BEING
BENEE'S MUM
A SUPERMUM
FOR A SUPERSTAR

JACINDA
ARDERN

A LETTER TO HER MOTHER

MADELEINE
ALBRIGHT

HILLARY CLINTON:
ON THE WOMAN WHO
PUSHED THE ENVELOPE

Trenchcoats
& heels
8 fabulous looks

F O R

A O T E A R O A

What
mothers
really
want

...more than just a lie in

ADHD

THE DISORDER THAT IS
OVERLOOKED IN GIRLS

MY MOTHER,
MY FRIEND
HERA LINDSAY BIRD

TIME FOR A
CHANGE

NEW MENSTRUAL POLICIES
IN THE WORKPLACE

WELLINGTON

CRUMPET
DAMASCUS

A COMPELLING MIX OF
CULTURE, HISTORY,
NATURE AND CUISINE

FLOWERS MANUELA

SMALL ACORNS

KA U KA U

12

30 The Mother Ode
Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and
poet Hera Lindsay Bird write letters to
their beloved mums

On the cover

34 What Mothers Really Want

Model Pamela Sidhu wears Modern
Times coat by Gloria, $780; Marnie pants by
Twenty-Seven Names, $420; cotton tulle
top, Standard Issue, $195; Minerva gold
pendant by Hailwood, $229; Nostalgia
sleepers by Silk & Steel, $199; Charles
Jourdan Katibe heels, Lineage, $850.

Dr. Kate Prickett argues for a deeper
societal change for mothers in
Aotearoa

36 Just Like Mum Used to Make
Kiwi chefs tell us how their mums
inspired their own cooking

42 Time for a Change
Aroha Awarau talks to Niu FM’s Lusia
Petelo about workplace policies that
can help women deal with
menstruation

48 Fat Chances

Features
12

The Life of a Superstar’s Mum
Benee’s mum talks to Victoria Spence
about her amazing bond with her
daughter and how inspiring her own
mother was

Diabetic Megan Whelan on how
we need to change our view of
fat women

20
48

52 Dead Famous
Fiona Oliver tells the curious tale of
˪˛ˬʾ˔˧˛˘˥˜ˡ˘ˀ˔ˡ˦Ѓ˘˟˗Ϡ˦˛˔˜˥˜˦˜ˡ˧˛˘
National Library of New Zealand

20 Women and ADHD
ADHD is often overlooked in women
and girls and it is severely affecting
their lives, particularly in Aotearoa
By Sally Williams

28 Remembering Madeleine
Hillary Clinton remembers Madeleine
Albright, who inspired her own career

4 | Woman

Credit for this font, Domaine, goes to Klim
Type Foundry, which was founded by Kris
Sowersby in 2005, and is based in Te
Whanganui-a-Tara/Wellington, Aotearoa.
Their foundational ethos is “a thing well made”.

LIMITED EDITION
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Numbers strictly limited
Perfect for Mother’s Day
visit tohuwines.co.nz
Nga hua a te whenua.
Our gift from the land.

One bottle of beautiful Rewa Rosé
with two bespoke flutes in each box

Lifestyle
EDITORIAL TEAM
Editor Susanna Andrew
Art Director Bronwyn MacKenzie
Designers Anna Revell, Matt Dykzeul
Chief Sub-editor Louise Adams
Sub-editor Alison Mudford
Beauty Editor Amy Houlihan
Fashion Editor Anastasia Doniants
Digital Artist Andy Kirkup

54 Fashion
Coats for a cooler climate – and a
cooler look
By Anastasia Doniants

62 Beauty
Amy Houlihan ˢˡ˧˛˘˕˘ˡ˘Ѓ˧˦ˢ˙
face masks and her top picks for
your mum on Mother’s Day

CONTRIBUTORS

70 Food

Louise Adams, Jacinda Ardern, Aroha Awarau,
Hinemoana Baker, Niki Bezzant, Hillary Clinton,
Colleen Coffey, Monique Fiso, Alexa Hill, Abbie
Jury, Anne Kennedy, Dr Renee Liang, Hera Lindsay
Bird, Moana Maniapoto, Angela Meyer, Clare
Moleta, Stacey Morrison, Tamar Münch, Fiona
Oliver, Kate Prickett, Lily Richards, Josie Shapiro,
Yael Shochat, Victoria Spence, Ruth Spencer,
Sophie Steevens, Rikki Swannell, Jindra Tichý,
Alexander Tylee, Megan Whelan, Sally Williams

54

Sophie Steevens shares healthy
plant-based recipes from her new
cookbook

82 Books
Q&A with Clare Moleta, Anne
Kennedy reviews Unsheltered, Josie
Shapiro’s Mother’s Day picks, and
Jindra Tichý’s new memoir

GROUP PROPRIETOR
Greg Partington

98 Art
Artist Anna Evans shares her
process and why she uses Resene
acrylics

100 Travel
Bula! It’s time to go back to our
favourite international destination

106 Astrology
Your reading for the month ahead
with Colleen Coffey

70

Brain teasers, crosswords and more

Columns
10 Stacey Morrison

ADVERTISING

ˆ˧˔˖˘ˬ˥˘Є˘˖˧˦ˢˡ˧˛˘˝ˢˬ˔ˡ˗
importance of kapa haka

A crafty pursuit goes awry when
prehistoric creatures get involved

46 I Am Your Body

112 Entertainment
Tamar Münch and Lily Richards give
us their picks for the month

100

General Manager Lisa Hay

CONTENT

40 Ruth Spencer
108 Puzzles

COMMERCIAL

Dr Renee Liang investigates a part of
your body that hides in plain sight

68 Health
Niki BezzantЃˡ˗˦˧˛˘˕˘˦˧˔ˣˣ˦˧ˢ˛˘˟ˣ
your mental and physical health

78 Music
Victoria Spence curates a playlist that
celebrate motherhood

92 Sport
Rikki Swannell on sports’ role in politics

94 Gardening
Abbie Jury ˥˘Є˘˖˧˦ˢˡ˧˛˘˦˧ˢ˥ˠ˧˛˔˧
nearly destroyed her entire garden

104 Finance
Angela Meyer says we need to be each
other’s FBFs - Financial Best Friends

General Manager Susan Browne

Auckland Sales Manager Kim Blewett
Wellington & Christchurch
Sales Manager Heidi Van Wheeler

Marketing Coordinator Olivia Jackson
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Published by School Road Publishing
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ISSN 2703-6421
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Protect the ones you love
so they can keep doing
what they love
School holidays are a great time to get your
school-aged tamariki immunised against COVID-19.
As a parent, you’re likely to have questions about the vaccine
and what it could mean for your whānau.
We’re here to help you get the answers and information you need.

Call 0800 28 29 26 to chat with someone who can
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Covid19.govt.nz/tamariki

EDITOR’S LETTER

nā Susanna

‘I

lost no time, of course, in
telling my mother all that I
knew, and we saw ourselves at
once in a difficult and
dangerous position.”
This sentence from Treasure
Island tells you two things; telling
your mother might not solve
anything, but it might change the
way the story turns out. If you read
the Prime Minister’s letter to her
mother you’ll know what I mean.
Welcome to the Mother Issue. We
feature some pretty impressive
women who are also mothers
– among them are Madeleine
Albright and Jacinda Ardern,
women who have done outstanding
things. Jindra Tichý, who escaped a labour camp in Czechoslovakia with her
son; Dame June Jackson, to whom we pay tribute. All have lived incredible
lives in pursuit of the truth and as advocates for others.
Combining work and motherhood is one of the hardest jobs and that’s
why Kate Prickett from Victoria University is arguing for more societal
change. Breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day is lovely, but what would make a
real, daily difference is better policies to support working mothers.
When Tania Anderson went into motherhood with Stella (Kiwi pop
sensation Benee) she just imagined they would be close (spoiler alert – they
are!) but she knows that’s not always the case and cherishes what she has,
being Mumager.
Speaking of singing – our monthly playlists are beautifully curated by
Victoria Spence for your enjoyment. Plug in your speakers and listen to The
Mother Mix while reading her collation of songs on motherhood.
Spinning 10 plates in the air while reading emails, catching up on Twitter
and shopping for dinner is applauded as the prerogative of the modern
woman ever since the word “multitasking” was assigned as a strength to
our gender. Now we know it’s also one of the reasons ADHD has been
woefully under-diagnosed in women for the last 20 years. An everincreasing number of young women are seeking help to understand a
condition that can make life more of a battlefield than it needs to be.
My own gorgeous mother is 96 and she once told me that after raising her
eight children, she never took sleep for granted. It’s true that these days she
finds a patch of sun as an instant invitation to nap but I never knew what her
sleep sacrifices really meant until I too was a mother.
New Zealand poet Mary Stanley said it best:
Night puts
an ear on silence where
a child may cry.
When I asked our Prime Minister if she would write a public letter to her
mother, she came through with so much honesty and so much love that, be
warned, it might make you cry. But that’s okay, for as Poet Hera Lindsay
Bird says, “apart from Mother’s Day, the only other time anyone invites you
to write nice things about your mother is in an obituary”.
Thank you, Mum, I love you!

Susanna Andrew, Editor
8 | Woman

1

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Eating flowers
Jojo arrives in her four-wheel drive
gripping kai from the bakery
pours the kettle
arranges pizza slices like flowers

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I move my lips
teeth follow them
this is how I chew
stay alive

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Serie Barford
Woman | 9

10 | Woman

TE REO

Māori

K

PHOTO: ALAMY.

ei te pēhea koe? Kei te pai koe? How are
you? Are you okay? It’s been such a
strange time that I feel the desire to ask,
even if it has to be a ui makihoi –
rhetorical question, as I’m asking you
from this page. I’ve noticed as the pandemic goes on,
people are stretched and sometimes forget to ask how
others are. It’s understandable, but I always
appreciate a genuine “Kei te pēhea koe”. Kei te pai
mātou ko taku whānau – my whānau and I are okay,
although we’ve had a brush with Covid, as many of you
reading this will have.
Amazingly, though, two of our kids managed an
awesome feat, along with thousands of other Auckland
teens, and it provided this māmā with such a boost.
The Polyfest cultural festival began in 1992, and in
pre-Covid times would welcome up to 100,000 visitors
to watch the events on 10 or so stages that became
mini-villages, representing each culture involved.
This year, no crowds were allowed, so parents and
whānau were watching the live stream or the Te Reo
channel, our eyes welling up with proud tears. It’s
always emotional watching your kids express their
culture, but this year it was a particularly impressive
watch considering the massive effort from all schools
who managed to put together performances despite
high Covid case numbers among students and tutors.
My daughter is in Year 9, so this was her first
Polyfest experience, and her school often wins the
competition, even the national title at times, so they
practise like true professionals. Twenty-two hours in a
weekend, early in Term One, rapidly builds
whanaungatanga – relationships, diligence and
stamina. I was amazed I didn’t hear one amuamu
(complaint) from her, either.
Such is the joy that kapa haka brings. Kapa means
team and also row or line, and I’m sure you already
know the meaning of haka. If you’re a regular reader of
this column, you’ll hopefully remember me warning
against saying, “kapa haka team”, because that means

THE POLYFEST
CULTURAL
FESTIVAL BEGAN
IN 1992, AND IN
PRE-COVID TIMES
STACEY
MORRISON
Best Columnist

Magazine Media Awards 2021

WOULD WELCOME
UP TO 100,000
VISITORS.

“haka team, team!” – “kapa haka” is just fine by itself.
There are other handy haka terms you’ll often hear,
especially if your kids take the stage. There are a
number of words used for the leader of the group –
Kaea being one, also Kaitātaki tāne – male leader,
Kaitātaki wahine – female leader. The term Manukura
is also used for leader of the kapa at times.
When it comes to competitions, there’s usually a set
format for the performance that each kapa follows and
is judged on. The Waiata tira – choral, is often the first
number, and a warm-up of sorts. Then the kapa will
leave the stage and every aspect of their move back on
stage is the whakaeke – entrance. The mōteatea, or
traditional chant, follows, along with waiata ā-ringa –
action song, poi and haka.
There are many different types of haka, some with
weapons and some not. The lyrics often present social
commentary or a challenge, and the strength of those
words and their delivery are also judged. The
whakawātea, or exit, is the last part of the
performance and the choreography is intricate, with
split-second precision and style. The top high school
groups could foot it at Te Matatini – the (adult)
national kapa haka festival. That’s on in Auckland
next year, named by Professor Wharehuia Milroy, with
te mata – the face – and tini, meaning many, coming
together to mean “the many faces”.
My face, as I watched my children, was full of
emotion, pride and gratitude that our tupuna
(ancestors) ensured this generation still has this
unique and spiritual way of expressing themselves.

Many faces
many stages
Reflecting on Polyfest, Stacey shares the joys of kapa haka.
Woman | 11

Few superstars want to
take their mothers on
tour, but for Benee’s
mum, Tania Anderson,
it’s a paid role she loves,
writes Victoria Spence.
12 | Woman

FEATURE

kōrero motuhake

STELLAR

performance
Woman | 13

B
“I WAS MOTHERED BY AN
ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS
WOMAN . . . I’M ONE OF
FIVE GIRLS, AND WE
ADORED OUR MOTHER.
SHE WAS A NURSE AND A
REAL EMPATH.”

Tania wears the
Dorian shirt by
Gloria, $420.
Bracelet by Husky
Beads from That
Looks Shop, $70.
Benee wears the
Ocean necklace by
Delilah Jewellery
from That Looks
Shop, $190.

14 | Woman

enee’s personal assistant has her feet
up on my couch and is being very nice
about the aromatic presence of the
resident terrier.
Tania Anderson is here to talk
about life, love, dogs and Benee, the
22-year-old superstar she works with.
An entertainment-industry native who has worked as
a voice-over artist, actor, singer, producer, tour
manager and driver, Tania is ideally qualified to guide
a young pop star through the showbiz maelstrom. She
also gave birth to Benee, so there’s that.
This is a proper job, too, not a tongue-in-cheek
descriptor to justify Mum being on the tour bus.
Benee, known to her PA as Stella/Darling/Babe, issued
an ultimatum that if Tania didn’t agree to be paid for
the work she was doing, she’d get someone else to do
it. The timing was good because when the borders
closed as a result of the Covid pandemic, Tania’s
language-teaching work dried up, so, drawing on
decades of experience, she stepped into the role of a
lifetime. Both hers and Stella’s.
There’s no mother-daughter pathology here. Tania
throws her hands in the air at the very thought.
“I never had a mother-daughter thing! What even is
that? I suppose I went into motherhood with Stella just
imagining we would be adoring and
close. I know that’s not always the case,
but that was my expectation.”
Starting at the beginning, Tania
credits her parents with her own happy
childhood, describing her mother, in
particular, in tender terms.
“I was mothered by an absolutely
gorgeous woman, and her mother was
gorgeous as well. I’m one of five girls,
and we adored our mother. She was a
nurse and a real empath, all love, all
care. She was just divine.”
There is sadness here because her
mother was taken from her in a cruel
and incremental way as a result of
dementia. Stella internalised the toll
this took on the family and worries she
will also lose her mother this way.
Tania observes, “Stella’s terrified of
me forgetting anything . . . ‘You can’t get
dementia, Mum. I can’t go on if you get
dementia.’ ” She wryly reflects on the
huge responsibility of being a parent
and the pressure to “have to be alive
and onto it all the time!”
This was a family who valued rugged
individualism and welcomed a good
debate. “I’m a feisty woman with a lot of
sisters and we had to be outspoken. We
were expected to have our own opinions
and Dad liked a good argument!”
Growing up surrounded by strong
women has rubbed off on Stella, says
Tania. “She’s definitely had it modelled

Woman | 15

Tania wears the
Witches dress
by Gloria, $490.

16 | Woman

– my girlfriends are strong, my sisters are strong. So,
she was never afraid to speak her mind and be her own
person. I think that’s what it’s got to be, it’s better to
make it on your own terms.”
Hinting at the source of her daughter’s talent, there
Tania credits
was also music growing up. Tania’s earliest musical
her parents with
memory is her mother’s beautiful voice singing
giving her a
Amazing Grace. Describing her own singing as “a very
happy childhood,
serious hobby”, Tania has shared her alto voice with
and her beloved
mum, Edythe,
Auckland’s Jubilation gospel choir since 2007.
(below) has been
Seemingly at odds with her irrepressible nature,
an inspiration
Tania admits, “I do get very nervous singing by myself
on Tania’s own
– I prefer singing in a choir where the spotlight’s not on parenting style.
you. The fear of wanting to be good
at something and then going flat is
so awful. When you hit a bum note,
everyone knows it. I don’t feel that
when I’m acting at all because in
film or TV you can go back and do
it again.”
Even as a seasoned performer,
Tania grappled with nerves on her
daughter’s behalf. “She won the
singing cup at high school, but I
could scarcely concentrate
because I was sick with anxiety.
With her first big performances, I
had to lurk out the back so I didn’t
put her off.” Ever the producer, she
laughs, “It’s gotten better, but I’m
very aware of everything that’s
going on in terms of sound and
lighting, and I can’t bear it when
something’s not doing her justice.”
“ALL I WANT AT
There’s now a reassuring phalanx
THE END OF THIS
of talented support around Stella
– from her management through to
IS A PHYSICALLY,
her tight-knit band. “The band are
incredible professionals, they’re
EMOTIONALLY,
great musicians, and the amazing
CREATIVELY,
technical team are a supportive
force as well. We are very fortunate
SPIRITUALLY
with everyone, they’re great mates.”
INTACT CHILD.”
And, of course, there’s Tania, who,
as something of a lifer in Tāmaki
Makaurau’s creative community,
has earned her seat at the table.
The formidable mother-anddaughter team generally agree on most things. “My
role is to just make it [she pauses] easier for her. To
make life easier for her and be a bit of a buffer between
her and the rest of the industry machinery. This is a
hell of a lot to take on as a young person, and I always
have her back. It’s also harder to say ‘no’ to two of us!”
Tania’s phone buzzes and it’s Stella calling in,
“Speak of the devil. Hi, Babe!” What follows is Tania as
“Momager” in action, den-mother-in-chief. The
conversation darts around family diplomacy, tour
logistics, Covid protocols and then a quick debrief

about Tania’s hairstyle today. Stella’s voice chimes out
of the phone, “Soooo cuuuuute, it suits you!” After an
emotional farewell to her hound two days earlier, Stella
is needing a dog update – who was walked, who did and
didn’t behave – and the reassurance that all is well in
the menagerie. The band are in the van travelling to
the airport to fly from Sydney to Canberra, part of a
whistle-stop Australian tour playing to packed venues.
It’s a normal chat for this mother and daughter, but it’s
not so normal for the average 22-year-old to be
navigating this life.
In 2018, Tania and Stella were in New York to meet
prospective record labels lining up to court the young
artist. As 18-year-old Stella wowed
the boardroom at Republic
Records, Tania observed just how
much they wanted to win her
daughter over, appreciating that
this was a rare thing. Evidently,
Stella was going to be BIG, but
there were no stars in Tania’s eyes
when she collared one of the
executives and sent a clear
message – “All I want at the end of
this is a physically, emotionally,
creatively, spiritually intact child.”
This wasn’t just a protective
parent talking. In the before-Benee
years, Tania ploughed her creative
force into some inspired
community health initiatives, so
she knew what she was talking
about at that NYC meeting.
Mind Over Manner (MOM), founded by friend Susan
Haldane, is a theatre-inspired charity that aims to
strengthen communication with neuro-diverse kids.
Anti-bullying workshops in schools further the
charity’s goal to ignite social change. For years, Tania
acted in role-plays and workshops to help reframe
perceptions of behaviour. “Basically, MOM’s
workshops help teachers, parents or caregivers
understand where certain behaviours originate and
how to manage them. In the classroom, it might be
tempting to say, ‘That kid’s the naughty kid.’ That kid
might be the one who can’t read properly or who is
having a huge problem with the way this room is set
up or can’t concentrate because they can hear
something ticking behind the wall. That is going to
affect their learning.”
Tania describes being blown away when son Oli
introduced her to the all-ages, all-abilities world of
Circability, an organisation providing circus lessons
and workshops, focusing on the power of inclusion.
Oli’s circus troupe was diverse and inclusive – the lead
actor had cerebral palsy, and the other performers
were mental health survivors, Down syndrome kids,
neurotypical kids and people from the deaf
community. “It’s about including everybody, giving
everybody the chance to have self-expression and

Woman | 17

18 | Woman

supporting them. These parents have incredible
behavioural and physical health challenges thrown on
top of that. It broke my heart to hear about one kid
who had never been invited to a birthday party or even
a play-date – small things we just take for granted.”
Tania describes herself as both fortunate and
imperfect, carefully sidestepping the praise and
admiration that she gets as the mother of a famous
kid. She’s painfully aware of how corrosive poverty or
disability can be to children and their families.
“So many parents are doing an amazing job in tough
circumstances. Some of the parents I’ve spoken to
over the years . . . I weep for them. They’re arming
themselves with information and doing everything
they possibly can. Some people have said to me, ‘Wow,
your child is so successful, you must be a great parent.’

PHOTOS: OLIVIA RENOUF, SUPPLIED.

creative output.” That first circus show sparked such a
deep connection that Tania spent nine years on the
Circability board, stepping down only recently.
Serendipity struck again when a wrong turn on the
way to help out on a school trip led Tania to Ambury
Park’s Riding for the Disabled. Her strong social
justice instinct collided with her love of horses, and
she was hooked. Her years of volunteering there
convinced her of the social and emotional benefits of
physical therapy.
On a recent visit to Dame Hinewehi Mohi’s
Raukatauri Music Therapy Centre, Tania was further
struck by the inequities faced by parents with kids
who live with one or more disabilities. “It’s hard work
being a parent keeping your house together, keeping
your kids happy, keeping them fed and financially

“I’M VERY LUCKY
AND FORTUNATE.
I’VE BEEN A GOOD
MOTHER, BUT I
HAVEN’T BEEN A
GREAT MOTHER AT
EVERY MOMENT
– NOBODY HAS!”

No. I’m very lucky and fortunate. I’ve been a good
mother, but I haven’t been a great mother at every
moment – nobody has!”
The skein of kindness runs from mother to
daughter, and Stella channels her love of animals into
volunteering at a dog shelter. Her beloved rescue kurī,
Tūī, has been on hand (paw) with emotional support
during the hard times of the Covid pandemic. Just
when a blossoming musician should be communing
with her audience, Stella found herself isolated and
untethered from the joy of performing. Online
platform TikTok provided global exposure during
lockdown (even J.Lo danced about to Benee), but
social media fame came with a nasty sting in its tail.
“I think it’s because a lot of TikTokkers are really
young. They’re 13 or 14 and they don’t realise that

Above: Stella with
her mum and her
beloved rescue
˞˨˥͵ʟˇΩ͵ʟ˪˛ˢ
has provided her
with immense
emotional support.

when you put something out there, it does have
an effect. It’s taking other people down instead
of building them up. What a sad way of looking at
the world.”
This is where the maternal instinct kicks in and
Tania’s mettle shows. “Sometimes, you can’t look,
because people can be downright vile. When it’s your
child and you’re reading it – imagine it, it kills you. You
want to protect them and go out and slay those
dragons!” Stella, truly her mother’s daughter, clapped
back with positive discussions about mental health
(she’ll even share that Tūī the dog is on Prozac). Tania
admires Stella’s vulnerability and openness, saying,
“She’s a real person, she’s not pretending to be
anything she’s not. She’s not hiding behind anything
– what you see is what you get, and she’s got a good
soul. She’s a kind, loving person.”
There’s no handy instruction manual for parenting a
famous child, so Tania processes things by taking the
whānau dog pack to the beach and walking it out.
Tania muses, “My life has changed so dramatically in
the last couple of years. I was walking the dogs the
other day, thinking about what the next phase is going
to look like, in terms of managing all our households
and all the bloody dogs and cats. I try not to project
too far ahead as it’s overwhelming and I lose sleep. It’s
exciting, but it’s not normal!”
For now, Tania’s focus is keeping the show on the
road, as the whole family unit prepares to go on tour in
Europe and America. It’s years away from soccer
matches and water-polo training (Tania is the only
woman I’ve ever met who says, totally straight-faced,
that she misses Saturday morning sports), but the
kaupapa remains the same. Tania distils it down to
this simple formula: “You just have to be there. And be
there. And be there.”

Woman | 19

FEATURE

kōrero motuhake

ADHD
AND
WOMEN

THE HIDDEN
EPIDEMIC

Impulsive? Disorganised?
Easily distracted? Attention
deficit hyperactivity
disorder is a condition
usually associated with
young boys. But a new
generation of women are
belatedly getting a
diagnosis – and finally
making sense of their lives.

20 | Woman

PHOTO: INSTAGRAM
Jess Joy, left, and Charlotte Mia, both 28, run an online
platform for people like them who have ADHD.

W

hen Charlotte Mia, 28, was studying graphic
design at the University of Plymouth, she always
set out to hand in her work on time, but she’d
get diverted. First, she’d chat to other students
and get caught up in their amazing projects.
Next, she’d have an urge to pour a glass of water, open a window,
tidy her room – all important for a good working environment, or
so she told herself. Finally, despite her best intentions, she’d give
up and go out.
There were other struggles. She’d forget to go to lectures or to
plan meals. “I ate a lot of instant food, like noodle pots,” Charlotte
says now. She’d lose her keys again and again and had real
difficulty remembering to pay her rent.
“Everyone else seemed to be managing completely fine, but for
me it was so much harder and I didn’t know why.” She googled
memory loss. She felt like a failure and drank “far too heavily”.
A saving grace was meeting Jess Joy, 28, who was studying fine
art at Plymouth College of Art. Like Charlotte, she was battling
headwinds that were limiting her potential. “I’d always leave things
to the last minute,” she says. “I desperately wanted to manage, but
always felt I was playing catch-up. I struggled a lot in my first year.
My mental health was in an absolute state.”
She had insomnia, hardly left her room, couldn’t be bothered to
shower. The two became close friends. “We’d sneak off early from
nights out and go and sit in my room in the dark, trying to wind
down,” says Charlotte. “We tried to fit in and make friends, but the
environment was just so loud and overwhelming.”
In 2018, they were still working out their place in the world,
wondering if a “normal” life would ever be attainable. Charlotte
had a job as a graphic designer in Brighton. She’d worked there for
two years and was part of a small team. “But my mum got ill and
my five-year relationship ended, and I started to turn up late, miss
emails, make careless mistakes.” Jess was in a similar position.
She’d been “let go” from her office job. She now finds the idea that
she could fulfil an admin role “laughable”.
One evening, Charlotte called Jess. They each sat on their
respective sofas, crying. They discussed Twitter posts to cheer
themselves up. One account struck a chord: Black Girl, Lost Keys.
They spent the next few days on Twitter researching. It all started
to click into place.
Jess and Charlotte have ADHD: attention deficit hyperactivity
disorder. Charlotte was shocked: “I didn’t know women or girls
could have it.”
ADHD is a cognitive disorder rooted in a disruption of the
self-management system of the brain – the part that allows us to

Woman | 21

organise, plan, focus, and manage emotions. There are three
subtypes: hyperactive and impulsive, inattentive, and combined.
ADHD is different for each person, but the main symptoms include
difficulty starting and finishing tasks; being disorganised and
distracted easily; losing things; zoning out of conversations;
impulsivity; time blindness. Children and adults with ADHD are
often exquisitely sensitive and feel emotions intensely. Some are
hypersensitive to touch, sounds, light, even tags on clothing.
The condition has nothing to do with intellectual ability. People
with ADHD often have high IQs. Many are exceptionally creative,
charismatic and think outside the box. They also have an uncanny
ability to “hyperfocus” on things that really grab their interest.
But fitting into a world that rewards concentration and focus can
be hard. ADHD is associated with poor educational performance,
difficulty finding and keeping employment, higher divorce rates,
traffic accidents, substance misuse, and criminality. It often comes
with a side order of depression and anxiety. Adults with ADHD are
much more likely to have attempted suicide than those without,
according to research published in 2020.
“It should be taken very seriously,” says Dr Rob
Baskind, a consultant psychiatrist and specialist
in adult ADHD. “It is very debilitating,
particularly if undiagnosed.”
Which is why early intervention is key. “People
think ADHD only exists in naughty boys,” Rob
says. In other words, it’s thought of as a
behavioural problem. In fact, it’s a biological and
cognitive disorder you are likely to have been born with. Scientists
estimate that ADHD is about 70 percent inheritable. This puts it up
there with traits such as blood pressure, height and weight.
So why is the kind of person who has ADHD assumed to be male
and under 10? Because the manual experts first used to diagnose
ADHD in the early ’80s was mainly based on studies of boys.
“If you’re using mostly boys to define the diagnostic criteria, and
you are then using the diagnostic criteria to
define who has ADHD, you’ll be finding mostly
boys,” says Dr Joanna Martin, an ADHD
specialist at Cardiff University.
Girls, experts suggest, are more likely to have
the inattentive subtype; in other words, appear
dreamy and scatterbrained – qualities that, of
course, are acceptable for girls and don’t ring
alarm bells in any obvious way. Women also talk
of hyperactivity being internal – having 1000
different ideas crowding in your head at the
same time. A fidgety brain, rather than body.
“But parents and teachers can’t observe a
child’s hyperactive thoughts,” says Joanna.
“The question is: can a child sit still and
concentrate? We know there are girls who are
not getting diagnosed who should be.”
According to her studies, between three and
four boys have ADHD for every girl. But in
treatment clinics the rate is higher: seven to
eight boys for every girl. “That suggests girls are not getting to the
clinics, not getting referred, not getting diagnosed. Girls are not
getting the treatment and support in school that they need.”
That means girls are missing out, and so, it follows, are women. “It
means women have no idea they have ADHD – they have never
associated their struggles with ADHD and neither have clinicians,”
says Michelle Beckett, 49, who was diagnosed with ADHD five years

‘People think
ADHD only exists
in naughty boys,’
Rob says. In other
words, it’s a
behavioural
problem. In fact,
it’s a biological and
cognitive disorder
you are likely
to have been
born with.

