и morouS
TORIES
СМЕШНЫЕ РАССКАЗЫ
(на английском языке)
КНИГА ДЛЯ ЧТЕНИЯ И РАЗВИТИЯ НАВЫКОВ УСТНОЙ РЕЧИ
Для учащихся VIII—X классов средней школы
Составители
Н. С, Хаперений и С. И, Качаров
ИЗДАНИЕ ВТОРОЕ
ГОСУДАРСТВЕННОЕ УЧЕБНО-ПЕДАГОГИЧЕСКОЕ ИЗДАТЕЛЬСТВО МИНИСТЕРСТВА ПРОСВЕЩЕНИЯ РСФСР Москва * 1961
В этой книге собраны шутки и короткие смешные рассказы, которые учащиеся старших классов самостоятельно прочтут с интересом и без большого труда. Ко многим шуткам подобраны английские пословицы и поговорки, так или иначе перекликающиеся с текстом шуток.
Диалоги, которые встречаются почти в каждом рассказе и шутке, дают образцы устной разговорной речи на бытовые темы и позволяют рекомендовать книгу в качестве пособия по развитию речевых навыков у учащихся.
Книга может быть широко использована в школьных разговорных кружках, где под руководством учителя учащимся предлагается выполнить минимум упражнений, представленных в разделе Assignments, Эти упражнения помогут проводить в кружке разнообразную работу. Пользуясь материалом книги, учащиеся смогут задавать друг другу вопросы и отвечать на них, пересказывать тексты, разучивать их по ролям и инсценировать.
Рисунки художника А, 3, И ткана
customer. What are you crying for, my lad?
SHOPKEEPER’S SON. My father is selling some new soap, and every time a customer comes in I have to wash to show it off.
customer — покупатель
lad — разговори, парень, парнишка shopkeeper — владелец, хозяин магазина to show it off — здесь демонстрировать
MARY. Mother, I don’t think the man upstairs likes Tommy play on his drum.
MOTHER. Why?
MARY. Well, he just gave Tommy a penknife and then asked him if he ever wondered what was inside the drum.
drum — барабан
to play on the drum = to play the drum
penknife — перочинный нож
to wonder ['wAnda] — здесь интересоваться
BOY. I want a bundle of hay.
FARMER. For your father?
BOY. No, for the horse. Father doesn’t eat hay.
hay — сено bundle — охапка
Memorize the proverb.
You can take a horse to the water but you cannot make him drink. — Можно привести лошадь к воде, но нельзя заставить ее пить. (Не всё можно сделать силой.)
BOY. Can you see everything in the sky with this telescope?
MAN. Yes, my boy.
BOY. Then where’s the balloon I lost this morning?
balloon [ba'lu:n] — воздушный шарик
telescope ['teliskoup]
Memorize the proverbs.
1. If the sky fall (или falls) we shall catch larks. — (разговори. шутл.) Если бы небеса упали, мы поймали бы жаворонков. (Если бы, да кабы.)
lark — жаворонок
2. Saying and doing are two things.—Одно дело — сказать, другое — сделать. (Скоро сказка сказывается, да не скоро дело делается.)
A schoolboy was asked how many wars Spain had had in the fifteenth century.
“Six,” replied the boy promptly.
“Enumerate them,” said the teacher.
“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,” said the boy.
Spain — Испания
promptly ['promptli] — быстро, проворно to enumerate [i'nju:mareit] — перечислять
Memorize the proverb.
War is the sport of kings. — Война — забава королей. (Война нужна королям, а не народу.)
HOW MANY TIMES DO THEY RING THE BELL (p.42)
“Do they ring two bells for school?” a father asks his little daughter.
“No, Father,” is the answer. “They ring one bell twice.”
Memorize the following.
1. Twice two is four. —Дважды два — четыре.
2. It’s as plain as a pikestaff. — Ясно, как дважды два — четыре.
a pikestaff ['paiksto:f] —древко пики
НЕ DIDN’T NOTICE IT
(р.42)
MOTHER. I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?
JOHNNY. Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn’t notice the other.
cupboard ['kAbod] — шкаф, буфет
Johnny ['dsoni] — Джонни (имя, уменьшит, от John) to suppose [sa'pouz] — (пред) пол а гать
IT DOESN’T MATTER	(p.43)
Bessie is a little girl. She is only five. She does not go to school, and, of course, she does not know how to read and write. But her sister Mary is a schoolgirl. She is ten.
One day Mary sees her little sister at the table with a pen in her hand and a big sheet of paper in front of her.
“What are you doing, Bessie?” she says.
“I am writing a letter to my friend Kitty,” says Bessie.
“But how can you?” says her sister. “You don’t know how to write.”
“Well,” says Bessie, “it doesn’t matter, because Kitty doesn’t know how to read.”
Memorize the proverb.
Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. — Для сердца, которое жаждет, нет ничего невозможного. (Была бы охота, а возможность найдётся.)
THEY UNDERSTOOD IT AT LAST	(p.43)
Two men, who had come to the country for their holidays, were walking in an orchard. They saw that all the trees were bending under a heavy load of apples, except one tree on which there were no apples at all.
A small country boy was sitting nearby. They called to him. “Come here, boy. Here’s a sixpence for you. Do you know why there are no apples on that tree?”
“Of course I do, sir. Because it is an oak-tree,” answered the boy.
orchard ['o:tjad] — фруктовый сад
to bend — гнуться, сгибаться
load — груз, тяжесть
except [ik'sept] — кроме, за исключением
sixpence — монета в 6 пенсов
oak-tree — дуб
HE’S GOING ТО BE GOOD NEXT TIME (p.43)
TEACHER. John, why are you late?
JOHN. Please, madam, I had to wash my neck and ears, but, honest, it won’t happen again.
but honest — но честное слово
Memorize the proverb.
Honesty is the best policy. — Честность — лучшая политика.
honesty ['onisti] — честность
TEACHER. If there were four flies on the table, and I killed one, how many would be left?
LITTLE BRIGHT GIRL.
One, the dead one.
fly — муха
bright — здесь смышлёная, умная
WHAT IS MARY DOING?	(p.44)
MOTHER. Jane, what is Mary doing?
JANE. Well, if the ice is as thick as she thinks it is, she is skating, but if the ice is as thin as I think, she is swimming.
Memorize the following.
1. to swim like a fish (like a cork, like a duck) —плавать, как рыба (как пробка, как утка).
cork — пробка
2. to swim like a stone — плавать как топор (букв, как камень)
A BARKING DOG DOES NOT BITE	(p.44)
“Sam,” says his father, “put on your cap and coat and let us go for a walk.”
Sam is happy. He likes to go out with his father. He puts on his cap and coat and says: “Father, I am ready.” Sam and his father go out into the street. Suddenly they see a big black dog. The dog begins to bark. Sam is afraid of the dog. He wants to run home. His father says: “Don’t
be afraid, Sam. Don’t you know the proverb: *A barking dog does not bite’?”
“Oh, yes,” says Sam, “I know the proverb, you know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb?”
to bark — лаять to bite — кусать(ся)
COUNTING PIGS
(p.44)
One day a farmer, who had twenty pigs, sent his servant to count them and see if they were all there. The servant came back slowly.
“Well,” said his master, “are they all right?”
“Ah! I counted nineteen, but one little fellow ran about so fast I wasn’t able to count him at all.”
to count [kaunt] — считать
a fellow — here a pig
Memorize the proverbs.
1. We don’t kill a pig every day. —He каждый день свинью режут. (Праздник бывает не каждый день.)
2. If you want a thing well done, do it yourself. — Если хочешь, чтобы дело было сделано хорошо, сделай его сам.
BETTY. Black hens are more clever than white ones, aren't they?
LETTY. How do you know?
BETTY. Well, the black hens can lay white eggs, but the white hens can’t lay black ones.
to lay eggs — нестись
Memorize the proverb.
Better an egg today than a hen tomorrow. — Лучше яичко сегодня, чем курочка завтра. (Не сули журавля в небе, а дай синицу в руки.)
THE HORSE AND THE CART	(p.45)
The teacher had told the class to draw a horse and a cart. One boy finished his work very quickly, so the teacher went to look and found that he had drawn only a horse.
“What is this?” she asked.
“Well, the horse can draw the cart,” came the answer.
to draw [dro:] — 1) рисовать; 2) тащить, тянуть, везти
Memorize the proverb.
To put the cart before the horse.—Ставить телегу впереди лошади (т. е. делать что-либо шиворот-навыворот).
WASN’T SHE LUCKY?	(р.45)
RICH LADY. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. POOR GIRL. By the size of her mouth it must have been a soup laddie.
to be born with a silver spoon in one’s mouth — поговорка родиться с серебряной ложкой во рту (родиться под счастливой звездой, родиться в рубашке)
size — размер
laddie — половник
PAPA, (severely). Did you ask Mamma if you could have that apple?
THREE-YEAR OLD BOY (eating the apple). Yes, I did.
PAPA. Be careful, now; I’ll ask Mamma, and if she says you didn’t ask her, I’ll whip you for telling a lie. Did you ask Mamma?
