwell or vulnerable,
and even in those who considered
themselves to be in recovery,”
she says.
That’s what happened to
Amrita*, 21. Despite struggling
with disordered eating in the past,

“IT SPIRALLED INTO
SOMETHING THAT
CONTROLLED ME.”

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*According to research by the University of Glasgow; **Name has been changed

A

s chaos swirled, the
20-year-old began to exert
control over the only thing
she felt she could—her calories.
“The lockdown, and the pandemic
overall, made me feel like I was
losing my grip on my life, so
I challenged myself to see how
little I could eat,” Jia explains.
“I tracked my calorie intake in
a notebook. Sometimes, I was
euphoric about losing weight,
but more often than not I found
myself anxious and mentally
exhausted.”
The COVID-19 lockdowns
triggered a spike in mental health
issues—such as stress, anxiety, and
low mood—among adults. For some,
like Jia, these issues manifested as
eating disorders (EDs). Being unable
to work or see friends meant that
she saw lockdown as an opportunity
to “better” herself. “Unfortunately,
‘bettering myself’ translated to
starving my body and an obsession
with losing weight,” she says.
Jia is far from alone. Statistics from
UK-based eating disorder charity,
Beat, paint a worrying picture. In
November, they saw a 140% increase
in demand for their helpline services
compared with February 2020, prepandemic. As of December, they
had noted a 179% increase in people
contacting them via social media.
“Coping with extreme changes to
routines and living situations, as we
all have last year, has the potential to
be incredibly triggering,” says Jess
Griffiths, Beat’s clinical lead. “Eating
disorders thrive on secrecy, and it is

she says she felt “stable” when first
asked to stay at home in March
2020. “I coped well during the
first lockdown, but as restrictions
eased and the world started to
open up again, it all caught up
with me. I struggle with bulimia,
and it crept back into my life,
quickly getting worse,” she says.
“Autumn and winter felt endless.
All of my university tutoring was
online. I had no sense of routine,
no support, and zero structure.
I thought bulimia was helping me
to cope, but soon it spiralled into
something that controlled me.”

SPOT THE SIGNS
If you are worried that you or
someone you know may be
suffering from disordered eating,
a key signal to look out for is a
need for control. An individual

may feel they have to eat the same
things, the same number of calories,
or at the same times every day. Others
may get stuck in a cycle of bingeing
and purging. Dr Rachel has a number
of clients who started a ‘health kick’
during the first lockdown, which she
says then developed into an obsessive
way of controlling their food intake
and exercise regimes—and, in turn,
feelings of uncertainty. “They said that
at first it felt like a choice, but they
then became stuck in these habits,”
she explains.
Another red flag? Feeling emotional
distress or guilt around eating
certain foods believed to be “bad”,
says UK-based registered associate
nutritionist and nutritional therapist
Isa Robinson. She also cites “cutting
out food groups without medical or
religious reasons, and new obsessions
with ‘health’, ‘fitness’ or ‘wellness’
at the expense of everything else”
as concerning signs, and advises to
watch out for “small behavioural
changes like irritability, poor sleep and
concentration, and a reduced desire to
enjoy food or meals with others”.
Remember that eating disorders
can affect anyone—and they don’t
always present the way you might
expect them to. Amrita’s didn’t, but
she knew she needed help. “I’m still a
normal, healthy weight,” she explains.
“There’s a stereotype that everyone
with an eating disorder is underweight,
which isn’t the case. The majority of
people aren’t, but the stigma makes it
harder to justify, both to yourself and
others, that you need help.”

HELP IS OUT THERE
If any of these feelings or behaviours
apply to you, know this: you’re not
alone. The key thing, all three experts
stress, is getting help early. Dr Rachel
adds: “As someone who has recovered
from an eating disorder, I know that
it often feels like there is no-one who
understands what you’re going through,
but there are people who understand
how you’re feeling and why you’re stuck
in certain habits and cycles, and a full
Q
recovery is possible.”
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UNDERSTANDING EDS
Chelsea Kronengold of the
New York-based National
Eating Disorders
Association (NEDA)
explains the definitions
and signs of common EDS
ANOREXIA
One of the better-known eating disorders,
anorexia is primarily characterised by selfstarvation. The main symptoms include
eating too little, drastic weight loss, a fear of
gaining weight, and a fixation on size.

BULIMIA
Bulimia often involves a cycle of binge
eating, which is then counteracted by
behaviours aimed at preventing weight gain,
such as self-induced vomiting.

BINGE EATING DISORDER (BED)
If you have BED, you may eat a much larger
amount of food than normal in a short
window of time and find yourself trapped in a
dieting and bingeing cycle.

AVOIDANT RESTRICTIVE FOOD
INTAKE DISORDER (ARFID)
This refers to someone limiting the amount
and types of food they consume. Normally,
the individual won’t feel distress about their
body shape or size, but will instead be
uninterested in eating due to sensory issues
or fear of other consequences (like choking).

ORTHOREXIA
Orthorexia is described as an unhealthy
obsession with healthy eating. It is not
officially recognised as an eating disorder,
and without formal diagnostic criteria,
it is difficult to understand whether it’s a
standalone condition, a type of existing
eating disorder like anorexia, or a form of
obsessive compulsive disorder.

OTHER SPECIFIED FEEDING OR
EATING DISORDER (OSFED)
This term refers to any kind of feeding or
eating disorder that causes the individual
distress or impairment, but does not meet
the criteria for the eating disorders listed
above. Examples include purging disorder
and night eating syndrome.

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145

quiz
AN

Which Reality
Show Would
You Truly
Thrive on?

MOSTLY AS:
Too Hot To Handle
You long for your
person, so you are
(probably) here for
the right reasons. You
might also get pied
off or dumped from
the villa, but all is fair
in love and reality
TV, right?

It is an important
question for our time.
Walk this way to find
out where you could
get your 15 minutes of
fame (or, er, shame)...

STA

RT
B

HERE

C

£

A

B

C

146

2. You are saving up
for something luxe.
Which side hustle do
you take on to earn
extra cash?
Running the social
accounts of a local
business.
Renting out your spare
room on Airbnb. Yeah,
you have a spare room.
Selling beautifullymade DIY things,
because you are crafty
like that.

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

MOSTLY BS:

A

B

C

3. What is your go-to
weakness-that’ssecretly-a-strength
answer in a job
interview?
‘Sometimes I take on
more than I have time
for and stretch myself
too thin.’
‘I can be too honest
and direct when I give
feedback—but it’s only
because I hold
everyone to high
standards.’
‘I can get too caught up
in perfecting details
and forget to focus on
the big picture,
especially when it is a
project I really care
about.’

The Real
Housewives
of [Insert Your
Favourite
Franchise Here]
Some people need
challenges and
rivalries to achieve
satisfying levels of
drama, but your life is
already something
we’d binge watch.

W h e n T in d e r
just is n’t
c u t t in g it

A

B

C

4. Now, put on your
brutally-honest, selfawareness hat and
answer this: what is
actually your biggest
flaw?
I get intense FOMO
and have been known
to get a little extra
when insecurity
strikes.
People have accused
me of being selfcentred. I question it,
but whatever.
Er, honestly, kind of
the same as my
answer to the third
question.

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

A

B

C

5. Which petty regret
are you positive will
haunt you several
years from now?
The time I was 43
weeks deep in my ex’s
Instagram grid and
accidentally doubletapped.
Sharing an Instagram
Story that was a little
too intimate.
The almost-perfectlycrafted Tweet with a
glaring typo that I
didn’t notice until
someone had already
Retweeted it.

MOSTLY CS:
Bake Squad
Yeah, you have a
competitive streak,
but it only comes
out when you are
passionate about
something—
otherwise, you are
almost too chill for
television. Which
makes you the
perfect contestant
to come up with
your very own delish
innovation.

By: CARINA HSIEH; Photograph: SUSHANT CHHABRIA

A

1. It is time to
update your vision
board. What are
you manifesting?
Finding my
soulmate and then
travelling the world
together.
More Instagram
followers, a viral
Reel, and anything
else that will build
my personal
#brand.
Tapping into the
most-creative part
of my brain and
making something
tangible to share
with the world.

SWERS

PRIDE
LIST
Pride is more than a walk or marching down an avenue with
the rainbow flag. It is both personal and political. Even though
1947 brought along the promise of independence for all, one
section of the Indian society—the LGBTQIA+ community—still
continues to face discrimination, ridicule, and rejection.
Cosmo turns the spotlight on the trailblazers...those who
have proven by their own example that with derision comes
resilience, and with discrimination a fervent determination to
make change happen.

Text By: Simar Malhotra; Illustrations: Tanya Chaturvedi

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AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

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Alok Vaid-Menon

AUTHOR, SPEAKER, AND ACTIVIST
A quick look at Alok’s Instagram feed and you
will be stunned at their vision of a post-gender
world. They identify as a non-binary, trans feminine
person, and are an artist who employs poetry,
drag, fashion, and more, to subvert all norms that
society imposes—whether of gender, race, or
body diversity. Alok grew up in a small, white town
in Texas and lived in fear of showcasing their true
self. Declaring themself a sexual minority, when
they were already a racial minority, would only
have added to the bullying. Living in isolation, they
developed their art practice out of desperation,
more as a means to cope, than as a means to
create. Today, their being is activism. Their rules
are no rules.
Their latest book, Beyond The Gender Binary, on
one end, chronicles their experiences growing
up in these circumstances, and on the other,
responds to common notions about trans and
gender non-conforming people. “Gender,” as they
say, “is a story, not a word”.