22 | Woman

ADHD in Aotearoa

T

he way to an ADHD diagnosis for
women in Aotearoa is expensive
and lengthy. Recently Greens MP

Chlöe Swarbrick opened up to the
media about her own journey through
the health system.
“If you designed a system that was
navigable for somebody with ADHD, it
would not look like the one we currently
have,” she says.
We talked to three women from
Aotearoa who walked the long road to
get help and found their lives changed
for the better.

Hinemoana Baker

PHOTO: SUPPLIED

The award-winning writer and poet
answered our questions about her
experience with ADHD.
I sought a diagnosis in 2014 when I
stopped being able to read. I was almost
completely incapable of focusing on
anything longer than a paragraph. I
thought it would pass, but it didn’t – it got
worse. As time went on, I stopped being
able to concentrate almost completely.
It spread into being unable to write as
well, which was really distressing as I had
a writing residency to start that year and
then another one in 2015-16 in Berlin.
I have since read and heard about how
girls and women with ADHD often learn
many masking and coping strategies that
make it as invisible as possible, most of
the time, at least from the outside. Then
something major happens, a trauma or
grief or big stress, and all those coping
strategies fall away and ADHD kind of
takes over their lives.
That is what happened to me in 2014.
My 10-year relationship ended, and in
2015, a rebound one also ended. Things
compounded when I travelled to Berlin
for the writer’s residency and got very sick
on the way over. That illness lasted for a
couple of years, and is still not entirely
gone.
All of that, plus my mother’s death, the
death of her two sisters, the loss of my
job and two big relationships in the same
year meant that by the end of 2018, I was a
bit of a wreck. My ADHD really came even
more to the fore then, although at the time
I had no idea that was the problem.
Not only could I not read or write, but
˔˟˦ˢʼ˪˔˦˧˘˥˥˜Ѓ˘˗ˢ˙ˢˣ˘ˡ˜ˡ˚˔ˡˬˠ˔˜˟ʟ

Award-winning writer and poet Hinemoana Baker.

and was almost paralysed with fear when
having to deal with anything bureaucratic
– and there is a lot of bureaucratic stuff
to deal with in Germany. In addition, I
couldn’t keep my room tidy. The most
basic things, dishes and laundry, were
completely beyond me. I still had no idea
why. I thought it was depression and
anxiety, which I have had since I was a
teenager and been medicated for since
my late 30s. And I guess maybe some of
it was.
My proper diagnosis came in 2019 when
I got the opportunity to begin a PhD at
Potsdam University. I knew there was no
way I could even attempt something like
this without getting help with my reading
and writing situation. I was able to access
a counsellor/therapist through my health
insurance here. It sounds like a ridiculous
coincidence, but she also just happened
to be an expert on ADHD, particularly how
it presents differently in girls and women.
When I described what I was struggling
with, she immediately asked if I had ever

explained that they have a similar action
to Ritalin, and in almost every case, people
˪˜˧˛ʴʷʻʷЃˡ˗˧˛˘ˠ˧ˢ˕˘˖˔˟ˠ˜ˡ˚˥˔˧˛˘˥
than stimulating. I didn’t have experience
with either drug. She then took me through
a very long, very detailed questionnaire
in German about my childhood, teens,
˔ˡ˗˖˨˥˥˘ˡ˧˗˜˙Ѓ˖˨˟˧˜˘˦ʡˇ˛˘˥˘˦˨˟˧˦˪˘˥˘
˖˟˘˔˥ϝʼ˗˘Ѓˡ˜˧˘˟ˬ˛˔˩˘ʴʷʻʷϝ˪˜˧˛˧˛˘
“hyperactivity” presenting, as it often
does in non-men, as self-destructive
behaviours such as nail-biting. I had
always thought my habitual nail and
cuticle annihilation was anxiety-related.
She sent me to a psychiatrist (again
covered by my health insurance). The
psychiatrist prescribed bog-standard
Ritalin, and within days my life changed. I
was able to read and follow the detailed
and complicated instructions that came
with enrolling in post-graduate education
here. I attended all the necessary sessions
and I was making a relatively good start
with my thesis writing and planning. I
could tidy my room and open letters

been tested for it, and I said no. She then
asked if I had ever done cocaine or speed,
which I thought was an odd question. She

again. Things were looking up until the
pandemic, but that’s a problem that even
Ritalin can’t solve.

Woman | 23

ago and founded the charity ADHD Action. “I went through decades
with potential I couldn’t quite realise . . . I struggled with depression
and anxiety. I’ve been suicidal. And it was ADHD all along.”
Lucy Clement, 42, is a GP who lives in Leeds with her husband,
Chris, 43, an electrical engineer, and their two children, Daisy, 11, and
Max, nine. She did well at school. “My mum and dad are teachers, very
structured people, and they also knew how education
worked. My mum gave up work for seven years to bring
up me and my brother and she was completely devoted
to us.” She was reading at two, “flew” through primary
school, “loved” secondary school. Looking back, she
says her success was the product of a restless mind. “I
have this constant need to feed my brain.”
Things started to unravel when she went to read
medicine at the University of Liverpool in 1997. “I went
from being the biggest swot in the entire world to the
least disciplined person ever. I absolutely could not
prioritise work over play. I did hardly any work at all.”
Her room was a “disgusting” mess, she says. “I even
bought a double bed once, just so I could put stuff on
one side and sleep on the other.”
She failed her first-year exams. “I’d never failed an
exam!” She blamed her parents. “I said, ‘You didn’t
make me independent enough. It’s your fault I went
wrong at university.’ ”
She resat her exams, passed, and went on to
graduate and qualify as a GP in 2013. She met her husband in 2007.
“He realised I was this quite scatty girl who lived each day as it came. I
think he enjoyed that. I was spontaneous, fun. He couldn’t believe he’d
met this high-earning person who had no savings. I’d spend it! I’d go
out and eat and have fun.”
Lucy bought a house in 2005. Three years later, Chris moved in.
“He’d get exasperated. Why haven’t you paid these bills? Why aren’t
you opening your post? I was so overwhelmed by bills, I didn’t open
the post until a red one came through. I knew I had to open that one
because it would say ‘final warning’.”
Daisy was born in 2010; Max in 2012. Lucy went back to work
part-time: three days as a GP, two at home. “I love my job and I could
do that fine, no problem. And yet at home, I couldn’t keep anything
tidy. I was the most disorganised mum. Always the one forgetting
nappies and raincoats.”
By 2017, when she was 37, both her children were at school full-time.
“I thought, this is the moment I’m going to become the perfect
housewife. No excuses now. I hated my days off. I’d look around and
get so overwhelmed. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get on top
of stuff. I’d get to the point where I’d look around and go, ‘What am I
doing? How do I finish this?’ And what I’d do is run a bath. I’d feel
calm, feel the warmth. You can’t do anything when you’re in the bath.
And that would happen most days when I was off. About one or two in
the afternoon, I’d get in the bath.”
She bought self-help books and devised programmes. “But I
couldn’t sustain it. It would all go wrong again and I’d feel really
rubbish about myself.”
In 2017, she was assigned a life coach through an NHS scheme to
support primary-care workers. “It’s meant to be about leadership,
but I kept talking about my kitchen cupboards. I remember saying
other people seem to be able to do things as easily as they can
breathe.” Be organised, plan, structure a day, create a routine. “And I
just couldn’t.”
In 2019, when she was nearly 40, she signed up for NHS England’s
Supporting Mentors Scheme, where experienced GPs support more

24 | Woman

PHOTOS: GETTY. THIS ARTICLE FIRST APPEARED IN THE TIMES BY SALLY WILLIAMS. REPRODUCED UNDER LICENCE.

When dealing with ADHD,
women are also battling
society’s expectations.
‘We’re not supposed to be
bad at washing up or forget
people’s birthdays,’ says
Michelle. This is why ‘the
shame and damage to selfesteem is particularly acute
in women.’

junior doctors. Lucy was paired with Adrian, an established GP.
“In the first meeting he said, ‘The interesting thing about me is I
have ADHD.’ I was like, ‘Oh, really.’ I wasn’t at all interested.”
She was more worried about her brain and why she was so forgetful.
In the fourth session, after a particularly difficult week, she broke
down. “What’s wrong with me?” she asked.
Adrian suggested she had ADHD. “He made me do a questionnaire
then and there, and I just burst into tears. I carried on reading about
it that evening, and I haven’t stopped reading about it since. I had this
enormous penny-dropping moment. I spent the whole week looking
back on my life with this new lens, either laughing or crying.”
She was formally diagnosed three months later. “Some could argue
my ADHD is mild. But come to my house. Try to get in my car. Don’t
go into my handbag. Don’t come into my brain. You really don’t want
to be in here. I’m a happier person since the diagnosis. I totally
understand myself now.”
When dealing with ADHD, women are also battling society’s
expectations. “We’re not supposed to be bad at washing up or forget
people’s birthdays,” says Michelle. This is why “the shame and
damage to self-esteem is particularly acute in women”.
Lucy agrees. “My husband does most of the cooking, all the
cleaning, all the washing. I’m quite proud and very grateful.” But at
times she feels “de-skilled”. “If it was the other way around, nobody
would question it. “Successful men may get away with ADHD better
than women,” she says. “People organise their diaries and write up
minutes, leaving them to shine in meetings. And then they come
home to a nice, organised house with their very able wife, juggling
gazillion things, and dinner is on the table.”
What further compounds the difficulties for women with ADHD is
hormones. One of the trademarks of ADHD is low levels of dopamine,
the “feel-good” chemical manufactured in the brain that appears to
play a major role in things like attention and inhibition. When you
tackle a difficult task or pay attention to a complex social situation,
you are essentially generating dopamine in the parts of the brain that
deal with higher cognitive tasks. (Most ADHD medication works by
enhancing the impact of dopamine in the body.)
Alongside this, women’s brains are affected
by hormones. Oestrogen, for example,
produced in the first two weeks or so of a
woman’s monthly cycle, is a dopamine
booster. Progesterone, which surges in the
third and fourth weeks, suppresses the
effects of oestrogen, and consequently
dopamine. However, to an ADHD brain that
needs more dopamine, the depressing
effect can be intensified. “Fluctuating
hormones can make ADHD
symptoms significantly harder to
manage,” says Beckett.
In October 2020, Charlotte
and Jess set up I Am Paying
Attention, an online platform
for people with ADHD and/or
autism. Billed as “the badass
neurodivergent community”,
it offers advice, diagnoses
and more. “I feel sad for
people like me who have
grown up resenting
themselves. I’d love people
to see it as less of a deficit.”

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON ADHD, VISIT:
adhd.org.nz
psychology-tools.com/test/adult-adhd-self-report-scale
addadult.com/adhd-treatment-in-new-zealand
mentalhealth.org.nz/groups/group/adhd-nz-national-support-adults

Celebrities who
have ADHD, from left:
Mel B, Simone Biles,
Chlöe Swarbrick,
and Liv Tyler.

x

ADHD in Aotearoa x

T
Artist Isabella Dampney.

Editor and digital producer
Louise Adams with Maggie.

26 | Woman

wo years ago, when Isabella

her academic life, she says the red

Dampney returned to Aotearoa
in the middle of the pandemic,

Є˔˚˦˪˘˥˘˔˟˟˧˛˘˥˘ʡ
“My school reports were littered with

she went through the usual
readjustment experience of coming

remarks like ‘doesn’t apply herself’ on
subjects I didn’t enjoy – but no one

home. The 27-year-old artist took
temporary jobs while working out what

ever suggested to my mother that I
get tested,” she says. “I was a girl who

her next plan was going to be. It was

daydreamed.”

only after cycling through a number of
jobs and never settling for anything that
Isabella began to wonder if her feeling of

She came across the topic of ADHD in
women by chance in a story on David
Farrier’s Webworm blog in 2021. It wasn’t

displacement was more than temporary;
an accumulation of small things such as
forgetfulness, an inability to concentrate
and passing comments from a colleague
who had ADHD and assumed she had it
too, led her to seek out information. The
internet provided plenty of answers and
there were the usual tick-box tests, but
trying to get a proper diagnosis was not
easy and took almost a year.
“I rang every psychiatrist in Auckland
and Wellington and the earliest
appointment was in eight months,”
she says. It was an expensive process
that started with the initial $500 for an
assessment and then a
referral, then additional costs
for follow-up appointments
and prescriptions.
She was disheartened
˧ˢЃˡ˗˧˛˘˥˘˪˔˦˟˜˧˧˟˘ˢ˥
no support for anyone on
a low income needing a
prescription, especially when
the prescription costs are
ongoing and the diagnosis
ˡ˘˘˗˦˧ˢ˕˘˥˘˖ˢˡЃ˥ˠ˘˗
annually by a psychiatrist.
But even without the
medication, Isabella has
found getting the diagnosis
worthwhile.
“It made me understand
myself on a personal level
– why I do things in certain
ways. There’s a lot of misunderstanding

just the gender issue or the clinical bias
that made her sit up and pay attention.
“Admittedly, my knowledge and
assumptions about ADHD at the time
were based on social stereotypes
about physically hyperactive children,”
she says. “But when I read David’s
article, I found myself identifying with
nearly every symptom presented,
particularly the part which explained
that adult ADHD is more about having
a hyperactive mind than a hyperactive
˕ˢ˗ˬʡˇ˛˜˦˖ˢˠˣ˟˘˧˘˟ˬ˘˫˘ˠˣ˟˜Ѓ˘˦ˠˬ
own experience with ADHD. It was a
light-bulb moment.”
But getting a referral, diagnosis and
treatment required spending a large
chunk of her savings. Plus, getting on
the case, making appointments, and
Ѓ˟˟˜ˡ˚˜ˡ˙ˢ˥ˠ˦˔˥˘˔˟˟˧˛˜ˡ˚˦ˠ˔ˡˬ
ˣ˘ˢˣ˟˘˪˜˧˛ʴʷʻʷЃˡ˗˗˜˙Ѓ˖˨˟˧ʡ
However, the difference ADHD
medication has made in her life has
been worth every dollar spent on
appointments. It has brought more
order, structure and motivation to
her life, as well as reduced anxiety
and depression. She feels far more
productive and calm.
“I would never normally ‘selfdiagnose over the internet’, and I
wouldn’t recommend others do, either,
but there are valid resources, such as
the Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale, that
are worth looking into if you are already
ticking these boxes in your head.

about ADHD, but it’s slowly improving.”
Editor and digital producer Louise
Adams agrees. When she looks back at

“It was all worth it for me. The
difference in my life before and after
medication is like night and day.”

PHOTOS: REUBEN LOOI, SUPPLIED.

Isabella Dampney and Louise Adams

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HILLARY CLINTON:

Madeleine
Albright

KNEW HOW to
PUSH the ENVELOPE
28 | Woman

POLITICS

tōrangapū

Hillary Clinton writes about former US secretary of state Madeleine Albright,
who died recently, and says we can honour her memory by heeding her wisdom.

PHOTOS: GETTY. THIS ARTICLE FIRST APPEARED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES. REPRODUCED UNDER LICENCE.

L

ate one night in 1995, in a cramped airplane cabin
warned that an invasion of Ukraine would be “a historic error”
high over the Pacific, Madeleine Albright put down a
that would leave Russia “diplomatically isolated, economically
draft of a speech I was set to deliver in Beijing at the
crippled and strategically vulnerable in the face of a stronger,
upcoming United Nations conference on women,
more united Western alliance”. As happened so often, the man
fixed me with the firm stare that had made fearsome
with the guns was wrong and Madeleine was right.
dictators shudder, and asked what I was really
She was a woman of action, especially when facing injustice. In
trying to accomplish with this address.
2000, she was the first secretary of state to travel to North Korea,
“I want to push the envelope as far as I can,” I replied. “Then do
where she spent 12 hours negotiating with the dictator Kim
it,” she said. She proceeded to tell me how I could sharpen the
Jong-il. But, as she often said, her crucial historical frame of
speech’s argument that women’s rights
reference was Munich, not Vietnam, so
are human rights and human rights are
she had a deep appreciation for the
women’s rights.
risks of inaction. Today, with a rising
That was Madeleine, always cutting
tide of authoritarianism threatening
right to the heart of the matter with
democracy not just in Ukraine but all
clarity and courage. She pushed the
over the world, that is a lesson worth
envelope her entire life. She did it on
remembering.
behalf of women and girls, shattering
Having experienced Europe’s
the glass ceiling of diplomacy as the first
historic traumas first-hand, Madeline
woman to serve as secretary of state
understood that the security provided
and calling out atrocities against
by Nato was the key to keeping the
women all over the world. She did it for
continent free, peaceful and undivided.
the country that took her in as a child
She rejected the criticism that Nato’s
fleeing tyranny in Europe, championing
expansion needlessly provoked Russia
the United States as an indispensable
and is to blame for its invasion of
nation and the leader of the free world.
Ukraine. Make no mistake, if Nato had
She never stopped pushing the envelope
not expanded, Mr Putin would be
for freedom and democracy, including
menacing not just Ukraine but the
cajoling sometimes sceptical generals
Baltic States and likely all of Eastern
and diplomats to see human rights as a
Europe. As the historian and journalist
national security imperative.
Anne Applebaum recently argued,
For Bill and I, and her many friends
“The expansion of Nato was the most
all over the world, Madeleine’s passing is a
successful, if not the only truly
SHE SAW VLADIMIR PUTIN
painful personal loss. She was
successful, piece of American foreign
FOR WHAT HE IS: A VICIOUS
irrepressible: wickedly funny, stylish and
policy of the last 30 years.”
always game for adventure and fun. I’ll
Madeleine also strongly disagreed
AUTOCRAT INTENT ON
never forget how excited she was to walk
with Donald Trump’s approach of
RECLAIMING RUSSIA’S LOST
me through the streets of her native
treating America’s alliances as a
Prague and show me the yellow house
protection racket where our partners
EMPIRE
AND
A
COMMITTED
where she lived as a girl. We couldn’t stop
must pay tribute or fend for themselves.
laughing when an unexpected rainstorm
She knew that US alliances – especially
FOE OF DEMOCRACY.
blew our umbrellas inside out, and couldn’t
with other democracies – are a military,
stop smiling when the captivating
diplomatic and economic asset that
playwright and dissident turned president
neither Russia nor China can match,
Václav Havel charmed us over dinner. Madeleine was 10 years
despite their best efforts, and crucial for national security.
ahead of me at Wellesley, and for decades we used to address and
Even at the end of her life, she treasured her first glimpse of
sign our notes to each other “Dear ’59” and “Love, ’69.”
the Statue of Liberty, sailing into New York Harbor in 1948 as an
In the 1990s, when Bill Clinton named Madeleine UN
11-year-old refugee on a ship called the SS America.
ambassador and then secretary of state, she went toe-to-toe with
She would have been thrilled by President Joe Biden’s recent
the blood-soaked Serbian dictator Slobodan Milošević. She
announcement that the United States will welcome up to 100,000
helped marshal American power and the Nato alliance to end the
refugees fleeing Ukraine, and she would encourage us to do more
brutal war in Bosnia and ethnic cleansing in Kosovo. She saw the
to respond to this unfolding humanitarian nightmare. She would
chronically underestimated Russian president Vladimir Putin for
warn, as she did in her book, about the “self-centred moral
what he is: a vicious autocrat intent on reclaiming Russia’s lost
numbness that allows fascism to thrive”, and urge us to keep
empire and a committed foe of democracy everywhere. In a
pushing the envelope for freedom, human rights and democracy.
prescient column in the Times published on February 23, she
We should listen.

Woman | 29

30 | Woman

PHOTOS: JANE USSHER, SUPPLIED.

ODE
The MOTHER
Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and acclaimed poet Hera Lindsay Bird
attest to the fact that behind every great woman is a great mother.

FEATURE

kōrero motuhake

Dear Mum,

HAVING A DAUGHTER
AND WATCHING YOU
WITH HER REMINDS
ME OF WHAT IT WAS
TO BE RAISED BY
SOMEONE WITH SO
MUCH KINDNESS,
PATIENCE, AND CARE.

I am writing this from my office at the Beehive. It’s just gone 10pm. Clarke’s away
filming, so you’re at home with Neve. When I left this morning, you were in a nightie,
patiently sitting with my three-year-old daughter who has no concept of time. She
thought 7am was a perfectly respectable moment to start a craft project (a unicorn
mask with bedazzling, to be precise), and you knew that if you sat down with her,
distracting her with tiny pink gems, it would be easier for me to slip out.
I don’t believe that having kids makes us love our mothers more – for me, that vessel
was already full. But having a daughter and watching you with her reminds me of what
it was to be raised by someone with so much kindness, patience, and care.
And yet, you have never claimed perfection, and nor do you expect it in others –
including your kids.
I watch our young people now and feel like they have the weight of the world on their
shoulders. Not only do they have the same pressures that past generations felt, but
also they have the added weight of their lives being documented and commented on
in a way that others before them have not. Being a teenager was already hard – it now
seems relentless. It feels like one of the few antidotes is the unconditional love of
others in our lives. And I always had that.
I remember the first set of serious exams I faced as a young person – I would have
been 16. I studied hard. Even though I had two more years of this kind of assessment,
it felt somehow like these exams were make or break. I was almost through them all
when I fell at the last hurdle, mistiming my last exam and failing to finish a critical
essay. I was gutted.
I remember arriving home and you asking me what was wrong. I could barely get
out the words before I burst into tears. I can’t remember every word you shared, no
doubt I was still rerunning the day in my head, but I do remember how you made me
feel. That I was loved. And that the only thing you expected from us as your kids was
that we do our best – whether it was school, relationships – life. You just wanted us to
try, and be kind.
You then decided to distract me, so you drove to United Video and hired Mr
Holland’s Opus. Not your best choice. While it has a strong “life doesn’t always turn
out as planned” theme to it, it’s otherwise 143 minutes of gut-wrenching anguish.
Still, I appreciated the gesture.
But that was just one minor moment of many. And in all of life’s twists and turns, I can
hand-on-heart say that there has never been a time in my life where you, as my mum,
made me feel as if I wasn’t good enough. In a world full of quick judgements, where it’s
so easy to feel full of self-doubt, I can’t imagine a greater gift from a mother.
To Mum, on this Mother’s Day, my greatest desire is that you feel the same in
return. That you never cast your mind back, as mothers and women so often do, and
question whether you were good enough. Whether you met some impossible
expectation that for whatever reason we place on ourselves as parents.
You were more than good enough. You are my beloved mother, and I will be forever
grateful for you.

Love, Jacinda
Woman | 31

by Hera Lindsay Bird

I LOVE HEARING
Listening to other people talk about
their mothers is like listening to
ABOUT OTHER
someone else’s dream. A bad dream
reveals too much about the dreamer. A
PEOPLE’S MOTHERS,
good dream, who cares? There’s a limit
TOO. MOTHERS ARE
to how many good things people who
don’t know you really want to know
THE FUNNIEST
about your life, and happy childhoods
PEOPLE ALIVE. I’M
fall squarely into that category. Not to
mention that talking about how much
SORRY, BUT IT’S TRUE.
you love your mother feels a lot like
unearned boasting, which only breeds
resentment or boredom on the part of
the listener. Your mother bought you the Malibu Barbie
camper van for Christmas? Well, go eat shit, Amanda.
Like the cabals of aesthetically commensurate
brunettes paying hyperbolic tribute to each other on
Instagram, such an act of gratuitous public esteem
must awaken a healthy scepticism in the viewer. After
all, such performances seem geared towards soliciting
the attention of those just beyond the castle walls. If I
love my mother so much, why don’t I just call her and
tell her? Well, I already did that, over lunch, and she told
me a great many hilarious and unrepeatable stories
from her day. The things that a woman can say, while
calmly eating an egg sandwich. Plus, calling my mother
on the phone doesn’t pay nearly as well as writing about
her, although I have to admit that I still get what I can
only wincingly describe as pocket money, in the guise of
a birthday present, paid out in weekly instalments.
Before anyone gets het up about writers from monied
families, let me say my mother is unmonied, and it’s all
Hera Lindsay Bird’s
biggest hero is
my fault for studying poetry instead of computer
her mum, Vivian,
science. But happily, I can blame that on my mother,
and she loves
who always taught me to follow my dreams.
hearing stories
Mothers can be blamed for most things, which goes a from her extremely
fascinating and
long way toward explaining the current literary
colourful life.
landscape. I blame my mother for my bad feet, and my
apparently inherited inability to remember the names
32 | Woman

PHOTOS: VIVIAN LINDSAY, GETTY, SUPPLIED.

An Ode To My Mother

or faces of literally any actor who isn’t Frances
McDormand. Sadly, I didn’t inherit her talent for
Scrabble, or her ability to instantly befriend anyone
within a 100-mile radius. But I guess some genes just
skip a generation.
A therapist once told me it wasn’t healthy never to
fight with your mother, but I wasn’t exactly the
climbing-out-of-windows type, and it seems a little
gauche to be throwing tantrums at this late stage.
I’m not saying our relationship is like Gilmore Girls.
Catch me studying journalism in this day and age. But I
wouldn’t be averse to a Grey Gardens-type scenario if
anyone knows of a spare mansion going in the
Hamptons.
Sadly, this means my material for a bestselling
memoir about my complicated mother-daughter
relationship is sparse. I’ve always enjoyed reading
these kinds of memoirs, in the same way accountants
like reading about the Wild West. Apart from Mother’s
Day, the only other time anyone invites you to write
nice things about your mother is in an obituary, but my
mother has a rare physiological disorder which means
she is medically unable to die, so luckily I don’t have to
worry about that.
Anyway, I was lying earlier. I love hearing about other
people’s dreams, and I love hearing about other
people’s mothers, too. Mothers are the funniest people
alive. I’m sorry, but it’s true. The dad joke gets the most
press, sure, but even your favourite comedian has
nothing on the emotional whiplash of the maternal
non-sequitur. I’ve never laughed as hard in my life as
the time my mother and I tried to get gas at a rural
petrol station. The car’s gas tank was on the wrong
side as the petrol pump, and we must have circled the
pump at least four times before we were so hysterical
we had to pull over and howl, while a nervous-looking
teenager in an employee-regulation polo shirt came
over to investigate.
A good mother is like a good dream, in that it’s
impossible to relay the mood nor the logic that governs
it. It’s like the air you breathe your whole life, not
knowing you are breathing it. I love my mother like I
love air. I think of her every time I see a thing she likes.
A giraffe. A cactus. A figurine of retired McDonald’s
felon The Hamburglar. I think of her running away
from home at 16, of riding a horse around the South
Island at 20. That little brown horse and those big old
stars. I think of her folding napkins into swans in the
restaurant where she waitressed when we were little. I
think of her playing Miss Hannigan, the gin-drunk
orphanage keeper in our local production of Annie,
every bit Carol Burnett’s equal.
My mother, who ran off to art school in her 50s and
formed a typewriter orchestra. My mother, who then
skipped the country to move to rural China, and who
introduced the local children to the horrors of Mr
Bean. My mother, the sort of person that makes
everyone I know ask: and how is your mother? She’s
great, I always say. She’s fantastic.

Woman | 33

PARENTING

whakatipu tamariki

T
Dr. Kate C. Prickett
is the Director of
the Roy McKenzie
Centre for the
Study of Families
and Children at Te
Herenga Waka –
Victoria University
of Wellington.