THREE-YEAR-OLD. Truly, Papa, I asked her, (a pause) she said I couldn’t have it.
truthfulness — правдивость
Papa [рэ'ра:] — разговори, папа Mama [шэ'та:] —разговори, мама to whip [wip] — хлестать, пороть
IN A TRAIN CAR
severely [si'viah] — строго lie — ложь
truly [ 'tru:li] — правда
pause [po:z] — пауза
(p. 45)
Nick with his father went to see Grandmother. In the train Nick every minute put his head out of the window. His father said, “Nick, keep quiet! Don’t put your head out
of the window!” But Nick went on putting his head out of the window.
Here his father took Nick’s cap quietly, hid it behind his back and said, “You see, your cap has flown.” Nick was afraid. He began to cry. He wanted to have his cap back.
His father said, “Well, whistle once! Perhaps, your cap will come back. “Nick came up to the window and whistled. Nick’s father put quickly the cap on Nick’s head.
Oh! It was wonderful! Nick laugh-
ed. He was pleased. He took quickly his father’s cap and threw it out of the window. “Now it’s your turn to whistle, Dad!” he said gaily.
quiet [kwaiat] спокойный; Keep quiet! — Успокойся!
to fly (flew, flown) — летать, здесь улетать to whistle [wisl] — свистеть, давать свисток Dad разговори, папа
ARCTIC EXPLO RE R (p. 46)
BOY OF SIX. Daddy, when I grow up I want to be an Arctic Explorer.
FATHER. That’s fine, Bill.
BOY- But I want to at once.
go into training
FATHER. How so?
BOY. Well, I want a dollar a day for ice-cream so I’ll get used to the cold.
explorer [iks'plo:ra] — исследователь
to go into training — заниматься тренировкой
JIM AT SEA
(p. 46)
Jim works as a cabin-boy on a small steamer. One morning he brings in breakfast for the captain and says: “May I ask you something, sir?”
“Of course, you may”, says the captain, who sees that the boy looks rather frightened. “What is it?”
“Is a thing lost if you know where it is?” says Jim.
“Of course, it isn’t,” says the captain.
“Then your coffee-pot isn’t lost sir, because I know where it is,” says Jim with a smile.
“Where is it?” asks the captain.
“At the bottom of the sea,” says Jim.
a cabin-boy ['kaebinboi] юнга
a steamer — a ship or boat driven by steam (steam — nap)
a coffee-pot — a pot for making coffee
bottom — дно
Memorize the proverb.
What is done cannot be undone. — Сделанного не воротишь. (Что с возу упало, то пропало.)
ТОО HIGH FOR HIM
(р.47)
She could not read the thermometer, but she took her husband’s temperature with it and gave a call to the doctor.
“Dear Doctor, please, come at once. My husband’s temperature is 63.”
The doctor replied, “Dear Madam, I can do nothing. Send for the fire brigade.”
to take one’s temperature — мерить температуру
fire brigade [bn'geid] — пожарная команда
LADY (to a little girl). Is your Mama’s hair grey?
little GIRL. I don’t know. She’s too tall for me to see the top of her head, and she never sits down.
grey — серый
top — вершина, здесь макушка
(p. 47)
A SURE SIGN
Two neighbours are speaking:
“I heard your dog howling last night. If he howls three nights in succession, it’s a sure sign of death.”
“Indeed! And who do you think will die?”
“The dog.”
neighbour ['neiba] — сосед to howl [haul] — выть, завывать in succession [sak'sejn]. — подряд a sign [sain] знак, признак
Memorize the proverbs.
1. It rains cats and dogs.—Соответствует пословице Льёт как из ведра.
2. Every dog has his day. — У всякого пса бывает свой день. (Будет и на нашей улице праздник.)
Three men were travelling in South Africa. For about a week they had almost no food. At last one of them said that he would go out of the hut, where they were staying, and bring back something to eat, even if it were a lion. He had not gone far when he met a lion. As the lion rushed towards him,
he turned and ran in the direction of the hut. When he ran up to the hut door, which was open, he stumbled and fell and the lion burst into the hut. The man jumped to his feet, closed the door, and shouted to his friends inside, “Here you are, mates. Skin that one, while I’ll be looking for another.”
hut — хижина
in the direction of — по направлению к to stumble — спотыкаться
to burst (burst, burst) into — врываться to skin — сдирать шкуру
A DIFFICULT NAME
(p. 48)
The clerk asked the man who came to the office to spell his name. The man started his reply thus:
“O double t, i, double u, e, double 1, double u, double...”
The clerk stopped him and said, “Please, begin again.”
The man repeated: “O double t, i, double u, e double 1, double u, double...”
The clerk stopped him again and said: “What is your name?”
“It is Ottiwell Wood,” said the man, “I spell it: О double t, i, double u, e double 1, double u, double o, d.”
thus [3as] — так, таким образом
A SILLY RABBIT
(p. 48)
Little Steve has a pet rabbit. Its name is Bunny. He plays with it every day after school. One day his mother sees that her little boy is holding Bunny by the ears. From time to time he gives the poor rabbit an angry shake and says: “How much is two plus two?” or “How much is three plus three?”
“Steve, my boy,” says his mother. “Why do you treat your poor little Bunny that way?”
“Well,” explains Steve angrily, “our teacher says that rabbits multiply very quickly, but this dummy can’t even add.”
pet — ручной, комнатный (о животном)
from time to time — время от времени
to give a shake — трясти, трепать
to treat — обращаться, обходиться
to multiply ['mAltiplai] — 1) умножать; 2) размножаться
to add — складывать, прибавлять
Memorize the following signs. They mean:
+ (plus [plAs]) addition [e'dijn]— сложение
— (minus ['mamas]) subtraction [sab'traekjn] — вычитание
X multiplication ^mAltipli'keiJn] — умножение
: division [di'vign]—деление
= читается equals [Zi:kwalz]—равняется
TRYING TO REMEMBER IT
(P.49)
Bobby was spending the afternoon at his aunt’s. He was standing at the window looking out of it in a painfully thoughtful sort of way. “What makes you so serious, Bobby?” asked his aunt.
"Why, ma told me that I must remember not to ask for anything to eat, and I am trying to remember it.”
at his aunt’s — в доме своей тёти
in a painfully thoughtful sort of way — в печальной задумчивости ma = mamma.
“WHEN DID SOCRATES LIVE?”
(p. 49)
The teacher asked: “When did Socrates live?” After the silence had become painful, she ordered: “Open your history book. What does it say there?”
PUPIL. “Socrates, 469 В. C.”
TEACHER. Now, why didn’t you know when Socrates lived?
PUPIL. Well, I thought 469 B.C. was his telephone number.
Socrates ['sokrati:z] — Сократ (древнегреческий философ) painful —болезненный, здесь удручающий
В, С. = Before Christ [kraist] — до нашей эры (букв, до рождества Христова)
ONE ТОО MANY FOR HIM	(р. 50)
A boy who had been to school for a year and a half and who had been working hard at his arithmetic came home one midsummer for his holidays.
One evening there were two roast pigeons on the supper table, and the boy, who thought himself very smart, said to his father, “I can prove to you by arithmetic that those two pigeons are three.” “Ah!” said his father, “how do you manage that?” “Well, this is one, and that is two, and, of course, one and two make three.”
“How very clever!” exclaimed his father. “Your mother will take the first, 1 shall eat the second, and you may have the third.”
midsummer — время летнего солнцестояния (Midsummer day — 24 июня)
roast I roust J — жареный (от to roast — жарить)
pigeon [’pidsm] — голубь
thought himself very smart — считал себя очень умным (остроумным)
to prove [pru:v] — доказывать
Memorize the proverb.
Little pigeons can carry great messages. — Маленькие голуби могут нести важные сообщения. (Мал, да удал. Мал золотник, да дорог.)
A WITTY PATIENT
(р. 50)
“Are you feeling very ill?” asks the physician. “Let me see your tongue, please.”
“It’s no use, Doctor,” says the poor patient. “No tongue can tell how ill I feel.”
witty — остроумный
patient [’peijrit]—больной, пациент
physician [fi'zijn] — врач
tongue [tAij] — язык
Memorize the proverbs.
1. The tongue of idle persons is never idle.—У бездельников язык не бывает без дела. (Бездельники всегда работают языком.)
2. The tongue is not steel, yet it cuts. — Язык не стальной, а режет. (Злые языки — острый меч. Не ножа бойся, а языка. Хоть слово не обух, а от него люди гибнут.)
A man fell ill, and the doctor was sent for. The doctor came; and when he had found out what the matter was, he asked for pen, ink, and paper, so that he might write a prescription. But there were no such things in the house;
so the man’s wife went out to try to borrow them from somebody. She was a long time gone, and the doctor grew tired of waiting. He took a piece of coal, wrote the prescription with it on the door, and went away. The thing was that nobody in the house could read or write Latin. So they took the door off its hinges, carried it to the chemist’s shop, and got the medicine, prescription [pris'knpfn] — рецепт Latin ['laetin] — латынь hinge — петля
chemist [’kemist] — аптекарь
THE CLOCK THAT WOULD NOT GO
(p.51)
“Henry,” said a lady to her husband, “I can’t think what’s wrong with the clock. I wish you would see what you can do to make it go.” He took off the hands and the face and looked carefully with a magnifying glass at the works. Then he cleaned them, oiled them well, and in fact did everything he could think of. But the clock would not go. He went to bed hot, tired, and discouraged.
Next morning his wife said, “Henry, I think I know what the matter is.”
“Well?”