Meera Sanghamitra

LAWYER AND TRANS AND DALIT
RIGHTS ACTIVIST
“It is not the transgender community but society
that needs to come out”, says Meera Sanghamitra,
a proud trans woman, lawyer, and social justice
activist. Meera knew from the age of six that she felt
like a woman, draping her mother’s sari and getting
photos clicked. But it was only at the age of 25,
after years of negotiating with her body, that she
formally came out to her mother and the world. In this
transitional journey, her mother’s support was her
biggest asset. Meera is the convener at the National
Alliance of People’s Movement, a pan-India collective
of mass movements for marginalised communities,
and is associated with the Telangana Hijra Intersex
Transgender Samiti. She believes that intervention
should take place at a young age and children should
be given the freedom to choose their expessions
instead of having to conform to gendered societal
norms. This way, the discomfort, confusion, and
trauma that trans children face will ease out while also
enabling an environment of equality and inclusivity.

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Laxmi Narayan Tripathi

TRANS RIGHTS ACTIVIST, SPEAKER, AND ACTOR
One of the most prominent activists in the country, Laxmi Narayan Tripathi
was assigned as ‘male’ at birth. Repeatedly abused by distant relatives and
acquaintances, and jeered at for her femininity, she grew up thinking she was
gay. But when Laxmi was introduced to the hijra community, she felt one with
them and announced her allegiance. She joined Ashok Row Kavi in the fight
against Section 377 and came out to the world on national television. Because
of the perceived class difference, Laxmi lost friends from both her drag and gay
communities after coming out as a hijra.
A Bharatanatyam dancer and choreographer, human rights activist, and an
international speaker, Laxmi was the first transgender person to represent Asia
Pacific in the UN President’s Office Civil Society Task Force on HIV/AIDS.
Her activism has taken diverse forms—from canvassing for the legalisation of
the third gender and demanding the government to include hijras in its National
AIDS Control Programme, to upending years of invisibility and marginalisation the
community has faced by starring in reality TV shows such as Bigg Boss and Sach
Ka Saamna, and chronicling her life in her autobiography, Me Hijra, Me Lakshmi.

Dutee Chand
ATHLETE

A champion on the track and in life,
Dutee Chand is not only one of the
fastest female athletes of India to have
represented the country at international
platforms, but also the first Indian athlete
to have come out publicly as lesbian. She
kept her relationship under wraps and only
announced her sexuality in 2019, after
Section 377 was annulled. Hailing from
a small weaver’s community in Odisha,
Dutee’s coming out was met with hostility
and wrath from her village while her family
threatened to disown her. Despite the
backlash, she maintained her stance.
Love and the freedom to choose whom
to love cannot be denied to anyone.
For her, living in hiding was worse than
having to face the consequences from
her community. Her coming out proved to
be a historic moment for India, because
very few people in the spotlight are out
and proud. The LGBTQIA+ community
needs more champions in positions of
power and visibility for acceptance and
assimilation to take place.

only in cosmo

Sushant Divgikr

SINGER AND PERFORMER
“I define myself as an eclectic artist, who is trying to create an equal playing field for everybody, regardless
of their gender, colour, or where they come from. I like to perpetuate the idea of art without barriers.
I believe that art should always come before gender, sexuality, and all the other boxes society puts us in...
because art is very pure and it cannot be maligned, judged, or labelled.
When I came out to my family, my father said to me, ‘You are not my gay child, or my trans child, you are
my child. I don’t have any conditions for loving you’. I have tried to pass this support forward to those
who have not been as fortunate as me. Everyone in the community calls me ‘mother’. My mother always
says that motherhood is an emotion, a behaviour. It is not biological. And I think with this quality, we have
the power of choosing our own family. I have been one of the first to do many monumental things—
being on the Forbes list, representing India at international platforms, winning awards. But my biggest
accomplishment has been performing on SaReGaMaPa dressed in drag, and becoming a reference point
for that queer kid in a remote village in India, who might have seen me and known that they are not alone.”

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Menaka
Guruswamy
SUPREME COURT
ADVOCATE

Maneka Guruswamy is a trailblazer
in her own right. A Senior Advocate
at the Supreme Court, an alumni of
University of Oxford, Harvard Law
School, and National Law School
of India University [Bengaluru], as
well as one of Time Magazine’s 100
Most Influential People of 2019,
she—along with her partner and
advocate Arundhati Katju—played
an instrumental role in overturning
Section 377 of the IPC. After having
lost the same case in 2013, they
decided to get LGBTQIA+ Indians to
file petitions in court in 2018 under
their own name, so that the judges
could see the lived experiences of the
community. After a winning verdict,
Maneka and Arundhati came out about
being in a relationship with each other,
making this not only a professional but
a personal victory for them.
Maneka has often claimed that Indian
society has been plagued with policing
love, whether inter-religious, intercaste, or between the same sex. But
every time, the judiciary has come to
the rescue of those oppressed. After
the decriminalisation of homosexuality,
Maneka and Arundhati are geared up
to fight for gay people’s right to marry.

Arundhati Katju
LAWYER

The face behind India’s historic judgement of clamping down on Section 377,
Arundhati Katju is an advocate at the Supreme Court of India. She’s an alumni of
Columbia Law School and National Law School of India University, and has been
a force to reckon with on many occasions—representing petitioners in 2013
when Section 377 was re-criminalised, fighting for a 19-year-old trans man who
was forcefully confined by his parents, and taking up the Jessica Lal murder
case. She was listed as Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People of 2019
along with her partner and lawyer, Maneka Guruswamy. Together with the five
original petitioners against Section 377, who came forward about their sexuality
in court despite knowing that they will be seen as criminals under the then law,
Arundhati also represented 20 young IIT students and alums to argue for their
demands to be recognised as full citizens of India. In her TEDx talk, Arundhati
has maintained that the stories of minorities, of those having undergone
suffering, are what bind us as citizens. These are the stories that can bring
about the biggest and smallest of changes in society, the law, and in the State.
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only in cosmo
Dr Trinetra Haldar

DOCTOR AND CONTENT CREATOR
If breaking the glass ceiling could be personified,
Dr Trinetra Haldar would be its poster child! As a
young boy, she would dress up in saris and wear
make-up—an act considered ‘cute’ only till a certain
age. She was constantly bullied in school, with
homophobic slurs thrown at her frequently. Even
the notion of being called gay didn’t feel quite right.
Being a ‘man’ itself felt wrong. When she came out
as queer, her parents remained in denial and the
bullying only increased. But she channelised all the
pain and anxiety from the trauma into educating
herself and became Karnataka’s first trans woman
surgeon. In February 2020, she underwent a
gender confirmation surgery. Dr Trinetra’s own
experience of transitioning opened her eyes to the
gaps in medicine for transgender people. Through
her profession and activism, she hopes to change
people’s perspective of the transgender community.
In a country where majority of transgender people
are disowned, and/or forced to quit their education,
she is a role model the community needs to be able
to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Vikram Seth
AUTHOR

“To not be able to love the one you love is to have
your life wrenched away.” Author of the one of the
longest novels ever written in the English language,
A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth grew up in a progressive,
liberal family. Even then, because of societal
prejudice, he had a hard time understanding himself
as a bisexual man. Before coming out publicly, he
had come out through his writing with love poems
addressed to both men and women. Although coming
out to his parents was a gradual journey—with some
pushback from them because it was criminal to be
bisexual or gay at the time—one significant moment
was when he openly talked about his sexuality on
a BBC programme, co-produced by his sister.
Vikram had been a vocal proponent of
decriminalisation of homosexuality and one of the
main co-signatories of an open letter to the Supreme
Court to overturn Section 377 in 2006. He has taken
issue with the fact that all too often, homosexuality is
viewed solely from the lens of sex, and not from
a place of love, emotion, and other intangible
aspects that make a relationship.

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Aditya
Bandopadhyay
LAWYER AND
LGBTQIA+ ACTIVIST

Aditya Bandopadhyay has represented the
community in court on several occasions.
In 2001, he helped draft the petition to
challenge Section 377 in the Delhi High
Court, which ultimately led to the 2009
judgement that decriminalised homosexuality.
He has worked extensively in the HIV/AIDS
sphere in South Asia, alongside the Naz
Foundation and the Lawyer’s Collective.
Aditya had been exploring his sexuality since
he was 12 years old, and never did he feel
he was doing something wrong. There was
no reason for shame because he did not
believe in labels. Aditya did what came most
naturally to him. It was only in college, when
the heterosexist society began to box him
within a label, that he began to question the
notions surrounding ideas of masculinity and
femininity and how one’s sexual behaviour
makes or breaks these rigid assumptions.

Shree Ghatak

ACTIVIST AND ACTOR
Harassed and molested in public transport, and ridiculed by her peers for
her femininity, Shree Ghatak grew up confused and lonely. Her life changed
for the better once she switched schools, and was formally introduced to
art and dance. There she met her then childhood friend and now husband,
Sanjay [Muhury]. For years, their relationship was mocked as Shree
was still a woman in a man’s body. But as soon as she underwent sex
reassignment surgery, Shree married Sanjay in a social wedding ceremony.
In 2017, once her transition certificate was received and her government
identification cards were amended, they were legally wedded, making
Shree the first trans woman to be legally married in West Bengal. She is
also one of the first trans actors, and has played the role of a queer person
in Ram Kamal’s Season’s Greetings. Unlike most trans folks, Shree has
been lucky to find support in her mother and her partner. To pay it forward,
she founded the Troyee Foundation, an organisation working to improve
the quality of life of trans people, women, and other marginalised groups.