34 | Woman

he advertisements showing us what
issue is important and needs addressing. It’s hard to
mothers want on Mother’s Day – a
shine a light on or fix something when you don’t
sleep-in, breakfast in bed, a good cup of
understand the extent of the problem.
coffee that someone else has made – are
Some might argue that women are happy with this
in stark contrast to what most mornings
arrangement, that some couples have agreed on a
look like for mums in Aotearoa. Which I guess is
satisfactory division of labour, or that there are cases
precisely the point.
of men spending the same time as women on unpaid
It’s 9am. I’ve made it to the office. As I sit down, I
care. These two truths – that there is an unequal
often reflect that I’ve been up for three hours but
burden of labour and (some) women are fine with it –
(perceive!) that I’ve accomplished nothing. My time
can coexist. However, research on the intersection
looks like this: I naturally wake around 6am, lying as
between time use and wellbeing continues to show
still as possible so as not to let on that I’m awake. First
women are still doing more of the types of housework
child wakes somewhere between 6.15-6.30am and
and childcare activities (for example, bathing and
crawls into bed to say good morning and get a cuddle.
feeding children versus playing or watching TV
And then we’re off. A shower, kids clothed, breakfasts
together) that are less fun and wellbeing-promoting.
made and eaten, and lunches made and packed. Kids
Moreover, while time use is something we’ve been
given the “we’re leaving” shout 10 minutes before we
measuring for years, an evolving area of research is
actually leave because, apparently it is now customary
paying attention to the inequities in the invisible and
that “we’re leaving” only means business when I have
emotional labour that women do, such as organising
said it three times and then also shout it from outside
children’s schedules, having a working memory of
the house, adding “I’ve left.” Inevitably, this is a false
what’s in the fridge and what needs to be picked up
start as we get halfway up the road and someone has
from the supermarket, and making sure birthday
forgotten something that they “really, really, really
cards to whānau are in the mail on time.
need” (60 steps back up to the front door, because . . .
Despite the current state of play, 79 percent of New
Wellington). It’s frowned upon for the kids to be at
Zealanders think gender equality should be a
school before 8.30am and my bus is scheduled to
fundamental right. Moreover, in the 2021 edition of
arrive at 8.32am across the road from the school. It is
the Gender Attitudes Survey – a study commissioned
a careful orchestration of time.
by the National Council of Women of New Zealand to
My mornings aren’t that dissimilar from many
understand opinions on gender equality – a majority
mothers’ – or perhaps just the privileged and lucky
of respondents (87 percent) agreed mothers and
ones like myself, able to work hours
fathers should equally share the
where I can get the kids to school,
responsibility of raising children.
and won’t get fired if I’m getting to
This aspiration also made it to the
CLOSE TO HALF
the office chronically late. These
top of the list in terms of where we
hours are chaotic. The mornings
should see gender equality reflected
OF
ALL
MEN
when my partner isn’t already at
in society, if society was fair. Despite
work (early morning Zoom calls to
evidence to the contrary, however,
(46 PERCENT)
different time zones) make a
close to half of all men (46 percent)
BELIEVED
GENDER
palpable difference to my wellbeing.
believed gender equality had been
Juxtaposing the norm to a slow
achieved in New Zealand, versus (a
EQUALITY HAD
morning in bed, being fed and not
surprising) 35 percent of women.
BEEN
ACHIEVED
IN
feeding others, then, is salivating.
I won’t be turning down breakfast
But breakfast in bed feels like a low
in bed, plus a little alone time, on
NEW ZEALAND.
bar, no? Study after study across the
Mother’s Day, but what I really want
world shows the unequal burden of
for mothers is structural change that
housework and childcare that
will rebalance the time-burden
mothers take on. This holds true in New Zealand.
scales. Paid parental leave that encourages fathers to
Although the last time this country undertook “gold
take more leave without financially penalising
standard” time-use data collection was more than a
families. Affordable childcare that stops mothers
decade ago (2009-10), those data found that women
being forced into impossible choices about their
were spending more than five hours on household
career. Workplaces that can be flexible with schedules
work and childcare per day, compared with less than
and hours so we can better juggle work and family
half that for men. And this wasn’t just all explained by
demands – and that encourage dads to tap into those
men working more: comparing mothers and fathers
policies. And that these benefits aren’t just for those
who worked full-time, women were still spending an
of us whose jobs involve sitting at computers. And
hour more than men on unpaid work (three hours and
dads, as well as being the labour behind the Mother’s
16 minutes versus two hours 14 minutes, respectively).
Day breakfast, it’s time to start putting your name
Sure, things might have changed in the past 10
first on the school contact list, being the point-person
years. But the fact that New Zealand doesn’t bother to
on the WhatsApp group for football, and taking the
collect time-use data to understand how things might
afternoon off to do the school pick-up. When more
be different says a lot about whether we think this
dads do, we’re all better for it.

WHAT

MOTHERS
REALLY
WANT
FOR MOTHER’S DAY
Dr. Kate Prickett argues for a deeper
societal change that goes much further
than dads changing nappies and
sharing household chores.

Woman | 35

Like

MOTHER
used to
MAKE
Top chefs and the food by which they
remember their mother.
36 | Woman

L

et’s face it, a lot of mother love is
cupboard love. During infancy, our
primal needs are food, drink and
comfort. All things going well, they will
match the same driving imperatives in
whoever is doing the mothering. Sometimes the
desire to make sure children are nourished can be
overwhelming. It’s true that in the wild some
animals are known to commit infanticide if their
young refuse to eat. I once had a friend who rode a
bicycle around the outside of their house to spoonfeed his child through the open kitchen window. But
the supreme act of coddling was never more
lovingly illustrated than when food writer Lois
Daish wrote about her mother:
On many mornings when I was a little girl I woke to
the smell of scrambled eggs and wholemeal toast.
The aroma didn’t come from the kitchen down the
passage. It was much closer than that – it was in bed
with me, on the triangle of mattress between my
pillow and the corner of the bed. While my mother
wanted me to sleep as long as possible, she also
wanted me to have a proper breakfast before I went
to school. So she delivered scrambled eggs to my bed
while I was still asleep, so that I would wake up to
their aroma, and immediately begin to eat. She was
inclined to make the eggs rather firm, so it was easy
to pick up the little squares of toast and scrambled
egg, which was always full of finely chopped wild
parsley that she’d picked along the road as she
walked home from the bus stop the afternoon before.
From A Good Year by Lois Daish, 2005

ALEXANDRA TYLEE

OWNER OF PIPI CAFÉ, HAWKE’S BAY

Left: Alexandra
Tylee says her
mum, Christabel,
above, makes the
best shortcake
ever. Below: Feijoa
shortcake.

We grew up on a farm in Hawke’s Bay and cooking,
preparing meals and keeping the tins full for farm
workers, shearers and family was a full-time job. My
mother’s cooking was strongly influenced by her
mother and grandmother. When I think of my
maternal grandmother Bessie Campbell’s cooking,
what comes to my mind (or nose) is the smell of
freshly grated lemon, which she was always
squeezing into puddings or cakes, and white
pepper, which was liberally sprinkled over mashed
potato, which she served regularly with corned beef
and creamed leeks. The way the table was set was
hugely important – always lots of linen table
napkins and candles and, of course, the flowers.
Food memories evoke strong emotions. I
sometimes see this in the restaurant when people
order the flounder and are moved when recalling a
time they caught one as a child. One of my mother’s
favourite recipes is a very traditional buttery
shortcake that can be made with anything, from
strawberries to tamarillos. I think it sums up her
cooking and how it has influenced me. Its simplicity
is its beauty, and when made with love and care, it
can hold its ground with any complicated
confection, hands down.

Feijoa shortcake
12 large feijoas
1 cup caster sugar
375g butter, softened
4½ cupsЄˢ˨˥
¼ tsp salt
2¾ cups caster sugar
3 eggs, beaten
¼ cup caster sugar
1 cup cream, whipped
1 tbsp icing sugar

SERVES 6-8
1. Preheat oven to 160°C. Grease a 30cm round pie dish.
2. Peel the feijoas, then simmer in 1 litre of water with 1
cup caster sugar. Once soft, drain the feijoas on a
clean towel, then slice each one in half lengthways,
keeping it intact.
3. In a large bowl, rub the butter into the flour, salt,
and 2¾ cups sugar. Add the 3 eggs, then mix into a
large dough.
4. Divide the dough in half, roll out one half and line
the bottom and sides of the dish. Lay the feijoas neatly
in the dish, then sprinkle with ¼ cup caster sugar.
5. Roll out the other half, then place over the feijoas.
The pastry is very soft, so it doesn’t matter if you can’t
roll it in one piece.
6. Bake for 45-60 minutes until golden brown and firm
to touch. Sprinkle with icing sugar and serve with
whipped cream.

Woman | 37

MONIQUE FISO

HIAKAI RESTAURANT, MT COOK, WELLINGTON
My mother didn’t teach me to cook, but she did
encourage me. I was helping in the kitchen from an
early age, which my parents appreciated, as there
were five kids and both my parents worked full-time
and studied. I remember peeling garlic for the first
time with my Nanny Tepora at the age of about four.
My eyes started watering and I didn’t know what
was happening to me. I was the pickiest eater out of
my siblings; really fussy about what I ate. When I
was young, my mother told me that people eat with
their eyes, and it has always stuck with me. It’s also
100 percent correct. The recipe I most associate
with my mother is apple and rhubarb sponge
pudding.

38 | Woman

Apple and rhubarb sponge pudding
2 cups hot, sweetened, stewed apple and rhubarb
125g butter
½ tsp vanilla essence
½ cup sugar
2 eggs
1 cupˣ˟˔˜ˡЄˢ˨˥
2 tsp baking powder
2 tbsp milk
Icing sugar

1. Preheat the oven to 190˚C. Place the stewed fruit in an

ovenproof dish.
2. Put the butter, vanilla and sugar into a bowl, then beat
hard until pale and creamy. Add the eggs one at a time,
beating well after each addition. Sift in the flour and
baking powder, then fold into the mixture, followed by
the milk.
3. Spoon the mixture over the fruit. Bake for 40 minutes
or until the sponge springs back when lightly touched.
4. Dust with icing sugar and serve hot with cream or
vanilla ice cream (for Dad, of course).

Above:
Monique Fiso
of Hiakai
Restaurant,
right, with her
mum, Serena.

YAEL SHOCHAT

IMA RESTAURANT, AUCKLAND
My mum was an amazing cook and a curious and
obsessive collector of recipes. It’s hard for me to
pick one, because there were so many much-loved
recipes. When I was a kid in Israel, other mothers
had one cookbook – the equivalent of the Edmonds
Cookery Book – but my mother had many books of
different cuisines, piles of magazine cuttings and
lots of handwritten recipe cards. I wish I had those
cards today, but I have my memories. I’ve chosen
moussaka, because it was a real comfort food I
loved and she used to make it when I went home for
a visit as a student.

Moussaka

For the eggplant layers:
5 large purple eggplants, cut lengthwise into 1cm
slices
¼ cup non-iodised table salt

From top: Yael’s
mother, Thelma
Shocat and Yael.

5 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
For the potato layer:
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
3 medium potatoes, cut into 1cm slices
For the tomato sauce:
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 smallˢˡ˜ˢˡʟЃˡ˘˟ˬ˖˛ˢˣˣ˘˗
4 garlic ˖˟ˢ˩˘˦ʟЃˡ˘˟ˬ˖˛ˢˣˣ˘˗
2 cans ˪˛ˢ˟˘ˣ˘˘˟˘˗˧ˢˠ˔˧ˢ˘˦ʟ˦˘˘˗˘˗ʟ˪˜˧˛Є˘˦˛˥ˢ˨˚˛˟ˬ
chopped and juice reserved
For the meat layers:
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 medium ˢˡ˜ˢˡʟЃˡ˘˟ˬ˖˛ˢˣˣ˘˗
4 garlic˖˟ˢ˩˘˦ʟˠ˜ˡ˖˘˗ˢ˥Ѓˡ˘˟ˬ˚˥˔˧˘˗
1kg minced beef
1 tbsp cinnamon
½ tsp˙˥˘˦˛˟ˬ˚˥ˢ˨ˡ˗ˡ˨˧ˠ˘˚ʛˢ˥̎˧˦ˣ˚˥ˢ˨ˡ˗ˡ˨˧ˠ˘˚ʜ

cupЃˡ˘˟ˬ˖˛ˢˣˣ˘˗ʼ˧˔˟˜˔ˡЄ˔˧ʠ˟˘˔˙ˣ˔˥˦˟˘ˬ
1½ tbsp fresh oregano leaves
1½ tbsp˙˥˘˦˛˧˛ˬˠ˘˟˘˔˩˘˦
Pinch of salt
FOR THE BÉCHAMEL SAUCE:
750ml whole milk
90g butter
6 tbspˣ˟˔˜ˡЄˢ˨˥
½ tsp˙˥˘˦˛˟ˬ˚˥ˢ˨ˡ˗ˡ˨˧ˠ˘˚ʛˢ˥̎˧˦ˣ˗˥˜˘˗˚˥ˢ˨ˡ˗ˡ˨˧ˠ˘˚ʜ
150g grated parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper
1/

PHOTOS: FLORENCE CHARVIN, SUPPLIED, FACEBOOK.

3

1. Preheat the oven to 180˚C. To prepare the eggplant layer,

line two large trays with baking paper. Generously sprinkle
the eggplant slices with salt, then leave to sit for 15 minutes in
a colander. Wash well under running water to remove all the
salt, then squeeze with your hands to remove all the water.
Brush the slices with oil, then roast in a single layer on the
lined trays until soft and lightly golden brown – about 25
minutes. Leave the oven on to bake the assembled moussaka.
2. To prepare the potato layer, heat the oil in a large frying
pan on medium-high heat. Fry the potato slices, in batches if

until lightly golden on both sides. Set out onto a
paper-towel-lined plate.
3. To make the tomato sauce, heat the oil in a
medium saucepan on moderate heat. Cook the
onion, stirring occasionally, until softened and
lightly golden – about 10 minutes. Add the garlic
and cook 1-2 minutes, stirring occasionally, until
softened. Add the tomato and juices from the cans,
then simmer for 10 minutes.
4. To prepare the meat, heat the oil in a large frying
pan on moderate heat. Cook the onion, stirring
occasionally, until softened and just lightly golden
– about 10 minutes. Add the garlic, then cook a
further 1-2 minutes, stirring occasionally, until
softened.
5. Turn the heat up a notch, add half the meat to the
pan and stir occasionally until browned and quite
dry. Remove the mixture to a bowl while leaving the
residual oil in the pan, then cook the remaining beef
the same way.
6. Return all the meat to the pan, then stir through
the cinnamon, nutmeg and herbs. Add a pinch of
salt, but do not season the meat strongly, as the
eggplant slices will be well-seasoned even after
being washed.

MAKE THE BÉCHAMEL SAUCE

1. Heat the milk in a small saucepan until hot but not boiling.

Reduce heat to low. Melt the butter in a medium or large
saucepan. Whisk in the flour to form a paste, then cook,
whisking for one minute.
2. If the roux begins to brown, turn down the heat a little.
Gradually add the hot milk, a few spoonfuls at a time, and let
the milk sit in the pan for a few seconds each time before
whisking it in, which will help prevent lumps.
3. Once all of the milk has been whisked in, carefully bring the
sauce to a gentle boil, then reduce the heat and gently simmer
uncovered, whisking frequently, for 10-15 minutes.
4. Stir in the nutmeg and parmesan until the cheese has
melted, then remove the pot from the heat. Season with salt
and pepper to taste.
ASSEMBLE THE MOUSSAKA

1. Arrange the potato slices in a single layer in a 35 x 25cm

deep roasting dish, cutting some pieces to fit in the gaps like a
mosaic (there is no need to oil the dish first).
2. Arrange a third of the eggplant slices on top of the potato.
3. Spread half the mince in an even layer.
4. Pour half the tomato sauce onto the mince.
5. Arrange half the remaining eggplant on top of the sauce.
6. Spread the second half of the mince onto the eggplant and
pour on the remaining tomato sauce.
7. Arrange the remaining eggplant pieces in a layer and
spread the béchamel sauce in a smooth layer onto the
eggplant with a clean knife or spatula.
Bake the moussaka for 30-40 minutes until hot throughout,
with the sauce browned nicely on top. Let it stand for 20
minutes before serving, as this allows the layers to settle and
will help you cut it neatly. The flavours will also be more
pronounced if the dish is not piping hot.

LOFTY

ASPIRATIONS
Ruth Spencer discovers the magic of miniatures.

40 | Woman

The direction of
Ruth's new hobby
took an interesting
turn when her
dinosaur-obsessed
six-year-old
daughter got
involved.

PHOTO: GETTY.

W

hen I was a little child in
Invercargill, there was a gorgeous
public library in a Gothic stone
building, and someone there liked
little things. In a glass case was
perhaps the most incongruous diorama ever to grace
a children’s library: a bare field with a few brooding
pine trees in the corners, through which a tiny brass
band marched endlessly in rectangular formation.
Red coats, tall bearskin hats, legs striding forward.
To where? Towards an audience? Or, with a kindness
and mercy usually unknown to brass bands, away from
an audience?
It was melancholy and slightly threatening in a way
that all children’s content was in the late 1970s. So
bleak, so mysterious. I’d check on the band every time I
went to the library, looking for any sign of musical
progress across Wasteland Park, convinced the
faceless marchers moved when I looked away. Good
miniatures contain some kind of stilled magic – a real
pixie living behind that fairy-garden door, dollhouses
that become bustling family homes at night, model
railways that chunter and rattle and . . . no, they’re
probably still boring when you’re not looking.
I want to capture some of that magic for myself, to
surround myself with tiny enchanted worlds. I’m going
to reinvent myself as a miniaturist. Miniatures are big
right now. Cute little diorama kits are in all the shops,
promising mindfulness, focus and creativity. The idea
is to painstakingly create a miniature space you’d like
to inhabit, and then kind of look at it, I suppose, feeling
big. Even the Queen collects miniatures, although that
probably means people give them to her, then she
nods in a kind, tired way before waving them off to the
palace’s Diorama Storage Unit. Anyway, I bought a
miniature kit.
The kit is called Soho Loft. All the kits are
aspirational – a Parisian bedroom or a bookstore or a
plant shop, sets from perfect imaginary rom-coms,
full of spiral staircases and indoor plants. So. Much.
Whimsy. Soho Loft has a mid-century comfy chair
upholstered in pale duck-egg felt. There’s a desk, a set
of Scandi drawers, and a charming set of French
windows thrown open to an imaginary breeze, which is
overkill on the ventilation front, considering the room
has only two walls.

Soho Loft confronts me with a lot of work. There are
so many books: stacked on the desk, lying on shelves,
casually thrown on the chair. I’m supposed to make
each book, with printed internal pages to fold and get
the right way up. There are three windows to glaze.
I’m to cut and glue tiny strips of actual wood veneer to
make my desk and drawers look more like washed
oak. I’m supposed to – and this feels possibly like it
should not be legal – wire an electric light. I am an
intelligent, educated woman rising into her power, but
Reinvention
I should not be anywhere near electrical wiring.
RUTH SPENCER
There’s a real-life flame involved, to shrink a rubber
coating around exposed wire. This isn’t meditation,
it’s MacGyver.
It all goes together with glue, the least satisfying
craft tool. Nothing feels clever or artisanal when you
glue it. Glue is for preschoolers who can’t work the
sticky-tape dispenser. To be fair, these kit people
know their glue. This is rapid-drying, invisible,
fingerprints-permanently-embedded-in-the-felt kind
of glue. Nasa-level glue. Wait, is this rocket science?
That would explain a lot.
I eventually, mostly, complete it (I didn’t individually
wrap paper around wire to make tiny pencils because
OMG, there’s a limit), then it sits on the windowsill for
a while to remind me not to buy another one. But Soho
Loft finally achieves its best life. After a couple of
weeks of “No touch, darling. For looking
only!” to my six-year-old, it inevitably
becomes a pied-à-terre for the Squishies,
her tiny rubbery dinosaurs from Kmart.
They swan over the chaise, use the iPad,
and knock over the potted plants. They
seldom read the books, perhaps because
some of the pages are upside down. The
veneered drawers have lost a toothpick leg
and are full of Squishie Food. I don’t ask
and neither should you.
I felt a pang when the Squishies moved
in, at my semi-perfect little apartment
being squatted by Ankylosauri and
THERE’S A REALPteranodons, but at least it hasn’t got
the spooky melancholy of that frozen
LIFE FLAME
Invercargill brass band. Whatever it
INVOLVED, TO
gets up to at night, it’s alive during the
day, playing host to many diorama
SHRINK A RUBBER
dinodramas. Even a life in miniature can
be something big.
COATING AROUND

EXPOSED WIRE.
THIS ISN’T
MEDITATION, IT’S
MACGYVER.
Woman | 41

Menstrual cycles and menopause are increasingly
being discussed in the workplace as women seek
policy changes that take their ‘natural ribbons of
life’ into account. In her fight to bring about policy
change, Tongan broadcaster Lusia Petelo opened
up to her male employers about the previously
private subjects of menstrual cycles and
menopause. By Aroha Awarau.

PERIOD
of CHANGE
PHOTOGRAPHY: LUKE HARVEY

P

Right: Niu FM’s Lusia
Petelo: “How can I go
on air on my radio
show every day and
ask our people to
be brave and bold
when we can’t do
that same thing?”

42 | Woman

eriods and menopause are two topics Tongan
broadcaster Lusia Petelo says are not openly
discussed in her Pacific culture.
So, the Niu FM radio host knew it would be
an uphill battle when she had to confront the
top four male executives in her company, the Pacific
Media Network, and try to convince them to implement a
menstrual policy that would allow paid extra leave for
those having monthly periods or going through
menopause.
The controversial and divisive employment issue is
becoming more common in workplaces both here and
overseas, but Lusia discovered that trying to win over her
employers, who work within a Pacific framework, was
going to be challenging.
“One of the main drivers for me was knowing that
menstruating is not a sickness, as much as we know that
sick leave is there for this,” the bubbly entertainer says.
“As Pacific women, some of us feel uncomfortable
talking about things that are natural. I have non-Islander
friends who openly say, ‘Oh, I just got my period.’ In our
Pacific culture, we would whisper when talking about
our periods. I wanted to change these attitudes and
allow Pacific women to feel comfortable talking about
these things.”
Lusia, 31, started with the Auckland-based Pacific
media company in 2017, becoming a full-time host in
2020. She was appointed union delegate and given the
job of negotiating for better conditions for her members.
The idea of a menstrual and menopause policy was
brought up during their annual collective contract

FEATURE

kōrero motuhake

“IN OUR PACIFIC
CULTURE, WE WOULD
WHISPER WHEN
TALKING ABOUT OUR
PERIODS. I WANTED
TO CHANGE THESE
ATTITUDES AND
ALLOW WOMEN TO
FEEL COMFORTABLE.”

Woman | 43

“I DON’T LIKE
CRYING IN FRONT OF
PEOPLE, BUT I WAS
ANGRY. I WAS
TRYING TO PROVE A
POINT TO PEOPLE
WHO DON’T KNOW
HOW IT FEELS.”

negotiations.
“Before each
bargaining session with
the CEO and executives,
we sit down as a collective,
as you would a family, and
have a talanoa; we talk
about what we need to
sort out.
“One collective member
had read about a
menstrual policy
introduced by some
Australian companies
and suggested it was something we could have as well.
The other members supported the idea, even the men.
We talked about women waking up with bad
headaches and cramps and not being able to move. If
they have used up all their sick leave for themselves or
in caring for their children, they have no other option
but to carry on and go to work.”
The policy concept was new to many of the
members, including Lusia. Before raising it with her
bosses, she read overseas research and sought advice
from Pacific medical professionals. She also received
help from Kristy Chong, the CEO of Sydney-based
Modibodi, a company that sells period products. It was
one of the first in Australia to implement paid
menstrual, menopause and miscarriage leave for its
employees (10 extra paid leave days a year).
“It was important in our Pacific community that
someone breaks that stigma, that we no longer feel
embarrassed to address the things that just naturally
happen and are just part of being human.”
A UK study released by the Women and Equalities
Committee in February found that nearly a third of
women had missed work because of menopause or
menstrual symptoms. The same poll found that just
one in 10 had asked for workplace adjustments related
to their menopause symptoms. A quarter of those who
hadn’t asked for adjustments said they were “worried

44 | Woman

Above left: Lusia
Petelo on air at Niu FM.
Above right: Lusia with
˃˔˖˜Ѓ˖ˀ˘˗˜˔ˁ˘˧˪ˢ˥˞
CEO Don Mann.

about the reaction of others”. Armed with the
research and a passion to make a difference, Lusia was
confident going into the first round of negotiations.
But she was devastated when the four male executives
declined her request.
“I don’t like crying in front of people, but I was
angry. While they were explaining to me their reasons,
I was half-listening to them and had all of these
comebacks in my head. I was trying to prove a point to
a group of people who don’t know how it feels. They
have some sort of understanding because they have
wives and daughters, but it’s limited because they
can’t live what a woman experiences in her body.”
Lusia loves her job as an announcer. Her warmth
and personality make her relatable and popular with
her audience. But she realised the
fight was bigger than her and her
employers.
“At the beginning, I was
representing the women of my
collective, then I was representing
the future of this organisation.
Then I realised I was representing
all women, so I’d better do my best
to get this policy over the line.”
After a short break from
negotiations, Lusia returned
and gave a heartfelt speech to
her bosses.
“I was scared, but I used that
fear and gave it my all. I reminded
them we are a Pacific broadcasting
company and we are a brand that
shares the success of our Pacific
people. Why is it that we cannot do the same for
ourselves? Why is it that we cannot set change as a
Pacific brand and walk the talk? How can I go on air on
my radio show every day and ask our people to be
brave and bold when we can’t do that same thing?”
Pacific Media Network CEO Don Mann, a former
police officer with two daughters, admits that when
Lusia first raised the subject, he felt uncomfortable.
Like Lusia, Don acknowledges periods and
menopause aren’t discussed openly in Pacific homes.
“At a simple level, these issues are private matters,
as we are talking about a person’s body. What does
this mean under a Pacific construct, and what does
this mean given the impact of Christianity within our
Pacific community? How will this happen and how will
this play out? Then I realised I shouldn’t overthink this
and that it was a subject matter beyond me.”
The Pacific Media Network employs 75 people. Sixty
percent of its employees are women. Don knew it was
important to investigate the request further before
reconsidering his decision.
“I lacked confidence that we should be the
organisation that should do this. In my 20 years of
being a senior manager, this topic has never been
addressed. I needed time and space to process it and
do my own research on what was being asked of us.”
He wanted to look at how such a policy would

function within a Pacific framework, so researched the
work of Māori and Pacific thought leaders, such as Dr
Ngāhuia Murphy and Dr Lana Lopesi. Taking time to
understand their work shaped his reasoning.
He also approached Elizabeth Hill, an associate
professor of social sciences at the University of
Sydney, who has been studying menstrual leave as an
employment policy for about three years. Her
research found arguments for and against menstrual
leave. One view opposing the policy was that it
reinforces stereotypes and stigmas attached to
menstruation and discriminates against those who
have periods.
But Don says that despite the arguments against
the policy, his organisation made an informed decision
to support their employees and create a more inclusive
working environment.
“If I’m going to lead an organisation that is
predominately Pacific women, then I felt I needed to
educate and better inform myself. It didn’t take me
long to decide that we needed to support this. It was
the right thing to do.”
The menstrual policy came into effect at the Pacific
Media Network early this year. Employees on the
collective contract will be entitled to an extra 12 days
of paid personal leave a year, in addition to the
company’s existing sick leave entitlement, to deal with
menstruation and menopause issues. The company
will also supply free sanitary pads in its bathrooms.
“There are senior women in the workplace who will
oversee how this works and how it’s delivered safely.
The women who are impacted by this will make it work
and make it best suit them,” says Don.
Chris Hubscher, manager of employment standards
policy at the Ministry of Business, Innovation and
Employment, says it is not known how many New
Zealand companies have a menstrual leave policy, as
the concept is relatively new. But he says all companies
can choose to include their own menstrual leave policy.
“Firms are able to implement any internal leave
policies or agree to the provision of leave for any
reason with an employee, so long as the entitlement is
above the minimum statutory requirements,” he says.
Dr Minnie Strickland, clinical director for Etu
Pasifika Auckland and member of the Pasifika Medical
Association Group, a national organisation providing
health services for the Pacific community both here
and overseas, applauds the Pacific Media Network for
becoming one of the first companies in Aotearoa to
implement a menstrual policy.
“It’s an achievement. It’s awesome that workplaces
are taking into account the natural ribbons of life.
“As a Pacific company, they are taking away the
stigma of menstruation and menopause. They’re
standing up and being brave and providing a better
working environment for their employees.”
When Lusia first learnt her advocacy work had been
successful, she broke down.
“I cried for what seemed like a lifetime. We did it! We
fought for this policy that allows us to function better
at home and in the workplace.”

Above: Lusia says,
Ϣˊ˘˔˥˘˔˃˔˖˜Ѓ˖
broadcasting
company and we are
a brand that shares
the success of our
˃˔˖˜Ѓ˖ˣ˘ˢˣ˟˘ʡϣ

Woman | 45

I AM YOUR NOSE

K

I’m the organ that hides in plain sight and knows a lot about you.
There’s more to me than just smell and swabs.

ia ora! Hi. Over here. Yes, that’s me
waving at you from the centre of
your face.
I know we’ve had an awkward
relationship at times. Like that time I
wouldn’t stop dripping while you were trying to
impress the school principal and you ended up with
snot smeared all over your face. Or that time I
seemed to grow much faster than the rest of your
features, so I looked like a bulbous growth on your
sensitive adolescent ego.
But we’ve grown into each other since then, right?
Right?
You see, I’m used to being the one hiding out in
plain sight, keeping my talents veiled. But just
quietly, I know I’m crucial to your survival,
physically, socially and – dare I say it – in love
as well.
Let’s start with the obvious. What do you need to
live? Oxygen! How does it enter? Through me. Most
of the air you breathe enters through my capacious
passages. And when I say capacious, I mean it.
Some people are surprised when they find out just
how far back I go into your head. Those nasal swabs
you’ve been having might give a clue. (And that’s
only part of the length needed to satisfy me.)
When you breathe, air gets pulled in through the
front door – my nares, or nostrils – and into the
secret back-party room. Here, the molecules swirl
around my architecturally designed interior, a
warm, dark space with three curved wall features
(the upper, middle and lower conchae, also known
as the turbinates). My walls are not just pretty,
they’re also the latest in air-conditioning design.
They moisten and warm the air so it’s the perfect
temperature for gas exchange to occur when it
reaches the lungs.
Babies must breathe through their noses – it’s an
adaptation they are born with to allow them to
breathe and suckle at the same time. But grownups can choose whether to breathe through me or
my colleague, the mouth. I’d advise choosing me.
Research has shown (I knew all along) that

46 | Woman

Your body
DR RENEE LIANG

breathing through me lowers your stress levels,
helps you sleep, improves your exercise fitness,
improves dental health, lowers blood pressure, and
improves heart health. I also improve your memory,
alert you to dangers, and make you super sexy.
Read on.
First, let me inform you of my security features.
As your gateway, I’m equipped with the best. Those
nostril hairs that you cringe at in the mirror?
They’re a very effective broom, keeping randoms
where they belong: outside. After that, anything
wanting to score a free ride into your body has to
contend with a tidal wave of sticky mucus that is
constantly produced (a litre a day; more when
you’re unwell). Much more effective than sprinklers
on a parliamentary lawn. And, of course, there’s the
sneeze – my high-tech expulsion device, travelling
up to 5m a second, ejecting toxic organisms as
aerosols for other suckers to breathe in. (In case
you’re wondering, sneeze style is genetically
determined.) But should intruders still stick
around, immune cells breaststroke through my
mucus, eliminating their targets with more efficacy
than Navy Seals and none of the toxic masculinity.
(Hope you’re feeling better about the snot now.)
I also make nitric oxide, a gas that not only opens
up blood vessels in the lungs, making them more
efficient, but also may prevent viruses such as
Covid-19 from multiplying and taking hold. I’m also
exceptionally tidy; the perfect flatmate. The
vanquished occupiers are swept efficiently towards
the door by the coordinated movements of tiny
cilia, microscopic “hairs”. These cuties Mexican
wave those who have outstayed their welcome back
to where they came from. Hasta la vista!
Speaking of bad smells, did you know I can detect
more than a trillion unique scents? Great to make
sure you don’t swallow something that’s off, but I am
also a purveyor of good taste and – get this – I can
detect disease. Sometimes I can smell the early
onset of conditions such as Parkinson’s disease or
someone who’s crashing into a diabetes coma.
My sense of smell (okay, I can’t actually smell,

BODY

PHOTO: JOHN RATA. ILLUSTRATION: GETTY.

tinana

that’s the brain’s processing job, but I pick up the
signals) also affects memory. You may have heard
that of the five senses, smell is the most effective at
triggering lost memories. But breathing through
me also improves your recall: associating smells
with events embeds them deeply. Memories lead to
emotions: that’s why I’m so important when you’re
in a place and a smell brings it all flooding back.
Smell is also a key part of what I assess when you
meet someone. A person’s smell can clue you into
all kinds of things, including your past memories
relating to them. Noses also pick up on personal
hygiene (okay, shallow, but we all do it), general
health, or even if someone’s lying: my temperature
increases if it’s fake news. But stress makes me
react the opposite way: my temperature drops,
possibly because you’re breathing more quickly.
If you’re having trouble finding your direction, I
can help. I am a built-in GPS, or rather OPS
(olfactory positioning system). As with other
animals, humans can navigate along “smell maps”
to find their way to things, such as bacon, when
other senses are muted. Yes, I know, I am awesome.
My form is also a map of your great-great-greatgrandmother’s travels. Did you know that over time,
I have evolved into different shapes, affected by
such factors as climate change and sexual
selection? I am your ancestors’ histories carried on
your face. Why would you want to change me?
I know you want to get to the sexy bit before we
finish. Have you ever noticed that when I’m blocked,
your sex drive is . . . off? That isn’t just due to
discomfort, it’s because I play a key role in your
arousal. Memory, health, attractiveness, emotion. . .
I’ve mentioned it already. But there’s also a
mysterious pit located on my septum (the bit of flesh
between the inside of the nostrils) called the VNO
(vomeronasal organ). It’s rich in nerves and blood
vessels, and some scientists think it triggers
hormone release when it detects pheromones, as it
does in other animals. Unbelievably, this isn’t an
area that has been prioritised in scientific research.
But the entire perfume industry might be built on it.
So that’s me, the quietly sexy, dangerous and
perceptive one. I know you won’t be able to look
away, now that you know my secrets. Nice to meet
you, I am your nose.