“It wants winding up!”
would not go — не хотят идти hands — здесь стрелки face — здесь циферблат magnifying — увеличительный (the) works — здесь механизм to oil — смазывать
in fact — фактически, по существу
discouraged [dis’kAnd^d] — обескураженный
to wind (wound, wound) up-за водить (часы)
Uncle John decided to grow a beard. During a visit to his sister’s he tried to make her little daughter kiss him. The
girl hesitated. “Baby, why don’t you give Uncle John a kiss?” asked her mother. “I can’t, there is no room fora kiss,” answered the girl.
beard [biad] — борода
to hesitate ['heziteitJ — колебаться no room — нет места
STRATFO RD-ON-AVON
(p. 52)
A young lady who was fond of Shakespeare visited Stratford-on-Avon and liked everything she saw there.
When she reached the railway station, she looked round and exclaimed:
“Oh! I think I like this most of all. Here the great master must have come to take the train to London, just as I am doing!”
Stratford-on-Avon f'straetfad an 'eivn] — Страдфорд-на-Эвоне (город в Англии, в котором родился Вильям Шекспир) to exclaim — восклицать the great master — великий художник (писатель)
Brown was out walking one day with his wife and his very large family. In the street he was stopped by a policeman who grabbed him by the shoulder.
“Hold on!” protested Brown. “What have I done?”
“I certainly don’t know what you’ve done,” answered the policeman, “but I do want to know why the crowd is following you!”
policeman [pa’lksman] — полисмен, полицейский to grab — (внезапно) схватывать
Hold on! —Стой! Подожди!
to protest [pro'test] — протестовать, возражать
WHY HE WAS LOOKING BLUE	(p.52)
FRIEND. What are you looking so blue about?
WRITER. I met a fellow today who had never heard of Shakespeare.
FRIEND. Well, you needn’t worry about that.
WRITER. Of course not, but it filled me with melancholy and made me fear that, perhaps, some day, I, too, may be unknown.
to look blue — выглядеть унылым
melancholy [’melankali] — уныние, грусть, дурное настроение
A well-dressed gentleman sat on a bench in the park, enjoying the spring day. A boy lay on the grass just across the walk, looking at him.
“What’s the matter, sonny?” asked the gentleman. “Why don’t you go and play?”
“Don’t want to,” the boy replied.
“But why don’t you run about?” the gentleman insisted.
“Oh, I’m just waiting,” answered the boy. I’m just waiting till you get up. A man painted that bench about fifteen minutes ago.”
sonny pSAni] — сынок, сынишка
walk n — дорожка
Don’t want to = I don’t want to play
ALWAYS LAST	(p. 53)
RICH FATHER. Well, my son, what is your number in the school-list this month? 1
SON.	I am the twenty-sixth.
FATHER. How many boys are there in your class?
SON.	There are twenty-six.
(A month later.)
FATHER. Well, my boy, what is your number in the list now?
SON. I am the twenty-seventh.
FATHER. How can that be? If I remember right, there are only twenty-six in your class.
SON. Oh, no, we have a new boy now.
school-list — список учащихся
1 В некоторых английских и американских школах учеников рассаживают в зависимости от их успеваемости — хорошие ученики сидят впереди, плохие — на последних партах.
Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.
“The boy is only two years old,” he said, “and he knows all animals. He’s going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you.”
He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.
“What’s that, Bobby?”
“Horsey,” said Bobby.
Next a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, “Pussy.”
Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of a lion, and Bobby said, “Doggy.”
And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, “Daddy!”
Bobby — Бобби (имя, уменьшит, от Robert) natural history — естественная история, естествознание naturalist [’naetjralist] — натуралист, естествоиспытатель giraffe [d3i'ra:f] — жираф horsey ['ho:si] — лошадка (уменьшит, от horse) tiger — тигр pussy [*pusi] — кошечка lion ['laian] — лев chimpanzee [Jfimpan'zi:] — шимпанзе doggy — собачка (уменьшит, от dog) daddy — разговори, папа
A member of a military band came to the surgeon with a throatache.
“Let me see your throat. Oh, that’s not so bad. You’ll be all right in a day or two. I think you had better rest a little for a week or so.” And with these words the surgeon gave the man sick-leave.
A week later the surgeon met the bandsman in the street.
“How’s your throat?” he asked.
“It’s quite well, sir,” was the reply.
“That’s good,” said the surgeon. “You can go back to your duty now. By the way, what instrument do you play in the band?”
“The small drum, sir!” said the bandsman.
sick-leave — отпуск по болезни (бюллетень) military [’militan]—военный band — оркестр
surgeon [’said^n] — хирург, военный врач throatache ['Grouteik]— заболевание горла throat [Grout] — горло had better — лучше бы bandsman — оркестрант duty — здесь служба by the way — между прочим instrument ['instrumant] — инструмент the small drum — малый барабан (в духовом оркестре)
I was travelling in a tramcar yesterday. Sitting opposite me was a lady with a small child, and the little boy was crying bitterly.
In vain the mother tried to calm the youngster, and at last the gentleman sitting next to her said angrily, “Oh, how that child cries! Why don’t you let it have what it wants?”
“I would if I could,” replied the mother quietly, “but he wants your funny hat.”
tramcar — трамвай, трамвайный вагон
sitting opposite me was — напротив меня сидела
bitterly — горько
to calm [ka:m] — успокаивать
youngster — здесь малыш
sitting next to her was — рядом с ней сидел
1 would if I could — с удовольствием, если бы я могла
Memorize the proverb.
The business is as good as done. — Дело можно считать сделанным.
Farmer Jones is buying some things at a hardware store. The store-keeper has many bicycles in the store and wants to sell one to the farmer. He says: “Look here, farmer Jones, I have some very good bicycles to sell. I can sell you a first-class bicycle and you can ride around your farm on it every day.”
“Oh, no”, says the farmer. “I don’t want a bicycle, I think a cow is more in my style, and the price is the same.”
“But just think,” says the store-keeper, “you can’t ride around a town on a cow. That’s foolish.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” says the farmer with a smile, “which is more foolish, to ride on a cow or to milk a bicycle.”
witty — остроумный
hardware store — магазин скобя-
ных товаров, скобяная лавка store-keeper — лавочник first-class — первоклассный
more in my style — больше мне подходит (style — стиль)
price — цена
foolish — глупо
to milk доить
Memorize the proverb.
A cursed cow has short horns. — У дрянной коровы короткие рога. (Бодливой корове бог рог не даёт.) cursed ['ka:sid] — проклятый, окаянный horn — рог
“Sir,” said the manager to a clerk, “you must go to the barber and get a shave.
»
c
“But, sir,” protested the clerk, “I am growing a beard.”
“Do what you like at home,” said the manager, “but you mustn’t grow a beard during office hours.”
beard [biad] — борода clerk [kla:k] чиновник manager — управляющий
barber — парикмахер to get a shave — побриться office hours — служебные часы
SELLING AN ELEPHANT
(P- 55)
A merchant was selling a large elephant. A man came up to the elephant and began to examine it very carefully. The merchant went up to him and whispered in his ear, “Don’t say anything about that elephant till I’ve sold it, and I’ll make you a present.” “All right,” said the man.
After the elephant had been sold, the merchant gave him one-tenth of the price he had got for it, saying, “Now, will you tell me how you found out that blemish on the left foreleg of the elephant? I thought it was quite hidden.”
‘I never found any blemish,” said the man.
“Then why did you look so carefully at every part of the elephant?”
“Because I’d never seen one before, and wanted to know
what they were like.”
elephant ['elifant] — слон to examine ['ig'zaemin] —
изучать, осматривать
price — цена
one-tenth — одна десятая blemish [’blemij] — недостаток foreleg ['foilэд] — передняя нога
Memorize the proverb.
A clean hand wants no washing. — Чистую руку не нужно мыть. (Честному человеку не нужно оправдываться.)
“WHAT ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT?”	(p.56)
Two men, John and Jim, travelling through the country in America, stopped at a small inn for dinner. On the table there was a large cup of mustard. One of the men thinking the contents were custard or a sweet of some kind, took a spoonful of it in his mouth. Tears ran down his cheeks, but
wishing to have his friend Jimmy caught in the same trap, he said nothing of the mistake he had made. The other man, seeing that his friend was crying, said:
"Listen, Jim, what are you crying about?"
“I was thinking of my father who was hanged twenty years ago,” Jim replied.
Soon after, John took a spoonful of the mustard, and as the tears started down his cheeks, Jim, in his turn, said:
“What are you crying about?”
“To think you were not hanged the same day your father was,” came the answer.
inn — гостиница в сельской местности
mustard [’mAstad] — горчица
contents — содержимое
custard ['kAstadj — приправа из яиц, молока и муки trap — ловушка
to hang (hanged, hanged) — вешать (о человеке) spoonful — a full spoon of something
The Florida beach and blue sky looked inviting to the tourist from the north. He was going to swim, so he asked his guide:
“You’re certain there are no alligators here, aren’t you?”
“No, no,” replied the guide smiling. “There are no alligators here.”