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only in cosmo
Anand Grover

ACTIVIST AND LAWYER
Anand Grover has been at the forefront of some of India’s most pressing cases of gender
discrimination, sexual minority oppression, and labour rights. A senior lawyer and an activist, he has
been an ardent ally of the community, taking up HIV-related cases pro bono. He founded the Lawyers
Collective to empower the marginalised communities of India through law. During his work with HIV+
people, Anand found that Section 377, although applicable to both homosexual and heterosexual
couples, was being used to harass and extort from gay individuals. This, in turn, kept them from even
seeking appropriate medical care. Anand reached out to the Naz Foundation, and they filed a PIL in
the Delhi High Court. With assistance from members of the Lawyers Collective, he represented the
Naz Foundation in 2001 when the original petition against Section 377 was filed. After fighting the
legal battle for eight years, in 2009, they emerged victorious in the Delhi High Court. Even though this
victory seemed short-lived because of the 2013 judgement, later in 2018 justice eventually prevailed.

Akkai Padmashali

TRANSGENDER ACTIVIST, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER,
AND SINGER
Akkai Padmashali is a transgender activist, speaker, political leader, singer, and
now an author. She is the first transgender person in Karnataka to be awarded
the Rajyotsav Award, to have her marriage registered legally, and to adopt a
child. In her autobiography, Akkai narrates the trials of transgender individuals,
but rejects society’s charity and sympathy towards the community. She believes
that transgender issues need to be looked at from a lens of constitutional rights
rather than emotionality. She founded Ondede, an organisation dedicated to
advocate for trans and queer rights. Like many trans people, Akkai grew up
confused and suicidal, often beaten for her effeminate tendencies. For four
years, she was in the flesh trade, and although that experience brought trauma,
it also introduced her to many more like her. From that experience to being
invited to the swearing in ceremony of the Chief Justice of India, Barack Obama’s
townhall, and International Bar Association to talk about sexual minorities and
their rights, Akkai has constantly set herself as an example of possibility.

Ruth Vanita

ACADEMIC, AUTHOR, AND ACTIVIST
We often hear that homosexuality is a Western phenomenon. Academic, author,
and activist, Ruth Vanita subverts this notion and emphasises that homoeroticism,
in fact, has had a long history in India and that it was homophobia that the Western
colonial rule brought with it. The founding Co-Editor of Manushi and professor of
English literature, she was interested in women, gender, and sexuality from an early
age. When she heard a feminist lesbian speaker at the age of 21, it lit up a light bulb
in her mind and made her realise that she needed to gather more information on
and share her views on homosexuality. She began collecting newspaper clippings
of female couples who married or committed joint suicide, with notes asking to be
buried together. Her books Love’s Rite: Same-Sex Marriages in Modern India, and
Gender, Sex, And The City: Urdu Rekhti Poetry 1780-1870, along with her recent
novel, Memory Of Light, all explore the realities of same-sex relationships in India
today as well as in the sexually-fluid times before the British rule.

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Gauri Sawant

TRANSGENDER ACTIVIST
Gauri Sawant was born a boy in a
machoistic police man’s house. After
losing her mother at a young age, her
femininity drew even more insult and
abuse. She left her home at the age of
18 and found solace in the Humsafar
Foundation. Sawant founded Sakhi
Char Chowgi to promote awareness
about safe sex and provide resources
to transgender people. Later, she
adopted Gayatri, a young child who
had lost her mother, a sex-worker,
to AIDS. Through her example, Gauri
has proven that motherhood is not
biological but emotional.
Even though the LGBTQIA+
community is not granted adoption
rights, Gauri has fought all odds to
raise Gayatri as her own and was
the first transgender person to file
a petition in the Supreme Court for
transgender adoption and marriage
rights. Today, Gauri is one of the most
prominent transgender activists in
India. She was one of the petitioners in
the National Legal Services Authority
(NALSA) case that recognised
transgenders as the third gender.

Jasbir Puar
AUTHOR

“I was around 30 years old when my mother asked me whether
I was dating women over a phone call. I was taken aback, but
realised she was doing me a favour and came out to her. This
was back in 1997 in San Francisco, and it was a time of glorious
queer mayhem. We were coming of age during the throes of the
AIDS pandemic and revelling in the proliferation of queer spaces—
lesbian bars, nightclubs, film festivals, drag performances, book
readings et al. When I look back on those years, it strikes me that
I didn’t have a sense of how precarious things really were for us.
I wrote Terrorist Assemblages in the aftermath of 9/11 [terrorist
attack in the US], where we saw an acceleration of what I call
‘homonationalism’, in which largely white, gay, monied groups
consolidated to use colonial saviour discourse about homophobia
in the Middle East to justify the US’s pro-war agendas.
When I think of what all is left to be done for and in the community,
I can’t separate being queer from any of the important political
movements of our time. Whether it is terrorism, the liberation of
Palestine, the defunding of the police, challenging anti-blackness,
casteism, or Islamophobia... These are all queer, intersectional
issues and the LGBTQIA+ community has a stake in them.”
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155

upfront
Grace Banu

DALIT AND TRANSGENDER RIGHTS
ACTIVIST, AND WRITER

Vivek Shraya

MULTIDISCIPLINARY ARTIST
“I have come out multiple times as bi, queer, trans. And I
think one of the most challenging aspects of coming out
is the lack of recognition that ‘coming out’ is an ongoing
process. These multiple identities and experiences,
particularly of oppression, have inspired me to create
art that puts the spotlight on social issues and injustices.
But I have often felt that my work has also been a
catalyst for the identities and person I have grown into.
I have complicated feelings about Pride festivities [in
Canada] because I have found them not to be inclusive
for those of us who aren’t white and male. I hope that
society at large would understand that diversity makes
the world beautiful...that we aren’t all the same, and
that is a great thing. We have a long way to go on this
journey. And I am often not hopeful about the future, but
then I think of some of my informal mentors who have
seen change happen at an even slower pace than I have.
They have witnessed the same cycles, conversations,
and disasters take place again and again, and they still
find ways to show up. They constantly inspire me to
be there for the community. There’s this idea that you
have to love and accept yourself before anyone can,
but I had to fall in love with other queers to fall in love
with my own queerness. To those figuring it out, I want
to say that there is no right or one way to be queer or
trans. Embrace exploration and experimentation. It is
important to find the right way for you.”

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“Growing up, I knew I was a woman and that my body
and gender didn’t match. From being ostracised by
my classmates for my caste and gender in school,
to being admitted into a mental asylum by my family
in order to ‘treat my illness’, I have had a traumatic
childhood. But through it all, what kept me going was
the hope of living a free and full life with my true identity.
In the asylum, I would read Baba Saheb Ambedkar and
Karl Marx’s books. That opened my mind to societal
oppression and the need for a separate category of
reservation for the trans community.
Although Pride started out as a movement for the
queer community to unite in protest against attack,
in India, Pride is a privilege only for a few. Our
community is still wrought with casteism, transphobia,
Islamophobia, racism, and colourism. The Dalit and
Adivasi, non-binary, gender non-conforming, trans
individuals across India are the most vulnerable
because we are doubly oppressed by both gender and
caste. With the Trans Rights Collective, my activism
has been about increasing inclusivity by providing
educational and employment opportunities. For
progress, we need the Pride-circle to show solidarity
towards our issues. Their silence is the greatest
apartheid. I want all young people to know that we,
and other activists, are all working very hard to create
a safe space for you. Don’t give up because our
liberation is not too far.”

Priya Arora

HOST, QUEERING DESI PODCAST, AND FILM CRITIC
“I identify as non-binary and queer, but when we talk about who we are, it is always
a work in progress. As a teenager, for a long time, I knew there was something
different about me. Ironically, it was when Dostana released and I couldn’t get my
eyes off Priyanka Chopra [Jonas] that I finally felt I had an explanation for why I had
been so restless all along—I liked girls. One of the hardest parts for me was not
having any relatable role models to look up to. I founded the podcast, Queering
Desi, to amplify voices of South Asian queer people who don’t get to tell their
stories. It was to understand them as people, and normalise those narratives.
And through this, for straight folks to realise that our stories are just like theirs and
their support is imperative to take our cause forward. Even though we have come
a long way, any South Asian social space such as a wedding or a temple still
feels uncomfortable for me to walk into, because of the way I dress and present
myself. But the queer community has rallied around me and my wife, time and
time again. We have found anchors in each other but also in the community that
has never failed to be there for us.”

Noor Enayat

PARTNER AT PEEPUL
CONSULTING
“For me, Queer Pride is not just a song and
dance march; it is a joyous rebellion,
a moment when we all come together to
protest peacefully against the shackles of
patriarchy and of forced heterosexuality.
I started coming out when I was 18 years old.
Given the patriarchal structure of our society,
and its focus on ‘straight culture’, I kept on
saying I am bisexual because it helped me fit in
more, when, in fact, I was a lesbian. Although,
I am against the pressure society puts on
coming out, I do think that being out and open
is a service to the community because it
declares that you are not alone. Had I known
someone who was queer back then, it would
have made things easier for me to come to
terms with how different I was.
In a country like ours, the LGBTQIA+ individuals
are always on the back foot. We don’t respect
people for their chosen identity or make space
for the real them to lead and be at the forefront.
We don’t believe in gender-neutral bathrooms
or have conversations around making an allinclusive workforce. There is an incredible
amount that needs to be done and when that
seems overwhelming, I always think of what my
father says, ‘Umeed pe dunia kayam hai’ (hope
is what keeps the world going).”

only in cosmo
Sakshi Juneja

CO-FOUNDER, GAYSI FAMILY
“I define myself as someone with empathy. And I think
Queer Pride also stems from that same sense of empathy
towards oneself, along with one another. I was lucky and
privileged—coming out as queer was not an arduous
journey for me. There was no ‘coming to terms’ with what
I felt, because I didn’t have any vocabulary for or
knowledge of what having intimate feelings for someone
of the same sex entailed. So I just went with what I felt,
unquestioningly. But the biggest challenge for me was
finding a community and other queer folks. At the time,
there were grassroot level support groups but no social
groups for queer women. So, Gaysi Family—a blog
for English-speaking queer people to talk about their
queerness and how they navigate their everyday lives—
was launched in 2008 to fill in this gap. Today, Gaysi is
quite a reflection of what’s going on in the community and
has changed with the evolving language and sensibilities
around gender and sexuality. Our goal has always been
to sensitise people in a manner that is easily understood,
to make the content as relatable as possible for people
of the community and others alike. Because one doesn’t
need to always walk in another’s shoes to respect their
journey. Sometimes, it is enough for people to just
understand the emotions.”