Olfactory bulb
Frontal sinus

Olfactory nerves
Sphenoid sinus

Superior nasal
concha

Middle nasal
concha
Pharingeal
tonsil

Inferior nasal
concha

Opening of
eustachian
tube

Vestibule
Soft palate

Tongue

Hard palate

Oral cavity

JUST QUIETLY, I KNOW I’M
CRUCIAL TO YOUR SURVIVAL,
PHYSICALLY, SOCIALLY AND –
DARE I SAY IT – IN LOVE
AS WELL.

Woman | 47

HEALTH

hauora

I
Diabetic Megan Whelan says

am browsing books when it happens, casually
picking up covers that look interesting, before
discarding them, constantly searching for the
thing that speaks to me. A woman glides over,
leans in for a conspiratorial whisper. “You’re so
brave to wear that,” she says. “I could never.”
Bewildered, I look down. What on earth am I
wearing? Did I inadvertently leave the house in
a bikini in the middle of winter? It’s a slogan T-shirt –
girls can do anything – and a pencil skirt. It’s all black.
Then my eye catches a glint of light, and I remember
the skirt is sequinned. And I’ve forgotten I’m fat.
I’ve spent so much of my life being told what I should
and shouldn’t do. I should: lose weight, exercise more,
have long hair (my bone structure isn’t fine enough for
it to be short), do everything I can to not be fat, even
though the overwhelming evidence says that weight
loss is an almost impossible goal for most people, hide.
I shouldn’t: be a burden on the healthcare system,
bare my upper arms, complain, wear colours or shiny
fabrics, be noticed, be happy.
That is what I learnt, and so it’s no wonder that when
the internet and the body positivity and fatacceptance movements came along, learning how to
love my body took some time, and I made some
mistakes along the way.
I am really good at quite a few things. I have a busy,
fascinating job that requires a lot of creativity and
brainpower. I am good at it. I am a good boss, a great
friend, very adept with knitting needles, and recently I
have discovered I am quite good at squats. I am
spectacularly bad at taking care of myself.
Before I discovered I had diabetes, which I am now
writing about in a regular column for RNZ, I would
regularly get to about 4pm and think to myself, “Ugh,
why is everyone so annoying. I am in such a bad mood.”
I would then realise I’d had only a scone and three
coffees that whole day. But that was OK, right?
Starving myself would help me lose weight. (To be very
clear, it did not and, no, that’s not how bodies work.)
I’d Instagram #selfcare as I applied a face mask, and
book weekends away, searching only for
accommodation that had baths. And I would remind

FAT
CHANCES
it’s okay to love your body and be mad at it in equal measure.

PHOTOGRAPHY: REBEKAH PARSONS-KING

50 | Woman

OUR BODIES ARE
ONE PART OF US
people that no one looks after things
they don’t love. Body positivity is a
wonderful thing. It has allowed so many
GETS US AROUND,
women to free themselves from the
GIVES US PLEASURE tyranny of impossible beauty standards
and entire industries that profit from us
AND HOUSES US,
hating ourselves.
SURE, BUT THEY’RE
But I don’t love my body all the time. I
don’t know anyone who does. My partner
NOT ALL OF US.
worries about his bushy eyebrows. My best
friend celebrates her calves, but frets over
her skin. I spent a decade, first through
fashion, then through hair dye, then with therapy,
learning to love my body, but when I finally started
taking care of it, it turned on me. I expected that after
all these years, joining a gym – and meaning it – and
lifting weights would mean I was healthy in no time.
Instead, I found myself at the doctor, a place I have
avoided for most of my life – like most fat people.
There is considerable evidence that fat stigma among
doctors is as bad, if not worse, as it is with the public,
and that’s one reason overweight and obese people
have poorer health outcomes.
Finding out I had diabetes felt like a betrayal – my
body betraying me just when I was caring for it – and
because of all the body positivity I had preached, being
unwell felt as if I was “selling” a lie.
But I can love my body and be mad at it in equal
measure. I can look in the mirror and think I look hot,
and also be annoyed that my knee still hurts two years
after I first injured it. I can be super proud of
managing as many lunges as I did yesterday, and be
frustrated that doing so means my calves are so tight
today that walking downstairs to the bathroom hurts.
We don’t have to “yassssss queen!!!” ourselves into
oblivion, and we don’t have to spend all our time
wishing we lived up to the billboards we see while
driving in the city. Our bodies are one part of us – the
part that gets us around, gives us pleasure and houses
us, sure, but they’re not all of us. To me, the curve of
your waist is not nearly as interesting as your story
– the bit I spend my day job on. Your eye colour might
be striking, but I’d rather hear about what makes you
Megan Whelan is
excited. I’d rather hear your voice quiver when you talk
the Head of Content
about how much you love your child, or watch your eyes
at RNZ, an MC,
public speaker
light up when you talk about a new album you’ve
and fan of making
discovered.
things. Her new
I am aware of the irony. I am writing about diabetes
weekly column,
Diabetes and Me, is
because I hope it might help people. Not just people
available at
like me, but anyone who’s spent far too much of their
rnz.co.nz/
adult life thinking about their body, and wishes that
diabetesandme.
maybe, just for a bit, we could talk about something
else for a while.

– THE PART THAT

Woman | 51

WRITING

tuhituhinga

The peculiar story of Katherine
Mansfield’s hair. By Fiona Oliver.

T

he Turnbull Library has not one, but two locks of hair
that grew on the head of this country’s most famous –
and perhaps most fetishised – writer. The cult of
personality that surrounds Katherine Mansfield is
remarkable, and 133 years after her birth, it continues
to intensify, the ripples she sent into the world growing
and widening and taking on a life of their own.
You could argue it is the stunning fact of her short, tragic life that
provokes our fascination. But other writers’ lives have been no less
devastating: Janet Frame (whose mother, incidentally, was once
housemaid to the Mansfield family) certainly had her moments – two
sisters drowned in separate incidents, she miscarried a baby, and her
imagination was misdiagnosed as schizophrenia, causing her to be sent
to asylums where she received more than 200 electric-shock
treatments (but narrowly escaped a lobotomy). And Robin Hyde’s life,
too, was no less awful – addicted to morphine, she also lost a baby and
had to give up another. Her attempted suicide and nervous breakdowns
led to long periods in asylums, and she finally killed herself with poison.
The shining works of these women, despite their hardships, outlive
them, but it is only the body of Mansfield that is still fresh in the public
imagination.

The ponytail
Katherine Mansfield’s
ponytail, c.1913.
Ref: Curios-018-1-012
Katherine’s ponytail came to
the Turnbull Library in a black
tin trunk that was part of the
estate of her husband John
Middleton Murry. Also in the
trunk was a scrapbook of
material relating to Katherine’s
brother Leslie, a few letters,
chequebooks, account
books, and copies of
manuscript poems.
Katherine’s bobbed hair
would become her trademark look. She cut off her
ponytail, which is almost half a metre long, between
1908 and 1911 in a bold act of defiance and rejection of
her Victorian childhood. They were turbulent years:
she experimented with sex and drugs, got married and
left her husband the next day, got pregnant and
delivered a stillborn baby alone in a hotel room. She
destroyed her writing, letters and photos from this
period, but kept the ponytail – it was a part of her,
after all, and perhaps a reminder of a more innocent
time, which, by then, was irretrievable.

The lock of hair

Lock of hair belonging to
Katherine Mansfield, c.1920.
Ref: Curios-018-006
The second of the Mansfield
locks was left in a cottage
rented by John Middleton
Murry after his wife’s death. He
worked there, drastically
cutting and restyling
Katherine’s literary remains
for publication. Why did he
bring the hair with him? Did he
leave it behind accidentally, or
intentionally?
If he was trying to forget his
dead wife, he could not. Although he quickly remarried, the resemblance of his new wife, Violet Le
Maistre, to Katherine was remarkable – similar in
looks, with the same chestnut hair, also a writer, and
also to die prematurely of tuberculosis. The two
women converged in life and in death. During his
courtship with Violet, John repeatedly dreamt of
Katherine lying in her coffin, “swathed in black and
white . . . with her head lifted. She was not dead, and she
had been struggling (for life?) below”. When the couple
had a daughter, she was named Katherine.
The playing out of this Gothic obsession brings to
mind Emily Brontë’s novel Wuthering Heights. Maybe
this was self-styled – after all, John was a literary
critic. He seemed to be casting himself as a kind of
Heathcliff type, who was haunted by the death of his
soulmate, also, of course, called Catherine. If not quite
the Yorkshire moors, a country cottage may have been
considered adequately bleak and isolated, and there,
with the lock of hair before him, he may
have reimagined the famous scene where
Heathcliff digs up Catherine’s grave
because he wants to hold her again.
SHE CUT OFF HER
The lock of hair is a vector for
PONYTAIL. . .
Katherine’s presence, both intimate and
physical, and John’s feelings of guilt and
BETWEEN 1908 AND
grief, and his violent need for physical
1911 IN A BOLD ACT
connection, which he had by then found in
the body of his dead wife’s living
OF DEFIANCE AND
surrogate. But given these intertwined
REJECTION OF HER
identities, whose lock of hair is it? Is it
Katherine’s – or could it be Violet’s?

VICTORIAN

CHILDHOOD.

52 | Woman

Visitors to Alexander Turnbull Library in
Wellington can view Katherine
Mansfield’s hair on request.

PAINTING BY ANNE ESTELLE RICE, WELLINGTON, NATIONAL ART GALLERY: GETTY. ARTICLE REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM THE NATIONAL LIBRARY OF NEW ZEALAND.

The curious case of

the hair in the cabinet

Woman | 53

HOOKED ON

COATS
In the first days after I moved to live in Berlin (oh, it was a
long, long time ago), I remember feeling conspicuous
because I didn’t wear a coat. I had not owned a coat since
school days, when my mother used to insist I take one in
case it rained, and I would hide it in the letterbox after I
left the house. I didn’t want to have to drag it around
with me all day. Coats were annoying things that you
were always taking off. If it rained, an umbrella was
better. But that city taught me otherwise. A coat is the
most essential thing you’ll ever have in your wardrobe.
A coat speaks attitude. It speaks both daring and
nonchalance. It’s here for the business, here for the
game, the silhouette you need for a getaway, the apparel
you need for a walk. A coat says the world’s my oyster
and I’m here for it. The coats on these pages are truly
gorgeous. Ample swathes of wool to climb inside.
Pocketed and belted, they’re a shield against the world.
– Susanna Andrew
STYLIST: ANASTASIA DONIANTS
MAKE-UP: CHANELLE KENNEDY
MODEL: PAMELA SIDHU
PHOTOGRAPHY: LUKE HARVEY

54 | Woman

Left: Modern
Times coat by
Gloria, $780;
Marnie pants by
Twenty-Seven
Names, $420;
Nostalgia sleeper
hoops by Silk
& Steel, $199;
Charles Jourdan
Katibe heels from
Lineageeri, $850.

Right: Totéme
coat, from
FABRIC, $1299;
Marnie pants by
Twenty-Seven
Names, $420;
Lana merino
wool skivvy by
Hailwood, $299;
Charles Jourdan
Katibe heels from
Lineage, $850;
Nostalgia sleeper
hoops by Silk &
Steel, $199;
Emily beret
from Cotton On,
$19.99; vintage
leather gloves,
borrowed from
Unity Books.

Rosa wool coat
by Hailwood,
$599; Cassie
wool scarf by
Hailwood, $249;
Marnie pants by
Twenty-Seven
Names, $420;
Charles Jourdan
Katibe heels
from Lineage,
$850; Minerva
gold pendant by
Hailwood, $229
Nostalgia
sleeper hoops by
Silk & Steel, $199.

Rosalie shirt by
Samsøe Samsøe
from FABRIC,
$449; LilyMontana drops
by Hailwood,
$339; Sailor jeans
by Kowtow, $289.

Woman | 57

Coat by COS, POA;
Camilla and Marc
Coppola Top,
$360; Sailor jeans
by Kowtow, $289;
Nostalgia sleeper
hoops by Silk & Steel,
$199; sandals by
COS, POA.

Tartan trench
from Search &
Destroy, $140;
Violet tank top
by Kowtow, $79;
Eternity sleeper
hoops by Silk &
Steel, $199.

Woman | 59

Above: Modern
Times coat by
Gloria, $780;
Marnie pants by
Twenty-Seven
Names, $420;
cotton tulle top,
Standard Issue,
$195; Minerva
gold pendant by
Hailwood, $229;
Nostalgia sleeper
hoops by Silk &
Steel, $199;
Charles Jourdan
Katibe heels,
Lineage, $850.

Wool jacket by
COS, POA; Mejsi
shirt by Samsøe
Samsøe from
FABRIC, $199;
R.M. Williams
Traditional belt,
$140; Remy cords
by Penny Sage,
$420; Nostalgia
sleeper hoops by
Silk & Steel, $199.

60 | Woman

Totéme coat from
FABRIC, $1299;
Marnie pants by
Twenty-Seven
Names, $420;
Charles Jourdan
Katibe heels from
Lineage, $850;
Emily beret from
Cotton On, $19.99;
vintage leather
gloves, borrowed
from Unity Books.

MASK the issue

A change of season is a great time to reassess your skin’s needs
and think about adding a weekly mask to your routine.

S

pending much more time at home over the
past two years has refocused many of us on
our skincare regimes. Not being able to
access our beloved beauty therapists, seeing
far too much of our own mug on Zoom calls,
wearing less makeup and having a little more time to
invest into our daily routines have meant we’re more
interested than ever in achieving great skin.
Excellent at-home treatments are increasingly
popular, with women seeking ways to get clinic-worthy
results in the comfort of their own bathroom. While
overdoing the actives and incorporating too many
unnecessary (and potentially harmful) products isn’t
always advisable, a weekly mask as part of a quality
routine is always beneficial. It’s a great way to infuse
skin with a concentration of ingredients that target
your particular concerns. All masks have their own

62 | Woman

usage instructions, so follow these to the letter and
remember to remove with lukewarm, not hot water.
A change of season is a great time to reassess your
skin’s needs. Now that we’re well into autumn and the
weather is getting cooler, humidity levels drop and the
heating goes on. These factors suck the moisture out
of skin, leaving it parched and thirsty. Nourishing it
with a rich, hydrating mask will plump it up as well as
soothe and calm any irritation caused by the elements.
Look for masks with hyaluronic acid, ceramides,
vitamin E and niacinamide, which are all known for
their deeply moisturising, restorative and
replenishing properties.
Women who battle congestion, prominent pores and
breakouts need a different mask prescription. Kaolin
clay and charcoal are saviours for this skin type – they
help to clarify, detoxify and draw out excess oil and

BEAUTY

rerehua

Top tip:

DON’T BE AFRAID
TO APPLY A
HYDRATING MASK
TO DRY AREAS,
THEN A
DETOXIFYING ONE
TO YOUR T-ZONE TO
TREAT ENLARGED

PHOTO: GETTY.

PORES.

impurities without dehydrating or disrupting the
barrier. But what if you suffer from dryness and acne?
The good news is that multi-masking is very much a
thing. Don’t be afraid to apply a hydrating mask to dry
areas, then a detoxifying one to your T-zone, where
most people have enlarged pores and congestion.
If you want to improve your skin’s overall
appearance – refine texture, even tone, improve
clarity and minimise fine lines and wrinkles – look for
masks that contain collagen peptides, acids and
vitamins A, C and B5. Skin damage can be caused by
ageing, stress, sun and pollution, and the above
ingredients and powerful antioxidants work to
counteract this damage and repair skin.
Sheet masks continue to have their major moment.
As well as getting great results, they’re a fun,
pampering treat as part of a relaxing self-care ritual.
These single-use superstars are fabulous for
hydrating, nourishing and brightening skin and work
particularly well on the go, especially during long
flights. Applying a sheet mask before a night out is

Beauty Editor
AMY HOULIHAN

also a great way to get a beautifully plumped, primed
and glowy canvas for your makeup.
The sheet-masking trend has also inspired the
creation of innovative eye and lip masks, where the full
face-mask concept targets specific areas that require
a little more TLC. Under-eye masks are little serumsoaked cloth or gel pads that work to rejuvenate the
look and feel of the area, as well as cooling, soothing,
depuffing and tightening. Lip masks are either
pout-shaped patches infused with hydrating, soothing
properties, or rich balms and butters to massage in.
Next-generation light masks take things to a whole
new level. They’re designed to offer the soothing,
skin-stimulating and rejuvenating properties of
in-clinic LED light therapy. Blue light destroys
acne-causing bacteria and encourages healing, while
red light boosts collagen and elastin and enhances
natural defence mechanisms. They’re not cheap, and
they may scare your children, but they’ve had amazing
reviews and become a cult favourite among skincare
aficionados.

Woman | 63

Here are a selection of new and old masks that cover all bases.

Beauty Editor
AMY HOULIHAN

MURAD CLARIFYING
MASK, $80.
This soothing,
medicated mask has
a clay-based formula
that helps treat and
prevent breakouts. It’s
the perfect addition to
˔˦˘˥˜ˢ˨˦˔˖ˡ˘ʠЃ˚˛˧˜ˡ˚
regime and includes
kaolin and bentonite to
purify and deep clean,
while sulphur reduces
the severity of pimples
as it encourages skin
to heal.

64 | Woman

DR DENNIS GROSS
SPECTRALITE FACEWARE
PRO, $711.
Said to “reverse years
of damage with zero
downtime”, this device
offers a three-minute
wrinkle-reducing, acneЃ˚˛˧˜ˡ˚˧˥˘˔˧ˠ˘ˡ˧˙ˢ˥
your entire face. It’s
Ѓ˧˧˘˗˪˜˧˛ʤʣʣ˥˘˗ʿʸʷ
lights and 62 blue.

BONDI SANDS PURE SELF
TANNING SLEEP MASK,
$26.99.
This handy hybrid
imparts a gorgeous
golden glow and also
Єˢˢ˗˦˧˛˘˦˞˜ˡˢ˩˘˥ˡ˜˚˛˧
with hyaluronic acid for
hydration, vitamin C for
brightening and vitamin
E for repair.

ESTÉE LAUDER
ADVANCED NIGHT
REPAIR EYE MASKS, $92.
These under-eye pads
are infused with the
iconic Advanced Night
Repair serum and
when used at night
weekly, will soothe,
hydrate and refresh
˗˘˟˜˖˔˧˘˦˞˜ˡʡʿ˘˔˩˘ˢˡ
˙ˢ˥ʤʣˠ˜ˡ˨˧˘˦ʟ˧˛˘ˡˣ˔˧
in any leftover serum.

LEMON & BEAKER
GALVANIC BRIGHTENING
SHEET MASK, $25.
A sheet mask that’s a
little different from the
rest. It has microcurrent
galvanic charged
points that allow better
delivery of its semigel serum. The serum
has been formulated
to provide intense
˛ˬ˗˥˔˧˜ˢˡʟ˪˜˧˛ˠ͓ˡ˨˞˔
oil to nourish skin, along
with harakeke extract to
soothe and replenish.

DR LEWINN’S ULTRA R4
COLLAGEN SURGE OVERNIGHT
SLEEP MASK, $84.99.
With more and more
consumers seeking solutions
to enhance sleep and reduce
telltale signs of exhaustion,
the “anti-fatigue market” is
taking off. This new mask is
formulated with a complex
range of active ingredients,
including collagen
peptides and a sleep
fragrance, to transform skin
overnight. It comes in a dualchamber delivery system,
which results in double the
serum power.

dry skin?
Rosehip Oil is scientifically proven to reduce the appearance of
fine lines, stretch marks, and improve the look of skin firmness,
while boosting moisture and hydrating the skin.
Try the below regime or click on the QR code below to find the
perfect skincare regime for you.

Hydrating Rosehip

Hydrating Rosehip

Hydrating Rosehip

GEL FOAMING CLEANSER

CERTIFIED ORGANIC ROSEHIP OIL

REGENERATING MOISTURISER

• Combines active natural
New Zealand botanicals
(Harakeke and Mamaku) with
cold pressed Rosehip Oil
• Cleanses without stripping your
skin’s natural oils
• Prepares your skin for better
absorption of actives

Scientifically formulated to help:
• Soften the look of scars, fine
lines and stretch marks
• Boost moisture and hydrate the skin
• Improve the look of your skin’s
firmness and even out skin tone

Scientifically formulated to help:
• Provide daily skin nourishment
and intense hydration
• Restore skin’s protective
moisture barrier
• Improve the appearance of
fine lines and wrinkles

essano.co.nz
essano_beauty
essanobeauty

To get your very own customised essanoTM
skincare routine, head to essano.co.nz
or simply scan the code.

CRUELTY FREE

MOTHER’S DAY

Treat your queen to one of these covetable
beauty gifts this Mother’s Day. From
stunning New Zealand-made home
fragrances to luxurious skincare, candles
and cosmetics, you’ll find something here
to show how much you adore her.

1

1

2

Perfect for warming up
winter evenings at home,
Ecoya’s new limited-edition
fragrance is a sweet, velvety,
comforting and creamy one. The
Madison candle combines notes
of cassis cream, blackberries
and honeycomb atop warm
wintery notes of sandalwood,
vanilla and white musk.

eyeshadow palette includes five
perfectly matched matte and
shimmer shades that are ideal
for sensitive eyes, as they’re
made with finely milled mineral
pigments. It makes a great gift,
as the colours are universally
flattering and matched to
complement each other
perfectly.

Ecoya Limited Edition
Honeycomb & Cassis Madison
Candle, $54.95.

Jane Iredale Pure Pressed
Eyeshadow Palette, various prices.

2

As we’re still wearing
masks when we’re out and
about, it’s all about the eyes
right now. This gorgeous new

3

Instead of flowers, why
not gift Mum a florally
fragranced candle that’ll last
much longer? This limitededition, triple-scented soy
candle contains
notes of water
lily and yuzu and
comes in a glass
6
vessel that’s
adorned with
scenes from an
enchanted garden.

Glasshouse Fragrances Limited
Edition Velvet Rhapsody TripleScented Soy Candles, $59.99.

4

Shiseido’s Ultimune
Power Concentrate is a
bestselling serum that works
to prevent skin damage caused
by ageing, while enhancing its
smoothness and radiance. This
gift set comes in a pretty box
that also contains a clarifying
cleansing foam, which takes
care of two key steps in a great
skincare regime.

Shiseido Ultimune set, $200
(valued at $265).

5

If Mum is a fan of
Lancôme’s iconic La Vie
Est Belle fragrance, or she
loves elegant, fresh, floral
scents, she’ll adore the latest
incarnation in the line. The
bottle comes emblazoned
with a beautiful crystal
motif, so makes a stunning

7

66 | Woman

Beauty Editor
AMY HOULIHAN

4

addition to a bathroom shelf
or dressing table.
Lancôme Oui La Vie Est Belle,
$145, 50ml.

6

Beauty from the inside
out is one of the industry’s
biggest trends, and these
four mini-bio-fermented
elixirs are targeted to suit
specific skin needs. Each does
a precise job when it comes
to assisting skin from within
and they help with hydration
and gut health, refreshing
fatigued and stressed skin and
strengthening hair and nails –
to name a few.

8

Take Mum on a trip down
memory lane and help
her create a sense of aromatic
calm at home with these
beautifully boxed incense
sticks. They’re infused
with one The Virtue’s eight
decadent, unique fragrances,
which are made right here in
New Zealand. Founder Brooke
Lean says, “We want to elevate
the perception of incense,
releasing those childhood
or teenage memories of
overwhelming white sage,
and inviting lovers of home
fragrance to usher in a new,
modern take on incense that

5

creates a type of exquisite
ritual, elevating our existence
in and around our home.”
The Virtue Premium HandRolled Charcoal Incense,
$58 for a pack of 50 sticks.

9

This new fragrance
diffuser is perfect for
women who love fresh,
clean and uplifting scents
in their home. It’s fragranced
with top notes of citrus and
pear, layered over a blend
of marine, green florals
and lily.
Linden Leaves Aqua Lily Midi
Fragrance Diffuser, $24.99.

The Beauty Chef Brighter
Boost Set, $54.

7

Powered with East
Cape mānuka oil and
rosehip oil, this pack has
been curated to cover every
step of a skincare routine
and focuses on protecting
and rejuvenating skin. It’s
100 percent natural and
New Zealand-made, with
the day cream, night cream,
cream cleanser, skin oil and
eye cream working with
each other to reduce the
appearance of fine lines
and wrinkles.

ˀ͓ˡ˨˞˔˅˫ Pro-Aging Ritual,
$211.75.

8

TREATS

3

9

HEALTH

hauora

AN APP for that

T

here’s much talk these days about how
damaging it is to be glued to our phones
24/7. Constant scrolling is bad for our
mental health, we’re told, sets a bad
example for our kids, and even causes
neck and back pain. But there’s another side to tech: its
power can be harnessed for good, and even to improve
our health. Here’s a rundown of some of the apps, sites
and resources we can use to help us be healthier.

Diet trackers
If we’re wanting to eat better, there’s value in keeping
track of what we’re actually eating. It’s a good starting
point for any change we’re looking to make,
establishing a baseline and helping to identify any
surprises: patterns or habits that are not serving our
health. Once we start a new habit, tracking what we’re
eating can help keep us on the right path; there’s
nothing like being accountable for what we’re doing,
even when it’s just to an electronic helper. Diet

68 | Woman

Diet tracking apps
can help motivate
you to start good,
healthy habits and
keep them going,
and can also be
very educational
when it comes to
nutrition.

trackers can also be educational, too. For example, it’s
fascinating to see where the calcium, protein and fibre
are coming from in my diet. They can be timeconsuming, though, and it’s not the most intuitive way
to eat, but for short bursts, take your pick from a
range of useful apps. For a fuller picture, choose one
that also tracks your activity.
O MY FAVOURITE: Easy Diet Diary is based on local
data, meaning it’s more accurate for New Zealand.
And you can scan barcodes and add your favourite
branded foods.
O CAUTION NEEDED: If you’ve had an eating
disorder, diet trackers are not for you. For everyone
else, if you start to feel controlled by the need to
record your food, step away.
O SPECIAL MENTION: Other online services that can
lead to better eating include meal delivery
subscriptions – they put healthy food right into your
kitchen – and grocery shopping, which can help avoid
impulse supermarket purchases.

PHOTO: GETTY.

Can technology help us become healthier?

Online workouts

Health Editor
NIKI BEZZANT

THERE’S EVIDENCE

Gyms are great and so are self-directed exercise
regimens such as running, cycling and walking. But if
working out in the convenience of your living room has
appeal, there are thousands of options to choose from,
and many are excellent and – bonus – free! If you’re
looking for quality online workouts on YouTube or
other platforms, go for qualified, experienced trainers.
Search using criteria that are meaningful for you:
whether it’s strength training for women over 40, or a
quick yoga workout – whatever you’re after, there’s a
video or channel for you.
O MY FAVOURITE: I love Canadian trainer PJ Wren,
who specialises in workouts for women over 50. Search
for “Fitness with PJ” on YouTube.