The tourist was no longer afraid. He stepped into the water and began to swim. Then he asked the guide again:
“What makes you sure there aren’t any alligators?” “They’ve got too much sense,” answered the guide. “They
are afraid of the sharks.”
alligator [faeli'geita] — аллигатор (разновидность крокодила)
Florida ['Honda] — Флорида
beach — взморье, пляж
inviting — заманчивый, привлекательный (от глагола to invite) tourist — [ ’ tuarist] — турист
guide — [gaid] — гид, проводник
they’ve got too much sense — у них хватает ума
THE SUN AND THE MOON
(p. 56)
Two men were arguing one day about the sun and the moon, and which of the two was more useful. At last one of them said, “Oh! I know. The moon is quite worth two suns, for it shines at night when it is needed; but the sun shines in the daytime when nobody wants it.”
to argue ['o:gju] — спорить
is worth [ wa: 6j — стоит
Memorize the proverbs.
1.	The moon is a moon whether it shines or not. — Луна остаётся луной, даже когда она не светит.
2.	The moon is not seen when the sun shines. — Когда солнце светит, луны не видно.
3.	The morning sun never lasts a day. — Утреннее солнце не светит весь день. (Ничто не вечно под луной.)
to last — продолжать(ся), сохраняться
FATHER’S МОТТО
(р. 56)
The teacher was giving her class a lecture on mottoes, and remarked that she wished the class to memorize the motto, “It is better to give than to receive.”
A small boy cried out, “Yes, Miss, my father says he has always used that as his motto in business.”
“Oh, how noble of him! What is his business?”
“He’s a boxer, Miss.”
motto ['motou] —девиз	noble — благородный
lecture — лекция, беседа	boxer [’boksa] — боксёр
to remark — замечать
A gentleman was riding a horse one day. He wore a spur on one foot, but there was no spur on the other. A friend meeting him asked why he had no spur on his other
heel. “Well,” he answered. “И I make one side of my horse go, I don’t think the other side is very likely to lag behind.”
spur [spa:] — шпора heel — каблук to lag behind — отставать
Memorize the proverbs.
1.	A good horse cannot be of bad colour. — Хорошая лошадь не может быть плохой масти (т. е. мелкие недостатки не умаляют достоинств).
2.	That’s a horse of the same colour.— Эта лошадь той же масти. (Разговори. Это одно и то же.)
3.	That’s a horse of another colour. —Эта лошадь другой масти. (Разговори. Это совсем другое дело.)
Once a keen angler went fishing and took his friend with him. The man knew nothing of fishing, but decided to try his luck:
The two friends came to the river and began to fish. Suddenly the man who went fishing for the first time in his life said:
“I say, how much do those little red things cost?”
“You mean the floats? Oh, they’re cheap. Why do you ask me?
“I owe you for one. Mine has just sunk.”
float — поплавок
angler — рыболов, удильщик
to try one’s luck — попытать удачи cheap — дешёвый
I owe [ou] you — я должен тебе
Memorize the proverb.
Neither fish nor flesh. — Ни рыба ни мясо.
POET. I hope you have received the little volume of poems I sent you.
LADY. Oh, yes, I have — it is charming. I wonder where I have put it?
HER LITTLE SON. Under the leg of the table, mamma, to make it steady.
volume ['voljum] — том, книга
charming — очаровательный
to wonder ['wAnda] — удивляться
to make it steady ['stedi] — чтобы он не шатался (чтобы сделать его устойчивым)
Memorize the proverb.
First think and then say. — Сперва подумай, потом говори.
THE RICH AND THE LEARNED	(p.57)
A rich man, it is said, once asked a learned man why was it that men of science were so often to be seen at the doors of the rich, though rich men were very rarely seen at the doors of the learned.
“It is,” replied the scholar, “because the man of science knows the value of riches, and the rich man does not always know the value of science.”
riches — богатство science f'saians] — наука rarely ['reali] — редко
scholar ['skola] — учёный value ['vaelju] — ценность, цена
A rich Paris banker begged a well-known artist to do a little thing for his album. The artist did the little thing and asked a million francs.
“Why, it only took you five minutes to do it,” said the banker.
“Yes,” replied the artist, “but it took me thirty years to learn how to do it in five minutes.”
banker — банкир
Paris — Париж, парижский to beg — просить, умолять album ['aelbam] — альбом franc —франк (денежная единица) it took you only — это заняло у вас лишь
SAVING COAL
(Р. 58)
An economical housewife was told that by using a certain stove she would save half the quantity of coal.
“Oh, that’s very good,” she said, “I’ll have two and save the whole lot.”
to save — здесь экономить, сберегать
coal [koul] — уголь
economical [p’.ka'namikal] — экономный quantity ['kwantiti] — количество the whole lot — здесь весь уголь
Mr. Brown was very proud of the telephone he had at home. Once when he was in his office he said to his friend, Smith by name:
“I tell you, Smith, this telephone business is a wonderful thing. I want you to dine with me this evening, and I will tell Mrs. Brown to expect you. (Speaking through the telephone.) My friend Smith will dine with us this evening.” Then he gave the receiver to Smith and said, “Now listen and hear how distinctly her reply will come back.”
Mrs. Brown’s reply came back quite distinctly, indeed: “Ask your friend Smith if he thinks we keep a hotel?”
to expect — ожидать
receiver — телефонная трубка distinctly — чётко
to keep a hotel [hou'tel] —
держать гостиницу
A soldier was given orders not to allow people to enter the picture gallery with their walking sticks. A gentleman came up to the door with his hands in his pockets. The soldier, taking him by the arm, said:
“Stop, where is your walking stick?”
“I have no walking stick,” replied the man.
“Then you will have to go back and get one before 1 can allow you to enter the gallery.”
walking stick — трость picture gallery — картинная галерея
“GRATITUDE”
(P. 59)
A tailor has lent some money to the barber’s assistant. To show his gratitude, the barber’s assistant said:
“John, whenever you are in trouble, if all the world turns its back upon you, when father, mother, brothers and sisters forsake you, come to me and I shall shave you for nothing.”
gratitude ['graetitjud] — благодарность
tailor — портной
barber — парикмахер
assistant — помощник; barber’s assistant — ученик парикмахера
to be in trouble [trAbl] — быть в беде
to turn one’s back upon somebody — повернуться спиной к кому-либо
to forsake (forsook, forsaken) — оставлять, покидать
to shave (shaved, shaven) — брить(ся)
Memorize the proverbs.
1.	False [fo:ls] friends are worse than open enemies. — Фальшивые друзья опаснее врагов.
2.	Between friends all is common. — У друзей — всё общее (всё сообща.)
3.	A friend is never known till a man has need. — Никто не узнает друга, покуда сам не попадет в беду. (Друзья познаются в беде. Также A friend in need is a friend indeed. — Друг в беде — настоящий друг.)
WASN’T SHE AFRAID?	(p.59)
The old lady was going to take a taxi.
“Driver,” she said, “I want you to take me to the station.”
“Yes, madam,” said the driver.
“And you must drive slowly and carefully. Don’t go until the policeman lowers his arm, and, please, don’t rush round the corners as the road is very wet.”
The taxi-driver was getting angry.
“All right, madam,” he said. “But if we do have an accident, what hospital would you like to be taken to?”
taxi [' taeksi] — такси
madam ['msedam] — мадам
to lower — опускать
accident ['aeksidant] — несчастный случай
A man called at a village post-office for a registered letter. The letter was there, but the clerk did not give it to the man. “How can I know that the letter is for you?” he said.
The man took a photograph of himself from his pocket, and said, “I think now you know who I am?”
The clerk looked long at the photo and then said, “Yes, that’s you. Here’s your letter.”
post-office ['poust'ofis] — почта
registered letter — заказное письмо
A MISTAKE
(p. 60)
Two men had put up at a country inn, and they found their bedroom so hot in the night that one of them got up to open the door. As he got back into bed, his friend asked him what kind of night it was. “I don’t think it’s raining”, he replied, “but it’s pitch dark, and there’s a strong odour of cheese.” In the morning he discovered that he had not opened the bedroom door, but the door of a cupboard.
to put up —останавливаться
inn — гостиница
pitch dark — абсолютно темно
odour f'ouda] — запах, аромат
to discover [dis'kAva] — обнаруживать
cupboard f'kAbad] — буфет, шкаф
Memorize
He that never stumbled, да не спотыкался, никогда кто ничего не делает.)
to stumble — спотыкаться
the proverbs.
never fell. —Тот, кто никог-не падал. (Не ошибается тот,
HEAT AND COLD	(р. 61)
At a physics lesson the teacher asks the children about the effects of heat and cold on the body.
“Heat makes things bigger and cold makes things smaller,” answered a bright boy.
“Quite right,” says the teacher. “Can you give an example?”
“In summer, when it is hot, the days are longer, but in winter, when it is cold, the days are shorter,” answered the bright boy.
heat — тепло
effect [I'fekt] — влияние, воздействие
bright — умный, смышлёный
(p. 61)
PAVING-STONES
A village boy who had spent all his life in the country, was sent with a message into a town which he had never visited before. As he was walking through one of the streets, a dog ran at him and tried to bite him. The village boy looked round and tried to find a stone to throw at the dog, but the road was made of large paving-stones, tightly fixed.
“What an odd place this is,” he said, “where all the stones are tied up, and the dogs let loose.”
paving-stone — булыжник
tightly ['taitli] — крепко, плотно
to fix — укреплять
odd — странный
to tie [tai] — привязывать
to be let loose [lu:s] — быть свободным, здесь быть непривязанным
Memorize the proverb.
To kill two birds with one stone.—Убить двух птиц одним камнем. (За двумя зайцами погонишься — ни одного не поймаешь.)