Alex Mathew

DRAG PERFORMER AND
ARTIST MANAGER
“I am a queer man who has been performing as drag
queen Maya or Mayamma. I like to think that Maya
yanked Alex out of the closet. My first drag performance
was in September, 2014, and I came out to my parents
a month later, through an e-mail. It took them four years
to accept me...it was a long, tumultuous journey, but I
took the onus of educating my parents.
Every year during the Pride month, my inbox is filled with
invitations, but celebrating us for a month, oftentimes
in manners that seem only tokenistic, is not enough.
After Section 377 was repealed, sex education should
have followed. That never happened, so people
continue to remain as unaware as before. Pride, for
me, is being able to live freely—whether that is walking
out of my house dressed in drag or talking about my
sexuality openly without the fear of homophobic slurs
being thrown at me. To contribute in my own way, with
my work, whether through sensitisation training in
corporates, TEDx talks in colleges, or my art as a drag
performer, I raise awareness about LGBTQIA+ issues.
Mental health challenges, even after coming out, are
very real and everyone who can afford it, must go to
therapy to overcome the years of trauma we have gone
through. It is important to give yourself time, and to be
kind, bold, and hopeful.”

Anjali Ameer
ACTRESS

Anjali Ameer splashed rainbow on Indian Cinema and became
the first trans woman to play a leading role in the Malayalam
film Peranbu. Born as Jamsheer Ameer in a conservative
Muslim family in Kerala, Anjali realised she felt like a woman
when she was in the 10th grade. When her family refused to
accept her, she ran away from home and sought refuge with
the transgender community in Coimbatore. But she knew
her fate could not be determined by society and wanted to
live by her own truth. Anjali worked in call centres and beauty
salons to save up for her sex reassignment surgery. When
she started out as a model, no one was aware of her gender
identity. Today, she is more than a transgender icon and a
living example of the adage, ‘If there’s a will, there’s a way’.

Sridhar Rangayan

FILMMAKER, AND FESTIVAL
DIRECTOR, KASHISH
“I came out as gay to myself in my late 20s. A friend
thrust Bombay Dost—India’s first gay magazine—
into my hands and for the first time, what used to be
considered a hidden deed was out for all to read. From
horrification to feeling profound transformation, I realised
that my personal had to become political.
For years, I, and my entire generation, lived in fear of
being ostracised because homosexuality was not even
whispered about in our time. Our biggest challenge was
to create pathways that never existed for the community.
Whether by making award-winning films about LGBTQIA+
issues—that faced challenges to be screened in India—
or hosting KASHISH Mumbai International Queer Film
Festival (South Asia’s largest LGBTQIA+ film festival), it
has been an uphill journey for me. But my conviction in
the cause, as well as my partner of 26 years, Saagar
Gupta, have both helped me stand my ground. My
goal, now, is to become a facilitator and use my skills
and resources to encourage more queer folks to bring
alive their stories, so that diverse perspectives of the
community can be celebrated. I always tell people that
‘coming out’ doesn’t have to be a radical statement.
It can be a gentle process of conversations instead
of confrontations. We have taken so long to figure
ourselves out, it is only fair we give others some time as
well. It is important for us to be as sensitive to others as
we expect them to be to us.”

Kalki Subramaniam

TRANSGENDER ARTIST, ACTIVIST, AND
FOUNDER, SAHODARI FOUNDATION
“I came out to my family as a trans woman at the age of 14. It
has been challenging getting my loved ones to call me by my new
name and use ‘she’ and ‘her’ pronouns. But more than that, the
process of changing my name in all my official documents has
been gruelling! Once I came out and was accepted by my family,
I had the courage to fight back against all prejudices.
My work with the TransHearts Art Project at Sahodari Foundation,
and on the films that support and surround the dignity, social
justice, and equal place of transgender people. What I do is not
work, it is a revolution of changing people’s lives.
I wish more people understood that we deserve dignified treatment
and inclusion everywhere. I wish people would see us as humans
and respect our talents and contributions rather than labelling
us for our sexual orientation or gender identity. My new book,
We Are Not The Others, aims to steer the discussion forward
by presenting a collection of real-life conversations, poems, and
monologues about transgender lives. To those who are in the
closet or figuring it out, I want to say, stand up for yourself, value
yourself, and never be afraid to stand up against injustice.”

Anwesh Sahoo

MR. GAY WORLD INDIA 2016, AND
TECHNICAL AND NFT ARTIST
“I remember, when I came out at the age of 16, I was not very proud of
being gay. Even though those I came out to, like my sister, were accepting
of me, I wasn’t. But the more I read about being queer, and the more
references I found from all across the world—such as Freddie Mercury
and Sushant Divgikr—the more I came to love and accept myself.
Along with role models, acceptance comes with conversation. As a
fashion illustrator, I use my work as a tool to change the conversation
around LGBTQIA+ issues and draw more queer, femme, and non-binary
individuals to make them mainstream. At a societal level, we have
received a lot of performative allyship with queer people being invited to
corporate events. While this is important, we need active hiring of trans
identities, collaborative efforts with NGOs, and constructive on-ground
work to truly make change happen. The majority needs to understand that
we are not sex-seeking maniacs or the caricatures we are portrayed as in
movies. We are real people who deserve the right to dignity and respect.
There was a point when I was so low, I wanted to end my life. At the time,
my father gave me The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and told me that ‘the
life we have is a gift, and there are a lot of good things to look forward to if
we persevered’. That’s what I would say to all those who are struggling—
take your time. Don’t be impulsive. There is light at the end of this tunnel,
and I am an example of that.”

160

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

Manvendra Singh Gohil

CHAIRPERSON, LAKSHAY TRUST, FORMER PRINCE
OF RAJPIPLA, AND HUMAN RIGHTS ACTIVIST
“From forced marriage to brain surgery, and conversion and shock
therapies, my family went to all lengths to ‘fix’ me. And when all these
‘treatments’ didn’t work, I was disowned and disinherited from the royal
family. But through it all, Ashok Row Kavi and the words of Mahatma Gandhi
kept me inspired and going. Coming out, at the end of the day, is about
honesty and living your truth—and I identify as a gay man.
I often joke about acceptance of homosexuality being a solution to India’s
burgeoning population problem, but I do think homosexuality can be looked
at from quite a logical lens, as inclusive adoption rights can provide a home
to so many orphaned children. It is nature’s way of creating a balance. With
the Lakshay Trust, along with creating a platform for LGBTQIA+ issues to
be discussed and addressed, we have partnered with the Government of
India to work on the HIV/AIDS epidemic. We also work with wives of gay
men, help people with mental health issues and domestic violence, animal
rights, heritage conservation, and more. What gives me hope is that young
people are interested in the issues the LGBTQIA+ community faces, and
when the young care, then the future can only look bright.”

Harish Iyer

EQUAL RIGHTS ACTIVIST
“Pride, for me, is liberation... From thoughts
and practices that have imprisoned us, from
homophobic and transphobic laws, from regressive
mindsets that have held our progress back.
Although, today, there is social value attached
to acceptance, as LGBTQIA+ people, we are
sometimes stuck between the two extremes of
non-acceptance and over-acceptance—in which
people treat us like we have come from outer
space. People need to realise that queerness is
not a fad or a fashion. It is something we live with.
Sometimes we grapple with it and other times we
are unable to accept it. The latter comes from
the way we feel society perceives us. We need to
move away from conversations of tolerance and
acceptance to simply understand that we are a part
of society. Only then can we be afforded the same
liberties that heterosexuals of the country enjoy.
I have spent my entire childhood questioning
myself, and what I feel. So, the ‘Q’ in LGBTQIA+
is essentially ‘questioning’ for me. If I could say
something to my younger self, it would simply
be that it is okay...what you are feeling is okay.
Sometimes that’s the only reassurance one needs.”
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

161

only in cosmo
Keshav Suri

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, THE LALIT SURI
HOSPITALITY GROUP,
AND FOUNDER, KESHAV SURI
FOUNDATION
“I am a gay man, who was fortunate to be able to live
his truth. I have first-hand experience of how closeted
or cornered one can feel, how many doors close simply
on the basis of our identity and choice to love. Through
The Lalit and the Keshav Suri Foundation we are trying to
embrace and empower the community by hiring extensively
across various positions and roles in our hotels, hosting
job fairs, reserving F&B scholarships for queer folks, and
providing mental health support to LGBTQIA+ people.
After the reading down of Section 377, the law told us
we are not criminals, but that does not mean kids are not
bullied in school, or parents always accept queer children,
or organisations embrace trans folks. Inherent biases
against the community still exist. Insurance, medical
facilities, marriage equality...the list is long when it comes
to even basic avenues. A lot of our time and effort
goes into finding safe spaces and acceptance. Despite
this, the love and acceptance I have received from my
community and my progressive team have helped me
stay positive. I kissed Cyril [Feuillebois] outside the
Supreme Court after the 2018 judgement, and the
photograph made it to so many national dailies. That just
shows our society is ready to accept us, to embrace the
change my community offers.”