Sleep aids

There are a tonne of apps aimed at
SOCIAL MEDIA CAN MAKE
improving the quality and quantity of our
sleep. Some track your habits to help
US FEEL MORE ANXIOUS
develop good sleep routines, whereas
others use calming meditation, stories,
AND LESS HAPPY, AND
videos and music to help you fall asleep. It
AFFECT OUR SELF-IMAGE
might take a bit of trial and error to find
what works best for you. And don’t forget
IN NEGATIVE WAYS. IF
your phone probably has inbuilt functions
YOU FOLLOW PEOPLE
you can use to help you sleep, too.
O MY FAVOURITE: I’ve set up the
WHOSE POSTS MAKE YOU
“bedtime” function on my phone to remind
FEEL BAD ABOUT
me to wind down half an hour before bed,
and to turn off all notifications at night
YOURSELF – HIT THE
until the alarm goes in the morning. It also
tracks my sleep against my sleep goals. If
UNFOLLOW BUTTON.
it’s an app you’re after, Calm features
guided meditation, sleep-inducing music
and just-boring-enough stories to help
you drop off.
Symptom trackers and health
O SPECIAL MENTION: The SnoreLab app is a boon
condition apps
for night-time buzzsaws: record your snoring and you
If you’re struggling with a health condition, some apps
might discover useful ways to alleviate it. It can even
can give insights into what’s going on. Choose from
help diagnose sleep apnoea.
period trackers or apps that nudge us to drink more
Mental health helpers
water, through to symptom trackers for particular
We live in anxious times, so it’s no surprise there are
health challenges. When it comes to symptoms, it’s not
lots of tech solutions to ease stress, anxiety and other
always easy to remember what happened and when, so
mental health issues. A great free resource if you’re
tracking can provide a record to take to your doctor. It
feeling really down is the 1737 phone or text line.
may also help identify triggers for certain symptoms.
O MY FAVOURITES: The Monash University FODMAP
Available any time, day or night, it puts you in contact
Diet app is a “gold standard” for irritable bowel
with a trained professional to talk things through. On
syndrome sufferers. If you’re trying to figure out what’s
the app front, search for “anxiety” and you’ll find a
happening in your perimenopausal body, the Balance
heap of helpers, from breathing and meditation apps
app is a comprehensive way to track symptoms and
to the very cute Worrydolls app that lets you offload to
cycles and get accurate advice.
a digital doll.
O CAUTION NEEDED: If you have any abnormal
O MY FAVOURITE: Calm is a stress-busting app that
symptoms, don’t self-diagnose (especially not with an
can guide you through calming meditation to help with
app!). Make sure you get checked out properly before
anxiety, sleep and focus. It even has mood-boosting
using any digital management tools.
workouts to try.

Woman | 69

FOOD

kai

Taking
your pulses
Sophie Steevens shares delicious, healthy and versatile
plant-based meals from her new book Simple Wholefoods.

Mediterranean smashed
chickpea sandwich filler
Serves 3
400g can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
(or 1½ cups cooked chickpeas)
¼ cupЃˡ˘˟ˬ˖˛ˢˣˣ˘˗˙˥˘˦˛ˣ˔˥˦˟˘ˬ
¼ cupЃˡ˘˟ˬ˗˜˖˘˗˥˘˗˖˔ˣ˦˜˖˨ˠ
6-8 pitted˕˟˔˖˞ˢ˥˚˥˘˘ˡˢ˟˜˩˘˦ʟЃˡ˘˟ˬ˦˟˜˖˘˗
½ tsp onion powder
¼ tsp˚˥ˢ˨ˡ˗˧˨˥ˠ˘˥˜˖
2 tbsp˛˨˟˟˘˗˧˔˛˜ˡ˜
2 tbsp ˟˘ˠˢˡ˝˨˜˖˘
1 tbspˣ˨˥˘ˠ˔ˣ˟˘˦ˬ˥˨ˣ
1 tbsp˪˛ˢ˟˘˚˥˔˜ˡˠ˨˦˧˔˥˗
sea salt and cracked pepper˧ˢ˧˔˦˧˘
TO SERVE (OPTIONAL)
˟˘˧˧˨˖˘ˢ˥˦˜˟˩˘˥˕˘˘˧˖˨ˣ˦
˦˟˜˖˘˗˦ˣ˥˜ˡ˚ˢˡ˜ˢˡ
˖˛˜˟˟˜Є˔˞˘˦

70 | Woman

1. I love the flavour combination of this easy egg-like
mash, which can be put together in just five minutes.
This recipe is a great one to make ahead and have in
the fridge for a wholesome bite, ready to be dolloped
into sandwiches or leafy green lettuce cups.
Chickpeas are high in fibre, with a mild flavour and
soft texture that makes them a versatile addition to
many plant-based meals. You’ll even find them in
baked treats! They work well in this recipe as a mashed
egg or tuna replacement.
2. Place the chickpeas in a bowl and mash with a fork,
leaving a few small chunks.
3. Add the parsley, capsicum, olives, onion powder and
turmeric, then toss to combine.
4. In a separate bowl, place the tahini, lemon juice,
maple syrup and wholegrain mustard. Whisk until
smooth.
5. Add the tahini mixture to the chickpeas, mix to
combine, then season to taste.
6. To serve, spoon into lettuce or silverbeet cups and
top with spring onion and chilli flakes if desired. Any
leftovers can be stored in a sealed container in the
fridge for up to five days.

Recipes extracted
from Simple
Wholefoods by
Sophie Steevens,
Allen & Unwin,
RRP $49.99.

Woman | 71

Spiced roast cauliflower, green
lentils and toasted almonds
with smoky yoghurt
Serves 4 or 6-8 as a side
SPICED CAULIFLOWER
1 head˖˔˨˟˜Єˢ˪˘˥ʟ˖˨˧˜ˡ˧ˢЄˢ˥˘˧˦ʟ˧˛˘ˡ˧˛˜˖˞˟ˬ˦˟˜˖˘˗
2 tbspˢ˟˜˩˘ˢ˜˟
1 tsp˚˥ˢ˨ˡ˗˖˨ˠ˜ˡ
1 tsp˚˥ˢ˨ˡ˗˧˨˥ˠ˘˥˜˖
1 tspˣ˔ˣ˥˜˞˔
½ tspˢˡ˜ˢˡˣˢ˪˗˘˥
pinch˖˔ˬ˘ˡˡ˘ˣ˘ˣˣ˘˥ʛˢˣ˧˜ˢˡ˔˟ʜ
LENTIL BASE
1 cup ˗˥˜˘˗˚˥˘˘ˡ˟˘ˡ˧˜˟˦ʟ˥˜ˡ˦˘˗
3 cups˪˔˧˘˥
¾ cup˦˟˜˖˘˗˔˟ˠˢˡ˗˦
1½ cupsЃˡ˘˟ˬ˦˟˜˖˘˗˖˨˥˟ˬ˞˔˟˘ˢ˥˖˔˩ˢ˟ˢˡ˘˥ˢ˟˘˔˩˘˦
1 cup˥ˢ˨˚˛˟ˬ˖˛ˢˣˣ˘˗˙˥˘˦˛ˠ˜ˡ˧˟˘˔˩˘˦ʟˣ˟˨˦˘˫˧˥˔
ˠ˜ˡ˧˟˘˔˩˘˦˧ˢ˦˘˥˩˘
2 tbsp˧˔ˠ˔˥˜
3 tbsp˟˘ˠˢˡ˝˨˜˖˘
1 tbsp˖ˢ˥˜˔ˡ˗˘˥˦˘˘˗˦
1 tbspˣ˨˥˘ˠ˔ˣ˟˘˦ˬ˥˨ˣ
1 tsp˦˘˔˦˔˟˧
SMOKY YOGHURT DRESSING
½ cup˖ˢ˖ˢˡ˨˧ˬˢ˚˛˨˥˧
1 tbsp˟˘ˠˢˡ˝˨˜˖˘
2 tsp˧˔ˠ˔˥˜
1 tspˣ˨˥˘ˠ˔ˣ˟˘˦ˬ˥˨ˣ
½-¾ tsp˦ˠˢ˞˘˗ˣ˔ˣ˥˜˞˔
½ tsp˚˔˥˟˜˖ˣˢ˪˗˘˥

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C fan-bake. Line a large
baking tray with baking paper.
2. SPICED CAULIFLOWER Place all the ingredients in a
bowl and toss until the cauliflower is evenly coated in
the spices. Transfer to the prepared tray and spread
out in a single layer. Bake for about 25 minutes, or until
cauliflower is tender.
3. LENTIL BASE Place the lentils and water in a
saucepan, cover, then bring to a boil. Reduce the heat
and simmer for 20-25 minutes, or until soft. Drain and
set aside.
4. Heat a small frying pan over medium-high heat. Add
the almonds, then toast, swirling the pan almost
constantly to avoid burning, for about 2 minutes or
until fragrant.
5. SMOKY YOGHURT DRESSING Place all the
ingredients in a bowl and mix to combine.
6. To make the salad, put the kale, mint, tamari, lemon
juice, coriander seeds, maple syrup and salt in a large
bowl. Add the roasted cauliflower, lentils and most of
the toasted almonds, then toss to combine.
7. To serve, transfer the salad to a serving plate and
scatter over the reserved almonds and the extra mint
leaves. Drizzle over the smoky yoghurt. Serve any
remaining dressing on the side.

72 | Woman

Be adventurous with roast cauliflower. I
love combining it with legumes, such as
chickpeas and lentils, or gluten-free
wholegrains to create a solid salad base. In this
salad, the spiced cauliflower plays against the
carefully curated lentil mixture, and it’s finished
with a drizzle of the flavoursome yoghurt to
conquer an outstanding, hearty salad.

Garlic broccoli, chickpeas, red chilli and rocket
with turmeric tahini yoghurt
Serves 4 or 6-8 as a side
3 small heads of broccoli, cut into
˦ˠ˔˟˟Єˢ˥˘˧˦
400g can chickpeas, drained and
rinsed (or 1 ½ cups cooked chickpeas)
8 garlic clovesʟЃˡ˘˟ˬ˖˛ˢˣˣ˘˗
olive oil (optional)
sea salt and cracked pepper to taste
¼ cup pine nuts
2 large˛˔ˡ˗˙˨˟˦˕˔˕ˬ˥ˢ˖˞˘˧˟˘˔˩˘˦
1-2 red ˖˛˜˟˟˜˘˦ʟЃˡ˘˟ˬ˦˟˜˖˘˗ʛ˦˘˘˗˜˙
desired)
1 avocado, stoned and sliced
TURMERIC TAHINI YOGHURT
1/
3 cup ˖ˢ˖ˢˡ˨˧ˬˢ˚˛˨˥˧
2 tbsp hulled tahini
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tbsp tamari
1 tbspˣ˨˥˘ˠ˔ˣ˟˘˦ˬ˥˨ˣ
½ tsp˚˥ˢ˨ˡ˗˧˨˥ˠ˘˥˜˖
½ tsp˔ˣˣ˟˘˖˜˗˘˥˩˜ˡ˘˚˔˥
½ tsp˚˔˥˟˜˖ˣˢ˪˗˘˥
¼ tspˠ˜˟˗ˬ˘˟˟ˢ˪˖˨˥˥ˬˣˢ˪˗˘˥

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C fan-bake.
Line a large baking tray with baking
paper.
2. Spread the broccoli, chickpeas
and garlic evenly on the prepared
tray. Lightly drizzle with olive oil, if
using, then season to taste. Bake for
15-18 minutes, or until the broccoli is
just tender and slightly charred.
3. Meanwhile, heat a frying pan over
medium heat. Add the pine nuts and
cook, tossing frequently to avoid
burning, for about 2 minutes or until
fragrant. Set aside.
4. Place all the turmeric tahini
yoghurt ingredients in a small
bowl, then mix until smooth and
creamy.
5. To serve, place all the ingredients
in a large bowl, reserving some chilli
slices to garnish, and gently toss to
combine. Transfer to a serving plate
and garnish with extra slices of chilli.

Woman | 73

Creamy Alfredo spaghetti
with caramelised onion,
broccoli and cheesy kale
Serves 4
1 head˕˥ˢ˖˖ˢ˟˜ʟ˖˨˧˜ˡ˧ˢЄˢ˥˘˧˦
250g˚˟˨˧˘ˡʠ˙˥˘˘˦ˣ˔˚˛˘˧˧˜
CHEESY KALE
1 bunch˖˨˥˟ˬ˞˔˟˘ˢ˥˖˔˩ˢ˟ˢˡ˘˥ˢʟ˦˧˘ˠ˦˥˘ˠˢ˩˘˗ʟ
˟˘˔˩˘˦˥ˢ˨˚˛˟ˬ˖˛ˢˣˣ˘˗
2 tspˢ˟˜˩˘ˢ˜˟
2 tbspˡ˨˧˥˜˧˜ˢˡ˔˟ˬ˘˔˦˧
sea salt and cracked pepperʟ˧ˢ˧˔˦˧˘
¼ cup˙˥˘˦˛˧˛ˬˠ˘˟˘˔˩˘˦
¼-½ tsp˖˛˜˟˟˜Є˔˞˘˦ʛˢˣ˧˜ˢˡ˔˟ʜ
CARAMELISED ONIONS
1 tbspˢ˟˜˩˘ˢ˥˔˩ˢ˖˔˗ˢˢ˜˟ʛˢˣ˧˜ˢˡ˔˟ʜ
2 large˥˘˗ˢˡ˜ˢˡ˦ʟ˦˟˜˖˘˗
2 tbsp˕˔˟˦˔ˠ˜˖˩˜ˡ˘˚˔˥
1½ tbsp˖ˢ˖ˢˡ˨˧˦˨˚˔˥ˢ˥ˣ˨˥˘ˠ˔ˣ˟˘˦ˬ˥˨ˣ
CREAMY ALFREDO SAUCE
1 cup˥˔˪˖˔˦˛˘˪˦ʟˣ˥˘ʠ˦ˢ˔˞˘˗
¾ cup˥˜˖˘ˠ˜˟˞ʛˢ˥ˢ˧˛˘˥ˣ˟˔ˡ˧ˠ˜˟˞ʜ
½ cupˡ˨˧˥˜˧˜ˢˡ˔˟ˬ˘˔˦˧
2 celery stalks
2 tbsp˟˘ˠˢˡ˝˨˜˖˘
2 garlic cloves
1 tbsp˪˛ˢ˟˘˚˥˔˜ˡˠ˨˦˧˔˥˗
1 tbsp˙˥˘˦˛˥ˢ˦˘ˠ˔˥ˬ˟˘˔˩˘˦
¼ tsp˦˘˔˦˔˟˧

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C fan-bake. Line a large
baking tray with baking paper.
2. CHEESY KALE Place the kale or cavolo nero and oil in
a large bowl. Using your hands, massage the oil into
the leaves for about 1 minute or until they begin to
soften. Add the yeast, season to taste, then massage
the flavours into the leaves until evenly coated. Set
aside.
3. Spread the broccoli on the prepared tray in a single
layer. Bake for 10 minutes. Add the kale, then bake for
a further 10 minutes, or until the broccoli is just tender
and the kale is wilted and slightly charred. Watch
closely as the kale will burn quickly.
4. Bring a large saucepan of water to a boil. Add the
pasta, then cook according to the packet instructions.
5. CARAMELISED ONIONS Heat the oil, if using, in a
large frying pan over medium-high heat. Add the
onion, then cook for 10 minutes, stirring frequently,
until very soft and starting to caramelise. Add the
vinegar and coconut sugar, reduce the heat, then
continue to cook for a further five minutes, or until the
onion mixture is dark brown and caramelised.
6. CREAMY ALFREDO SAUCE Blitz all the ingredients in
a blender for 30 seconds or until smooth and creamy.
7. Drain the pasta, then transfer to a large serving
bowl. Add the caramelised onion, broccoli and kale,
thyme leaves and chilli flakes (if using), then pour over
the sauce. Gently mix everything until well combined.

74 | Woman

You can definitely count on this comforting pasta for an easy
weekday dinner. There are many things to love about it, from the
cheesy, crispy kale to the caramelised onion, flavourful Alfredo
sauce and aromatic fresh thyme. Each element does its part to
create a heavenly pasta dish everyone will love.

Rocky road bars
Makes 16 bars
½ cup coconut oil
½ cup pure maple syrup
1/
3 cup plus 1 tbsp cacao powder
1 tbsp ˖ˢ˖ˢˡ˨˧Єˢ˨˥
1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
pinch sea salt
1 cup shredded coconut
¾ cup dried cranberries
½ cup raisins
½ cup hazelnuts
½ cup almonds
¼ cup hemp seeds

1. This simple rocky road chocolate
bar celebrates wholefoods and all the
sweet, earthy goodness they provide. I
love how versatile this recipe is. You
can easily swap any of the chunky
wholefoods with whatever you have in
your pantry. The numerous textural
components add a little crunch and a

touch of sweet chewiness, all
suspended in a dark, decadent
chocolate. It’s an on-the-go energising
chocolate fix.
2. Line a 20 x 28cm rectangular dish
with baking paper.
3. Heat a small saucepan over medium
heat. Add the coconut oil, maple
syrup, all of the cacao powder, the
coconut flour, vanilla and salt, then
stir until the coconut oil is melted and
the ingredients are combined. Remove
from the heat. Add the remaining
ingredients and stir to combine into a
thick mixture.
4. Tip the mixture into the prepared
dish, then spread out evenly. Freeze
for 1-2 hours to set.
5. To serve, remove from the dish and
slice into 16 bars. Store in a sealed
container in the fridge or freezer.

A rare rewarewa rosé

#foodnews

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ˢ˙˧˛˜˦˗˘˟˘˖˧˔˕˟˘˪˜ˡ˘ʟʹ˟ˢ˫Ϡ˦˩˜˕˥˔ˡ˧˧˥˔˗˘ˠ˔˥˞
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78 | Woman

The

MOTHER’S MIX

From Anika Moa to Dolly Parton,
Victoria Spence dives into a
musical exploration of ‘mother’
and creates a playlist of songs
that go straight to the heart.

Y

ou can go very deep when you start
examining the notion of motherhood, but
I’m not here to lay down a treatise on the
Cult of Domesticity or third-wave
feminism. Instead, let’s make a musical
exploration of “mother”, lending our ears to the
textures of verb, noun and social construct. This
month’s lovingly curated playlist mines the rich seam
that nourishes (if we’ve been lucky). With hanky
tucked in bra, we’ll traverse the emotional landscape
of coming home, coming out, birthing, ageing and
grieving. Some tracks I’ll hold forth on – others I’ll
leave you to discover for yourself.
Scanned the playlist’s QR code? After you.
To begin, we must grasp the nettle and deal with
that Kate Bush ugly-crying classic This Woman’s
Work. Unscientific polling puts this at the top of the
“songs about motherhood that get you in the feels”
list. I know I put in the hours in 1992, lying on the
dusty floor of our flat, swollen legs up the wall,
desperately trying to commune with my unborn child.
For the 1988 John Hughes movie She’s Having a Baby,
the burning Bush (as she was once described) had to
write it not just from a male perspective, but also
around previously filmed scenes. Take a moment if you
need to.
The Goddess is alive and magic is definitely afoot
when Chrissie Hynde gently implores “Let me inside
you . . .” on Hymn to Her. Littered with gynaecological
imagery and pagan references, it excited male music
critics who frothed about “the eternal feminine” (gag)
and “the spirit behind the Mists of Avalon” (eye roll).
It’s just a lovely song that always made me glad to have
a couple of X chromosomes. Similarly defying a
straight read is the Cocteau Twins’ For Phoebe Still a
Baby. It’s wafty nonsense, and you’ll need to google
the lyrics to understand a single word, but, oh, it’s
glorious.
Tracey Thorn (the “girl” half of Everything But The
Girl) has long been a musical spirit guide. She’s
actually a close friend but just doesn’t know it. Since
the early 1980s, she’s written about wanting babies,
having babies, the babies leaving home, contraception
and menopause. Her superb 2018 album Record gave
up (surprise!) Babies, a thrumming gem that totally
gets the full 3D experience of mothering “Lay your

Left: Country music
queen Dolly Parton
tells the story of
where she came from
in her song Coat of
Many Colors.
Right: Kate Bush’s
This Woman’s Work,
the ultimate ode to
motherhood, tugs at
the heartstrings
every time.

pretty head down, get the f**k to bed now.”
Aotearoa’s Anika Moa has used motherhood to
connect with a whole new audience – the babies of the
world. Her smashing Songs for Bubbas recordings are
not just for the kids – you can drop the metaphorical
needle anywhere on these albums and be very happy.
Her delicate reading of Hirini Melbourne’s Purea Nei
fills the heart.
Another wahine for whom motherhood has brought
a life change is Dame Hinewehi Mohi. Her daughter
Hineraukatauri’s startling response to music was the
inspiration to set up the Raukatauri Music Therapy
Centre in Tāmaki Makaurau in 2004. Hineraukatauri
lives with cerebral palsy and is named after the Māori
Goddess of Flutes – the sound of which is the ethereal
thread that runs through the song named for her.
A good son will pay tribute, such as the late Justin
Townes Earle did in Mama’s Eyes. Lefty Frizzell’s 1951
devotional Mom & Dad’s Waltz is beautifully rendered
by long-time fan Willie Nelson: “I’d fight in wars, do all
the chores, for my mama and daddy”. Swinging into
the early 2000s, the Elton-flavoured Take Your Mama
chronicles a boy coming out to his mother, based on
the Scissor Sisters’ lead singer Jake Shears’ personal
experience. A woman is always grateful for an excuse
to get “jacked up on some cheap champagne”, so come
at me with your revelations, kids.
My Mr and I are fond of nerdy musings and we’ve

Woman | 79

Left: Emmylou Harris
will leave you feeling
emotional with her
poignant song Calling
My Children Home.
Below: Motherhood
was transformational
for Dame Hinewehi
Mohi, who was
inspired by her
daughter to set up
the Raukatauri Music
Therapy Centre.

been trying to settle on the meaning of
Mott The Hoople’s I Wish I Was Your
Mother – a Dylan-esque heartbreaker in
THIS MONTH’S
which lead singer Ian Hunter (consensus
LOVINGLY
would have it) lays out all the ways in which
he is a terrible lover and generally
CURATED PLAYLIST
unworthy. It’s not surprising to hear Marty
MINES THE RICH
Duda, MTH super-fan, describe whole
audiences of grown men weeping along to
SEAM THAT
this song as the lyrics alone belie the deep
emotional well of the song. The night of the
NOURISHES (IF
Christchurch mosque killings, visiting
WE’VE BEEN
musician Alejandro Escovedo, empath to a
T, walked through the audience at
LUCKY).
Auckland’s Tuning Fork venue singing this
song to connect with his shaken audience.
Comfort can come from strange musical
origins – apparently born of a musing on
life and death, Mother and Child Reunion correctly
stays on the poignant side of maudlin. Freshly
released from Simon & Garfunkel and reggae-curious,
Paul Simon used Jimmy Cliff’s band for the music
track and the backing vocalists included Cissy
*Scan this code
Houston, mother of the mega-famous Whitney.
in the Spotify
Legend has it that at the time of its release, this was a
app to listen to
favourite of inmates in South African jails who, on the
the playlist
eve of an execution, would sing songs into the night. I
know, sorry.
Let’s finish by taking a tour through the Mom-and-

80 | Woman

apple-pie world of Americana, starting at the source
with Dolly Parton’s dirt-poor origin story Coat of
Many Colors. Then hit the back roads with the Be
Good Tanyas’ Draft Daughter’s Blues, a staple of
road-trip playlists when the women in our whānau are
on the hoof. The youngest would bellow out the order
from the back seat to “PLAY THE SHEEP LADIES!”.
Frazey Ford’s homespun vibrato is, erm, distinctive
– everyone’s a critic, but don’t let that put you off.
Head south to Lake Charles, Louisiana, to hear
Lucinda Williams’ heartbreak on Mama You Sweet.
Approaching spoken-word poetry, Lucinda lays out a
sensual invocation of her late mother bracketed in
lyrical washes of melody. If, like me, your kids have all
left home, then Emmylou Harris will have you on the
floor with her a cappella version of Calling My Children
Home, recorded live in Nashville’s hallowed Ryman
Auditorium, aptly referred to as the Mother Church of
Country Music. Of course, when the children do all
come home, the glow lasts about 48 hours and then
they revert to being horizontal teens, drinking all
the good gin and asking vile questions like, “What’s
for dinner?”
Music guides us through the rites of passage, from
childhood into the whirlwind of adolescence, through
love and heartbreak and then the lessons of
parenthood and old age. In these times of hormonal
and global brouhaha, a good song soothes the soul.
Hallelujah, and pass the HRT.

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BOOKS

pukapuka

The novel portrays a mother-daughter
relationship with brilliant and vivid intensity.
Do you have a child?

How old are you and how long have you
been writing?
I’m 48. I’ve always written, but for a long time I did it
around the edges of everything else in my life. I
travelled and lived in other places, worked all kinds of
jobs. I was an actor and theatre maker and I spent
years in Australia immersed in social justice and
environmental activism. Between my mid-20s and my
late 30s, I wrote a collection of stories and a novel for
children. The novel was better than the stories, but
neither was good enough to get published.
At 40, all I had to show for years of work was a
handful of stories in literary journals and some
freelance travel writing. Unsheltered had been growing
in my head for a while, but I was afraid of spending the
next decade on another book that would turn out to be
unpublishable. Around then, a friend suggested
applying to the MA in Creative Writing programme at
Te Pūtahi Tuhi Auaha o te Ao/The International
Institute of Modern Letters.

How hard was it to write this novel and what was
the process – did it take a long time?
There are whole layers of a book that happen before
you start to write it. Some of the things that fed
Unsheltered were hard. And the two-and-a-half years
of rewriting and trying to find an agent felt like a
wilderness at times. But the eight months I spent
writing the first draft at the IIML were some of the
most vivid and satisfying months of my life. I was
ready to write about big things that mattered to me,
and I wanted to do them justice, so I pushed myself
to imagine and inhabit every aspect of my story as
fully as I could. And for the first time, I experienced
the kind of imaginative leaps you can make when you
put writing at the centre of your life and immerse
yourself in it.

82 | Woman

Name a book you read as a child that got you.
The Neverending Story by Michael Ende. Epic, hugely
imaginative, morally complex. It’s a
story about storytelling. My
parents gave it to me for Christmas
when I was 10, and I lay under the
“I EXPERIENCED
tree and just mainlined it. I read it
THE KIND OF
over and over through my
childhood, teens and early 20s, and
IMAGINATIVE
every time, I worried that I was
going to wreck it or see through it
LEAPS YOU CAN
somehow. Then a few years ago, I
MAKE WHEN YOU read it to my own kid and, hearing it
out loud, I was struck by the
PUT WRITING AT
spareness of the descriptions – how
THE CENTRE OF
much space he’d left that I’d filled in
in my head. So I got something new
YOUR LIFE.”
from it: a lesson about the
imaginative act of reader meeting
writer.

Name a writer or two you admire.
Two very different writers I admire have debut
story collections out this year: Maria Samuela’s
Beats of the Pa’u and Anthony Lapwood’s Home
Theatre. Both books started life in our shared MA
year and it’s great to see them out in the light.
What was the last book you read that
affected you?
The book I’ve just finished, that still has me under its
spell, is Cal, by Bernard MacLaverty. It’s a love story
set in early-1980s Belfast and I first read it when I was
about the same age as the 19-year-old protagonist. A
conversation with a friend sent me back to my
bookshelf to see if it was as good as I remembered. It’s
better. Unbearably tender, alive to the conscience, it
builds and builds the tension between what people
long for and what the world will let them have. It made
me cry again, but for different reasons.

PHOTO: EBONY LAMB.

In her stunning debut novel
about the big things that
matter to her, Clare Moleta
has included aspects of her
own life as a mother – for
better or worse.

I do have a child – almost a teenager now – and there’s
a lot of her younger self in Matti. Other kids, too,
including me! For better or worse, there’s also a lot of
me as a mother. In a way, Unsheltered is a conversation
with myself about motherhood. The mythology and
expectations of it, pressed up against the messy,
self-doubting, intensely loving, constantly failing
experience. But it’s also a conversation about the
world our children will walk out into. About how to be a
parent if you’re losing faith in the future.

Notes to
Myself
Clare Moleta: “In a
way, Unsheltered
is a conversation
with myself about
motherhood.”