Assignments
SELLING SOAP
(p.3)
I. Questions.
1. Who asks the boy a question? 2. Who answers the customer’s question? 3. Who is selling soap? 4. Who has to show it off every time a customer comes in? 5. Does the boy like his job? 6. Why is the boy crying?
II. Retell.
TOMMY'S DRUM	(p.4)
I. Questions.
1. What did Mary say to her mother? 2. Whom did Mary speak about? 3. What did Mary’s mother reply? 4. Who gave Tommy a penknife? 5. What did the man give Tommy? 6. What did the man ask Tommy? 7. Why did the man give Tommy the penknife? 8. Where did the man live? 9. Did the man like Tommy play on the drum? 10. Why didn’t he?
//. Retell.
FATHER DOES NOT EAT HAY	(p.4)
I.	Questions.
1.	Who came to the farmer for a bundle of hay? 2. What did the boy come to the farmer for? 3. What did the boy ask the farmer to give him? 4. How much hay did the boy ask the farmer to give him? 5. Did the farmer understand the boy at once? 6. Did the boy understand the farmer’s question correctly?
What do they eat?
1.	What do cows eat? Do they eat meat?
2.	What do horses eat? Do they eat sweets?
3.	What do pigs eat? Do they eat hay?
4.	What do dogs eat? Do they eat milk?
5.	What do hens eat? Do they eat corn?
6.	What do rabbits eat? Do they eat bread?
II.	Retell.
/. Questions.
1.	Who is speaking to the man? 2. About what does the boy ask the man? 3. Does the boy ask whether the man can see everything with his telescope? 4. What does the man answer? 5. What did the boy lose? 6. Did the boy lose his balloon? 7. Does the boy ask the man to find his balloon? 8. Can the man find the boy’s balloon? 9. Can the man see everything in the sky with his telescope? 10. What do we use telescopes for?
II. Retell.
HISTORY	(p.6)
/. Questions.
1. Who asked a schoolboy how many wars Spain had in the fifteenth century? 2. What did the teacher ask the boy? 3. What did the boy answer? 4. Did the teacher ask the boy to enumerate the wars? 5. What did the teacher tell the boy to do? 6. Did the boy enumerate the wars? 7. Was his answer good? 8. Did the teacher like his answer? 9. When did the teacher ask the boy? 10. Was it a history lesson?
II. Retell.
HOW MANY TIMES DO THEY RING THE BELL? (p. 6)
Memorize the joke.
HE DID NOT NOTICE IT	(p.6)
I. Questions.
1. Who left two pieces of cake in the cupboard? 2. How many pieces of cake did the mother leave in the cupboard? 3. When did the mother leave the two pieces of cake in the cupboard? 4. Where did the mother leave the two pieces of cake? 5. Whom did the mother ask about the two pieces of cake? 6. What did she ask her son about? 7. How many pieces of cake did she find in the cupboard? 8. Why did she ask her son about the cake? 9. What did the boy answer his mother? 10. Is Johnny a big boy? 11. Does he go to school? 12. Is Johnny’s mother angry with her son? II. Retell.
/. Questions.
1. How old is Bessie? 2. Does she go to school? 3. Does Bessie know how to read and write? 4. Who is Bessie’s sister? 5. Is Bessie Mary’s sister? 6. How old is Mary? 7. What does Mary see one day? 8. Where is Bessie sitting? 9. What does Bessie have in her hand? 10. What does Mary ask Bessie? 11. What does Bessie answer?
/. Read the text in the Past Tense.
II. Ask and answer the above questions in the Past tense.
THEY UNDERSTOOD IT AT LAST	(p.7)
I. Questions.
1. Who was walking in an orchard? 2. What were the two men doing in the country? 3. What did they see in the orchard? 4. Did they find it strange? 5. Whom did the two men see nearby? 6. Where was the boy sitting? 7. What did the two men ask the boy to do? 8. What did they give the boy? 9. What did the boy tell the two men? 10. Why was it that the boy knew something that the two men did not know?
II. Retell on behalf of a) the country boy; b) one of the men.
HE’S GOING TO BE GOOD NEXT TIME (p. 8)
I. Questions.
1. What did John mean by saying “it won’t happen again”?
2. How do you understand John’s answer?
//. Retell.
A BRIGHT GIRL	(p. 9)
I. Questions.
1. The teacher asks a pupil, doesn’t she? 2. The teacher asks a pupil a question, doesn’t she? 3. The question is not difficult, is it? 4. It is a girl who answers the question, isn’t it? 5. The girl is bright (clever), isn’t she? 6. The girl answers quickly, doesn’t she? 7. The girl answers correctly, doesn’t she? 8. It is a good thing when a pupil answers quickly and correctly, isn’t it? 9. The teacher likes the girl’s answer, doesn’t she? 10. The teacher is pleased with the girl’s answer, isn’t she? 11. You like the girl’s
answer, don’t you? 12. The girl’s answer is correct, isn’t it? 13. Can you think of another answer, can’t you?
II. Ask and answer the above questions in the Past Tense. III. Retell.
WHAT IS MARY DOING	(p. 9)
I. Questions.
1. Whom did the mother speak to? 2. The mother spoke to Jane, didn’t she? 3. What did the mother ask her daughter? 4. The mother asked her daughter about Mary, didn’t she? 5. Whom did Jane answer? 6. Jane answered her mother, didn’t she? 7. What did Jane answer her mother? 8. Jane answered that Mary was skating if the ice was thick, didn’t she? 9. Jane answered that Mary was swimming if the ice was thin, didn’t she? 10. Did the mother speak to Jane or Mary? 11. Did the mother speak about Jane or Mary? 12. Was it Jane who answered her mother or was it Mary? 13. Who was on the ice, Jane or Mary?
II. Retell.
A BARKING DOG DOES NOT BITE	(p.9)
I. Translate.
1. Кто идёт гулять с отцом? 2. Что говорит отец Сэму? 3. Рад ли Сэм идти гулять с отцом? 4. Что надевает Сэм? 5. Что говорит Сэм отцу? 6. Куда идёт Сэм с отцом? 7. Что они видят? 8. Боится ли Сэм собаку? 9. Что хочется сделать Сэму? 10. Что говорит отец Сэму? 11. Знает ли Сэм пословицу? 12. Что спрашивает Сэм? II. Retell.
COUNTING PIGS	(р.10)
I. Questions.
1. Who had twenty pigs? 2. Who sent his servant to count the pigs? 3. What did the farmer send his servant to do? 4. Whom did he send to count pigs? 5. What did the farmer send his servant for? 6. Who came back slowly? 7. What did the farmer ask? 8. How many pigs did the servant count? 9. Why didn’t the servant count all the pigs? 10. Is the story interesting? 11. Why do you think that the story is interesting? 12. Was the servant clever? 13. If the servant was clever, why did he say that he could not count the twentieth pig? 14. Often servants are cleverer than their masters, aren’t they? 15. Is it a simple thing to count pigs,
hens, chickens, ducks, when they are many and running? 16. Have you ever tried to count running chickens?
//. Retell.
A CLEVER ANSWER
/. Memorize.
11. Retell in Indirect Speech.
(p.ll)
THE HORSE AND THE CART	(p.ll)
/. Questions.
1. Who asked the class to draw a horse? 2. What did the teacher ask the class to do? 3. Who finished his work quickly? 4. What did one of the boys draw? 5. What did the teacher ask the boy? 6. What did the boy answer the teacher?
II. Retell.
WASN’T SHE LUCKY?	(p.ll)
I. Memorize the saying given in the joke. II. Retell in Indirect Speech.
TRUTHFULNESS	(p. 12)
/. Questions.
1. How old was the boy? 2. What was the child doing? 3. What was the child eating? 4. Was the child eating an apple? 5. What did the child’s father say? 6. Had the child asked his mother about the apple? 7. Did his mother let him eat the apple? 8. The boy’s mother did not allow him to eat the apple, did she? 9. Did the boy do what he was told to do? 10. Do you think the father was really going to whip his son?
II. Retell.
IN A TRAIN CAR	(p. 12)
I. Questions.
1. Who was going by train? 2. Where did the boy go? 3. With whom did the boy go to see Grandmother? 4. Did the boy go with his father? 5. Who put his head out of the window? 6. What did Nick’s father say when he saw his son put his head out of the window? 7. Did Nick’s mother tell him not to put his head out of
the window? 8. Did Nick stop putting his head out of the window? 9. What did Nick’s father do? 10. Where did the father hide Nick’s cap? 11. What did the father-say? 12. Did the father say that the cap had flown away? 13. Was Nick afraid? 14. What did Nick begin to do? 15. Did Nick begin to cry? 16. Why did he begin to cry? 17. What did he cry for? 18. What did Nick want to have back? 19. What did his father say? 20. What did Nick’s father tell him to do? 21. Where did Nick come up to? 22. Did he come up to the window and whistle? 23. Did the father quickly put the cap on Nick’s head? 24. Was Nick glad to have his cap back? 25. Was Nick pleased? 26. What did Nick do then? 27. What did Nick throw out of the window? 28. What did Nick do with his father’s cap? 29. What did the boy ask his father to do? 30. Was Nick’s father pleased with what Nick had done? 31. Would his father have his cap back if he whistled? 32. Did Nick understand his father’s joke?
IL Retell.
AN ARCTIC EXPLORER	(p. 13)
/. Questions.