Anjali Gopalan

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR AND FOUNDER,
THE NAZ FOUNDATION INDIA TRUST
“I define myself as one of those lucky people who could do what most
people only dream of wanting to do. Whether it was my work with the
LGBTQIA+ community, people with HIV, or animals, I have been truly
blessed to be able to work on all these issues close to my heart.
I founded the Naz Foundation with the aim of HIV prevention and
the one thing I was convinced about was that if people didn’t value
themselves, they would not protect themselves. When I started
working with the LGBTQIA+ community 25 years ago and took
cases of abuse to the National Human Rights Commission, I was told
that homosexuality was a criminal act, so they couldn’t accept our
complaints. That’s when I knew that the first step towards equality
had to be the reading down of Section 377.
The 2018 verdict has been a tiny step in this saga, and much has
to be done for the community to get the rights that the rest of India
takes for granted. In terms of societal acceptance, I think families
have a huge role to play and their acceptance of their children can
make all the other pieces fall into place.”

Rituparna Bohra

CO-FOUNDER,
NAZARIYA QUEER
FEMINIST RESOURCE GROUP
“I identify myself as an indigenous, queer,
feminist woman, and a lover of my cats.
And funnily enough, for someone who
comes from a community-oriented,
tiny village in Assam with homosexual
prejudices, I came out to the world on
national television when the Delhi High
Court judgement was announced in 2009.
That’s how my parents found out. I didn’t
visit my village for two years after that. The
Pride Movement’s inception was sparked
by intersectionality—an entire community
showing up in support of a black, trans
woman. But the LGBTQIA+ movement in
India is still dominated by the mainland,
and there is no space for racial or caste
minorities. Over the past 15 years, as
Co-Founder and now the Co-Director
of Nazariya, I have worked on building
capacities in organisations to make
LGBTQIA+ lives more visible, carried out
crisis intervention, filed petitions in courts,
and financially supported queer and trans
people. I hope that people look at our
issues from a queer/minority lens instead
of the lens of the majority and then try to
fill in the gaps. More than empowerment,
we need understanding attitudes
and acceptance.”

Aman Giri

HEAD COORDINATOR, NAZARIYA
“I realised I was gay in the second grade, when I found myself
being attracted to other boys. But because of the shame
associated with it, I never explored my feelings. Our society
enforces gendered codes of behaviour, and deviating from those
brings about isolation and fear.
As the Head Coordinator for Nazariya, I have worked on many
projects to raise awareness about the community, emphasising
on intersectional minority identities, which often get left behind.
As an activist, I know that the community is out and proud in urban
settings. But the rural socio-economic environment, the villages
of India are units of violence for LGBTQIA+ people, where there is
no social or financial support. Decriminalisation is a crucial step,
but government policies need to tackle complex socio-economic
issues to prevent honour killings and rapes from happening.
Very often, because of the environment and the people that queer
people grow up around, they internalise a sense of negativity
within themselves. Their behaviour, identity, and who they are have
always been reprimanded. So to those struggling, I want to say
that you are not wrong. You are not less. You are enough and have
no reason to try to fit into the boxes society forces you into.” Q
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

163

PROMO

REDEFINING MALDIVIAN
LUXURY
Travel Writer Vishakha Talreja recently spent time at the Finolhu Baa Atoll,
Maldives and discovered how this resort has taken the luxury experience a notch up.

W

ith my feet in the sand, I
was staring at one of the
most spectacular sunsets
against gleaming turquoise water and
the whitest secluded sandbank. The
trance was broken when an affable
server in a cool t-shirt that read ‘Crab
Shack’ handed me the menu of what
probably is the best restaurant in the
Maldives- Crab Shack, located at the
luxury resort Finolhu Maldives. What
followed was a memorable seafood
meal.
So here I am penning down my
experience of the Finolhu Baa Atoll,
Maldives and I have a trunkful of
such once-in-a-lifetime moments.

Probably words wouldn’t even justify
the experience that is Finolhu.
The paradisiacal islands of the
Maldives need no introduction
as they have become the go-to
destination for Indians amid the
pandemic. The resort islands of the
Maldives, known for their balmy
beaches and luxury experiences, are
the soul savers for those battered by
the aftermath of the Covid pandemic.
After one RTPCR test, four-hour flight
and thirty-minute seaplane ride, I
could finally breathe like a free bird
at the Finolhu Baa Atoll and that too
maskless! Was I dreaming? Maybe I
was because everything that followed

OTION

from the moment I stepped at this
luxury resort was like a dream.
Maldives spoils you for choice when it
comes to choosing your resort island.
I chose right spending a week at the
Finolhu Maldives located at the Baa
Atoll, a UNESCO protected biosphere
reserve, where the color of the corals
will charm you and sea creatures will
entice you with their magic.
Amid all the spectacular natural
bounty, technology was used only
to pamper guests. As we waited for
our seaplane to arrive at the plush
exclusive lounge of Finolhu, a butler
handed me over a bar code, scanning
which I was connected to the
concierge service of the resort. Need
a buggy to go to a restaurant? Room
service? Make a reservation at the
spa? Every message was promptly
answered on whatsapp making our
stay hassle-free. It was like living
a modern fairy tale, albeit with a
whatsapp concierge being
your knight-in-shining-armour.
The resort island houses 125
private villas across categories.

Our Sunset Ocean Pool Villa had a
swanky bathroom, gorgeous infinity
pool and an outdoor deck where
we practically stayed through the
trip. The resort also features a twobedroom ‘Rockstar Villa’ located at
the end of the jetty, where everything
is larger-than-life. I wasn’t surprised
to hear Hollywood and Bollywood
celeb names who booked themselves
a rockstar villa when they wanted the
best holiday for themselves.
If we were not chasing dolphins
on a yacht or snorkelling from our
villa, we were busy discovering
and experiencing the gastronomic
delights that abound at Finolhu.
The all-day dining restaurant Beach
Kitchen served Asian, Italian and
Maldivian cuisine. The modern
Japanese restaurant Kanusan, with
its breathtakingly beautiful setting,
is where we could savour the best of
sushi and lobster as the ocean breeze
caressed our cheeks. Another great
dinner option was the Arabian Grill
that serves North African and Middle
East cuisine. A grand meal with
authentic flavours of the Middle East
is another favourite food memory I

have of Finolhu. And then of course
I have already spoken about the very
dreamy Crab Shack that serves lipsmacking food in a mesmerizing
setting.
Are you even on a vacation if you
don’t unwind at the spa? Jet-lag
massage followed by steam and dip
in the plunge pool at the blissful Felhi
Spa is just what the doctor ordered.
While I spent time at the spa or just
unwinding with cocktails at the
Beach Club, my five-year-old had a
blast at the Oceaner’s Club, which
I am happy to report is one of the best
kids club I have come across. My
little explorer had a very interesting
itinerary that included pizza making,
kite flying, treasure hunts and variety
of outdoor activities.
Days would be marked with rollicking
splashes guests made while sipping
cocktails at the common pool, long
strolls on the beach and nights spent
dancing with gay abandon to the
cool DJ tunes or swinging away as
aerial shows and circus enthralled
visitors from the world over with their
performances. But I would go back
to Finolhu for the cool white party
where everyone dressed, yes you
guessed that, in white, making their
way to the beach stretch where Crab
Shack is located. The affable General
manager Marc Reader personally
greets guests, the bartender makes
you best of rosé sangrias and DJ
tunes are belted out from the top of a

street truck.
And why should you visit
Finolhu? For its enviable location,
impeccable service and great food.
And because you have a chance
to stay in a bubble that can be
booked for a night and experience
an isolated holiday star-gazing,
watching the sunset and sunrise
with a private butler on call. Just
the two of you in your beach bubble,
once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Finolhu Baa Atoll redefines luxury.

Follow @bazaarindia on
INSTAGRAM
for the latest in fashion, beauty and celebrity news.

FASHION & BEAUTY
WHAT TO WEAR THIS VERY MINUTE

Sparkling
Creatures of
the Night
Don’t wait for the party season to roll out your evening finery. Right now is as good
a time as any to cover yourself in fancy finds to lift both your style and spirits.
Creative Direction and Styling: Who Wore What When
Photographs: Omkar Chitnis

Jacquard Morocco
Blouse, `4,500, and
Quilted Jacquard
Morocco Mini Skirt,
`6,000, both Pink
Porcupines; clearstrap stilettos, Zori
World, `3,199

Jacquard
Morocco
Blouse, `4,500,
and Quilted
Jacquard
Morocco Mini
Skirt, `6,000,
both Pink
Porcupines;
clear-strap
stilettos, Zori
World, `3,199

Metallic draped
dress, Amit
Aggarwal,
`65,000;
pumps,
Christian
Louboutin, price
on request

Limited-edition,
embellished,
animal print
dress, Falguni
Shane
Peacock, price
on request

Zirconium gown,
Pankaj & Nidhi,
`1,85,000;
Emerge Ring,
Itee, `80,000

Metallic draped
dress, Amit
Aggarwal,
`65,000

Metallic corset
gown,
Nirmooha,
`24,000

Asymmetric
sequinned suit,
Jewellyn
Alvares,
`18,000

Top and veil, both
H&M; skirt,
Kalmanovich; ring,
Sokolov

STREET
STYLE 2.0

The subculture of taking your sartorial finest to the streets is gaining
traction this season. And we have lined up some inspiration, featuring
a mix of luxury and high-street pieces, to get in on the trend.
Photographs: Nikolay Efimtsev; Styling: Emno Kozlova

Dress, Prada;
collar, stylist’s own

Dress and beret, both Dior; earrings and ring, both Swarovski

Top and leggings, both Chanel

Suit and blouse,
both TJ Collection;
shoes, Pantanetti;
bag, Coccinelle

Dress and bag, both Gucci; watch, NIKA

Dress, Manila Grace;
top, Lime; shoes,
Pantanetti via noone.
ru; necklace,
Sokolov; bicycle,
Electra Zelda

Make-Up: Denis Kortashov using Shiseido; Hair: Konstantin Borchininov (R + Co Russia); Model: Anastasia
Mosyakina at Lilas Model Management; Assistant Stylist: Polina Bogatyreva; Producer: Anastasia Fridman

beauty

Mani
ureGoals.
c
i
n
Ma
#
e
v
e
i

t inspo for the
d
grea
a
ys
me
y
o
so
u

to
nt
wa

de your digit
s
para
a
nd
a
ch

Photographs: Adrian Ruiz;
Text: Meghna Sharma

p

Time

We ha
ve l
ine
du

‘I DREAM OF AQUA’
Is there anything better than a shade that
reminds you of the ocean?! Didn’t think
so. We don’t really need to sell you on
this shade...but if you are opting for one
from the ‘blue’ fam, saving it for days
when you’re wearing something neutral
will do you a solid. Geddit, geddit?

beauty
LINE IT UP
If it is your first time dabbling
in nail art, start slow by using a
pastel shade as base. Then take
two contrasting colours (they
could be pastel or neon) and
apply them on the corners, as
seen in the picture. It is supereasy to achieve and fun to look at!