Woman | 83

The compelling story of a mother’s
lonely search for her lost child is a
fresh and brilliant debut, writes
Anne Kennedy.
Unsheltered
by Clare Moleta (Simon & Schuster/Scribner, $35)

E

very so often, a novel comes along that has
everything: a compelling narrative, a
beautifully calibrated voice, a story that
speaks fearlessly to our times, plus –
incredibly – it’s fresh from the keyboard of
a debut writer. Clare Moleta’s dystopian thriller-butliterary Unsheltered is such a novel. When considered
among other works in this genre, such as Cormac
McCarthy’s The Road, Charlotte Wood’s The Natural
Way of Things, and various Margaret Atwoods,
Unsheltered is without question their equal.
The story follows 30-something Li as she searches
for her lost eight-year-old daughter Matti across a
future Australia that isn’t so lucky anymore. A broken,
post-climate-disaster, it is in the grip of a military
coup, and at war with a neighbouring
country. While Unsheltered is invented,
never sure about motherhood, a doubt
and the techniques of literary suspense
cemented by Matti always preferring
are used with imagination and skill, the
her father. This topic is reminiscent of
IT SEEMS WE’RE
chilling thing is, in our world of climate
The Lost Daughter; it seems we’re okay
OKAY
NOW
WITH
change and creeping authoritarianism,
now with exploring flawed, or at least
it all feels possible. Moleta’s opening
self-doubting, mothers. When Li finds
EXPLORING
epigraph from The Grapes of Wrath
herself searching alone for Matti, the
FLAWED, OR AT
rings eerily true. And although
responsibility weighs heavily. But as
Unsheltered has a global message, it
with all the threads in Unsheltered, it’s
LEAST
SELFspeaks specifically to an Australia that
grist to the mill of the novel. Against a
stole a generation of Aboriginal
backdrop of catastrophe, Li’s honest,
DOUBTING,
children, imprisons refugees, and
textured interiority – her selfMOTHERS.
legislates profit before sustainability.
castigation, yet her fond reveries of her
Perhaps the most remarkable feat is
father who taught her bush craft, of her
the portrayal of Li. After Matti goes
loving partner Frank, of Matti’s
missing, Li believes she may have joined a group of
creative play – are poignant reminders that the present
children travelling east looking for “the best place”.
isn’t everything. Which, in turn, implies hope in a
That the family – including the absent husband, Frank
future. In the end, love is what forces Li on, but because
– is “unsheltered” is due to their refusal to sign Matti
she’s human, it’s complicated.
up for conscription at age 15. They therefore have no
Unsheltered is a novel of deeply felt and meaningful
rights; they are “undocumented”. Li embarks on a
contrasts: between the unrelenting landscape – which
cat-and-mouse search on a road that is dog-eat-dog,
Moleta describes with palpable precision – and the
where the necessities of life have become commodities
nuances of Li’s interior thought. Between a brutal
to fight and bargain for, where violence is the norm and regime and occasional acts of kindness that pop up like
the body a thing of transaction. Shelter means a prison
seedlings. Between Li’s trustworthy telling in a world
camp where flu is raging. Communication means rare
where nothing is dependable. Between fear of failure as
cell phone minutes to a Kafkaesque government
a parent and love for a child. Between weakness and
reunification programme. There is no such thing as
heroism, misery and happiness. These juxtapositions
trust. And Matti is just out of reach geographically,
are woven into a fine, unexpected, profound narrative.
psychologically, and metaphorically.
Moleta is unflinching in showing human frailty,
And yet, as Li progresses through dystopia and must stupidity, and at the same time, hope. Like other great
fight government, environment, and technology –
dystopian novels that portray societal breakdown in a
where blood-and-guts events are told with visceral
way non-fiction can’t quite approach – through the
clarity – her inner struggle is equally riveting. We learn
personal, the emotional – Unsheltered is to be read as
through exquisitely placed flashbacks that she was
fair warning.

84 | Woman

BOOKS

pukapuka

MOTHER’S DAY
A selection of great reads, ranging from historical novels and adventurous
memoirs to a ‘picture book’ for adults.
Notorious

The Bookseller at the End of the World

by Olivia Hayfield
(Hachette NZ, RRP
$34.99)

by Ruth Shaw (Allen &
Unwin, RRP $36.99)

˂˟˜˩˜˔ʻ˔ˬЃ˘˟˗ϝ
˔˟˦ˢ˞ˡˢ˪ˡ˔˦ˆ˨˘

ˊ˛˘ˡ˅˨˧˛ˆ˛˔˪˪˔˦
ʪʣʟ˦˛˘˗˘˖˜˗˘˗˧ˢ

ʶˢˣ˦˘ˬϝ˜˦˕˔˖˞
˪˜˧˛˔ˡˢ˧˛˘˥

ˢˣ˘ˡˇ˪ˢˊ˘˘
ʵˢˢ˞˦˛ˢˣ˦˜ˡ

˥˘˧˘˟˟˜ˡ˚ˢ˙ʸˡ˚˟˜˦˛

ˀ˔ˡ˔ˣˢ˨˥˜ʟʹ˜ˢ˥˗˟˔ˡ˗ʟ

˛˜˦˧ˢ˥ˬʡˇ˛˜˦˧˜ˠ˘˜˧Ϡ˦
˧˛˘˦˧ˢ˥ˬˢ˙˅˜˖˛˔˥˗
ʼʼʼʟ˥˘˖˔˦˧˔˦˧˛˘ˆˡˢ˪˙˔ˠ˜˟ˬϝ˥˜˦ˤ˨̻˔ˡ˗

˔˦˔Ϣ˙˨ˡ˥˘˧˜˥˘ˠ˘ˡ˧
ϟ˛ˢ˕˕ˬϠϣʡʻ˘˥ˠ˘ˠˢ˜˥
˕˨˥˦˧˦˪˜˧˛˔˗˩˘ˡ˧˨˥˘

˗˥˜ˣˣ˜ˡ˚˪˜˧˛˚˟˜˧˭ˬ˚˟˔ˠˢ˨˥ʡNotorious˜˦˔
˙˨ˡˣ˔˚˘ʠ˧˨˥ˡ˘˥˙ˢ˥˙˔ˡ˦ˢ˙˥ˢˠ˔ˡ˖˘˔ˡ˗
˛˜˦˧ˢ˥˜˖˔˟ˡˢ˩˘˟˦ʡ

ϝ˦˔˜˟˜ˡ˚˧˛˘˪ˢ˥˟˗ʟ
˪ˢ˥˞˜ˡ˚˪˜˧˛˔˗˗˜˖˧˦
˜ˡʾ˜ˡ˚˦ʶ˥ˢ˦˦ϝ˔ˡ˗
˛˘˥˔ˠ˔˭˜ˡ˚˟ˢ˩˘˦˧ˢ˥ˬ
˪˜˧˛˛˨˦˕˔ˡ˗ʿ˔ˡ˖˘ʡ
ʴ˕˘˔˨˧˜˙˨˟˛˔˥˗˖ˢ˩˘˥
˕ˢˢ˞˪˜˧˛˖˨˧˘
˘ˡ˗ˣ˔ˣ˘˥˦ʟ˜˧˘˫ˣ˟ˢ˥˘˦
˧˛˘˚˟ˢ˥˜˘˦˔ˡ˗
˦˔˗ˡ˘˦˦ˢ˙˔˟˜˙˘
˥˜˖˛˟ˬ˟˜˩˘˗ʡ

Bordering on
Miraculous
by Lynley Edmeades
and Saskia Leek
(Massey University
Press, RRP $45)
ˇ˛˘˙ˢ˨˥˧˛˕ˢˢ˞˜ˡ˧˛˘
˞Ώ˥˘˥ˢ˦˘˥˜˘˦ˢ˙
Ϣˣ˜˖˧˨˥˘˕ˢˢ˞˦˙ˢ˥
˔˗˨˟˧˦ϣʟ˘˗˜˧˘˗˕ˬ
ʿ˟ˢˬ˗ʽˢˡ˘˦ʟBordering on Miraculous˜˦˔
˚ˢ˥˚˘ˢ˨˦˖ˢ˟˟˔˕ˢ˥˔˧˜ˢˡ˕˘˧˪˘˘ˡˣˢ˘˧˔ˡ˗
ˣ˔˜ˡ˧˘˥ʡˇ˛˘ˠ˘˗˜˧˔˧˜ˢˡ˦˔ˡ˗˕˥˜˚˛˧
˜˟˟˨˦˧˥˔˧˜ˢˡ˦ˠ˔˞˘˧˛˜˦˕ˢˢ˞˔˦˘˥˜ˢ˨˦ˬ˘˧
˦˪˘˘˧˧˥˘˔˧ʡ

The Leonard
Girls
by Deborah
Challinor
(HarperCollins NZ,
RRP $36.99)

Raiment
by Jan Kemp
(Massey University
Press, RRP $35)

How to Loiter
in a Turf War
by Jessica Hansell
aka Coco Solid
(Penguin Books,
RRP $28)

ˇ˛˘Ѓˡ˔˟˕ˢˢ˞˜ˡ˧˛˘
Ϣ˅˘˦˧˟˘˦˦ˌ˘˔˥˦ϣ
˦˘˥˜˘˦ʟThe Leonard
Girls ˙ˢ˟˟ˢ˪˦˦˜˦˧˘˥˦
˅ˢ˪˜˘˔ˡ˗ʽˢ
˧˛˥ˢ˨˚˛˧˛˘˗˥˔ˠ˔ˢ˙˧˛˘ˉ˜˘˧ˡ˔ˠˊ˔˥
ϝ˔˖ˢˡЄ˜˖˧˧˛˔˧˖˛˔˟˟˘ˡ˚˘˦˧˛˘˜˥ˣˢ˟˜˧˜˖˔˟
˕˘˟˜˘˙˦˔ˡ˗˙˔ˠ˜˟ˬ˕ˢˡ˗˦ʡˇ˛˘˥˘Ϡ˦˟ˢ˩˘˔ˡ˗
˦ˢ˥˥ˢ˪ʟ˔ˡ˗˚˥˘˔˧ˡˢ˦˧˔˟˚˜˖ˠ˨˦˜˖ʭ
˕˘˦˧˦˘˟˟˜ˡ˚ˁ˘˪ˍ˘˔˟˔ˡ˗˔˨˧˛ˢ˥ʷ˘˕ˢ˥˔˛

RaimentϠ˦ˠ˘˟˟ˢ˪
˖ˢ˩˘˥˦˘˧˦˧˛˘
˦˖˘ˡ˘ʭʤʬʪʣ˦ˁ˘˪
ˍ˘˔˟˔ˡ˗ʟ˔ˬˢ˨ˡ˚
˪ˢˠ˔ˡʡʾ˘ˠˣϠ˦
ˠ˘ˠˢ˜˥˜˦˔
˩˨˟ˡ˘˥˔˕˟˘
˘˫ˣ˟ˢ˥˔˧˜ˢˡˢ˙˛˘˥˖˛˜˟˗˛ˢˢ˗˜ˡˀˢ˥˥˜ˡ˦˩˜˟˟˘
˔ˡ˗˨ˡ˜˩˘˥˦˜˧ˬ˟˜˙˘˜ˡʴ˨˖˞˟˔ˡ˗ϝ˔˪ˢ˥˟˗ˢ˙
˦˘˫˔ˡ˗˗˥˨˚˦ʡ˄˨˜˘˧ˣ˥ˢ˦˘˕˘˟˜˘˦˧˛˘
˖ˢˡ˧˘ˡ˧ʭ˧˛˜˦˜˦˔˦˧ˢ˥ˬ˪˜˧˛˦˘˔˥˜ˡ˚˧˥˨˧˛˦
˔˕ˢ˨˧˨ˡ˖ˢˡ˩˘ˡ˧˜ˢˡ˔˟ˠ˔˥˥˜˔˚˘ʟ˔˕ˢ˥˧˜ˢˡʟ

ˀ˨˦˜˖˜˔ˡʟ˔˥˧˜˦˧
˔ˡ˗˪˥˜˧˘˥
ʽ˘˦˦˜˖˔Ϣʶˢ˖ˢ
ˆˢ˟˜˗ϣʻ˔ˡ˦˘˟˟Ϡ˦
ˡ˘˪ˡˢ˩˘˟˜˦
˔˕ˢ˨˧˧˛˥˘˘˙˥˜˘ˡ˗˦ˡ˔˩˜˚˔˧˜ˡ˚˟˜˙˘˜ˡ
ˇ͓ˠ˔˞˜ˀ˔˞˔˨˥˔˨ʡʼ˧Ϡ˦˕˟˜˦˧˘˥˜ˡ˚˟ˬ˧˜˚˛˧ʟ˔
˦˪˜˥˟˜ˡ˚˔ˡ˗˚˘ˡ˥˘ʠ˗˘˙ˬ˜ˡ˚˦˧ˢ˥ˬʡʿ˔ˡ˔
ʿˢˣ˘˦˜˖˔˟˟˦˜˧Ϣˣ˔˜ˡ˙˨˟˟ˬˣ˘˥˖˘ˣ˧˜˩˘ʟ
˙˔ˠ˜˟˜˔˥˔ˡ˗˛ˢˣ˘˙˨˟ϣʡʼ˧Ϡ˦˔˙˥˘˦˛˔ˡ˗

ʶ˛˔˟˟˜ˡˢ˥Ϡ˦˟˔˧˘˦˧ˡˢ˩˘˟˜˦˜ˠˣ˘˖˖˔˕˟ˬ
˥˘˦˘˔˥˖˛˘˗ʡ

˔ˡ˗˧˛˘ˢˡ˟ˬ˧˛˜ˡ˚ˡˢˢˡ˘˖ˢ˨˟˗˧˔˞˘˙˥ˢˠ
˛˘˥ʭˣˢ˘˧˥ˬʡ

˘˫˖˜˧˜ˡ˚ˡ˘˪˪ˢ˥˞˙˥ˢˠˢˡ˘ˢ˙ʴˢ˧˘˔˥ˢ˔Ϡ˦
˕˥˜˚˛˧˘˦˧˖˥˘˔˧˜˩˘˦ʡ

Woman | 85

Find out more at
www.penguin.co.nz

Harbouring
by Jenny Pattrick
RHNZ Black Swan (Penguin)
RRP $36.
When I was 13, my highschool social studies teacher
got us to write “empathy
paragraphs”. Our task:
imagine you are a settler
heading to New Zealand.
Why are you leaving? What
are you leaving behind? What
are you thinking and feeling?
What are your hopes and
fears about this country and
your new life?
Jenny Pattrick’s
Harbouring, set in Te Upoko
o te Ika, circa 1840, takes on
this same challenge, “to
imagine the lives of those at the bottom of the heap
at that time – both Māori and Pākehā”. The novel
starts with Huw Pengellin, a poor Welsh foundry
worker given a golden-ticket opportunity by a man
in a pub: secure enough muskets, fish hooks and
other sundries to purchase what will become
Wellington, then accompany them to a new life.
Narrative focus and voice then shift to Martha,
Huw’s down-to-earth wife, the yin to his dreaming,
faerie-loving yang, before the triangle is completed
by Hineroa, a Muaūpoko woman living in servitude
as a Ngāti Toa mōkai. As they strive to escape their
old lives and build new ones, they become
intertwined in a warm, encompassing tale.
Before my class wrote the empathy paragraphs,
our teacher crossed out “New Zealand” and wrote
“America”, because “New Zealand’s not that
interesting” and “we don’t want you upsetting
anyone”. He concluded, “You don’t want to write
about it and I don’t want to read about it.” Our
stories seem paradoxically too important and too
insignificant to be given a storybook treatment, our
colonial history too distant to feel real and too
present to be able to enjoy fantasies of the past; it’s
too serious to be taken seriously as fiction.
We did our best to imagine ourselves in the lives
of other people, in other times and other places,
based on things we thought we knew. When we
received our work back, a red pen told us we didn’t
know what we were talking about. Pattrick has
confessed that assuming the voice of a pre-colonial
Māori person “has been a challenge – which I have
somewhat nervously embraced”. Harbouring
attempts to step into and understand the lives of
others, to see connections above differences and
invites us to do the same. Its aim is empathy, and it
extends it even to Gareth, the novel’s bogeyman. I
hope readers can do the same: “A dream perhaps . . .
But in this country one can dream.”

TEXT: ALEXA HILL

Please do read it
just because you
caaaan...

#book of the month

Dolly Parton’s
#1 bestseller!

BOOKS

pukapuka

T

he first line on the back of the memoir
Prague in My Bones tells us that author
Jindra Tichý is one of the most influential
Czechs living abroad. The academic,
writer and author of 19 novels has been
living in Dunedin for the past 35 years. How she got to
be here and what she has been doing is the subject of a
frank and fascinating book.
It’s true that in 2012, she was voted the 11th
most influential Czech expatriate by the
Czech public, but her influence has not been
“ONE OF THE BEST
by way of any present-day social media. When
we talk by phone the line gets too difficult and
DISCOVERIES
we resort to emailing questions. Her first
email arrives back: “I just sent you the
OF MY LIFE HAS
answers to your nice letter. I hope the
BEEN THE
computer delivered it. I have a new computer
and sometimes it is disobedient and swallows
KINDNESS OF NEW
my letters.”
ZEALANDERS.”
A world-class philosopher and author,
Jindra (pronounced “Yindra”) was forced to
leave her beloved Prague 35 years ago. The
book traces a remarkable life as a central
European intellectual involved in the heady
politics of in the 1960s, the invasion of Russia in the
spring of ’68 and the choices she made as an academic
and mother.
Among the many compelling passages in the book,
there is one in which the determined Jindra sits down
in a library just after arriving in England and begins to
translate Jane Austen line-by-line in order to improve
her English. She marvels at the “truths” the 19th
century novelist could say and draws a parallel to
Tolstoy and the way he too was able to use his work to
reveal the underbelly and corruption in Russia.
Truth is something that is central to her book.
Everything is laid bare with a frank honesty; her
relationships, her friendships, the unconventional
approach to monogamy that was de rigueur in
Czechoslovakia when she was first married; the
obstacles she faced as a woman in the largely maledominated field of academia.
Jindra says that like Ukraine before the invasion,
Czechoslovakia was a prosperous and peaceful
Prague in my
country. She arrived in New Zealand on September 14,
Bones:
A Memoir
1970. Her husband, Pavet Tichý, was hired by the
by ©Jindra Tichý,
University of Otago as Professor in the department of
Quentin Wilson
Publishing, RRP $45.
Philosophy. Jindra had been a university lecturer at

Charles University in Prague but it took a little longer
before she was able to work in her profession here in
the Department of Political Studies in Otago.
“I loved Dunedin from the first second I arrived here
and one of the best discoveries of my life has been the
kindness of New Zealanders,” she says, repeating what
the Prime Minister has recently behoved the nation to
keep doing.
“There was plenty of food available of the best
quality and I did not have to spend every day in long
queues for food like I had in Prague.”
But best of all, she says, she could tell her students
the truth about the communist regime in
Czechoslovakia. Jindra was considered a counterrevolutionary in Prague and fled an arrest which
would have seen her sentenced to years in a labour
camp and all her property confiscated. Though she
has lived in all the major cities of the world her heart is
still with Prague. “I love and miss her in winter, spring,
autumn and summer. When her parks are full of
flowers and when she is covered and sparkling in snow
but I certainly do not miss the tyrannical, murderous
regime of Mr. Brezhnev who is now born again in the
guise of Mr Putin of the Ukraine.”

Getting down to
the bones of it
Susanna Andrew talks to Jindra Tichý about her new book and the city she loves.
Woman | 87

In the following extract from her book Prague in my Bones: A Memoir, Jindra
Tichý details the moment she found out the Russians had invaded Prague.

A

Summer at Jistebnik

ugust in 1968 was a wonderfully warm
and sunny month in the whole country.
My mother asked me to organise a
holiday trip to the little country cottage
I had bought with her money. As I said
before, the cottage was located 50 kilometres from the
Austrian border.
The countryside there was really beautiful. The
house, a former small farmhouse, stood on the edge of
an ancient forest on the banks of the Vltava River. The
forest had a magic lure for me. It provided wild
mushrooms, and hazelnuts and wild strawberries,
raspberries, blueberries and blackberries in summer,
pinecones and dry wood to burn in the stove in winter.
Fruit that grows wild in the forest tastes much
better than fruit grown in the garden. My excellent
grandmother taught me from an early age that to
gather this fruit – a gift of nature – was one of the most
rewarding activities. It was fresh, free, readily
available without queueing in the socialist shops and,
properly cooked, it provided jams and preserves –
truly delicious.
She never mentioned the other unique benefits of
harvesting wild fruit. These I discovered much later,
by myself: it was a panacea, it provided relief from
stress that was better than any drugs. Even nowadays,
when I suffer from anxiety I go to places around
Dunedin where I know I will find wild mushrooms and
blackberries.
My mother was happy that Pavel did not travel with
us. She did not like him and he did not like her. So I
deliberately organised the visit to Jistebnik in his
absence. I travelled with my son Peter. My mother also
invited Aunt Helen and her son Karlik to visit with us.
None of us was aware of the real situation on our
border. We knew that Dubček was negotiating with
Brezhnev, but he kept issuing statements that the
political situation was under control; the talk about
invasion was just scaremongering by the foreign press.
At last he issued a proclamation that he had managed
to persuade Brezhnev that there was no danger of a
counter-revolution in Czechoslovakia. They reached a
seemingly cordial agreement, and our fraternal ties
with the Warsaw Pact allies were re-established. I was
reassured that we would be safe in South Bohemia.
My mother and Helen were fans of the aristocracy.
Their favourite pastime was to visit old castles and
splendid chateaux built by the Czech and Austrian
aristocracy and now owned by the Czech government.
South Bohemia was particularly rich in these little
gems of architecture. I wanted to make my mother and
Helen happy, so for Tuesday, August 20, I planned a
trip to the charming old town of Třebon on the shore
of the largest of the freshwater ponds.
Třebon was famous for its restaurants: they knew how
to cook freshwater fish such as carp and pike to

88 | Woman

Soviet troops march
through Prague in
September 1968, after
invading the city to
stop the momentum
of the democratic
reforms instituted
during the “Prague
Spring.” After the
invasion, a permanent
Soviet presence
was established
in Czechoslovakia
to prevent further
reforms.

perfection. There was also a very beautiful castle nearby.
Before the communist rule the castle had belonged to an
ancient aristocratic family, the Schwarzenbergs. My
great-grandfather was an architect for the
Schwarzenberg family and had built them a monumental
funeral chapel. We all wanted to see the chapel.
That Tuesday was a beautiful hot day. Even after
forty-six years I still remember every detail of that day
vividly. It was the last time I was happy in my
homeland. I spent it with my son and with the two
people who, next to my husband, were closest to my
heart – my mother and my aunt Helen.
None of my family owned a car back then – we were
too poor to purchase one – so we caught the bus to
Třebon. We enjoyed the ride through villages with
ancient baroque farmhouses and churches. We had a
sumptuous lunch in the best restaurant in Třebon:
fish soup with homemade sourdough bread, fried carp

and potato salad, washed down with beer from the
400-year-old Třebon brewery. For dessert we ordered
a local speciality: strawberry dumplings swimming in
butter, covered in sugar and excellent cottage cheese.
We enjoyed the meal all the more because we did not
really have a proper kitchen in Jistebnik and had to
cook our meals outside, on an improvised barbecue.
After lunch we visited the funeral chapel of the
Schwarzenbergs nearby. It did not disappoint. My
great-grandfather was a master builder, and a family
legend. He had an architecture degree from the Czech
Technical University in Prague, which is one of the
oldest institutes of technology in Central Europe.
I could not have known then that his genes were
firmly embedded in our family gene pool: his spirit
resurfaced in 1971 in my daughter Veronica, who later
graduated from Auckland University School of
Architecture.
After our trip to Třebon, which we all enjoyed, we
returned to Jistebnik on the last bus in the evening. As
we walked home along the banks of the Vltava, I admired
the beautiful sunset over the Šumava mountains. I was
so glad I had discovered this unspoiled and peaceful
corner of our country, and I promised myself that I
would remain true to it for the rest of my life.
Our neighbour, Mr Šaleb, was sitting in his garden
drinking beer with his friends. He had a little present
for us – a rainbow trout that he had caught in the
Vltava that evening. He was a very competent
fisherman but he did not like eating fish! We were
grateful for this present and planned a feast for

tomorrow’s lunch.
I was very tired; I went to bed and
HE SHOUTED AT
immediately fell into a deep sleep.
I was awoken by a racket: somebody was
ME, DESPERATION
banging furiously at the door. Light streamed
into my room through the window. I realised
IN HIS VOICE. ‘THE
that it was early morning: the clock showed
RUSSIANS ARE
4.45am. I quickly went and opened the door.
Mr Šaleb was standing there, still in his
OCCUPYING US,’ HE
pyjamas, dishevelled and unshaven. He
SAID, AND POINTED
shouted at me, desperation in his voice. “The
Russians are occupying us,” he said, and
ACROSS THE RIVER.
pointed across the river to the road on the
other side.
Mr Šaleb was a very phlegmatic man. I had
never seen him in a state of frenzy like this
before. He led a quiet life; his main pastimes were fishing
and gathering mushrooms. When he was still young he
had injured his leg, and he had to take care as the wound
had never healed. He never worked but collected a
disability pension. My friend Zdišek, who visited us
often, agreed with me that Mr Šaleb had the best, most
relaxed way of life of all our acquaintances. But today he
was not quite in control of his feelings.
I looked where he was pointing and saw a long row of
vehicles moving slowly on the road toward the border
with Austria.
At first I couldn’t make out what kind of vehicles I
was looking at. They were larger than ordinary trucks.
“Can’t you see,” shouted Mr Šaleb, “it is tanks – at
least a hundred, maybe more.”

Woman | 89

I was still half asleep and did not quite understand
why he was so agitated. There were some units of the
Czech army stationed in nearby villages. “What makes
you think they are Russian?” I asked.
“I’ve been listening to the radio broadcast,” he told
me. “They are warning all citizens that the Russians
and some other units of Warsaw Pact armies crossed
our borders at midnight and are occupying us. There
is no Czech authority in charge; the Russians have
arrested Dubček and the whole government and taken
them all to Moscow. They are doing as they like. They
are killing people in Prague.”
We learnt from the radio, which was broadcasting
clandestinely from some secret location, that on the
night of August 20 at least 300,000 troops had
invaded the Czechoslovak Socialist Republic.
Before the government was taken to Moscow, it
managed to make a proclamation that the invasion
was a fierce and unprecedented use of force against
Czechoslovakia by its supposed allies; and that no
Czechoslovak authority had asked for so-called
fraternal help, as claimed by the Soviets.
The country was in total chaos. The radio said that
the Czech army had been ordered to stay in their
barracks. The police were nowhere to be seen. There
was no Czech authority to protect the citizens against
the violence of the foreign armies. The whole country
was paralysed – no buses or trains were running; the
post offices had stopped working; nobody was
organising the delivery of food supplies to the shops.
I did not have a radio. Mr Šaleb magnanimously
brought his small transistor radio to my house and we
both listened to it. It was never properly revealed how
this illegal broadcast had come about. Who had
organised it, and how? It was the only source of
information for the whole nation about what was going
on. It connected people with each other.
I realised that Pavel was due to return from Bulgaria

90 | Woman

in several days. We did not have a
telephone at home in Prague; we had
put in a request for it several years
“THE RUSSIANS
earlier and we were still waiting to be
HAVE ARRESTED
connected to the network. The waiting
period for a telephone connection was
DUBČEK . . . THEY
several years. (Ironically, our request was
granted in 1970, by which time we had
ARE DOING AS
already emigrated to England.)
THEY LIKE. THEY
Since the post offices in the whole
ARE KILLING PEOPLE country were not functioning, it was
impossible to send a telegram. I worried
IN PRAGUE.”
about how I could let Pavel know where we
were. I did not know whether he would be
able to return to Prague at all, given the
situation at the borders.
I kept watching the slow progress of the invading
tanks. They were the only vehicles on what was usually a
very busy road, with German and Austrian tourist
traffic streaming to Český Krumlov, a popular tourist
destination. The guns on the tanks were at the moment
turned in the right direction, towards the Austrian
border. But I knew that within a few seconds they could
be turned in the opposite direction, towards our
cottage, and could terminate its 200-year-old
existence. If they felt like it, they could also terminate
our fragile lives. There was nothing to stop them. I and
the whole of my country were defenceless.
I experienced a fit of panic at this thought. Little
Peter was sleeping peacefully in the room next door,
and I felt unable to protect him. I still remember those
few seconds of absolute terror. It was a good lesson; it
put right the false feeling of happiness and safety I had
experienced the previous day. I was a fool. I should
have known that no Czech citizen was ever safe in their
own country in the middle of Europe.
At this moment I knew that I wanted to move away,
as far away as possible from the Russians and the

PHOTOS: GETTY, SUPPLIED.

Scenes from the
war-torn streets
of Prague in
1968, after Russia
invaded.

communists; if need be I would go to the very end of
the world.
Although I had studied the philosophy of Thomas
Hobbes, I was an indifferent observer of his ideas. It
never occurred to me that his famous theory of the
state of nature, which precedes the establishment of
civilised society, had any relevance to my own life. But
the view of the Warsaw Pact tanks moving so calmly in
the vicinity of my summer house in Jistebnik made me
realise that this was not an obscure 400-year-old
theory but the stark reality of Czechoslovakia on a
lovely summer morning on August 21, 1968. At that
moment I was living in a state of nature in a country
where there was no law and no authority to enforce it;
where the invading forces were free to kill, to steal, to
rape and never be punished for any of their deeds.
This was a lesson I never forgot or forgave.
I was afraid to wake up my mother and Helen – but
they woke when they heard the radio. They both
surprised me by their calm. My mother said that this
invasion was no surprise; she had expected it
immediately after the Warsaw Pact armies had
started their Danube manoeuvres.
I realised that both my mother and Helen had lived in a
state of nature before: as children they had experienced
the First World War, the famine, the flight from war-torn
Prague. They had lived through the Munich crisis, the
Second World War, through Nazi occupation, and the
German massacre of civilians in Prague in May 1945.
Helen, always mindful of our welfare and an
excellent cook, went to the storeroom to inspect our
food supplies. Fortunately we possessed a good supply
of tinned food and a whole sack of potatoes. This was
the result of a habit, in most Czech households, of

hoarding basic food items – tea, sugar, cans of meat –
in case of some catastrophe that could strike at any
time without warning. Helen estimated that our
supply of tins could last a whole month. But we had not
stored any flour, because of the mice; there was very
little bread, and no milk for Peter.
My cousin Karlik then proposed that he and I try to
reach the nearest town, Větřni, about 10 kilometres
away, to buy some bread and milk and find out whether
the buses and trains were running.
If at all possible I wanted to return to Prague and
see what was happening there. Naturally I was very
worried about Pavel.
Karlik and I were ready to go out when our nerves
were severely tested. On the road to our cottage a big
military truck suddenly appeared, marked with a
white cross: the white cross that appeared on all
invasion vehicles. We stood in the doorway of our
house, paralysed by fear, not knowing what the
soldiers wanted from us. It was obvious that they could
take from us whatever they wanted: they could line us
all up in front of the house and shoot us. But the
vehicle did not stop; it continued on to the next village.
We wanted to stay at home, but Mr Šaleb informed
us that our settlement was safe for the moment. The
river patrol boat had come to inform us that one
Russian tank had tried to cross the only river bridge
nearby. The bridge was quite flimsy, and under the
weight of the tank it had collapsed and ended up in the
river, together with the tank. From now on our
settlement could be reached only by foot.
We decided to walk to Větřní through a path in the
forest, where we would be safe from tanks and
armoured vehicles.