1. Whom do children call “Daddy”? 2. What does the boy say to his father? 3. Does the boy want to be an Arctic explorer? 4. Does the father like the boy’s idea of becoming an Arctic explorer? 5. What does the boy want to do at once? 6. In what way is he going to train? 7. What does the boy ask his father to give him every day? 8. What does he need that dollar for? 9. Do you think the boy’s father will give his son a dollar a day for ice-cream? 10. What is an Arctic explorer? 11. In what way must one train so as to get used to the cold? 12. Are you going to be an Arctic explorer? 13. What subjects must one learn if one wants to become an Arctic explorer? 14. Can one be an Arctic explorer if one does not know physics, mathematics, chemistry, geography, astronomy and many other sciences?
IL Retell.
JIM AT SEA	(p.13)
/. Memorize.
IL Make a Dialogue.
/. Say it in English.
1.	Я меряю температуру. 2. Я померил температуру. 3. Я уже померил температуру. 4. Я померю ему температуру. 5. Вчера мама позвонила врачу. 6. Мама позвонит врачу. 7. Идите сюда, пожалуйста. 8. У меня (температура) 36,6. 9. У неё (температура) 36,6. 10. Я ничего не могу сделать. 11. Мы ничего не могли сделать. 12. Пошлите за доктором.
II.	Answer the questions.
1.	Is your temperature normal? 2. What is the normal temperature? 3. What do we use to take one’s temperature? 4. Do you know how to take somebody’s temperature?
MOTHER NEVER SITS DOWN
(p. 15)
I. Questions.
1.	Do you help your mother? 2. Does your mother want you to help her? 3. Do you help your mother about the house? 4. Do you help your mother every day? 5. Do girls help their mothers to cook dinner? 6. Can you cook dinner yourself? 7. What can you cook? 8. Can you make soup, borshch, cutlets, omelets, pies? 9. What are your favourite dishes? 10. Why is it bad when a boy (or a girl) does not help his (or her) mother about the house?
//. Speak of how you help your mother about the house.
III.	Speak about:
a)	doing the room;
b)	buying things in the shops;
c)	cooking dinner (breakfast, supper);
d)	helping your little brothers and sisters with their lessons.
A SURE SIGN
(p.15)
I.	Questions.
1.	Who heard the dog howling? 2. What was the dog doing? 3. When was the dog howling? 4. Who said that the dog had been howling? 5. Who said that the dog would die? 6. Why did the man say so?
II.	Retell.
/. Questions.
1.	Where were the three men travelling? 2. How long were they without food? 3. What did one of the men say at last? 4. What did he say he would bring back? 5. Was he going to bring back something to eat? 6. Did the man meet a lion? 7. What did the lion do when it saw a man? 8. What did the man do when the lion rushed at him? 9. In what direction did the man rush? 10. What happened to the man when he ran up to the hut door? 11. Who burst into the hut throught the open door? 12. What did the man do when the lion burst into the hut? 13. What did the man shout to his friends? 14. Were the two men in the hut glad to see the lion inside?
IL Retell.
III.	Make a dialogue.
A DIFFICULT NAME	(p. 16)
/. Questions.
1.	Who asked the man to spell his name? 2. What did the clerk ask the man to do? 3. What did the man do? 4. What did the man say? 5. Who stopped the man? 6. Whom did the clerk stop? 7. What did the clerk ask the man to begin again? 8. What did the man do? 9. What did the clerk do again? 10. What did the clerk ask the man? 11. What did the man answer? 12. What was the man’s name? 13. Can you spell his name? Spell it if you can. 14. Do you know the spelling of all the words you know? 15. Do you know how to improve1 your spelling? 16. He who wants to improve his spelling must copy English texts, mustn’t he?
A SILLY RABBIT	(p. 17)
I. Translate and answer the following questions.
1. У Стива есть кролик? 2. Что есть у Стива? 3. Как зовут кролика? 4. Кто играет с кроликом каждый день? 5. С кем играет Стив каждый день? 6. Когда играет Стив
1 to improve [im'priKv] — улучшать.
с кроликом? 7. Кто держит кролика за уши? 8. Кто видит, что мальчик держит кролика за уши? 9. Что делает Стив время от времени? 10. Что спрашивает Стив? 11. Что говорит мать Стива? 12. Что отвечает Стив? 13. Что говорит учитель? 14. Почему сердится Стив?
II. Retell.
TRYING ТО REMEMBER IT	(р. 17)
/. Questions.
1. Who was spending the afternoon at his aunt’s? 2. What was Bobby doing at his aunt’s? 3. Where was the boy spending the afternoon? 3. Who was standing at the window looking out of it? 5. Who addressed the boy? 6. What did his aunt ask the boy? 7. Who told the boy to remember not to ask for anything to eat? 8. What did Bobby’s mother ask him not to do? 9. What was the boy trying to remember? 10. Was the boy hungry? 11. Did he want to ask his aunt for something to eat? 12. Did the boy’s aunt understand that the boy wanted to eat?
II. Retell.
WHEN DID SOCRATES LIVE?	(p. 18)
/. Questions.
1. Who asked the boy about Socrates? 2. Whom did the teacher ask? 3. What did the teacher ask the boy about? 4. Did the teacher ask the boy about Socrates? 5. The teacher asked the boy about Socrates, didn’t she? 6. Who ordered the pupils to open their history books? 7. What did the teacher order the boys to do? 8. What did the teacher say when the boys opened their books? 9. Did the pupils open their books or copy-books? 10. They opened their history books, didn’t they? 11. Did the pupils open their history books or their English books? 12. Did the pupils know when Socrates lived? 13. What did the boy read? 14. What did he think 469 В. C. stood for?
II. Retell.
I. Questions.
1. Who had been to school for a year and a half? 2. Where had the boy been for a year and a half? 3. Had he been working hard at his arithmetic? 4. Did he come home for his holidays? 5. What did he come home for? 6. When did he come home for his holidays? 7. What was there on the supper table one evening? 8. How many pigeons were cooked for supper? 9. Who thought himself very smart? 10. What did the boy say to his father? 11. Was his father surprised? 12. Did the boy prove that there were three pigeons on the table? 13. What did the boy’s father say? 14. Was the boy really good at arithmetic?
fl. Complete the sentences.
A boy who had been to school ..., and who had been working ... came home one midsummer... . One evening there were two ...; and the boy who thought ..., said to his father, “I can prove to you by arithmetic that those two ... .” “Ah!” said ..., “how do you...?” “Well, this is ..., and that is ...; and, of course, one and two ... .” “How very clever! ...” “Your mother will take the .... I shall eat the ..., and you may have the ... .”
A WITTY PATIENT	(p. 19)
/. Questions.,
1. Who has come to the physician? 2. Who says he is ill? 3. What does the physician ask the patient to do? 4. What does the physician want the patient to show? 5. Who answers that it is of no use? 6. Why do doctors ask their patients to show them the tongue? 7. Does the patient understand the physician correctly? 8. Why is the story called “A Witty Patient”?
If, Retell in Indirect Speech.
THE PRESCRIPTION ON THE DOOR	(p. 20)
I. Questions.
1. Why was the doctor sent for? 2. When did the doctor ask for pen, ink and paper? 3. Why did he ask for all
those things? 4. What was the doctor going to write? 5. Were there any pens, ink and paper in the house? 6. What did the man’s wife do? 7. Why did the doctor grow tired? 8. Did the doctor want to wait any longer? 9. What did the doctor take to write the presription? 10. Was it a piece of brick? 11. On what did the doctor write the prescription? 12. What did he do after he had written the prescription? 13. Could anybody in the house write or read Latin? 14. What did the people do with the door? 15. Where did they bring the door? 16. What did the people get at the chemist’s?
//. Retell.
THE CLOCK THAT WOULD NOT GO	(p. 20)
I. Questions.
1. What was the name of the lady’s husband? 2. What did the lady say to her husband one day? 3. What did the lady want her husband to do? 4. What did the man do? 5. What did he take off? 6. What did he look at? 7. Did the man clean the works? 8. Did the man oil the works? 9. Did the clock go after that? 10. Was the man tired when he went to bed? 11. Why was the man discouraged? 12. When did the man’s wife say that she knew what was wrong with the clock? 13. What was wrong with the clock? 14. What’s the English for стрелки (циферблат, механизм, увеличительное стекло)? 15. What’s the Russian for to make somebody do something (to blow, to wind up, to oil)? II. Retell.
A BEARD AND A KISS	(p. 21)
1. Questions.
1. Who decided to grow a beard? 2. Is it Uncle John who decided to grow a beard? 3. What did Uncle John decide to grow? 4. Is it a beard that Uncle John decided to grow? 5. Does Uncle John try to make his sister’s little daughter kiss him? 6. When does Uncle John try to make his sister’s little daughter kiss him? 7. Who hesitates to kiss Uncle John? 8. Is it the little girl who hesitates to kiss Uncle John? 9. What does the girl’s mother say? 10. Is it the girl’s mother who asks her daughter to kiss Uncle J ohn?
11. What does the girl answer? 12. Why can’t the girl kiss her uncle? 13. Is it the girl who can’t kiss her uncle?
II. Retell in the 1st person singular.
STRATFORD-ON-AVON
(p. 21)
I. Questions.
1. Whom is the story about? 2. Who visited Stratford-on-Avon? 3. Did the young lady like everything she saw there? 4. What did the lady like most of all? 5. What did she think about Shakespeare’s going to London? 6. Was the young lady leaving for London? 7. Did the lady know when Shakespeare lived? 8. What did the young lady think about railways in Shakespeare’s days? 9. Did the lady know much about Shakespeare?