DO AS THE FRENCH DO!
They gave us the half-moon
French manicure, but you don’t
necessarily have to stick to the
rules. Beauty trends are what
you make of them...so pick
a bold shade of your choice
and swipe in on. Oh, it will look
even better if you match it to
the dessert.

beauty

SUBJECT OF GRADATION
The ombré effect is quite major at the
moment. Gradient nails look striking and
beautiful at the same time, and blend
well with most outfits, too. However,
we are crushing over the ‘flesh effect’
mani, which is all over the ‘Gram right
now. This technique is a bit tricky, so if
you don’t have time to hit the salon, you
can buy nail stickers online—there are
plenty of options on amazon.in.

THE SUMMER SPECIAL
Pay homage to the season by
picking a tangy duo of yellow
and orange. If you are not in
a mood to paint geometric
shapes, you can even swipe
them on alternate fingers for
a fun pop of colours.

ENTER #PROLEVEL
If your are seasoned player in the
manicure game, then it is time to
experiment with unusual combinations
that will put the spotlight on your digits.
Colours and shapes no bar, work
this trend with confidence, and don’t
shy away from flexing those fingers
whenever you want to make a point.

REINVENTING RED
Bored of bold, scarlet nails? Give your
favourite shade of lacquer a graphic
spin by putting your knowledge of
geometry to some good beauty use.
You can keep it simple, or even colourblock your talons for extra edge.

beauty

Body confidence, being your true self, and learning to enjoy being alone...
just some of the things that came up when Little Mix’s Jade Thirlwall sat
down for a chat with the world’s most famous drag queen.

I

RuPaul and
Jade in 2017

t is 5:30pm on a
Thursday evening in the
UK when RuPaul
Charles and Jade

Thirlwall jump on a video
call. RuPaul rocks up first.
It is morning where he is, in California,
and they are experiencing terrible
wildfires. Minutes later, Jade appears.
Underneath her profile picture, it says
Norma—she is accidentally logged in

Images Courtesy: Ru Paul’s Drag Race

using her mum’s account.
“Here you are!” shouts RuPaul. “Sorry, I have got no idea why
I am signed in as my mum,” says Jade. RuPaul laughs hysterically.
Their conversation takes place as he is preparing to launch the
second season of Drag Race UK on the BBC. As fans will know,
Jade was a guest judge on the first series and is a huge supporter of
the show.
The UK version may be a relatively new phenomenon, but the
franchise was born in 2009. It has now clocked up 12 seasons in
the US, and in 2018 The New York Times suggested it was “the
most radical show on TV”. There are multiple international
versions (it launched in Canada in 2020) and even yearly RuPaul’s
DragCon events.
For the uninitiated, it is a fabulous hybrid of reality TV and
talent contest, where drag queens compete in various challenges.
RuPaul, his friend Michelle Visage and guest judges (including
Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga) adjudicate the catwalk finale, before
a lip-sync battle commences between the bottom two contestants.
In September, Ru won his fifth consecutive Emmy award for
Outstanding Host For A Reality Or Competition Program.
Jade and RuPaul first met at DragCon in LA in 2017. She later
posted on Instagram that he had inspired her as a performer,
“whilst giving me the confidence in myself I never knew I had”.
And the rest is history.
So we put Jade in the hot seat, getting her to ask every nosy
question we have always wanted answering...

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

197

beauty

Jade Thirlwall: I am so glad to be
talking to you.
RuPaul Charles: “I loved our time
together on Drag Race UK.”
JT: It was one of the best days of my
life. Getting to see you in drag was
incredible. I got told off a few times
[during filming] as I kept turning to
talk to you. I just wanted to have a
little chinwag with you.
RPC: “You were wonderful and your
kindness and sweetness really shone
through. Because you started your
major career on a competition show,
you know what constructive criticism
is and how to give it to [the
contestants] in a way that’s sweet.”
JT: I have always got time in the
diary, Ru...whenever you want me on
there, I will make space! So, tell me,
what have you been doing during
lockdown?
RPC: “I like to stay busy. I work on
music, my television show... But I
have never had a problem with being
alone. Even as a kid, I always felt like
I was the little boy who fell to earth. I
always felt like an observer.”
JT: It says a lot when you are capable
of finding happiness within yourself
and not feeling like you need that
constant validation of being around
people.
RPC: “If you get too wrapped up in
how others see you...if you break
through that, you have such a rich
life.”
JT: It has been quite nice for myself
and the girls to take a step back
because we are always on the go. As a
pop artist, you can become very
wrapped up in how you are meant to
look. Being at home for a few months
gave me time to hone in on what
makes me happy.
RPC: “You are very smart to do that.
The world of pop music is different

from when the curtain goes down
and who you are behind the scenes.
Even if you are not a performer, if
you are in an office job, that’s like a
stage, and having a life on your own
is just as important. I feel like
lockdown was the universe’s way of
saying, ‘Everybody needs to spend
some time in quiet. Go to your damn
room. And don’t come out until you
do your homework!’”
JT: You seem to strike a really good
balance of keeping your relationships
and career quite separate?
RPC: “In school, my teacher told
me, “Ru, don’t take life too
seriously”. As I got older, I really
understood what he was saying.
That’s why drag is so important,
because it says, ‘I can change my
identity on a whim’. Everybody is
wearing a mask. Everybody was born
naked and the rest is drag.”
JT: So many drag queens I have met
are shy and then they get on stage... I
relate to that because it has taken me
a lot of time to gain the courage to
completely be myself in everyday
life. It wasn’t until I got on stage that
I would put this persona on and
channel drag queens. You really
helped me to do that.
RPC: “I think drag is like Clark Kent
to Superman. Superman is about
someone who has powers they
haven’t quite discovered yet. And
that is every human being on this
planet. Everybody should do a
version of their super-exaggerated
drag, just to see what superpowers
emerge once you put the costume
on!”
JT: It is really important for me that
whoever I find relationship-wise
loves drag culture. When I first
started talking to my boyfriend [actor
and musician Jordan Stephens],
I discovered he did a movie where
he played a drag queen and I was
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

like, right, that’s it. He’s perfect. Sign
me up! A straight man who is willing
to dress in drag and loves being
queer and feminine.
RPC: “I love Drag Race for that
reason—watching these men give
themselves permission to behave in
ways that society would not let them
and then watching the emotions
come up. I feel so bad for men in our
culture, because the rule book says
that men after 13 are not supposed to
show emotion. We live in a culture
where men are really suffering.”
JT: Did you realise the impact that
the show would have on the
LGBTQIA+ community?
RPC: “I knew people would like it.
Drag is a hoot. But
I didn’t know it would have such a
social impact! There are so many
places in the world where you are not
allowed to be gay and women aren’t
allowed to have a voice. The Drag
Race phenomenon is a celebration of
people who have taken the
opportunity, wherever they live, to
express themselves. That is what the
show really is about—the tenacity of
the human spirit.”
JT: Who did you look up to in the
drag world?
RPC: “As a kid, I knew I would be
famous. Cher, David Bowie, Diana
Ross, Dolly Parton—I mixed all of
those together and came up with who
I would be. Early on, when I started
my career in Atlanta, in 1982, it was a
Mecca for drag queens. Me and my
friends were all punk rock—combat
boots, smeared lipstick, ratty wigs,
and hairy chests. Then I moved to
New York to make money, so I
decided to glam it up. Then, when I
started to get really serious and got a
record deal, I did my Glamazon drag,
which is what we do today. I started
collaborating with the designer Zaldy
in 1992 and boom! That was the
beginning.”

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199

beauty
JT: That was the year I was born, Ru.
RPC: [Laughs] “I have learned so
much over the years [from him]. It is
all about proportions and that’s true
for everyone. You have to focus on
how the human eye will interpret the
silhouette.”
JT: 100%. When I first started
watching Drag Race, I was telling my
stylist, “I want hip pads. And I want
this to be cinched. And I won’t be
told otherwise!” I have never looked
back because I am quite rectangular
and I have got little boobies. But I
have learned to embrace that, and
that’s what drag culture is about. A
bit of padding goes a long way on
stage.
RPC: “I don’t have breasts, but when
I do my push-up bra, I have the
biggest boobies in the world!”
JT: Me too. Well, I like to tell myself
I do.
RPC: “And you know, I have a big,
old, fat *ss. Thanks to the scientific
developments of foam rubber.”
JT: We have both had successful
music careers. Tell me about your
influences...
RPC: “I love country music, jazz and,
of course, pop music. Oh, and
Motown and disco.”
JT: Motown is the reason I got into
music. Diana Ross is, for me, the
original pop icon.
RPC: “Being a little brown kid in the
ghetto, when those three girls [Diana
Ross’s band, The Supremes] came
onto the television, it was a major
occurrence. I was smitten from the
very first time I saw her.”
JT: I went to see her last year in Las
Vegas with my mum. Talking of
superfans, the first time I met you,
I was overwhelmed. It was at

200

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

DragCon. I was about to buy a
$1,000 doll to get the chance to meet
you and then I bumped into Michelle
Visage and she was like, “Oh girl,
come here.” One thing I judge
people on is if they make everyone in
the room feel just as important. I
really appreciate how nice you were
and your suit was lovely.
RPC: “I place kindness and
sweetness at the top of my list of
human virtues and, second, a big,
fat *ss.”