Woman | 91

SPORT

hākinakina

HIGH PROFILE
‘HOSTAGE’

Sports Columnist
RIKKI SWANNELL

92 | Woman

When an Olympic medal-winning basketball star is detained in a
Russian jail, why is silence seen as the best way to get her out?

PHOTOS: GETTY.

B

rittney Griner is a rock star of the sports
world: dreadlocks, tattoos, some level of
controversy, one heck of a basketball
player, a two-time Olympic gold medallist
and a six-time WNBA All-Star. Her name is
probably only familiar to the most hardcore Kiwi
sports fans, those who avidly follow American sports
or keep tabs on high-profile female athletes from
around the world.
But it may have started to slip into your
consciousness in recent weeks. As we have watched
horror and despair unfold in Ukraine, sport is
continuing to play a small but not insignificant role in
global affairs, and Griner is increasingly in the thick of
it all while she sits in a Moscow jail.
In the US off season, many top female basketball
players play in countries such as Russia, China and
Turkey, where they can earn 10 times as much as
their WNBA salary, which is about $60,000 for a
new player, or about one percent of what their male
counterparts earn.
In February, Griner landed in Moscow for a Russian
contract, but she was detained for allegedly having a
small amount of cannabis oil in a vape. She’s been held
in custody since, only recently being allowed a visit
from US consular staff, and there are reports she
won’t get a hearing until May. The charge carries a
sentence of up to 10 years’ jail time, and her friends,
family, teammates and the WNBA have been told
staying quiet is the best way to help get her released.
Griner was detained on February 19, but her
situation came to light only in the days after Russia
invaded Ukraine. Throw in the fact that she is gay and
black, and Griner has become a perfect political pawn.
The other name you may have heard a lot recently is
Roman Abramovich, the “is he, isn’t he” bestie of
Russian president Vladimir Putin and owner of
Chelsea Football Club, one of the most successful
teams in the world. The UK government has imposed
sanctions on Abramovich and other Russian oligarchs
believed to be aiding Putin, resulting in Chelsea FC
being put up for sale and leaving fans, who’ve enjoyed
the success brought about by Abramovich’s rubles,
in despair.
The term “sportswashing” has become an
increasingly regular refrain. Shady businessmen and
dodgy regimes use the power and goodwill of sport to
cleanse their reputations and cover up the realities of
who and what they are.
Too often, of late, sports bodies and some athletes
have been complicit. Witness the scene of
International Olympic Committee president Thomas
Bach and his praise of Chinese president Xi Jinping
during the Beijing Winter Games while Putin sat just a
few seats away. FIFA, football’s governing body, having
hosted one recent World Cup in Russia, will stage its
next men’s event in Qatar.
Top golfer Phil Mickelson received widespread
condemnation when he admitted to wanting to use a
Saudi-backed league to leverage more money from the

PGA. In doing so, he pulled out this clanger: “We know
they killed [Washington Post reporter and US resident
Jamal] Khashoggi and have a horrible record on
human rights. They execute people over there for
being gay,” Mickelson said. “Knowing all of this, why
would I even consider it? Because this is a once-in-alifetime opportunity to reshape how the PGA Tour
operates.” Don’t even get me started
on Novak Djokovic.
Some of the leaders in the highest
A YOUNG, GAY reaches of sport are putting other
athletes, including some very young
FOOTBALLER MAY ones, in near-impossible positions
because they’ve fallen prey to greed,
HAVE TO CHOOSE power and politics. They have rules
BETWEEN FULFILLING that stop athletes from speaking out or
protesting during events, yet athletes
A WORLD CUP DREAM have no say in where competitions are
AND STAYING SILENT held. A young, gay footballer may have
to choose between fulfilling a World
ABOUT WHO HE IS. Cup dream or staying silent about who
he is, because FIFA bigwigs will stage
their tournament in a country where
homosexuality is illegal.
But we’re also starting to see
athletes and some codes push back,
and social media has given sports stars
huge platforms to express their
opinions and use their profiles to fight
strongly for causes. Since the time
when LeBron James was told to “shut
up and dribble” and when Colin
Kaepernick took a knee, followed
swiftly by Megan Rapinoe, we have seen
the rise of the athlete activists who
have found their voices in a range of
areas: Black Lives Matter, gender
equality, climate change, LGBTQ+
rights and many more causes. The
governing body for women’s tennis, the
WTA, pulled its tournaments out of
China in the wake of the ongoing
mystery of missing player Peng Shuai, while Tennis
Australia was forced into a U-turn when it tried to ban
fans at the Australian Open from wearing T-shirts
asking “Where is Peng Shuai?” As supporters of sport,
we have a role, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
Above: AntiIt used to be said sport and politics don’t or
Springbok tour
protesters at the FMG
shouldn’t mix, but in reality the two are as intertwined
Stadium Waikato,
as any other part of society. Some of us remember the
formerly Rugby Park,
outcry in 1968 when Tommie Smith and John Carlos
in 1981.
Left: Chicago Sky
raised black-gloved fists on the Olympic podium in
players Candace
Mexico City or the division caused here during the 1981
Parker, #3, and
Springbok tour. Politics bathes itself in sport; it’s
Stefanie Dolson, #31,
defend against the
there when fans still chant Abramovich’s name, and
Phoenix Mercury’s
it’s there in Griner’s plight.
Brittney Griner
Sport needs to take the power back, but for many,
during a game at the
Footprint Center in
that will mean cleaning up their own houses first.
Arizona last October.
Perhaps in that case, the athletes themselves are the
only hope.

Woman | 93

GARDENING

mahi māra

FALLING

TREES

I

“Imagine if trees gave off
Wi-Fi signals. We would be
planting so many trees, we
would probably save the
planet, too. Too bad they only
produce the oxygen we
breathe.”
– SOCIAL MEDIA MEME

did not have “hit by cyclone” on my personal
bingo card of climate change risk. Rising sea
levels, flooding, mini-tornado (we get a few of
those in our area), slips, droughts – I had mentally
considered all those scenarios.
Indeed, we made the decision two years ago to drop
the one big tree that could fall on our house and pretty
much demolish it. It was a handsome Abies procera
“Glauca”, also known as the blue noble fir, planted by
my late father-in-law about 70 years ago. We were sad
to see it go, but it seemed a wise precaution.
It seemed an even wiser decision when we took a
direct hit from Cyclone Dovi in mid-February. As
massive trees crashed down around us, we could at
least take comfort from the thought the Abies was not
going to fall on us as we sheltered indoors.
When Cyclone Bola hit parts of Taranaki and then
the East Coast in 1988, it largely bypassed our little
corner of the countryside. The winds were strong, but
nothing too far out of the ordinary. New Zealand is a
windy country and we are used to that, but there
hadn’t been any cyclones in our area in the intervening
34 years, which is why I hadn’t put it on my mental
bingo card.
I garden on a fairly expansive scale, with my
husband, Mark. The property has been handed down
the generations of his family since 1870, so we know
who planted which trees and when. Some of the trees
are now 150 years old, planted by Thomas Jury, and we
know the old pine trees are pretty much at the end of
their life. They are not helped by the fact that Thomas’
son, Bertrum Jury, topped them at about 10m high in
the early years of last century. It didn’t stop the pines
from growing, and the tallest are now up to 45m, but
with a weak point where Bertrum cut them. Some have
snapped off at that point, whereas others have
uprooted entirely and fallen.
Why, you may wonder, do we not bite the bullet and
get all the pines felled? It is just too big a job. We can’t
get heavy machinery into that part of the property
and it would probably have to be done by a massive
logging helicopter. We are not in that financial league
and, where those trees are, when they fall, it is only
our property that gets damaged, so they are not a risk
to others.
Besides, we can cope when big trees fall one at a
time. We are used to that and can go in and do an
efficient and speedy clean-up. Losing several at once,
as we did with Cyclone Dovi, was rather different. It
wasn’t just the damage from falling pine trees; we also
lost a giant gum (eucalyptus) at our road entrance that
was 150 years old, and Mark had tears in his eyes when
he found another Abies – a baby at just 70 years old,

Gardening
ABBIE JURY

Left: At 150 years
old, our massive old
Pinus radiata trees
are weighed down
with epiphytes and
nearing the end
of their life. Above
left: We dropped
the large Abies
two years ago as
a precautionary
move lest it fall on
the house, and when
Dovi hit, we were very
glad of that.

Woman | 95

but one of our most handsome trees –
uprooted in the park and lying over our
WITHIN A YEAR, WE
high bridge. Those were just the largest
trees. There were smaller trees and
CAN HAVE THOSE
branches down everywhere.
FALLEN TRUNKS
Mark and I went into shock for the first
two days, paralysed by the scale of the
NESTLED INTO THE
clean-up task that lay ahead. Fortunately,
GARDEN WITH
most of it was garden damage, not
structural damage, and we have good
PLANTS THRIVING ON
people around us. It did not look as
overwhelming once we eventually got
AND AROUND THEM
power and running water restored and the
AND THEY CAN
most urgent areas were being cleared. A
fair number of homes in our local town of
GENTLY DECAY OVER
Waitara will be heated by firewood and
THE YEARS.
pine cones after I offered both for free on a
local Facebook page.
When big trees fall, our approach is now
tried and true. Attempting to remove the
fallen tree in its entirety would cause huge amounts of
additional damage to the area and add considerable
expense. We go in and remove all the debris, the
foliage and side branches on the tree. We will cut
through the trunk where it is blocking paths or access,
but we leave the main length lying where it fell.
I use “we” in the royal sense. I do not chainsaw and I
would not like to mislead with a mental image of me in
work boots and earmuffs wielding a noisy chainsaw.
My strengths lie more in the lighter aspects of
cleaning up and reinstating gardens around the
remaining trunks.
Within a year, we can have those fallen trunks
nestled into the garden with plants thriving on and
around them and they can gently decay over the years.
Instant, unplanned stumperies, one could say, or a
pragmatic gardening solution.
The conundrum is that we know one of the ways to
mitigate climate change is to plant many trees. Big
trees. Long-lived trees. A dwarf apple or maple is not
going to contribute to saving the world. But with
climate change, we know we will get more extreme
weather events that can bring those big trees down.
labels – these are often conjured out of thin air to
Power companies and linesmen are not tree lovers.
make the tree seem less threatening to the customer
I can understand why when I saw trees on three roads
or, at best, are what might be expected in the short to
around us bring down lines in the cyclone. I was
mid-term. If space is limited, consider narrow,
relieved that none of them were our trees. It is a fine
columnar trees that give height and grace without
line to tread. We monitor our trees that could
spreading or casting much shade. Trees that stay
endanger power lines or buildings and have already
From top: Circles of
felled some that we deemed too risky.
ˣ˜ˡ˘˧˥˨ˡ˞ˡˢ˪˗˘Ѓˡ˘ lower often spread widely instead, taking up much
the edges of a path;
more space without giving stature in a garden.
The answers seem to be: plant trees, lots of trees if
these two pine trees
Think long-term. Some trees can live hundreds of
you have space, not just for future generations and to
fell eight or nine years
years. While a tree can achieve some size in 20 years,
help the planet, but also for the pleasure of watching
ago and we left the
main
lengths
where
they are not mature – not by a long shot. From about
them grow. But choose the spots carefully so that they
they lay, gardening
40 years on, you can start to claim you have mature
have a chance of reaching maturity without
around them and
trees. Trees are generally low maintenance, but that
threatening power lines or buildings and without
allowing epiphytes
to
establish
as
they
does not mean no maintenance.
casting unwanted shade on either your house or those
gently decay.
We will be keeping a closer eye on our higher-risk
of your neighbours.
trees after Cyclone Dovi.
Don’t believe the heights given on commercial plant

96 | Woman

We cut back the
fallen pine on the
left to clear the path.
It will eventually
collapse, but in the
meantime it perches
like a giant lizard.
Below: The belladonna
˟˜˟˜˘˦Єˢ˪˘˥˘˗ˢˡʟ
unperturbed by the
fallen gum tree.
I measured the
diameter of the
tree and the main
section was two
metres across.

Into the light
Discovering the intensity of New Zealand’s natural colours
as a child was a life-changing experience for Anna Evans.
98 | Woman

W

hen 11-year-old Anna Evans woke
up in a motel room on the edge of
Takapuna Beach on her first
morning in Aotearoa, she was
dazzled by the vivid colours of sea
and sky. It was an influential moment that has gone
on to inform her work as an adult artist.
“It was nothing short of a spiritual experience,”
she says. “An intense explosion of orange, reds,
purples and pinks set behind a stunning row of
palms and Norfolk pines (back then I called them
‘pineapple and Lego trees’).”
The contrast between the northern hemisphere
light she and her parents left behind when they
emigrated and this bright new world left a lasting
impression on Anna, whose landscape paintings are
imbued with the interaction of sunrise and sunset.
“I remember wondering in the initial months of
moving to New Zealand if it was all just a dream.
Would I wake up from this colour-saturated land into
the dull-toned greyness of Northern Manchester?
The sky here seemed unnaturally blue, and the sea
actual turquoise. There were greens I had never
noticed before, adorned by trees that came in
shapes my young brain thought impossible.”
Anna spent hours as
a child copying scenes
from her Marvel comic
collection, which she
“I REMEMBER
would then swap for
WONDERING IN
tuck-shop treats at
school.

THE INITIAL
MONTHS OF

Her biggest creative journey, though, happened in
high school, under the influence and encouragement
of artist and teacher Matt Elwood, who steered her
towards a fine arts degree.
At Elam School of Fine Arts at the University of
Auckland, she found herself in pretty good company,
with peers Judy Millar, Peter Robinson and Michael
Parekōwhai, and Don Binney as one of her lecturers.
During her time there, she began to see the world of
art in new and exciting ways and to question her
work and explore creatively.
Anna’s landscapes and birds have a dreamlike
surrealism, which she credits to the way in which her
first impressions of Aotearoa were formed.
When Anna was asked by Woman to be our
featured Resene artist, she chose a landscape that
meant something to her. The Oruaiti is the name of
the awa that runs near her home and could be
described as her tūrangawaewae.
“Two years ago when I went into labour with my
son, this is the view I had as I leaned against the
ponga trees for support in and out of my
contractions.”
The painting took about 70 to 75 hours to
complete, although she admits it’s quite difficult to
give a precise time. One of the reasons she loves
using Resene acrylics is their fast drying time, which
allows her to keep her flow.
Anna’s painting will be auctioned off via Trade Me on
May 11 to raise money for Paint New Zealand Beautiful,

Resene Biloba Flower

Resene Unicorn

Resene Wonderland

Resene Twilight

Resene Ballerina

Resene Princess

Resene Romantic

Resene Sandy Beach

Resene Neutral Bay

Resene Half Innocence

Resene Dark Slate

Resene Chelsea Cucumber

Resene Caper

supported by Resene, to help beautify our communities
with painting projects.

Resene Permanent Green

Resene Midnight Moss

MOVING TO
NEW ZEALAND
IF IT WAS ALL

Resene Olive Green

Resene Cabbage Pont

JUST A DREAM.”
Resene Paddock

Resene Marshland

Resene Dell

Resene Kombi

Resene Kabul

Resene Tom Thumb

Resene Jaguar

Left: Gaiatree
Sanctuary is located
on Taveuni and
is considered the
“Garden Island” of
Fiji. Below: Six Senses
Alchemy bar.

ISLAND TIME
It’s near impossible to feel blue in Fiji, but you’re sure to see a lot of it.

100 | Woman

TRAVEL

haere

D

reaming of a romantic getaway, an
action-packed escape, family fun or
five-star R&R? Fiji’s 333 tropical
islands, each one a palm tree-dotted
paradise with endless white-sand
beaches and coral-fringed lagoons, are ready to
welcome Kiwis back.
Add year-round balmy weather, a short flight and
that world-famous Bula spirit and you’ve got the
perfect holiday destination. There’s so much to get
stuck into when you land on Fiji’s soil, so we’ve gone
the extra mile to help you with the ultimate five-day
itinerary in the place where happiness can’t help but
find you.

x

DAY 1 Resort life
x

Whether you’re stationed by your private pool in an
adults-only resort such as Malolo Island’s Likuliku
Lagoon Resort, Fiji, or at a large, lagoon-style pool
with options for all ages such as the one you’ll find at
Sofitel Fiji Resort & Spa, commit to a day of unwinding
and making the most of your resort’s included, usually
non-motorised water sports.
If you’re looking for the ultimate wellness
destination, check out Malolo Island’s Six Senses Fiji, a
spot that invites you to reconnect and reinvigorate
your senses. As a guest, you’re offered a personalised
wellness programme that involves customised meal
plans, sleep schedules and meditation sessions.
The five-star luxury resort has private pool villas,
insane residences and five unique dining experiences
that all take a cleaner, simpler approach to their food.
With their own onsite herb and vegetable garden,
Cluckingham Palace – a spot to collect fresh eggs –
and a dock-to-dine approach, sourcing fish from local
fisherman, produce doesn’t get much fresher.
If you’re a bit more adventurous, drop the kids off at
their famous kids’ club, Grow with Six Senses, while
you spend the day paddleboarding, enjoying a
front-row show of some of the world’s best underwater
marine life, hanging loose at the locals’ favourite
surfing spot, Cloudbreak, or simply working your way
down the cocktail list poolside.
x

DAY 2 Take a spin on the water
x

Make like an ostentatious Duran Duran video and
explore Fiji’s spectacular palm-fringed islands and
crystal-clear waters aboard a luxury catamaran.
For those who fancy a day trip, Big Blue Fiji (sailing

Woman | 101

from Port Denarau) takes in the highlights of the
Mamanuca Islands – an experience that includes
water sports and a beautifully prepared barbecue
lunch. Fancy a multi-day sail? Quixotic Charters
Fiji, a fast, blue-water sailing catamaran has got
your number, featuring four staterooms as well as
the opportunity to customise your itinerary.
If you’re looking for a bit of luxury come sunset,
Captain Cook Cruises offers a Sunset Dinner
Cruise. On board one of Fiji’s most prestigious
charter vessels and one of the largest sailing
catamarans in the southern hemisphere, you can
sit back, relax with a glass of bubbles and a tropical
buffet and take in the spectacular views.
x

DAY 3 Spa day (or night)
x

Nothing screams relaxation more than a day at the
spa. If it’s a Fiji spa, then you’ve got a recipe for
absolute bliss. Luckily for you, Fiji offers more spas
than you could possibly get to, but you could
definitely give it a good crack.
If you’re staying at Six Senses Fiji, they offer
holistic wellness, rejuvenation and beauty
treatments that go beyond the ordinary. If you
want to relieve tension, give their deep tissue
massage a try, or you’re after full personalisation,
opt for their holistic massage. If you want to target
stubborn cellulite, their detox massage will do the
trick, or for other more targeted options, try the
tension soother, relaxed feet and head massages.
Or casually wave away any suggestions of
hour-long treatments and book yourself into
Shangri-La Yanuca Island for their ultimate “Dusk
till Dawn” overnight spa and sleep package. An
Ocean Bure Spa Suite has fresh, locally sourced
fruits and produce and a variety of treatments.

FIJI’S LARGEST
RESTAURANT,
WHICH CAN
SEAT 322
GUESTS AT
ANY TIME, IS A
FESTIVAL OF
THE SENSES.

x

Left: Enjoy a multisensory experience at
Gaiatree Sanctuary.
Below: Six Senses
Alchemy bar. Above:
Shangri-La Yanuca
Island’s “Dusk till Dawn”
overnight spa is highly
recommended.
Above right: Relax at
a beachfront pool.

102 | Woman

DAY 4 A day dedicated to feasting
x

Something not commonly known about Fiji is the
incredible “feast of the senses” experience. From
beachfront dining to hidden gastropubs and classic
food trucks, Fiji has a multitude of dining experiences
worth trying.
The newest dining option is Island 619 at Sheraton
Fiji Golf & Beach Resort. Fiji’s largest restaurant,
which can seat 322 guests at any time, is a festival of
the senses. With five live cooking stations all equipped
with a specialist chef, you’ll be able to get whatever
you’re craving.
Based in both Nadi and Suva, Kanu by Lance Seeto
delivers a contemporary dining experience using
natural ingredients and traditional techniques. Chef
Lance Seeto has submerged himself in the Pacific way
of life, history and communities for the past decade.
His cuisine is a fusion of flavours and a reflection of his
travels and experiences.
Gaiatree Sanctuary, located on Taveuni, considered
the “Garden Island” of Fiji, is abundant with fresh
produce. Known as an organic spice plantation, day
club and nectar lab, Gaiatree Sanctuary takes guests
on a multi-sensory experience with tropical, locally
grown delicacies.

PHOTOS: GETTY AND SUPPLIED.

x

DAY 5 Island hopping
x

Above: A plunge into
one of the Tovoro
waterfalls will leave
you feeling refreshed.
Left: Before you
leave, enjoy one last
cocktail by the pool.

Before it’s time to say goodbye to the
happiest place on Earth, dedicate the
day to checking out some of Fiji’s most
iconic islands.
Monuriki Island is home to the set of
2001 Oscar-nominated film Castaway.
Surrounded by an unscathed reef, the
untouched volcanic island is only 1km long
and 600m wide and is covered in rugged
rock faces and lush foliage.
Malamala Beach Club is the world’s first island
beach club, and just a 25-minute boat ride from Port
Denarau. Once you arrive, you can park up on a daybed
with a cocktail in hand, take a dip in their picturesque
infinity pool with a cracked coconut or indulge in some
Asian and Pacific-inspired à la carte delicacies.
Bouma National Park on Taveuni Island is home to
the well-known Tavoro Waterfalls, three pristine falls
surrounded by lush jungle. You can plunge into the
largest waterfall, just a 10-minute walk from the
entrance, or pack your walking shoes and embark on a
three-hour return hike to pass all three falls. When
you get to the third, you’ll be greeted by hundreds
of prawns.
What better way to end your holiday in a tropical
paradise than by enjoying one last downtime session
back by your resort’s pool? Don’t forget to shell out for
an elaborate cocktail; after a week of relaxing, you
deserve it.

Woman | 103

Financial Advisor
ANGELA MEYER

Your financial
best friend
It’s high time we empower each other to strengthen our financial
wellbeing, writes Angela Meyer.

104 | Woman

ILLUSTRATION: GETTY.

T

here are 140,000 more women in
don’t have the headspace to make a study of EFTs,
Aotearoa than men. That’s the
investment funds, retirement savings or ask for a pay
equivalent of a city the size of
rise? Mums on average have only 10 minutes of me
Tauranga. Imagine if we were treated
time a day – and that includes going to the loo!
not as niche or a special-interest
In any case, at the moment, a wedge of cheese
group, but as the majority? What
currently costs almost as much as a house with a
would our society look and feel like?
garden, drive-on access and a letterbox made of gold.
In my wildest fantasy, sexism, racism and
We are just getting by.
capitalism no longer exist. In
Women are sick of
my not-so-wild fantasy, we
the fresh-baked hell of
have equal access to financial
economic stress, financial
wellbeing to grow our wealth
abuse and negotiating all
CONSTANT ECONOMIC
and to feel supported and
the obstacles they and
STRESS NEGATIVELY AFFECTS gender-diverse people
empowered.
I suspect this might be a
face: from the gender gap
OUR
PREFRONTAL
CORTEX.
fantasy for a fair few of us.
in retirement savings, to a
The 2020 Financial
lack of pay equity and pay
IT’S LIKE HAVING A BLOCK OF
Capability Barometer Survey,
equality, the pink tax, the
CONCRETE
WEDGED
INTO
run monthly through 2020 by
motherhood gap and the
the Commission for Financial
childcare gap.
THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD.
Capability, showed one in
It is exhausting. And
five New Zealanders had
there is also a pandemic
relationship problems with
going on.
partners, family or close friends due to financial
The women of Aotearoa are saying in Facebook
concerns. Conflicts of this nature correlated with a
groups, conversations at the school gates, over Zoom
lack of long-term financial planning, a propensity to
calls, in the loos at work: “We are totally, utterly
spend rather than save, and reluctance to discuss
exhausted. We need to get this concrete out of our
money.
heads to be able to live our full, joyful lives without
Constant economic stress negatively affects our
worrying constantly about money, so yeah, how about
prefrontal cortex. It’s like having a block of concrete
a bit of support and respect? How about some time to
wedged into the top of your head. As a result, it’s
actually think about this stuff?”
really, really hard to make any decisions, including
Let’s get our BFFs to be our FBFs – Financial Best
those that will relieve that stress, like prioritising
Friends.
long-term financial planning. About as close as you
Let’s get the women in our lives together, let’s
can get to fantasy as Mariah Carey.
normalise talking about money. As a starter, let’s
Sound familiar?
give these six steps a crack. Inspirational speakers
But is it any wonder the women of Aotearoa
optional. Wine most likely necessary.

FINANCE

tahua

XKnow where you are at x

XKnow it’s surmountable x

Take stock of what you’ve got. You may want to get a
glass of wine for this one and put any sense of shame
back in the box. Look objectively at your situation.
Where are your credit cards at? How much have you
got in your KiwiSaver? Everyday accounts? Savings?
Remember they are numbers, not judgements.

This is a game changer – when I was
moonlighting as a backup dancer for a drag
performer in London, living on peanuts and red
wine and sleeping on a foam mattress in a mate’s
lounge, I had no idea you could negotiate with
creditors, take payment holidays, and ask for
help in many places – without shame. Do it.
Remember, we are not a niche, we are the
majority, and if we need some help, we will ask
for it.

XKnow your everyday x
What are you spending your money on? How are
you managing your debts? What is the interest
rate on your debts? How much are you spending on
treats versus essentials? For the record, you get to
choose what treats and essentials are. Maybe a gym
subscription is an essential for you but for your friend,
it’s a treat. It doesn’t matter – your budget, your
choice. Make a plan to pay off the riskiest debts first,
while making sure you protect your essentials. Again,
these are numbers, not judgements.

XKnow what you want x
What does financial wellbeing feel and look like for
you? What does security mean to you? How about
freedom? Take a moment to set your goals and ask
yourself what you want retirement to be like – if vision
boards work for you, get amongst it. Likewise, a sea of
Post-it Notes.

XKnow you’re secure x

It’s time to get
a grip and stop
wondering about
the future. By
normalising
˗˜˦˖˨˦˦˜ˡ˚Ѓˡ˔ˡ˖˘˦
with friends,
we’ll collectively
improve our
Ѓˡ˔ˡ˖˜˔˟˪˘˟˟˕˘˜ˡ˚
and our overall
mental health.

Prioritise creating your “F*ck off Fund” to deal
with emergencies or if you need to leave a bad
relationship or job. I kick-started mine by going
through my closet and selling a bunch of things
on Trade Me.
The goal is to have at least three months’
worth to cover all the basic expenses such as
rent, groceries, electricity, phone – and
cheese.

XKnow you’re doing your bestt
Say it with me now. Starting your financial
wellbeing journey is better than not starting.
Your FBFs are here for you.

Woman | 105

ASTRO-GUIDE

mātai whetū

Astro woman
Astrologer Colleen Coffey has
surveyed the skies and has some
intel for the month ahead.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
Taurus Ingress April 20, 2022, 2.24pm NZT
The sun moves into the fixed Earth sign Taurus. Those
born under the sign of the Bull are practical, fiercely
loyal, and just a little stubborn. Ruled by the planet
Venus, the Roman goddess of love and beauty,
Taureans are said to be born with an inherent
understanding of beauty and art.

Many happy returns, Taurus Woman. Venus, bright
and high in the predawn sky, ushers you into a
birthday month that is rich in opportunity, with a
touch of excitement and little or no interference from
restrictive influences. The period from April 22 to
May 5 sees Venus connect with the expansive influence
of Jupiter and the mystical magic of Neptune in
super-intuitive Pisces. Look beyond your practical
“go-to” mode, and dip into your more aesthetic side. It
may be something as simple as reconnecting with a
lost love of theatre or art, or perhaps indulging in
forgotten creative culinary skills. If you are already
involved in an artistic field, at work or home, use this
time as a creative reboot. On May 5, the sun meets up
with Uranus. It may be disruptive, but it can clarify a
new direction. The full moon on May 16 highlights the
special people or a special person in your life while also
bringing structure and grounding to a somewhat
heady, but pleasant birthday month.

106 | Woman

So, you like variety? Then you will love this
month, because it is a doozy! Your twinkle-toed
ruler Mercury starts the month in solid,
dependable Taurus, but with a connection to chaotic Uranus,
things might not go as planned. On April 22, Mercury forms a link
with empowering Pluto. This puts power and drive into your
arsenal, giving you an edge, but there is no need to push your
advantage. On April 30, Mercury moves into its home sign of
Gemini, bringing 10 days of happy motoring. Finish the
unfinished, because on May 10, when Mercury turns retrograde,
unfinished tasks can unravel and plans will change as Mercury
retraces its steps. On May 16, the full moon brings challenges, but
also much-needed structure as a variable month draws to a close.

Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
Despite some underlying agitation, the Taurus
solar month is a comfortable one for you. The
third quarter moon on April 23 in
argumentative Aquarius could be taxing with emotional Pluto in
the mix, but don’t engage. If you let it pass, it will dissipate quickly
when the moon moves through super-tolerant Pisces. The new
moon on May 1 is both challenging and exciting and highlights
your friends and associates. The prompt is to experience
something that takes you out of your comfort zone, a moment best
done with friends. The first quarter moon on May 9 brings an
energy spike that heralds a busy week. Saturn, master of control,
goes centre stage at the full moon on May 16, bringing structure
and a sense of purpose as the solar month draws to a close.