II. Retell.
THE CROWD	(p. 22)
I. Questions.
1. Who was out walking one day? 2. Had Brown a very large family? 3. Were they stopped by a policeman? 4. Was Brown grabbed by the shoulder? 5. Did the policeman grab Brown by the shoulder? 6. Did Brown protest? 7. Had Brown done anything wrong? 8. Did the policeman know what the man had done? 9. Did the policeman want to know why the crowd was following Brown? 10. Did the policeman understand that it was Brown’s family?
II. Retell.
WHY HE WAS LOOKING BLUE	(p. 22)
I. Questions.
1. Who had never heard of Shakespeare? 2. Who said that the fellow had never heard of Shakespeare? 3. What did the writer’s friend say? 4. What did the writer answer? 5. When did Shakespeare live? 6. What Shakespeare’s literary works do you know?
II. Retell.
/. Questions.
1. Who sat on the bench in the park? 2. What was the man doing? 3. Where did the boy lie? 4. What was the boy doing? 5. Whom did the man ask? 6. What was the boy waiting for? 7. What was painted? 8. Who painted the bench? 9. When was the bench painted? 10. Was it good of the boy not to tell the man that the bench was painted?
//. Say it in English.
1. Это хорошо одетый человек. 2. Он одет хорошо. 3. Девочка сидела на скамейке. 4. Скамейка была в парке* 5. Мы наслаждались весенним днём. 6. Мы наслаждаемся весенним днём. 7. Маленький мальчик лежал на траве. 8. Он смотрел на человека, который сидел на скамейке. 9. В чём дело, мальчик? 10. Почему ты не идёшь играть? 11. Я не хочу играть. 12. Почему ты не бегаешь? 13. Я жду, пока вы встанете. 14. Скамейку покрасили 20 минут тому назад.
ALWAYS LAST
(Р-23)
I. Questions.
1. What did the rich father ask his son one day? 2. What did the boy answer? 3. How many pupils were there in the class? 4. How many pupils were there in the class a month later? 5. What did the boy’s father ask his son a month later? 6. What did the boy answer? 7. Did the boy’s answer please his father?
IL Retell.
III. Retell in Indirect Speech.
CLEVER BOBBY
(p.24)
/. Questions.
1. Who was proud of his young son? 2. Whom was Brown proud of? 3. Was Brown’s son young? 4. How old was Brown’s son? 5. Who was talking to a visitor? 6. Whom was Brown talking to? 7. What did Brown want to show
to the visitor? 8. What did Brown take from the bookshelf? 9. Was it a book of natural history? 10. What picture did the father show his son? 11. Was it a picture of a giraffe? 12. Did he show a picture of a tiger? 13. What did the boy say when his father showed him a picture of a lion? (a tiger? a chimpanzee?). 14. Was Brown glad to hear his son’s answers? 15. Why wasn’t he?
II. Retell.
I IL Make dialogues between: a) Brown and the visitor; b) Brown and his son.
SICK-LEAVE
(p.25)
/. Questions.
1. Who came to the surgeon one day? 2. What did a member of a military band do? 3. Why did he come to the surgeon? 4. What did the surgeon say? 5. What did the surgeon give the bandsman? 6. When did the surgeon meet the bandsman? 7. What did the surgeon ask the man when he met him in the street? 8. Did the surgeon ask the man about his throat? 9. What did the man answer? 10. Did the man answer that he was quite well? 11. Did the surgeon allow the man to go back to his duty? 12. Did the surgeon ask the man what instrument he played in the band? 13. What did the bandsman answer? 14. Was the surgeon surprised to hear his answer?
II. Make a dialogue.
WHAT THE BABY WANTED
(p.26)
Retell using the following words and expressions.
1) to travel in a tramcar; 2) to sit opposite; 3) to cry bitterly; 4) to try to calm; 5) to sit next; 6) to turn to somebody; 7) to say angrily; 8) to let somebody have something; 9) to reply quietly; 10) to want something.
A WITTY FARMER
(p. 27)
i. Questions.
1. Is the farmer buying anything at a hardware store?
2. He is buying some things there, isn’t he? 3. Who has many
bicycles to sell? 4. What does the store-keeper want the farmer to buy? 5. He wants the farmer to buy a bicycle, doesn’t he? 6. The store-keeper can sell one to the farmer, can’t he? 7. Does the farmer want to buy a bicycle or a cow? 8. The farmer will not buy a bicycle, will he? 9. The farmer will buy a cow, won’t he? 10. What do people buy bicycles for? 11. What do people buy cows for? 12. What do people buy spoons for? 13. What do people buy books for?
II. Retell.
THE CLERK GROWS A BEARD	(p. 28)
/. Questions.
1. Whom did the manager ask? 2. What did the manager do? 3. What did the manager say to the clerk? 4. What did the manager advise the clerk to do? 5. Where did the manager want the clerk to go? 6. What did the manager want the clerk to do? 7. Did the clerk protest? 8. What did the clerk say? 9. Did the clerk want to grow a beard? 10. What did the manager reply to the clerk’s words “I am growing a beard”? 11. What did the manager not allow the clerk to do during office hours?
II. Retell.
SELLING AN ELEPHANT	(p.28)
I. Questions.
1. Who was selling an elephant? 2. Was it a merchant who was selling an elephant? 3. Was the elephant large? 4. Who came up to the elephant? 5. Did the merchant see the man who was examining the elephant? 6. Did the man examine the elephant carefully? 7. Did the merchant come up to the man and whisper anything in his ear? 8. Did the merchant ask the man not to say anything about the elephant? 9. Did the merchant tell the man that he would make him a present? 10. Did the merchant give the man any present after the elephant had been sold? 11. Did the merchant give the man one-tenth of the price he had got for the elephant? 12. Did the merchant ask the man anything when he was making him a present? 13. Was the man looking for any blemish? 14. Had the man seen an elephant before?
II. Retell on behalf of a) the merchant; b) the man who had never seen an elephant before.
/. Questions.
1. Where were the two men travelling? 2. Where did they stop? 3. What were they going to do at the small inn? 4. What was there on the table? 5. Where was the cup of mustard? 6. Why did John take the mustard? 7. Why did John cry? 8. What did John want Jimmy to do? 9. Was Jimmy caught in the same trap? 10. Did they understand each other?
II. Retell.
NO ALLIGATORS	(p. 30)
I.	Questions.
1.	What looked inviting to the tourist? 2. Where did the tourist come from? 3. What did the tourist do before going to swim? 4. What did the tourist ask his guide? 5. What did the guide reply? 6. Was the guide smiling? 7. What did the tourist do after the guide’s answer? 8. Why were there no alligators? 9. Was the tourist afraid of the alligators? 10. Was the tourist afraid of the sharks?
II.	Retell.
III.	Think of how one may complete the story.
THE SUN AND THE MOON	(p. 31)
I. Questions.
1. Who were arguing one day about the sun and the moon? 2. What were the two men doing one day? 3. What were they arguing about? 4. Were they arguing about the sun and the moon? 5. What did one of them say? 6. Did he say that the moon was quite worth two suns? 7. Why did he say so? 8. Does the moon shine at night? 9. Does the moon shine at night or in the daytime? 10. Does anybody want the moon to shine in the daytime? 11. Why don’t we want the moon to shine in the daytime? 12. Do people want the moon to shine at night? 13. What is brighter, the sun or the moon? 14. What is more useful, the sun or the moon?
II. Retell.
FATHER’S MOTTO	(p.31)
I. Say it in English.
1. Кто проводит беседу с классом? 2. Учительница проводит беседу с классом. 3. Что говорит учительница?
4. Она хочет, чтобы класс запомнил девиз. 5. Что говорит мальчик? 6. Мальчик говорит, что его отец всегда пользуется этим девизом. 7. Кто отец мальчика? 8. Он боксёр.
II. Retell.
ONE SPUR INSTEAD OF TWO	(p. 32)
I.	Questions.
1.	Who was riding a horse one day? 2. What was the gentleman doing one day? 3. Whom did the gentleman meet? 4. What did the gentleman’s friend ask him? 5. What did the gentleman answer his friend?
II.	Retell.
III.	Explain (in Russian or in English) when the given proverbs may be used.
I. Questions.
THE FLOAT
(p. 33)
1.	What did the two friends do one day? 2. Was one of them a good angler? 3. Did the other know much about fishing? 4. Why did he decide to join his friend? 5. Was he going to try his luck? 6. Did he know what floats are used for? 7. What did he say when he saw that his float had sunk? 8. What did his friend answer him? 9. Why did he say he owed his friend for one float? 10. Are you fond of fishing? 11. Do you often go fishing? 12. Do you go fishing in winter?
II. Retell.
THE POET AND THE LADY	(p.34)
/. Questions.
1. Who received a volume of poems? 2. Who sent the volume of poems? 3. Where did the lady put the volume? 4. Were the poems interesting? 5. Did the lady read the poems? 6. What for did the lady put the volume under the leg of the table?
/7. Retell.