“I place
kindness and
sweetness at
the top of my
list of human
virtues and,
second, a big
fat *ss.”
JT: How did you become friends
with Michelle?
RPC: “She’s a good egg. She’s supersmart. I met her in 1988. Over the
years, she popped up in different
situations and I thought, ‘My
goodness, this is someone who I
really need to get to know’. I like her
a lot. She makes me laugh. I feel bad
sometimes on the [Drag Race] panel
because we cut up like girlfriends
and I don’t want the others to feel left
out but we have a natural chemistry
together.”
JT: When you both start cracking up
on the television, it is gold. She is one
of a kind.
RPC: “She is! From dance group to
radio DJ, to a rapper on The
Bodyguard soundtrack, she has done
everything.”
FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

JT: “Maybe you have got a thing for
members of bands and that’s why you
warmed to me a little bit?
RPC: “Ever since The Supremes, I
have always loved a girl band. There’s
something in our collective DNA that
when we see a group of women
together, [we think] there’s
something important happening. We
respond.”
JT: A producer that we worked with
at the start of our career told us,

JT: I think it was meant to be with us.
RPC: “It’s funny, with Michelle, after
seeing her so many different places,
I realised, ‘Wait a minute, we were
supposed to be together’. It’s like the
universe saying, ‘Hey, I am trying to
tell you something.’”
JT: It’s true! I loved your
collaboration with Miley Cyrus
[Cattitude]. When will you be
featuring on the Little Mix album?
RPC: “As soon as possible. I would
love that. I am yet to meet the other
girls so I am very excited.”

“When one woman walks into a
room, a few heads turn. But when a
group of women walk into the room,
every head turns.” That’s something
we have always thought when we
lacked confidence.
RPC: “That is great advice.”
JT: This whole idea of empowerment
and solidarity...I think it is one of the
reasons why we have been together
10 years next year. That’s quite rare,
for a girl band to survive without
killing each other.

RPC: “Why do you think so many
other girl bands dismember after a
few years?”
JT: We always said, no matter what
happened, we would remain equal.
The minute somebody thinks they
are more important, that’s where it
starts to go wrong.
RPC: “There’s a chemistry to what
you are. That combination is
dynamite.”

JT: And what does the future hold
for you?
RPC: “We continue to grow Drag
Race. It is my first professional love.
I am so proud of how it has brought
so much joy to so many people. I am
writing songs, a book, developing TV
shows, and movies... But at the same
time, keeping the balance of who I
am professionally and who I am on a
personal level. And [I would like to]
try to eke out some time in Wyoming
[where he owns a 60,000 acre ranch]
for the quietness.”
JT: Creativity is good for the soul.
I just want to say a massive thank you
for talking to me, and for myself as a
woman of colour in the pop industry.
You have really helped me to become
the performer I am today. I will
always be grateful for that. I hope
you are well, hope you are happy, and
I hope to see you soon.
RPC: “That is a lovely compliment.
It was a thrill to speak with you. Give
Q
my love to your mom!”
AJ AND THE QUEEN IS AVAILABLE ON NETFLIX.

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

201

beauty
I want to incorporate a Vitamin C serum
in my AM skincare routine, but I am not
sure what to layer it with as I have
super-sensitive skin...

Lakmé
Vitamin C
AM Routine
Combo,
`948

Beauty
Expert

Ilana
Celestial
Pop in
Sun Pop
and Moon
Pop,
`720
each

WE ANSWER A BUNCH OF YOUR BURNING
BEAUTY QUESTIONS.

Q

I want to recreate the cat-eyeand-red-lip look as seen on the
runway, but I don’t have a steady hand.
Any tips on how can I create perfect
wings?
A: There are a bunch of hacks, and the simplest of them
all is ‘join the dots’. Yes, it is exactly what is sounds and
extremely easy to master. You will require a pen eyeliner
(smudge- and waterproof, preferably) with a thin tip.
Make a dot right at the outer corner of your lower lid.
Then, put two or three more dots in an upward
fashion till the end of your brow. Now, join the dots
Sugar Arrested
For Overstay
starting with the one at corner of the brow to the
Waterproof
lower lid. Next, starting from the middle of
Eyeliner, `899
your upper lid, create an angled line and take
it all the way to the brow, creating the outline
of your flick. You can use the same pen
eyeliner to fill in this angular masterpiece, or
use a liner with a thicker tip for ease of
movement. Repeat the process for the other
eye, swipe on a red lipstick, and you’re done.

A: Vitamin C is one of the most-loved skincare
ingredients, but sadly it is a bit of a loner and
doesn’t bond well with many other actives in the
biz. Be cautious of mixing formulas containing
retinol, AHAs, BHAs, or niacinamide as they
don’t always mix well with Vit C, and can lead
to heightened skin sensitivity. To ensure your
skin is not compromised during your quest
for luminosity, pair the serum with a
soothing day cream—preferably from the
same brand/range. Doing so could also
lead to faster results. PS: don’t forget to
slather on a generous layer of sunscreen.

Q

I want to try natural make-up by
homegrown brands. Is there a
no-fuss product that I can try
without worrying about how
my skin will react to it?

A: You must educate yourself by
reading the ingredients list.
Sometimes, a product might be great
on paper, but your skin might not take
too kindly to it. If you think you are allergic
to certain ingredients, studying a product
formula can save your skin. If you like to start
small, you can definitely give natural lip tints a
try—they are often made with fruit and vegetable
colours mixed with nourishing oils, and work well for
most people. Or, opt for these cream highlighters
by Ilana, which feature soothing ingredients like aloe
vera and glycerine, and keep skin hydrated.
By: MEGHNA SHARMA

Q

Q

I end up with zits every
time I use make-up
brushes...what am I doing
wrong?
A: You are probably not washing your
make-up brushes regularly. As a rule of
thumb, toss your tools in a brush cleaner
or on a silicone pad to get rid of product
residue that can harbour bacteria. There
are a tonne of good brush cleansing
solutions available in the market (check
Nykaa, Sephora, or amazon.in). And
remember to dry them properly as that,
too, can lead to bacterial growth. Store
them in a clear box to prevent dust from
accumulating and, of course, for easy
access. Lastly, spritz a disinfectant spray
on your beauty blender and brushes to
sanitise them before you use them.

Luxie 211
Rose Gold
Concealer
Brush,
`1,050

Perenne
Make Up
Disinfectant
Mist, `990

beauty

LUST LIST
PRETTY STUFF WE’VE GOT OUR EYES ON THIS MONTH!

tw
bine ith o
ca

Juicy Chemistry
Helichrysum &
Rosehip Facial Oil,
`650

h

Best Buys

picks
top
ur

ur beauty
yo

By Meghna Sharma

Refre
s
Huda Beauty Naughty Nudes
Eyeshadow Palette, `5,375

Featuring 18 shades in matte,
metallic, glossy, reflective, and
marble finishes, this palette
allows you to create infinite looks.

Forest Essentials Tinted
Lip Serum Madhu Rasa in
Jamun, `1,295

Bursting with flavours of
jamun, this sheer formula
glides on easily and leaves
a hint of tint on the lips.
The Lip Serum is superhydrating and can be worn
alone or used to prime lips
before applying lipstick.

L’Occitane en Provence
Cactus Verbena Hand Gel
Cream, `900

This lightweight gel-cream with
verbena and cactus extracts
instantly melts on hands and
leaves them smelling fresh
and looking radiant.

This fast-absorbing,
antioxidant-rich oil
hydrates skin,
improves texture and
tone, and protects it
from free-radical
damage.

Too Faced Killer
Kajal, `1,450

If you love a bold,
kohled look, this
intensely-black
kajal will allow
you to create
multiple looks
without worrying
about it bleeding
or smudging.

iS CLINICAL
PerfectTint
Powder SPF 40,
`7,700
FAE Beauty Glaws Gloss in Emerging,
Transforming, and Becoming, `499 each

The multi-tasking formula—housed in a unique,
clickable, rollerball pen—allows you to add a hint of
sheen to your lips, lids, and cheeks. Enriched with
passionfruit and Vitamin E, it is super-hydrating and
available in three universally-flattering shades.
Toppik Hair Building Fibres, `2,200

Made of statically charged naturalcoloured keratin protein, this formula
intertwines with hair for a natural look.
Water- and sweat-proof, the long-lasting
formula is great for part lines, covering
extension tracks, and touching up roots
between hair colour appointments.

The stick armed
with a brush is
the future of
sunscreen. The
powder formula
protects skin,
minimises the
appearance of
pores, and
absorbs excess
oil to leave you
looking flawless.

Dromen & Co Black
Obsidian Gua Sha, `2,499

Carved with black
obsidian, a crystal of
power and strength, this
tool de-stresses muscles,
detoxifies skin, increases
blood circulation, and
sculpts your face.
Chambor Extremewear
Liquid Lipstick, `845 each

Chambor’s latest launch boasts of a
long-lasting, transfer-proof formula
that sets to a comfortable, creamymatte finish. Available in over 30
shades, the rounded, felt wand
helps with precise application.