Leo

(Jul 23 - Aug 22)

Lots of good, cooperative vibes are around you.
The sun sits high in your career sector, with the
emphasis on leadership – there is nothing you
like better. Pluto (power) and Mars (drive) are on your side, but for
the first week, watch for undercurrents or power plays, and listen
to others before, rather than after the fact. On April 27, Pluto’s
influence fades and unpredictable and brilliant Uranus joins with
your sun until May 16. Expect disruptions, even change that could
turn plans on their head, but go with it and be innovative. Around
May 7, a sense of order and purpose will establish as Saturn, the
planet of organisation, sidles into the mix. With help from Mars
(action) and Neptune (imagination), things that were a challenge
will now be easily completed. The full moon on May 16 will bring a
sense of completion to a taxing but exhilarating month.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
Your sights are set on knowledge gathering or
following an ethical perspective about issues
dear to you. With your ruler Mercury in Taurus,
you may feel stymied in spite of brilliant thoughts courtesy of
innovative Uranus. Hold those thoughts, as things are changing.
April 30 sees Mercury flick into Gemini – a better place for open
dialogue – followed on May 1 by the new moon, a reset of intentions
and a reboot of your interest. Push plans ahead as you have
planetary support from many quarters. Mercury turns
retrograde on May 10 and there will be changes, so don’t sign the
contract. Tread water and be flexible. Stability will come with the
full moon on May 16, but the changeable “weather” will last.

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
A very congenial month. Your ruler Venus is
gliding through gentle Pisces with no
impediment. The focus is on your daily routine
and personal well-being. In the first half of the solar month, Venus
travels with benevolent Jupiter and imaginative Neptune. Venus
and Jupiter together can only be favourable, and when you add in
Neptune, it’s almost magic: time to concentrate on beauty, a love
of art and/or music or creating beautiful things. On May 3, Venus
moves into fiery Aries, so the ambience will be less passive and
more ardent. Life may speed up a little, but it is still relatively
laid-back. The new moon on May 1 and the full moon on May 16 tap
into the only cautionary note for the month: watch how you spend
money, because with these vibes, it would be easy to overindulge.

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22)
If previous months have been tedious, then the
Taurus solar month is superbly passive. The
focus is home-based and on all that grounds
you. Your ancient ruler, Mars, all action and drive, is in gentle
Pisces, connected to the Taurus sun, so you will forge ahead but
without your usual ardent passion. You have time to smell the
roses. April 28 sees Uranus join the mix, which could be
disruptive, but also liberating, bringing the opportunity to try
new and different things. The new moon on May 1 falls in your
sector of partnership, and with Uranus still in the mix, it’s an ideal
time for invigoration. The full moon on May 16 has stabilising
Saturn caught between the sun and the moon. This is intense, but
will bring much-needed balance, plus vision for the way forward.

Sagittarius

(Nov 23 - Dec 21)

The hallmark for the Taurus solar month is
consistency. Your philosophical ruler Jupiter,
together with imaginative Neptune, glides
through the tolerant sign of Pisces for the entire month. This is a
superb time for ideas and fantasy, but your ideas may not get
much traction until May 10, when action planet Mars joins the
mix. April 23 sees Venus, the goddess of love, join with Jupiter.
This combination in Pisces happens only every 12 years – it is
extremely lucky in a “love and money” way. Buy a Lotto ticket if
you wish, but, more importantly, make love the focus. Sharing
with those who matter most, especially family, is paramount. The
new moon on May 1 highlights work-related routine and it’s time
to reboot neglected or outmoded plans. The full moon on May 16
will ground you after a heady month.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
The solar Taurus month is a comfortable place
as you relate to the practical, Earthy tones and
appreciate the vibe of consolidation rather
than the need for constant change and updates. Your stoic ruler
Saturn is focused on things of value rather than idealistic dreams.
With an argumentative connection between Saturn and Mercury,
the planet of communication, it’s best to be prudent and keep
your opinions to yourself, until the aspect eases around May 2.
The new moon on May 1 falls into the sector of kids, creativity and
fun. Reboot spontaneous things you enjoy and bring innovation
back to your daily life. The full moon on May 16 brings in friends
and associates, as a need for fun trumps your need for structure.

Aquarius

(Jan 20 - Feb 18)

There’s a bumpy start to the month as you are
caught between an old and a new order. It could
be a new job or new systems in the old one.
Saturn, your traditional ruler, is at odds with Mercury, the planet
of rational thinking and communication, and this may rattle you.
Work through it and don’t argue. Keeping your own counsel will
serve you better. After May 2, there will be clarity as Uranus, your
unconventional modern ruler, travels with the sun for a good part
of the month. Don’t be surprised if doors open. The new moon on
May 1 highlights home life, with Uranus still firmly in the mix. It’s
time for some original thought, which may be about the house – or
the people in it. The full moon on May 16 brings structure and a
reminder to keep an eye on work-life balance.

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
You have a full house! With your rulers, ancient
Jupiter and modern Neptune, plus the prime
planets of relating and relationships, Venus
and Mars, basking in your sign, your cup runs over with good
vibes. This is special, and love is spread around the whole zodiac.
But it can also be draining and confusing. Mars in Pisces activates
internally rather than externally, so don’t expect great bursts of
energy. Instead, concentrate on an introspective journey and/or
spiritual growth. Venus is exalted in your sign, and it will bring
love and beauty. Add Jupiter and Neptune, and it’s a brilliant mix
for any art (or craft) or aesthetic pursuit. The full moon on May 16
creates a sense of structure and a way for you to balance your
subjective or personal world with your public or objective world.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
A great month for quiet and catching up out of
the public eye. Mars, your usually feisty ruler, is
subdued in the calming waters of Pisces, so
don’t expect record-breaking action. Instead, use the time to
catch up on things left unfinished. On May 1, the new moon taps
into the all-important sector of personal finance. Some
consolidation here before the pressure builds again would
probably be in order. The mood will change on May 3 when Venus
moves into your sign, bringing more direct focus on you and
taking you closer to the driver’s seat. On May 8, Mars meets up
with mystical Neptune, and although it’s not an activating aspect,
it will certainly hone your perception and awareness, and fit well
with an already cruisy month. Enjoy it, Aries, as cruisy months
don’t come your way often.

Woman | 107

#mindgames

Hexagon Word
ˈ˦˘˧˛˘˖˟˨˘˦˧ˢЃ˟˟˜ˡ˧˛˘˦ˣ˔˖˘˦˜ˡ˧˛˘ˡ˨ˠ˕˘˥˘˗
hexagons. Each answer runs clockwise but can
start anywhere in the shape. Where hexagons

ACROSS
1 Pantyhose or socks
6 Concubines

107 Pimply condition
109 Climb down rope
110 Sacred book

touch, they have the same letter. We’ve given
you a word to start with. The letters in the white

10
14

Assailed (3,2)
Drone’s home

111 Bird enclosure
112 Magician’s hey ...!

hexagon reveal a mystery word.

18
19

Detested
Door section

114 Innate
116 Blenders

1

B

6

A

B
A

5

20 Satirical show

118 Arena

21 Actress, ... Monroe
22 Relaxed

121 Iran’s former name
123 From Lone Star state

23 Communion table
24 Bout of housework

127 Distinct
129 Servery window

25 Be thrifty
26 Winged predator

131 Sanctuary
133 Outspoken

G

27 Outward appearance
28 Printed (text)

136 Squirms
137 Lavender shade

3

30 Warms

138 Witches’ meeting

32 Formally withdraw
35 Awaited with horror
39 Procure

139 Card game
140 Raze
141 Fraudster

42 Titbit
46 US naval rank
48 East African country
49 Great anger
50 Spare cash for
51 Sleeveless garment
53 Eject
55 Rain heavily
57 Boot reinforcer
58 Observe
60 Take in (nutrients)
61 Capture
63 Musty
64 ˈˆˆ˅Ϡ˦Ѓ˥˦˧ˣ˥˘ˠ˜˘˥
65 Ninny
66 Red salad tuber
70 Paradoxical
73 Pocket
74 Alcoves
75 Terminated
76 Cougars
77 Applications
78 That girl’s
79 Hearing-impaired
80 Ceases
81 Comedian, ... Murphy
83 Beef dish, steak ...
85 Washtubs
86 Legal standing
88 Sequence
91 V-shaped cut
93 Weak spots
95 Straighten
97 Stare lustfully at
98 Equivalent (2,1,3)
99 Moral crime

142
143
144
145
146

100 Personally
101 Debauched party
103 Petty (gossip)

45 Denude (3,4)
47 Lead-in
52 Freed from slavery

B
2

G

L
E

4

CLUES
1 Commotion
2 Jabber
3 Horse pace

4 Placard
5 Excavator
6 Mismanage

Anagram Square
Rearrange the letters in each row to
form a word. Write your answers into the
˕˟˔ˡ˞˚˥˜˗ʡˇ˛˘Ѓ˥˦˧˟˘˧˧˘˥˙˥ˢˠ˘˔˖˛˪ˢ˥˗ʟ
reading down, will spell a mystery word.

1
2
3
4
5
1
2
3
4
5

108 | Woman

Big Crossword

F
H
S
R
B

O
U
O
E
A

P
R
I
W
L

O
G
S
G
L

R
O
A
A
E

Weaklings
“Green” cars
Random chance
Animal skins
Forty winks

DOWN
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
28
29
30
31
33
34
36
37
38
40
41
43
44

Reproductive gland
Frigidity
Actor, ... Ifans
Union Army combatant
Boat’s wheel
Adjust
Fencing blade
Lady’s title
Shut tight
Model, ... Macpherson
Spoken tests
Roman emperor
Sandcastle mould
ʸ˟˘˖˧˥˜˖Ѓ˦˛
Skies
Cellar
Kitten’s dad
Judges
Brahma follower
Parody (4,2)
Crockery noise
Cul-de-sac (4,3)
Quarrels
Kindle (interest)
˅˘Є˘˖˧˘˗˦ˢ˨ˡ˗
Clown
Form of exercise
Metal pin
Artist, Pablo ...

PUZZLES

panga

1

3

2

4

5

6

7

8

18

12

13

14

15

16

23
26

27
30

33

32

35

34

37

49

40

46

66

67

61

73

70

81

79

82

83

85

84

87

86

72
76

78

80

89

88
93

92

104

105

109

110

90

94

95

99

98

97

71

75

74
77

101

106

107

118

117

111

119

130

115

121

131

132

144

143

84
86
87
89
90
92
94
96
97

133

127

January 1 (3,4)
Footwear carton
Non-professional
Check off one by one
Hunting expeditions
Mediterranean tree
Lilo (3,3)
Writer, Germaine ...
Commercial production

102 Up ahead
104 Ancient language
105 Border upon

128

135

134

138

139
142

141

140

122

126

137

136

71 More eccentric
72 Stupid (remark)
82 Resistant to wear

120

125
129

102

108

114

124

Special provision
Guiding
Conches
Stuffed quilt
Fastening
Resource
Fabric insert
Contains
Concepts

96

100

113
116

62

65

69

68

54

60

59

64

103

47

50

58

57

31

41

53

63

112

39

52

56

91

38
45

48
51

36

44

43

42

17

24

29

28

54
56
58
59
62
67
68
69
70

11

20

22
25

123

10

19

21

55

9

145

106
108
113
115
117
119
120
122
124

146

Boyfriend
Disbeliever
Brighter
Ship’s stabiliser
Rubs out
Geronimo’s tribe
Frozen polar cover
Responds to stimulus
Premature

129
130
131
132
134
135

Gripped
Musical symbol
Chop roughly
Message
Obligation
Flay

125 Freeze
126 Prevent (disaster)
128 Appropriately

Woman | 109

Cryptic Crossword
1

2

3

4

5

8

6

7

14 Brilliance of wild IRA dance (8)
15 Safeguards families’ coats-of-arms (7)
17 Initially Captain leaves cars and takes lane back to

9

10

armoury (7)
20 Native deity loses heart in traditional Christmas scene (8)

11

12

13

15

22 Depraved United Nations holly left out (6)
23 Cod recoils when upset by reptiles you should never
smile at (10)

14

16

24 Have a go at Billy (4)
25ˆ˔˩˔˚˘Ѓ˥˘˦˧˜˥˥˘˗˨ˣ˜ˡ˙˥ˢˡ˧ˢ˙ʶ˛˨˥˖˛ˢ˙ʸˡ˚˟˔ˡ˗ʛʩʜ
17

26 Listen to patients with calm perseverance (8)

18

DOWN

19
20

21

1  ʵ˜˥˗˔ˡ˗˕˔˧˚˘˧Ѓ˥˦˧˛ˢ˨˦˘˪˜˧˛˚˔˥˗˘ˡ˪˔˧˘˥˙˘˔˧˨˥˘ʛʫʜ

22

23

2 It’s all right for Kay to support nothing (4)
3 Beggar to get you into paper (6)
4 Rested about primary supplier of last meal course (7)

24

25

5 Foolishly lend Cara a list of dates (8)
6ʵ˔ˡ˚˟˔˗˘ʲˆ˛ʔʼ˧Ϡ˦ˣ˔˥˧ˢ˙ˆˢ˨˧˛ʸ˔˦˧ʴ˦˜˔ʛʤʣʜ
7 ʶ˟ˢˡ˘ʸ˥˜˖˧ˢ˥˘ˠˢ˩˘ˢˡ˘ˠ˔ˡˢ˙˧˛˘˖˟ˢ˧˛ʛʩʜ

26

ACROSS
8
9
10
11
12

Steal title and get pet one? (8)
Sahara blessed heartland suitable for crops (6)
Campaign launch for 500 Romans during sunlight hours (1-3)
Pass greens cooked by travellers on trains or buses (10)
Saw Sir mention a cup holder (6)

13 Somehow direct car to centre of Sudan for a component
of the cashless society (6,4)
16 Cold wind lessens inside and gradually fades away (8)
18 ʶ˔˜ˡ˔ˡ˗ʸ˟˟˔˚˘˧ˠ˜˫˘˗˨ˣ˜ˡˣˢ˟˜˧˜˖˔˟˨ˡ˜ˢˡʛʫʜ
19 ʸ˫˧˥˔˧˘˥˥˘˦˧˥˜˔˟˟˘˔˩˘˦˖ˬ˖˟˘˧ˢˣ˦˙ˢ˥ˠˬ˧˛˜˖˔˟ˢˡ˘ʠ˘ˬ˘˗
creature (7)
21 Ida far out and very scared (6)
22 Sets up back to front and sends topsy-turvy (6)
24 Scottish Celt breaks a leg (4)

Star Burst
Hit, --Heartache
Actor,
--- Brynner

Annie
actress,
Cameron
---

The Queen’s
Sylvia --Thriller,
--- City

Taylor
Lautner’s
Twilight role,
--- Black

G.I. Joe:
The Rise
Of Cobra’s --Miller

Drama,
The --Of The Day

Actor,
--- Jackson
Infected
cut
Actress,
--- Thurman
Disney
mermaid
Tennis great,
Jerry
Denzel
Arthur --Seinfeld
animated
Catch Me If Washington’s
You --- The Book --- comedy
American
Beauty star,
--- Birch

Avatar’s
--- Saldana
Enid Blyton’s
The Famous ---

Russell
Crowe
drama,
--- Hood

Romantic
comedy,
--- You,
Man
Julia Roberts’ US police
The
office
Pelican --Be Kind
--- Gibson Rewind’s --- Def
Runner
Runner
star,
--- Arterton
Inspector
Wexford’s
first name

Singer,
--- Sayer

300: Rise
Of An
Empire’s
--- Green
Hymn,
Jason
--- Maria
Scott
Lee’s
Actor,
Rapa --- --- McKellen
Bing
Crosby
musical,
Holiday ---

Taylor
Swift hit,
--- It Off
The Family Crooner,
Stone’s --- King Cole
Luke ---

110 | Woman

Donald
Trump’s
daughter

Beyond The --Sandra
Bullock’s
The ---

Code Cracker

Sudoku
Fill in the blank squares with

Each number represents a different letter of the alphabet. Work out which

the numbers 1 to 9, so that no
number appears twice in each

number stands for which letter to complete the crossword. We’ve given you
two letters to start. All words are from a dictionary and no proper nouns are

row, each column and each
˦ˠ˔˟˟˘˥ʦ˫ʦ˕˟ˢ˖˞ʡ

used. All letters of the alphabet are not always used. When you have cracked
˧˛˘˖ˢ˗˘ʟЃ˟˟˜ˡ˧˛˘ˠˬ˦˧˘˥ˬ˪ˢ˥˗˜ˡ˧˛˘˕ˢ˫˕˘˟ˢ˪ʡ

7
4

9

5

7

1

6

3

8

3

5

4

1

5

7

6

8

7

2

15

18

3

16

2

21

5

10

7

3

16

4

8

17

10

7

6

8

8
7

8

6

1

6

1

7

16

8

22

4

5

10

15

20

13

5

5

15

8

6

11

18

6
6

6

5

5

8

1

1

6

7

6

10

14

6

16

17

18

13

13

19

6

10

18

6

19

7

20

8

21

9

22

10

23

14

3

6

18

10

7

5

8

17

6

13

7

7

1

6

19

6

10

5

16

16

6

5

1

10

6

15

7

10
5

C

4

14

11

5

3

9

18
10

S

4

6

17

10

1

3

18

17

5

2
1

12

18

16

18

8

14

5

15

15

5

10

7

6

7

5

15

10

16

10

17

8

18

16

14

7

10

5

10

2

16

20

17
10

6

7

20

5

8

4

10

6

24

12

25

13

26

8
7

1

18
6

6

14

2

14

2

6

7

21

6

8

18

5

13

5

4

5

9

5

17

17

16

14

6

1

6

17

2
4

9

3
5

2

Word Find
Find all the words listed hidden in the grid of letters. They can be
found in straight lines up, down, forwards, backwards or even
diagonally. The leftover letters will reveal the mystery answer.

2
3

6
7

4

5

9

6
3

6

5

3

6

8

4
9

F M C M U R D O S O U N D

A R

S

L

D N

B Q T

I

E N D

E

2

7

Y P

E H S

N E

I

S

S O R

S

A V

I

S

S E

Y

T

S

I

G S E

I

A

O A R D E

T

O E N E

S

A N H E W L

N N R E E

C S S C

E M O A

I

L

C A W L

T K

I

M M A

I

N E

A O E

C O A E N S

T E

S S D

H O E

N U S S E O H H U M R N L
A

Z U E

S E

E

S M R W

L

S

I

S

L

V L

L

Y E

B

A D

N

A E

T N

I

C O N R E H
I

H S C O T

A D N S N

I

S C

L W T

D

I
Solutions can
be found in
˧˛˘ˡ˘˫˧˜˦˦˨˘
of Woman.

S

A L

S U M V C H L W N E N S C R P

7

1
5

2

8

1
5

9

Answer:
5
12

6

3

7

8

5

4

9

1
5

1

14

6
9

2

1

T U O S E
T D

U G N E P

L

S

I

A
B
L

T B D F

ANTARCTICA
ALGAE
BLUE WHALES
BRUNT ICE SHELF
COLD
DAVIS SEA
DOME A
DOME C
DRY
EAST
ELLSWORTH MTS
ICE SHEET
ICE STREAMS
ICY
LICHEN
MCMURDO SOUND
MOSS
ORCAS
PENGUINS

PENINSULA
QUEEN MAUD LAND
ROSS ISLAND
SCOTT
SEALS
SNOWSHOES
SOUTHERN OCEAN
VINCENNES BAY
VINSON MASSIF
WEST
WILKES

Woman | 111

#reviews

EUPHORIA
screening on
NEON
now

Parents are freaking out, Vogue is obsessed with the ‘look’,
and Lily Richards tells us why we should watch Euphoria.
Euphoria is about a group of LA high-school teenagers
who spin around Rue, an anxious, big-feeling addict
whose dad died of cancer, leaving behind a gaping hole
and endless prescription drugs. To her detriment,
she discovers that big feelings can be dulled by pills –
downers, K-Pin, xannies, fentanyl and (spoiler alert)
eventually heroin. She falls in love with Jules, a trans
kid who dreams of going to design school in NY and
who puts herself on gay dating apps for casual sex with
grown men. Other classmates include an introverted
playwright, a sexually expressive cheerleader, a
homophobic predator and an online dominatrix.
Creator, writer, producer and director Sam
Levinson brings a hard-won authenticity, as he spent
most of his teen years as an addict. He treats time as
non-linear, with music, chronology and perspective
warped to mimic the experience of being on drugs.
The cast are spectacular, with special mention going
to the award-winning performance of former child
model/actor and Disney wunderkind Zendaya.
The show’s sophistication has led some to suggest
it is irresponsibly glamorising bad behaviour. And
to these critics, I say, “Stop assuming every form of
controversial art is a tutorial!” The drug-taking is not
the ducking-into-the-bathroom-type, where someone

has the time of their life after dancing for 11 hours.
Euphoria catalogues the depths of despair addicts
struggle through.
There is a scene involving an intervention that was
so visceral and desperate that I forgot to breathe.
Falling victim to gang members and running through
peak traffic to avoid rehab are not aspirational
scenes teens are likely to ape. This stuff is heavy but,
remarkably, still full of heart. Just like teenagers.
Instead of telling kids what to do all the time (as if
we actually have it together), we should take notes.
There’s a lot to learn here: from broadening sexual
norms to male rage, female friendship and
existential anxiety.
That we’re still wading through shrieky
condemnation of the basic, almost predictable,
themes of any teen show (sex, drugs, alcohol,
violence) is absurd. Now, more than ever, the world
is on its knees. Of course, teen drama is going to be
breathtaking in an “oh my god, they do that?!” kind
of way. I suggest that instead of freaking out, we try
tuning in.
Altogether, Euphoria is a fearless, compassionate
and refreshingly up-to-date take on big parts of the
current human condition.

MARCH PUZZLE SOLUTIONS
BIG CROSSWORD
G O L F
E
I
N
R
T I C S
L
A
E X P I
I
T I T A
I
A
E
L A
R A I L
S C
B E M O
L
V
A F R E
N
E
C I A O
H
R
E
R
D R A M
N
N I G G
I
E
T A S K
W
E
I
N
T I P O

E R
E
E A
C
T H
R E
U S
N
K I
S
P
R I
A N
I C
S H
E
P
B
E V
A
T H
L E
E A
D
C O
F
F F

N U M B E
O
E
S O N A B L
S
A
N
R E A T E N
R
K
B A
A
E
S T A L L
I T
L O
E A T E N
K
E S O
P T U R E
S T A R D
B
R
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H
A P E
C A S T A W
E R T
T
L A Y E R
O V
E R
R E B E L
S A
E
Y
S
A
R D R U M S
R
N
E
L O G I S T
O
L
L I N K U

112 | Woman

D
E
E
M A
B
U
P T
L
A L
C
I
D I
O M
P
L
A Y
T
T
E R
N
D D
U
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A S
S
A
P

I G U A
O
N
N A U G
S S
E
H A R
E
I S M
O R
D
I C S
Q U
O
U
M
S P E N
U S E
W
T
E S S E
S
T R
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N I
E S T
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U N A
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A L L R
S
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E X C E

N A
L
H T
O
D S
A
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A T
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F L
S E
R
S
M
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C H
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W A
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P T
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U
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Q
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N
M G
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L S
T
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D
F
A R
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P E
A R
L
L A
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T A
M
R E
N
N D
E
D

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O
S T
A
P
A P
M
P A
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F
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I A
N D
T E
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L S
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U S

L L S
T
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B L E
L
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A L M
N
C E D
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S
G
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E
E A R
R
A C E
M
D
U
I
C K S
A
T H E
D
E
D A M
U
N
T E D

CRYPTIC CROSSWORD

SUDOKU
5

7

8

3

6

2

1

4

9

7

2

5

4

1

3

9

8

6

6

1

9

4

5

7

2

3

8

4

8

1

6

2

9

3

5

7

4

3

2

9

8

1

6

7

5

3

6

9

7

5

8

4

1

2

7

6

5

8

2

4

9

1

3

1

3

2

5

7

4

8

6

9

2

4

3

6

1

9

8

5

7

8

5

4

9

6

2

1

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3

8

9

1

7

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7

2

9

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6

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6

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4

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2

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2

9
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1
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3

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5

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6

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8
4

STARBURST
A
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L
S

M O S
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A
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N A T
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C
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B R A N D
B L O O D
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B
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CODE CRACKER

WORD FIND
P
T E R
T
A R E
O
A L S

A

G E

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E

A

T

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C

W

I

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ANSWER: ALEJANDRO AND
CATALINA

HEXAGON WORD

1. Arrays, 2. Actors, 3. Hoists,
4. Obtain, 5. Squirt, 6. Saying.
MYSTERY WORD: ROSARY

A=5, B=8, C=18, D=14, E=15, F=7, G=3, H=2, ANAGRAM SQUARE
I=20, L=6, M=9, N=22, O=13, P=21, R=11,S=12, 1. Hello 2. Olive 3. Noble
4. Ember 5. Young
T=10, U=4, V=17, W=1, X=19, Y=16
MYSTERY WORD: HONEY
MYSTERY WORD: SHUTTER ISLAND

A VERY
BRITISH
SCANDAL
on Amazon Prime
Video from
April 22

TEXT: TAMAR MÜNCH

Above: Clare Foy
as aristocratic
socialite
Margaret
Campbell,
Duchess of
Argyll, in A Very
British Scandal.

From the writer of The Pale Horse and
Dublin Murders comes this historical
drama series starring Claire Foy as
Duchess of Argyll, Margaret Campbell,
and Paul Bettany as the Duke of Argyll,
Ian Campbell. A true story, Argyll vs
Argyll became one of the most notorious,
bizarre and brutal divorce cases of
20th-century Britain.
The series tracks the Campbells’
relationship over 16 years, starting
when Margaret, an aristocratic socialite
renowned for her charisma, beauty and
style, meets the dashing Captain Campbell,
holder of the Argyll title and land. Both are
married to other people (foreshadowing
perhaps?), but with their divorces already
on the cards, it’s not long before they
get hitched.
Margaret and Ian appear well suited:
each is as passionate, frivolous and selfinvolved as the other. They become the
Duke and Duchess and move to the Argyll
pile in Inveraray where Margaret starts
renovating the rundown castle. As it
transpires, Ian isn’t very good at paying his accounts,
so that isn’t all she ends up footing the bill for.
Over the course of this three-part series, we witness
the unravelling of the Campbells’ marriage. Ian is a
terrible drunk, and Margaret descends into vindictive
treachery in retaliation for both his viciousness
and his fiscal irresponsibility. Both are also guilty
of infidelity. Their subsequent divorce featured
accusations of forgery, theft, violence, drug-taking,
secret recording, bribery and an explicit Polaroid
picture. So, it’s no surprise the acrimonious split
became the subject of both salacious gossip and a
media frenzy in 1960s Britain.
Watching Claire Foy in another ’60s-era drama and
again playing a royal so soon after her stellar turn in
The Crown may provide a strong sense of déjà vu, but
she brings a self-assuredness to the role that helps
highlight Margaret’s bravery and resilience in the face
of public vilification and shame.

The North Water
Airing Sundays on Rialto
Set on an 1850s whaling vessel trawling
the Arctic waters between Canada and
Greenland, The North Water stars Jack
O’Connell (Skins, Godless) as a disgraced
ex-army surgeon who signs up as the ship’s
doctor, hoping to escape his past. Also on
board is harpooner Henry Drax (Colin Farrell),
a murderous psychopath. Not recommended
if you want something light, but this is a
brilliantly broody tale of survival in one of the
world’s harshest climates.

Cursed Films II
New series premieres April 7, with episodes
airing every Thursday
A documentary anthology series that explores
˧˛˘˙˔˖˧˦˕˘˛˜ˡ˗˙˔ˠˢ˨˦Ѓ˟ˠ˦˧˛˔˧˦ˢˠ˘ˠ˔ˬ
consider to have been “cursed”. The season
opener is family classic The Wizard of Oz,
and it has interviews with experts, fans and
the children of some of the cast. Other titles
showcased include Rosemary’s Baby, Stalker
and The Serpent and the Rainbow.

APRIL PUZZLE SOLUTIONS
BIG CROSSWORD
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CRYPTIC CROSSWORD

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ANSWER: WORLD’S LARGEST
DRAINAGE BASIN

HEXAGON WORD

1. Okayed, 2. Whisky, 3. Single,
4. Values, 5. Primly, 6. Dyeing.
MYSTERY KEYWORD: ASSUME

A=24, B=23, C=5, D=13, E=22, F=21, G=12,
ANAGRAM SQUARE
H=16, I=15, K=19, L=2, M=4, N=1, O=18, P=20, 1. Ebony 2. Ledge 3. Facet
R=9, S=7, T=11, U=10, V=8, W=6, X=14, Y=3, 4. Itchy 5. Noisy.
MYSTERY KEYWORD: ELFIN
Z=17 MYSTERY WORD: WISTFULNESS

Woman | 113

Dame June Jackson “smoked up a storm, was a hotshot card player and swore like a trooper”. Her
passionate crusade for rehabilitative justice meant she was the longest-serving member of the New
Zealand Parole Board, following her appointment in 1991. She lived life to the brink and then some.
A feisty fighter whose reputation and mahi are a part of the legacy she has left behind for others to follow.
A mother, a grandmother, and an immensely inspiring human being.
Read Moana Maniapoto’s beautiful tribute to Dame June Jackson on the E-tangata website: e-tangata.
co.nz/reflections/the-matriarch-of-mangere.

114 | Woman

PHOTO: HIKURANGI KIMIORA JACKSON.

Haere atu ra te Kahurangi Te MurangaJuneJackson

Clean Beauty.
Clear Conscience.
alephbeauty.com
@aleph.beauty