THE RICH AND THE LEARNED	(p.34)
7. Questions.
l.What did a rich man ask a learned man? 2. What did the learned man reply? 3. Who were so often to be seen at the doors of the rich? 4. Who were very rarely
seen at the doors of the learned? 5. What did the learned man reply?
II. Ask ten questions in Russian and let pupils answer you in English.
THE BANKER AND THE ARTIST	(p.35)
I. Questions.
1. Whom did the banker beg to do a little thing for his album? 2. Was it a well-known artist? 3. How much did the artist ask for his work? 4. How much time did it take the artist to do the work? 5. How much time did it take the artist to learn how to do it in five minutes? 6. Why could the artist do it in five minutes?
II. Retell.
SAVING COAL	(p.35)
I. Questions.
1. What is the title of the story? 2. Was the housewife economical? 3. Who was told that by using a certain stove one could save half the quantity of coal? 4. Could one save half the quantity of coal by using a certain stove? 5. What did the housewife say? 6. In what way was the housewife going to save coal? 7. What did the housewife want to do? 8. What did the housewife want to save? 9. Why did she want to save coal? 10. What is coal used for? 11. Could the housewife save coal if she had two stoves? 12. Was the housewife clever?
//. Make a dialogue between the economical housewife and a friend of hers who tells her about the new kind of stove.
A GOOD TELEPHONE
(p.36)
I. Fill in the blanks.
Mr. Brown was very proud ... . Once, ... , he said to his friend, Smith ... “This telephone business is ...» I want you ... , and will tell Mrs. Brown (Speaking through the telephone.) My friend Smith ... Now listen and hear how distinctly her reply ... .” Mrs. Brown’s reply came back... “Ask your friend Smith if he thinks we ...?” II. Retell.
III. Make dialogues between a) the two clerks; b) Mr. Brown and his wife.
I. Questions.
1. Who was given orders not to allow people to enter the picture gallery with walking sticks? 2. What kind of orders were they? 3. Who came up to the door with his hands in his pockets? 4. What did the gentleman want to do? 5. Who took the gentleman by the arm? 6. What did the soldier say to the gentleman? 7. What did the gentleman answer? 8. What did the soldier tell the gentleman to do?
II. Give short answers to the following.
1. Was it a soldier who was given orders? 2. Was it a gentleman who was given orders? 3. Was it a gentleman who did not allow anyone to enter the gallery with walking sticks? 4. Was it a soldier who came up to the door with his hands in his pockets? 5. Was it a soldier who was sent back to take his walking stick? 6. Was it a gentleman who had to go home to take his walking stick?
HI. Retell.
“GRATITUDE”	(p.37)
/. Questions.
1. Who has lent some money to the barber’s assistant? 2. What has the tailor lent to the barber’s assistant? 3. Who wanted to show his gratitude to the tailor? 4. What did the barber’s assistant say? 5. What did the barber’s assistant say he would do if all the world turned its back upon the tailor? 6. What did the barber’s assistant say he would do if all the tailor’s relatives forsook him?
II. Retell.
III. Make a dialogue between the tailor and the barber's assistant. Divide the dialogue into two parts:
1) the barber's assistant asks the tailor to lend him some money;
2) the barber's assistant expresses (выражает) his gratitude to the tailor.
WASN’T SHE AFRAID?	(p.38)
I. Questions.
1. Who was going to take a taxi? 2. Was the lady old?
3. What did the lady say to the driver? 4. Where did the
lady want the driver to take her to? 5. Did the lady want the driver to take her to the station? 6. Was the driver polite? 7. Did the driver agree to take the lady to the station? 8. How did the lady want the driver to drive the car? 9. Why was the driver getting angry? 10. Did the driver ask the lady anything? 11. Why did the driver ask the lady about a hospital? 12. Do drivers know how to drive a car? 13. Is everybody allowed to drive a car? 14. Can you drive a car?
II. Retell the text on behalf of a) the old lady; b) the driver.
HE KNEW HIM HOW	(p.39)
I. Retell in the 1st person singular.
II. Questions.
1. What for do we go to the post-office? 2. What do we buy there? 3. What do we receive there? 4. In what street is the nearest post-office you go to? 5. Where do you go if you want to send a telegram (a registered letter)? 6. Where can you buy a stamp (марка)?
A MISTAKE	(p.39)
I.	Questions.
1.	Who had put up at a country inn? 2. How many men had put up at an inn? 3. Who found their bedroom very hot? 4. What did one of the men do? 5. Why did one of the men get up? 6. What did one of the men want to open? 7. Why did one of the men want to open the door? 8. What did one of the men ask? 9. What did the other man reply? 10. Was it raining? 11. Was the night pitch dark? 12. What did the two men discover in the morning?
II.	Say it in English.
1.	Два человека не остановились в гостинице. 2. Один из них не встал, чтобы открыть дверь. 3. Он не лёг в постель. 4. Его товарищ не спросил его ни о чём. 5. Он не ответил. 6. Ночь не была тёмной. 7. В комнате не было запаха сыра. 8. Утром он не обнаружил свою ошибку. 9. Он открыл дверь спальни, а не буфета.
III.	Retell.
Questions.
1.	When does the teacher ask the children about the effects of heat and cold on the body? 2. Who asks the children? 3. Whom does the teacher ask? 4. Does the teacher ask the children about the effects of heat and cold on the body? 5. What does a bright boy answer? 6. Does the teacher ask the pupil to give an example? 7. When are the days longer? 8. When are the days shorter? 9. Was the boy right? 10. Was his example good?
PAVING-STONES	(p.40)
/. Questions.
1.	Who had spent all his life in the country? 2. Where had the village boy spent all his life? 3. Where was the village boy sent once? 4. What had the boy never visited before? 5. What did the dog try to do? 6. What did the boy do? 7. Could he find a loose stone? 8. Were the pavingstones tightly fixed? 8. What did the boy say? 9. Was the boy afraid of the dog? 10. Why do you think that he wasn’t?
11. Retell using the following:
to spend, to send, to visit, to run at, to try, to bite, to look round, to bend, to try, to find, to throw, to be made of, to fix, to find, to be tied up, to be let loose.
CONTENTS
Text Assignment
Selling Soap.................................. 3	41
Tommy’s Drum.................................. 4	—
Father Does Not Eat Hay....................... —	—
A Lost Balloon................................ 5	42
History....................................... 6	—
How Many Times Do They Ring the Bell . .	—	—
He Didn’t Notice It........................... —	—
It Doesn’t Matter............................. 7	43
They Understood It At Last.................... —	—
He’s Going to Be Good Next Time............... 8	—
A Bright Girl................................. 9	—
What Is Mary Doing?........................... —	44
A Barking Dog Does Not Bite................... —	—
Counting Pigs................................ 10	—
A Clever Answer.............................. 11	45
The Horse and the Cart........................ —	—
Wasn’t She Lucky?............................. —	—
Truthfulness................................. 12	—
In a Train Car................................ —	—
An Arctic Explorer........................... 13	46
Jim at Sea.................................... —	—
Too High For Him............................. 14	47
Mother Never Sits Down....................... 15	—
A Sure Sign................................... —	—
A Good Friend................................ 16	48
A Difficult Name.............................. —	—
A Silly Rabbit............................... 17	—
Trying to Remember It......................... —	49
“When Did Socrates Live?”.................... 18	—
One Too Many For Him.......................... —	50
A Witty Patient.............................. 19	—
The Prescription On the Door................. 20	—
The Clock That Would Not Go................... —	51
A Beard and a Kiss........................... 21	—
Stratford-on-Avon............................ 21	52
The Crowd.................................... 22	—
Why He Was Looking Blue....................... —	—
Why He Did Not Run About..................... 23	53
Always Last................................... —	—
Clever Bobby................................  24	—
Sick-Leave .................................. 25	54
What the Baby Wanted......................... 26	—
A Witty Farmer............................... 27	—
The Clerk Grows a Beard...................... 28	55
Selling an Elephant........................... —	—
“What Are You Crying About?”................. 29	56
No Alligators................................ 30	—
The Sun and the Moon......................... 31	—
Father’s Motto................................ —	—
One Spur Instead of Two...................... 32	57
The Float.................................... 33	—
The Poet and the Lady........................ 34	—
The Rich and the Learned...................... —	—
The Banker and the Artist.................... 35	58
Saving Coal................................... —	—
A Good Telephone............................. 36	—
You Must Have a Walking Stick................ 37	59
“Gratitude”................................... —	—
Wasn’t She Afraid?........................... 38	—
He Knew Him Now.............................. 39	60
A Mistake..................................... —	—
Heat and Cold................................. —	61
Paving-stones................................ 40	—
СМЕШНЫЕ РАССКАЗЫ (на англ, яз.) для учащихся VIII—X классов ср. шк.
Редактор Ю. М. Поляков
Обложка художника Е. С, Васильева Художественный редактор И. Л. Волкова Технический редактор Н. Ф. Макарова Корректор О. С. Захарова
Сдано в набор 17/11 1961 г. Подписано к печати 27/IV 1961 г. 84 X IO8V32. Печ. л. 4 (3,28). Уч.-изд. л. 3,08. Тираж 130 тыс. экз.
Заказ № 1928.
Учпедгиз. Москва, 3-й проезд Марьиной рощи, 41.
Ленинградский Совет народного хозяйства. Управление полиграфической промышленности. Типография № 1 «Печатный Двор» имени А. М. Горького. Ленинград, Гатчинская, 26.
Цена 8 коп.