L’Oréal Professionnel
SteamPod 3,0, `24,800

Created with ‘steam’
technology that causes
91% less damange, this
tool allows you to create
waves or sleek, straight
hair in no time. The
SteamPod also comes
with an integrated comb
that offers hold while
you style your hair for
faster results.

COSMO
LOVES

Plum 10 % Rice
Niacinamide Serum
with Rice Water, `499

d’you Hustle Serum, `3,200

Hate layering products? Try
this micro-emulsion formula
that multi-tasks as a toner,
essence, and serum. With
60% birch sap juice as the
base solvent, over 11 active
ingredients, and 10% microferment extracts, this
product hustles hard to
award you with your best
skin E.V.E.R.

Tiffany & Co Tiffany &
Love For Her EDT,
`11,000/90ml

This floral juice from
the iconic jewellery
brand will instantly
make you fall in love
with its unique blend of
grapefruit, basil, neroli,
cedar, and vetiver.

Kama Ayurveda Bringadi
Hair Cleanser, `1,495

This new shampoo is an
extension of Kama Ayurveda’s
famed Bringadi Intensive Hair
Treatment Oil ritual. To be
used after an oil massage, this
cleanser prevents hairfall and
premature greying, rids you of
dandruff flakes, and leaves
hair hydrated and voluminous.

Pilgrim Secrets Of
Vinotherapie Red Wine
Body Wash, `350

Infused with red vine
extracts and aloe vera,
this delicatelyfragranced formula
deep cleanses and
moisturises the skin,
and promises to keep
it firm and young.

If you have sensitive, acneprone skin, try this
niacinamide-rich serum,
which soothes zits, regulates
sebum production, and
clarifies the complexion to
reveal healthy, glowing skin.

lifestylist
Avalon
Paper
Block
Pillow,
Hermès,
`46,500

Chirp Teal
Decor,
Glass
Forest,
`2,850

Kaylee
3-Seater Sofa
in Sky Blue,
CasaCraft,
`96,999

Baby Got Blues
A hint of this cool hue is all you need to add a touch of
serenity to your home and work station.

Colour
Connect
Contemporary
Ceramic Table
Lamp, Home
Centre,
`1,199

The Blissful
Yogi Table
Decoration
Showpiece,
Dekor
Company,
`2,399
Mare
Clausum
Vase-Je
Kraak,
Vista
Alegre,
`58,950

Rose Wall
Art, Studio
Glasshopper,
`18,660

Lana Solid
Wood End
Table,
Amberville
by
Pepperfry,
`17,999

The Curious
Chair,
Borderline
Studio,
`64,900

Compiled By: AAKANKSHA BATRA, AMISHA ZALANI AND SNEHAM CHOUDHARY

Globe Table
Clock,
Modern
Quests,
`3,995

Bug Teapot
Blue,
Nicobar,
`2,650

Cobalt
Maise Wall
Hanging,
Cyahi,
`1,499

Square G Cloud
Jacquard Three
Panel Screen,
Gucci, `10,38,000

IDEAS
101

The most wonderful thing about
blue is that it has a vast shade family,
ranging from pastels to bold colours. To
add a calming touch to your living room,
try introducing a sofa or wing chair in this
shade along with complementing accents like
carpets, vases, and other decor items. For
the bedroom, an ottoman or bedside lamps
will help add a pop of colour, without
looking OTT. Plus, you can never go
wrong with indigo serveware.

Blue
Medusa
Whisky
Glass Set,
Versace,
`20,400

Entusiasm
Bowl, Ikea,
`999 (set of 4)

Tuscany
Pearl Wine
Glasses,
Good Earth,
`7,400

Edina
Ottoman
Cum
Bench,
Claymint,
`30,300

Teal Jal
Mahal King
Size
Coverlet,
Ritu Kumar,
`16,000

Blue
Carved
Vase, Snab
Decor,
`1,500

Decorative
vintage
porcelain
mug, Tasse
De The on
Tata Cliq
Luxury,
`1,299

Jaeden
Rug, House
of Rugs,
`2,10,280

Lapis Lazuli
Decor Box,
Oma,
`16,995

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

Dalhousie
Tufted Leather
Armchair,
Gulmohar
Lane, `67,142
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

207

astro

in

g!

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

az

19.02–20.03
This month, compromise
is the key to resolving love
issues. Singles will be at
their charismatic best
and could meet a
potential beau.
Financially, money might
be tight and that could
delay any plans to start
your own venture. On the
bright side, everything on
the health front looks
great...and it will ensure
your joie de vivre is
unscathed.

I t’s

21.03–19.04
Grab your boo and head
for that long overdue
vacation...it will help
affection blossom and
facilitate better
understanding between
you both. Single Rams, too,
are in the mood for lurve,
and will put their best foot
forward. Your work
environment might get a
little unstable with
challenges cropping up
regularly. So, focus on your
overall well-being by
indulging in your fave sport
or breathing exercises.

rg

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

Pisces

a

in some
sta

208

Aries

o

ns

ulge

20.01–18.02
Even as things look bleak
currently, don’t lose faith
in the Universe. Trust
your gut and do not
hesitate about taking
tough decisions. Your
personal relationships
shall bounce back as the
month ends, and a
cordial work rapport will
help you excel
professionally. Be wary of
financial speculations as
those could lead to losses.
Keep anxiety at bay by
practising relaxation
techniques regularly.

n to the heave

ind

Aquarius

e

tur
to

nd

o
C sm

ti m

GET A SNEAK PEEK AT WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO... AND WHAT TO
WATCH OUT FOR! By Jai Madaan

Taurus

20.04–21.05
The second half of the
month brings with it a
renewed sense of
excitement and romance.
Single Taureans may find
equally enticing love
alliances during the second
week and should consult
close friends in case of any
confusions or doubts. A
superb month for
professionals, you may
also discover
opportunities for career
advancement. Avoid stock
market speculations and
sweating the small stuff.

Cancer

Gemini

21.05–20.06
It is time to focus on your
fam as discords may arise
on the domestic front. Your
love life can experience
some hiccups too, but be
assured that bae will stick
it out with you. Single
Geminis looking for love
should re-evaluate their
priorities and concentrate
on other aspects of life for
the time being. Be mindful
of not getting into any
conflicts at the workplace.
Tackle stress by making
time for meditation and
eating healthy.

21.06–22.07
We won’t blame you for
feeling like your career isn’t
going anywhere ATM as you
may face issues with
colleagues and not be able to
achieve your goals. The
planets predict li’l rewards
despite all the hard work
you put in, but chill...your
love life will bring in the
support and stability you
need to get through this
rough phase. Even singles
can look forward to meeting
someone interesting this
month. Try some yoga to
preserve your inner
equilibrium.

Virgo

Leo

23.07–22.08
Be aware of how your
naturally dominating and
magnetic personality
affects your relationships
in general. Your love life
will thrive with happiness
aplenty, while single Leos
would be guided by their
instincts when it comes to
matters of the heart.
Financial gains are on the
horizon and investments
can be profitable, too. Take
care of your health as
minor health issues might
pop up when Mercury is
in retrograde.

23.08–22.09
Your career and finances
might take a hit, but don’t
worry as this too shall
pass. The heavens ensure
your love life is nothing
short of *bliss*. Single
Virgos might also discover
potential matches during
the second week of the
month, and will prove to
be amazing partners in
their new relationships.
Good health will keep your
spirits high.

s
A t ro
Scorpio

Libra

23.09–22.10
~Hot Alert~ Your love
rhythms are surging and
you may end up spending
memorable, quality time
with your SO, thanks to
Venus. The Goddess of
Love also showers singles
with her blessings, but
refrain from making any
hasty commitments. With
potential irritants in your
professional life, time
management is
necessary. Fitness and
spiritual regimens will aid
in keeping you cheerful
and motivated.

23.10–21.11
Good news first—you
can expect handsome
rewards this month on
the work front and things
at home will be
harmonious. But
manage your
expectations with bae
and learn to overlook the
minor stuff to avoid
unnecessary friction.
Planetary positions are
ideal for making new
investments. Give back
to the society in your
spare time and hold on
to your positive attitude.

Sagittarius

22.11–21.12
This month promises fresh
beginnings and singles,
especially, have the astral
‘go ahead’ for finding
meaningful connections.
Those who are already
coupled up might
experience some turmoil
and will have to take
initiative to sort out any
issues immediately. With
things flowing smoothly at
work, you will be able to
achieve your targets easypeasy. Maintain a work-life
balance through proper
scheduling.

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

Capricorn

22.12–19.01
Worry not if your love boat
hits rough waters in the
first half of the month as
there is nothing that can’t
be resolved through
quality communication.
Singles need to stay
optimistic and patient for
the right opportunities to
come along. But cheer up,
as your career heads in
the right direction and
your diligence will keep
you on track, despite
some delays. Money might
pour in from unexpected
sources (ka-ching!) and
you shall enjoy good
health too.

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021 COSMOPOLITAN

209

Deer
S

last word

e
h
a
r
d
e
s
k
.
.
a
.
e
n

Pride Chuck
Taylor All
Star High
Top
Sneakers,
Converse,
`6,400

Triple
Platform
Lo W Gaa
Sneakers,
Adidas
Originals,
`13,999

Ralph Sampson 70 Mid
Michael Lau Shoes,
Puma, `9,999

We have got our eyes on these distinctly cool keds featuring bold tones
and prints to match your many moods.
210

COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2021

FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

TOTAL NUMBER OF PAGES 212 (INCLUDING COVER PAGES)

Illustration: TANYA CHATURVEDI; Concept: ZUNAILI MALIK

Text print, lace-up
shoes, Skechers,
`7,499

TRUE MULTIMEDIA

POWERHOUSE

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“

Switching to the Z 6II is without a doubt one of the
best decisions I've made so far. It delivers on its
name and even more!
- Vijay Eesam Z Ambassador

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